AF Daily - Friday November 21

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Evening everyone

Been at work today, -interesting thread - lots of deep thoughts! I would like to think that I take my recovery seriously. I've found the site tremendously helpful like WIP said - "speaking out loud" or "on line" helps enhance my level of commitment.

In my early days of going AF since joining MWO I did spend a lot of time on this site - not always posting but reading around etc - I don't feel I wasted time because it really helped me but I was often logging on 4 or 5 times a day to see what had changed, what messages of support i'd had etc. Now I dont' come here as often, just once or twice a day - but I like to touch base - support those whom I can, whom I feel I can relate to and just let everyone know I'm still commited. This is a good thread to come to.

I do sometimes wonder what it would be like if we could all get together in one room!!! would we still have similar conversations / remarks to make to one another. Have never been to an AA meeting (would like to) but wonder how people do treat each other face to face as we're all bound to have different views / opinions on things. It's weird writing to people whom i dont' actually know - don't even know what anyone looks like (apart from DG of course -as i've seen her before and after pictures!) I imagine what some people look like after picking up little bits about them, details of their lives, ages, interests etc - but of course they're probably nothing like the faces in my imagination !!!!

I do find myself often wondering what happens to some of the people who just disappear from here - have they moved on , don't need the support anymore?
have they failed / relapsed / slipped up - however you want to phrase it! and are too scared to admit it , own up
Are they just bored of it/ disinterested etc.

After my drinking on holiday I did wonder if I should come back, because I did feel i'd let everyone down, mainly because so many people had been so supportive in my early weeks of 54 AF days. However i'm glad I chose to do so because everyone was so supportive again and helped me back on the waggon really quickly. I was flattered that some people wondered what had happened to me and were concerned - didn't even realise anyone would miss me! I do believe if I hadn't come back to MWO I would have drunk again for weeks and weeks before commiting to another AF stint again.

Thanks everyone for the AF drink tips - will certainly give the lime and soda a go - sounds good

Will check back in later

Sausage x

[Guest]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Wip,
I so know what you mean about this site. Its been hard work to stay here often (to be honest). I both love and hate it here. I have months when I dont come here at all.

I love that it was here that some people reached out to me and said things to me that were helpful. Actually, they were tough too.. tough on me but they were right. That was a huge gift to me. There is so much crap on this board, which may loosely be called community building.. but this site (for me) was never about building community but attaining sobriety.. so I've never taken part in that community building stuff. I always wanted to be sober much more than I wanted to find friends or be part of the 'in crowd' here on mwo.

Its a good feeling to know that some of my words have helped others, but its hard not to come over as a preach..

I've been here so long, but only have less than 500 posts. I'm proud of that fact. I think long and hard before I post.. is my post about drinking.. is it about sobriety and my growth.. who am I writing for and why am I going to press post quick reply.

So.. as to why I stick around.. I guess when I started I so wanted to have a long term future to look forward to. That did not exist on this site. I know people in my own life who have been sober for many years.. but here it seemed to be all about that first 30 days and then on to moderation. The more that became something that I simply could not do the harder I found this site. But it was still true that it was here that people had helped me so much.. and many of them went back to drinking and left the site.. and that was very hard for me. That is not the fault of the site, it is their decision and their action. Anyway, for me, writing about what has happened to me has helped me. And while it helps me, I'll write.

Brigid

[spottydingo]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Brigid, I left this site too for a while as I got caught up in political crap which was totally besides the point of this site, and it hurt me, and I wasn't sure I could come back. But I did, and now I don't really look at other areas of MWO except this daily thread. I find the people on here to be a great bunch, helpful and supportive, and serious about their sobriety regardless of where in the process they are. Sometimes I look at the New Here section and add my 2 cents as a way of giving back for those who helped me in the early days when I didn't know anyone.

It doesn't bother me that we talk about things other than drinking ... personally I don't have many friends (mostly because I've shut so many people out with my drinking), so it is nice to make a connection here even if it is sort of superficial. Plus, most of what we talk about is under the rubric of living a better life, be it cooking, reconnecting with friends and family or exercise. Though Sausage, you are right that it is sometimes strange to open up like this to others without knowing what they look like. Of course there are people here who I suspect I would have more in common with than others, and some I just don't get at all (and I'm sure some people would say the same of me) but the thing that binds us is our addiction -- and I try to remember that every time I log on.

Cheers.

[spottydingo]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Oh! And if you're a subscriber you get to see some pictures of people. I just became one today. Apparently Determinator likes taking pictures of himself!

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

G'day all. This has been some of the most useful, helpful reading i've done! (poor sheltered musician!)
Caysea said that he 'wont wish someone good luck', but just tell them this road is F$%^&* hard. I'm now refocused, and while i wish ppl. well, i wont be wishing anyone 'luck'. I have been reminded that this is a serious business, sobriety. I also agree, that at least for me, reading stuff re- modding here can be difficult. I am 30 day's on Monday, look and feel fantastic, and am going for long term sobriety. For me, i've learnt through my many hiccup's, and through listening to, and watching other's here, that i cannot mod... There is no longer any question/ battle in my mind.. This realisation a month or so ago, makes my journey so much easier. I am strengthened by all your' posts on this thread, and take what i need to get me through.

Wip, a big hello to you. When i first came here i was drinking, and posting away knowing i had to stop, but not quite 'ready' at the time. You challenged me gently, which was great.,( My 'know all' stubborn self was taken aback a bit), and i, like many, value your posts' and your presence here.

Great to hear the long termer's post here, as obviously it gives me for one, a bit of an inkling of what's to come. I am now proudly a non drinker, and am very excited about my future. I am gigging regularly again, and playing my music more ferociously than ever. I am grateful, and feeling the power of sobriety!. Hope i can make a difference to someone one day the way you guy's have made a difference to me. Keep it real....lot's a love,...... G.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Everyone:

I read this whole thread w/interest. I think everyone has his/her own path. Some people have come here & were able to get sober relatively quickly w/few, if any, lapses. Others have been here a much longer time when they realized that they were totally committed to being abs & staying that abs. I know I want abstinence & must have it. I've had lapses, but I think that has been part of my journey here. I'm certainly not proud of them but must put them behind me & move forward. I was so far gone into my alcoholic life before I joined MWO that the many AF days I've had here are a huge improvement for me. Again, that's not to say that I'm happy I've slipped & don't intend to do so again.

I was pretty much alone w/my drinking problem for a number of reasons. I hid it well, though I'm sure there are people that suspected I had some kind of problem. MWO was & is the first & only place that I'm honest about what is going on w/me. It is such an incredible relief to be out of hiding...that alone is worth every single minute I spend here.

I come onto MWO throughout the day for a few minutes at least...even just to say I'll be back later or I'm busy. I keep content of my posts about my journey out of alcoholism. This is kind of a living, responsive journal for me. My hope always is that I can help someone as well as helping myself achieve sobriety.

Mary

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

finally I'm here! yeeesh. what a slammin' busy day. all good though. sorry I've not had a chance to read up just wanted to say hi!

be well

[Guest]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Mary,
I have huge respect for you. Dont doubt that. Dont think that I got my sobriety easily. I had to fight like hell for it - just as you are fighting. there were times that I felt that I could not hold onto my sobriety and I came so close to caving in, you would not believe. My journey was not perfect, it took me years to get over my moderation dream. And you are right, we all have our own path.

I guess once I got this deadly serious I changed.

The core issue for me is the seriousness of this... because it got (and is) very serious for me. If I think my journey to sobriety was easy, then I would go back to drinking because it would be easy to get sober. The fact is that it is not easy. As I said before, no magic. I think you share this seriousness.. and I reckon it is testament to you that I come onto this thread, because you have just kept on fighting your fight... and this thread has always remained serious.

Three posts in a day. That is a record for me.
Brigid

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Friday November 21

Mary, you are helping people (certainly including me!) every day! Sausage, Dingo, G., you're doing GREAT. Yeah, G., I do believe I startled you a bit, when you first got here. You survived it just fine, and it's great to hear about how well you are doing...

Caysea, Det, ... now I've lost track, sorry ... everyone who posts here ... you're is a hero of mine. And I believe we are helping people we will never even know about, by giving them hope and lighting a path.

Brigid, thanks for THREE posts today!

wip