Thurs Oct 30

[on my way]

Mornin abbers,

First off, Mack?.3 days?.. or now 4, you?re kicking some butt and you know I think you deserve to be a bit selfish at this point. Eat too, all the chips, crisps, candy you need. We?re all pretty darn proud of your efforts, I?m sure your family is too!! SuperS, you?re doing great, glad you?re going to try for another few days. Pepper, what 26 or 27 days now?nearly a month, incredible!! New creation, keep at it! Spotty?..hope you?re doing well and Sausage, I miss you.

Middle of the night I was woken by a small one having a nightmare. Was up for nearly an hour and I must admit it brought back some memories. I certainly do not miss being awake at 3:00. The 2:30am to 5:00am feel like shi*, sweating and heart racing business??..DON?T MISS IT AT ALL!

The addition tests I had all came back fine. I have something called PVC, preventricle contractions. The short of it is, my heart skips beats, it happens a lot and it?s been happening for a long time. An underlying heart problem can cause them; it can also be caused by AL, caffeine, stress, lack of sleep, smoking and obesity. I had the first 4 covered pretty darn well. So, now that I am AF, I am working on caffeine (ugh), getting more sleep and stress reduction. We?ll see how that goes??? I now feel a little bit more at ease to start running more miles?.maybe loose my caboose.:H

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

BTW, Det and WiP thanks for the meditation links, very helpful!!

[retteacher]

Thurs Oct 30

OMW: Take care of your body...it's the only one you've got. It's so great that you're AF...your heart is undoubtedly thanking you. I've read that drinking damages women's bodies more than men's. In fact, it is a cause of an enlarged heart, so you have stopped just in time. I too remember the middle of the night sweats & heart racing. What an awful feeling! When I even think about AL for a second, I'm going to remember that awful feeling of waking up in the middle of the night.

This daily thread had so much great stuff these past few days. I love reading about tools & strategies. We'll be spending Halloween w/our kids & g-kids. My daughter is having a party, & there will be drinking. I know that I won't drink. Lately, I've been doing visualizations of the events I have to go to. I have a starring role in these visualizations as the totally sober person & designated driver. I feel that the more I do these social events sober, the more my AL brain gets rewired to a abs brain.

I hope you have a wonderful day & a big Hello to everyone to come.

Mary

[charlee]

Thurs Oct 30

Morning
Take care of your body......Wasn't thinking about my poor body as I was downing hard stuff by the gallons!!!.....It makes me think of just some of the positives that happen when we say goodbye to AL....Blood shot eyes, puffy skin, redness, palpatations, sweats, tremors, dehydration, bloat....and that is just on the outside. I am sure our insides are saying a big "thank you".......

OMW, glad your tests came back ok.....Sounds like you need your caffine...maybe you could wean off with some of those 1/2 reg and 1/2 decaf mixtures they make.

Mary - sounds like Halloween is going to be fun.....enjoy the time with your grandkids!!

Ok Macks, let us know how things are going......

Everyone have a great day!

[on my way]

Thurs Oct 30

Charlee, I have sometimes felt the need to write an apology letter to my liver. I was not thinking of my bod either.

[Mackeral]

Thurs Oct 30

Hi all,

Its really comforting to be back writing on a daily basis..Getting out what your feeling and going through, sort of releaves pressure from the brain..
OMW, i was doing the same as you last night..Woke up at 1am...The last few nights been having nightmares..But last night i was having a great dream about fishing...My little boy jumped on me and that was me till 5am this morning..Then had a woman from the drug and alcahol team knock on the door at 9am to take my blood pressure...Surprised i didnt break it..
OMW, i dont know if its the same thing but my dad had a similar problem around last christmas...Stress, alcahol, weight induced..I think they put him on a course of asprin to thin his blood..

Reteacher,
Good luck with the rewiring...I hope to visualise myself the way you do in the future..Though i know i got a fair way to go yet till im ready..

Charlee,
Already starting to see some of those effects...The eyes are less puffy and baggy...And instead of feeling 9 mths pregnent...I'm only feeling about 5 mnths...
Not that i know what feeling pregnent is like....But beleive me i seen it plenty of times..

Day4..Wahoo....Great day to all to come:l

[LVT25]

Thurs Oct 30

Good morning abbers!!

OnMY glad your tests are ok. My hubby has similar symptoms and has had for some time. Seems to be worse during stress or after a big binge. Along with the high BP, diverticulitis, gout......I wish he'd get smart like me and quit drinking before his body totally falls apart!:H

Had a crappy day yesterday--nothing seemed to jive. Spent a good portion of the day spinning in my tracks. It was such a beautiful fall day here, I could have been working outside instead of wandering from place to place trying to get work done without info I needed! Very frustrating. Then, to top it off, after deciding to put some soup in the slow cooker, and clean up the house for hubby's aunt and uncle that he said were coming for supper--I find out he was just kidding!! I thought it was hilarious! Actually it really hurt my feelings and got me to feeling sorry for myself and put me in a real bad mood. Then he informs me the boys have been invited to their cousin's for halloween, which really means he wants to go there and drink beer with his sil and bil.
To top that off, couldn't sleep because dh was snoring so loud, but just after dozing off, son #1 is up vomiting. Just get him situated and back to bed, ready to doze off again, son #2 comes in to tell me he doesn't feel well. Get him an urp pan, and back to bed. Off to sleep, here he comes again! Tell him to take his urp pan and go sleep on the couch!
Everybody feels good this morning though--except me!!

On a lighter, happier note. Very happy to be doing all this sober, instead of drunk or hungover. Will try to get over the hurt feelings that seem to be piling up---hope he forgets about Halloween. Had plans to stay home and watch scary movies!

I better get to work. Hope everyone (including me) has a great day!:h

[Cinders]

Thurs Oct 30

Good Morning,

Each and every day I am sober, is such a great day for me. I have been working from dawn to dusk on my client and am extremely tired, but I feel so good because I haven't poured any of that poison into my body.

Before MWO, if I was under this kind of stress, I would crack open a bottle or two and let the wine settle me down. And, then, of course, feel awful the next morning and have to do it all over again.

Today, I can actually be stressed and not drink!! I do have the thoughts, I do have the desires but I can resist them and like Mary said, I am practicing being AF. Every time I succeed, I change a little bit of my stinkin' thinkin'.

My relapses have gotten farther and farther apart, my binges shorter and shorter.

So, although I have not done as well as others here, I see such huge progress that I am heartened. It makes me know I will get to abstaining AND be happy doing it.

Yes, my body thanks me.

Thank you all, Mary, Charlee, Det, OMW, AWIP, Sunny, MM, Change, J-Vo, LVT, Macks and anyone else here I have forgotten to mention. This and my 30 days thread keeps me sane and happy. Without MWO and all my friends here, I would be lost.

Love,
Cindi

[Cinders]

Thurs Oct 30

LVT and Macks,

Cross posted.

LVT, I sure hope today is a whole lot better. Don't let those hurt feelings fester, gently let your hubby know what is bothering you. I find if I wait until I am not angry is best. Then we can have a calm and useful conversation. But, when I was younger, I used to sit on those things and let them eat at me. I found as I got older that it was better to talk about it and let hubby know my feelings. He doesn't always listen or agree but that is okay, no one ever understands or agrees with us 100%, can't expect that.

Macks, You are doing so well!! Yippee. You are 4/6 of a way through the roughest days. Thank heavens they gave you the Librium, it really does help. Please, please, jump on anytime you need someone. We will be here. We all know what you are going through and trust me, when you come out the other end of this, you are going to feel fabulous. You will only look 3 months pregnant then!! :H

Love,
Cindi

[LVT25]

Thurs Oct 30

Cindi--you sound so good!! Thank you so much for your advice and support! I think you are going to be just fine!!!:h:h:h:l

[pepper]

Thurs Oct 30

Good mornin fellow abbers,

Sounds like you are all doing pretty well. Doing good here (on day 26--thanks for remembering me OMW, and encouraging me). I had a rough spot the other day when I heard that there will be layoffs coming up before the end of the year for us. I wanted to hide inside the warm, fuzzy feeling of many, many beers but I talked it out with my bf and managed to get by without AL. I am so glad I dodged that bullet. I'm sure I make a better employee (or prospective employee) fresh and not hung over--duh!

Keep up the good work everybody...ODAT!
Pepper

[MormonMom]

Thurs Oct 30

Hi Everyone,
I'm sure some of you experience the same thing I do: Pop on the website to jot a quick note, and get sucked into reading everything. The next thing you know, 20 minutes have gone by and you still haven't posted.
OMW- WOW! I didn't know you were having those tests done. Are you feeling okay? Have you had to cut back on your workouts? And as for the caffiene, I too am trying to cut it out, but with no luck, or effort on my part! I even tried packing away the coffee pot, only to pull it out when I woke up groggy. Let me know how you do w/out caffiene and let me know any tricks you come up with. Maybe we could ween off together?
Mack Congrats on 4 days!! HUGE accomplishment. Be very proud!!
LVT- Sooo sorry to hear about how rough your last 24 hours have been. Good for you for not running to the bottle. There's plenty of triggers there that could have pulled you in that direction. Sounds like you need to set aside some alone time, even if it's 15 minutes in the closet meditating. Any little bit will help
Mary- Have fun at that Halloween party. You'll enjoy it being sober and you have become SOO strong!
Cinders & Char- Hello to you two too. 2 2 2 2 2 !!!!!
Have to go. If I don't get out the door, lil' girl will be late for school.
Everyone have a rockin' day!!!!!
And by the way, WHERE HAS SAUSAGE GONE???????

[LVT25]

Thurs Oct 30

Sorry about getting your name wrong On My Way (I fixed it). You know you guys that keep changing your avatars really mess me up!! I evidently have a visual memory. :H
On the subject of caffeine. I suppose I should work on that little addiction now. I had to take my coffee pot apart and fix it yesterday as it was leaking--I can't imagine not having my 3-4 cups of coffee first thing in the morning. I really need to eliminate the diet pop also. I'm sure all that artificial sweetener is bad. I've cut back though. One or 2 bad habits at a time, please!
And OMW, I was thinking about your heart issues. I had hubby start taking a garlic tablet, and he claims he doesn't have the "palpitations" anymore. Just a thought.
Keep up the great work, everybody. My day is starting out a lot like yesterday. I have communicated with one party involved, however, so it should get better there!

[on my way]

Thurs Oct 30

No big deal on the name.... and if i could get my little running guy back i would, can't seem to find him. I LOVE MY COFFEE... all I need to say.
Sorry bout the dh probs....mine can be a dh too but my dingdong does not seem to have al probs, just arse probs.
As far as barfing kids you can't get any more sympathy than you'd get from me. So glad that's just a temporary prob ;-)

[Determinator]

Thurs Oct 30

top of the world ABeroonies far and wide!

so nice to see you happy smiling faces (despite the barfing young ones...sorry LVT)

Ciindi you are so sweet, it's a joy having you here dear. You are so upbeat and happy now that it does my heart good.

J-vo glad to see you pop in..hope you come back and join us.

quite busy here at work so must run off to save the world....

be well friends

[retteacher]

Thurs Oct 30

Spotty Dingo: I just read your post from Tues. Please just get right back into abs. We've all had our slips, & I know how upsetting they can be. Just pick yourself up & get back into your program. I really try to remember how awful I feel during & after a slip, so that I can tell myself not to drink when the thought crosses my mind. Mary