AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

[keeta]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

kap (hope you don't mind if I shorten your nickname, please tell me if you do),

I have my own twist on the burying of emotions, I am the fakest happiest person out side, at work, etc, but as soon as I get home it is like I deflate, from the utter exhaustion of making such a huge effort. Either way...you flatlining, or me hiding behind the fake happy, ends the same...drinking..to hide from all the real crap

I think I need to accept the real crap, and the real emotions that follow, no matter what they are....
I am west coast, so right now it is 9:39 pm on Saturday Nov, 29...
enjoy your meeting and thanks for being here tonight...I needed everything you put forth.
feel free to pm me if you like about your meeting later, and I will try to catch up with you tomorrow on this thread as well!

Take care...I wish you courage strength wisdom and serenity as well!

[keeta]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

and PS...my own crappiness is passing as well
I am drinking hot lemon water and honey...there will be no first drink for me tonight!
Maybe there is really something to this!
Thanks again for helping me tonight...and you really did!

[kaponium]

AF Daily - Saturday, November 29

Hey keet and thanks - was beaut to get home to your message. Don't mind Kap at all, hope you all good with keet...

I can be lilke you were saying - nice to everyone "out ther?" who doesn't really matter, and a bit of a witch at home. What I am teaching myself today is to not a)be a doormat and b)exaggerate my emotion...i.e make out I'm happier than I actually am or angrier than I actually am etc.

In my recidivist relapsing past I have ALWAYS exaggerated an emotion in a self-sabotaging way, like a do-it-yourself "set up" for a bender. This is just NOT acceptable to me any more. I am unfortunately too dam selfish to remain sober for another person/people - but am blessed enough to want it for myself! God, thank God that old clock goes tick tick tick, and all things are passing!

How long you been married, etc? Looking really forward to getting to know you better...

We have won another day, my friend! Tolerance my watch word just now! Bless