AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

[charlee]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Happy Thanksgiving to all.. I am at work, boss is lurking, so just a quick hello.......great thread today!!!

[Hopeful mom]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Hi everyone. On day 6 af; screwed up last Thursday after 2 wks af. Hope you all have a Happy Thanksgiving. I wll definately give thanks tomorrow for finding this site and learning from people who share my struggles. Thanks to you all.

WIP, I hate that you are feeling down today. Your wisdom and encouragement have helped so many people...including me. I am grateful. My hope is that someone or something happens today to put a smile on your face.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

What a great thread today. It's got me thinking about several really important things related to my sobriety. Nothing more to add now (are you SHOCKED??!!?? ) Just wanted to say hello to Hopeful and Charlee and Beck and Mary and Mom3 and Deter and special :l for WIP and hoping you can shake the blues soon. And also :l for Sausage and hoping you are feeling better today. And a big hello to all yet to come. This is turning into such an awesome thread - a very positive contribution to my sober life. Love you guys!!

DG

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Hello everyone, Happy Turkey Day (in advance!). I used to be a prominent member of this thread, but have only lurked as of late. I have tried EVERYTHING to be AF...but not hard enough. I love how this thread has grown, it has some great thought provoking posts, I and want to be a part of it once again.

I am going to begin putting in the hard work to attain my goals. There is no easy way, no magic bullet, just hard work, and I know I am capable of that.

R2C

[Guest]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Wip,
I hear you about people disappearing and your fears for them. I cannot count how many people I had trusted who then turned to moderation or who disappeared.

But this, Wip is what makes us stronger. All you can do is to trust yourself. That is all. That is all I can do too. If we listen to our hearts and our guts we KNOW what is right for us. I know this is controversial to say because is sounds like I'm a religious zealot... which I am not. I am not saying that there is only one way to live and that was is sober. What I am saying is that the only way for ME to live is sober and that is MY truth. There is a difference. Sure, of course, I reckon its best for most (certainly on this forum) and I think moderation is a dangerous option and emotionally exhausting for most involved in its tantalizing grip - Mary describes it excellently. Its exhausting to watch people dabble with it which is why I dont go to the mods forums at all.

I can only do this for me. I cant do it for anyone else. I know that solid abstinence is the way for me. Not one drink. Not one drop. I have faced the fact that alcohol was killing me and I have chosen to live. Why try it to see if it just harms me less. If I"m going to do something I may as well do it properly. Most advertising is a lie.. cleaning products that clean with a whish.. as if. Alcohol as a reward.. yeah right (not). Its like DG's exercise buddies theory.. its so true. DG cant stay sober just cos I do or you do.. what if you or I cave? She can only stay sober for herself.

In some ways this makes it seem harder, but perhaps it is more manageable too.. maybe its easier. Well, its my truth. I can only be responsible for my own health and my own actions... so I know that I wont drink and I wont toy with moderation. If you decide this is all too hard, then that is your choice. I'm sticking with my gut. It got me this far and I like that I have a future ahead of me now.

R2C.. yip, no magic bullet in my life.. but I sure looked for one!!! Ends up, I found it in myself.

Brigid

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Welcome back, R2C!!! Yeah, this is a great thread! And I'm so glad you are ready to get back into the AF life.

Brigid, I love what you said:

[QUOTE]"Its like DG's exercise buddies theory.. its so true. DG cant stay sober just cos I do or you do.. what if you or I cave? She can only stay sober for herself.

In some ways this makes it seem harder, but perhaps it is more manageable too.. maybe its easier."/QUOTE]

I agree. And, certainly, I have not decided that it's "all too hard." It's another one of those "balance" things. It's helpful to seek support and companionship along the way... but we can't put TOO much reliance on any particular source of support (or on anything outside our own commitment and strength), to always be there. That puts the ball always in my court, which in some ways makes the task(s) a bit more manageable.

wip

[momof3]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

I think this is such a worthwhile conversation to be having because the holiday season is upon us. There will be lots of people drinking, lots of people lapsing, and lots of people deciding to mod. I know that through this, I have to hold onto my own truth which is to be alcohol free.

[Loppy lugs]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Hi all,

Really making me think today!

As some of you will know I am struggling more with an AF life than I am with staying sober. All those years of supressed emotions coming to the surface etc etc. and heaps of other stuff but every day things move forward. Things that seemed impossible just a few months ago are now manageable and new issues materialise for me to face but I see it all as progress.

But sometimes on very bad days I start to think it is too difficult and I want to drink (typical British understatement here). Then I read the mods threads. It seems to me that moding is a constant struggle of, shall I drink tonight? how much will I drink tonight? what constitutes a relapse? Did I upset anyone when I accidentally got plastered last night? It seems to me that it would be harder to stay in that cycle than to do the work even if it takes years rather than the months I originally expected. (210days AF, not that I'm counting)

It is the struggle that I see on the mods boards that makes it easier for me to abstain. Well that and the knowledge that within a week of trying to mod I would be a 24 hour a day drunk again.

Best of luck to everyone as that work towards their goals.

Changing the subject completely if anyone has been suffering from panic attacks since they have gone AF, the sunglasses trick can really help. I didn't honestly believe it when I was first told but if I pop them on when I first realise what is happening often it will head off a full blown attack. It is something to do with sensory overload and reducing the brightness reduces the load or soemthing. I don't really care why it works it is enough to know that for me it helps. So I thought I'd share.

Time for bed now. Hope everyone Stateside has a wonderful holiday.

[Tom 4.0]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Hi everyone,

I know I'm late, is it tomorrow yet?

WIP, I am truly sorry to see you feeling low. I would like you to know what a great inspiration you have been to me in my short time here. Your contributions are always thoughtful and thought provoking. Your words are a large part of how I have come so far, so fast. I found this gem of yours in the Tool Box thread yesterday.

"Probably my simplest technique, and one of the most effective: When I realize that I have some thoughts or urges about drinking, I just quietly say, to myself--

I don't drink.

It is as if I am just giving myself a gentle reminder, helping me to remember, and truly realize, that drinking thoughts, urges, and cravings are no longer truly relevant in my life. They are just leftovers, mental habits, from a life that I am no longer living. And that feels REALLY good."

I think that says it all.

WIP, you are a mighty oak, I am just a grateful acorn.

Thank you.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Loppy: I tried modding many, many times (too many to count both before MWO & after). I made "rules" for myself. Soemtimes I broke the rules, sometimes I didn't. In the end, I found that it took all my energy & joy away trying to figure out how to drink. What for? So that I could have a few minutes feeling buzzed. It's all downhill for me after a few minutes. Not worth it.

Mary

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Hi Loppy! I have a similar response to reading about the struggles you are talking about. I want no part of it.

Tom, thanks! Let's just be oak trees together. All stages of growth. Let's keep growing, and helping others to do so, OK?

wip

[startingover]

AF Daily - Tuesday November 26

Boy has this thread helped me today. Thank you all...