AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

Hi all

Not been a good day - my eye is worse (conjunctivitisO - been off work sick because of it as it is weeping and throbbing- last night I was so glad I stayed sober, because when I realised it was getting bad and I'd need drops or something from the out of hrs doctor I was able to drive and get them at 11pm- my husband had of course drunk 3/4 of a bottle of "chilled white wine" so couldn't do a thing!! Thanks again to everyone who supported me last night enabling me to get through the evening AF.

WIP you are absoloutely right about the words we use being very powerful - chilled white wine sounds so much nicer than a bottle of poison!! I am sorry to read about the torment you go through when you visit your mother - all I can say is echo what others have said and which you must know in your own heart - however difficult it is , things would be worse if you were drinking.

I've joined the 3O day AF thread for December in the Newbies section - good to see many of you on there and welcome to all the new people on this thread. Am quite anxious about December - am taking it one day at a time but find it hard to visualise a totally AF Christmas and new year!! It was around this time last year that I realised I had a problem and needed to do something about it - had been drinking unhealthy amounts daily for over 2 yrs) but I decided to postpone doing something until the newyear - which is what I did - An AF Christmas and New Year is new territory for me - i'll need everyone's support

Bye for now

Sausage x

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

Practice makes perfect

Well, maybe not perfect......but I am learning that the more times I do something WITHOUT alcohol (or cigarettes) it gets easier. At first it was really hard, and I failed a few times. But honestly, I don't care to drink anymore. This holiday was a REAL test. I passed, it wasn't hard. Well, there was one time when we were in the bar.....but I was honest with my SIL and we left. But watching others drink and smoke like I used to almost makes me sick. I am so much happier this way, and feel better. And smell better too!

I'm saying this because for all of you that struggle and are just starting out, I want you to know it can and does get easier. At least it has for me. There IS hope. You can still do everything you want to do and MORE without AL!

Remember, we're not MISSING ANYTHING when we don't drink alcohol--well, except a hangover, regrets and embarrassment and guilt!

Lets DO THIS! Lets have fun this Christmas--without alcohol! And then next Christmas it will be EASY!! :h

[vinophile]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

A quick late check-in....
a few girlfriends (ones with whom I used to drink) called last night and invited me over for a drink. I've been hibernating for over two months since I stopped drinking so I figured I'd offer it up and go over with my perrier in hand. I stayed for about two hours,talked and finished my water. I refused the wine, which nobody really questioned and left by 9pm.
It was not difficult to refuse the wine but I have decided that I won't put myself in harm's way very often this season. I do beleive that you can make it through a drinking event without imbibing quite easily but sometimes it (the drinking event) can chip away at your resolve. I have decided to attend as many f2f meetings as time will permit as they do fortify my resolve to stay sober.
When it comes down to it the best present I can get(and give to myself) is sobriety for the rest of 2008.
Have a good evening. Will write more (and promise to be less self-absorbed tomorrow)

Janet

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

cymru: You are most welcome here. Please stay & share. It seems that the theme for today's thread is a clear, clean, AF holiday season. If that's a goal to anyone who might be reading these posts, please join in. We need you as much as you need us. Mary

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

vino: I too go to meetings a lot especially during this season. I find them helpful. When I'm around people who are drinking, I just try to remember that 1, 2, 3, or even 4 would not be enough...& even a little bit of AL would start me on a multi-day binge. Mary

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

finally back home in the garlic-cave. whew! always great to be home.

Greenyese, I love this line of yours: I felt like a drink yesterday and simply found it annoying. Not tempting as I didn't dwell on it. I just recognized it and thought "Grrrr.... go away you feckin' gobshite! LOL

WIP, sorry you had a bad visit, so glad you are managing to do it without the self medication.

greetings to everyone, sorry I don't get to you all by name but I read and appreciate you each and every one

be well

[keeta]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

Late for me again today.
Finished decorating, made a few batches of short bread and peanut brittle...made a yummy dinner, of steak, and baked potatoes, and fresh green beans...so I did eat...was on such an emotional high, then BAM.

I want a drink, I am crying, I am exhausted..basically I feel like shit.

When am I going to feel OK? I am on day 15, and I felt better on day 5 than I do now.

Sorry all, I just needed to vent, I guess I am just not having a good night. BLAH.

I enjoyed reading all your posts, I am sorry I don't have the energy to address all you wonderful people.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

Keeta, was there a part of the day when you DID feel good, or at least OK? If so, it's important to remember that... because, when the desire for a drink hits us, we often have a lot of distorted thinking that leads us to believe that we do and will feel rotten ALL THE TIME, UNTIL WE HAVE A DRINK. We forget that the desire for a drink WILL PASS as long as we don't give in to it...

Take care...

[kaponium]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

WIP - hang in there, is the weather/time suited to a bloody good brisk walk? Anybody you can phone? Just let that clock tick away the shitty time ....HONESTLY it will pass ay. STAY strong, if day 5 seemed better than day 15, think back to day 1,2,3...cause when we've picked up that first drink again, day one has to come AGAIN! Bless

[kaponium]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

Shit, sorry that was meant for keeta!!! Apologies wip

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

It's OK, Kap! I'm sitting here, relapsing... on chocolate. Just two pieces! I swear! Tomorrow, I'll quit again!

wip

[keeta]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

wip,

yes, there were definately parts of today that were great. You are correct about how when we (I) get into that "needing" head space, it is hard to think of anything BUT how incredibly crappy we feel, and how a drink would solve it (it being whatever particular emotional crisis I am having at that time, be it anger, sadness, anxiety...etc)
It will pass, and it HAS passed, thank bloody GOD...it was a good hour or more of hell, but it passed, and I am now having a coffee, and SOOOO glad I didn't drink!

I am glad I have this place....I really think it helps...ALOT!

kapo...while I was waiting for my coffee I stepped outside, and just breathed....deeply...the cold fresh air calming my very frazzled nerves. You are correct, the clock does tick away the shittiness.

I really am curious though, as to why I am feeling like today is harder for me, than say, 5 or 6 days ago. I can't imagine it is physiological...should the booze not be out of my system yet? That leaves phsycological(sp?). Is all this suffering I feel all self inflicted and in my head? If so, what can I do to ease it, I wonder?

How was your day today, kaponium, how are you feeling? I hope you are doing better. I missed connecting with you last night.

[keeta]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

eerrrrm....wip...did you say chocolate?????....now THAT would be awesome right now.

Is it wrong to wonder if eating chocolate chips out of the bag is OK???
Is that the equivalent to drinking cooking wine! (not that I have EVER done THAT ahem, hee hee)

[kaponium]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

Well then keeta - CHOCOLATE! Get yourself some, quick smart! Often we crave something sweet, alcohol is soooo full of sugar, sometimes a wee choccy or four a very good idea. Otherwise, a trashy novel (well, both!), or a bloody good tear-jerker movie. It is HARD HARD HARD, I had a crappy-as night last night for about three hours I was majorly psycologically uncomfortable. I just waited the demons out. It DID pass! Are you tired??? Let's keep in touch. Its 5.20pm here, I am about to start dinner soon but I shall keep an eye on puter! HANG IN THERE KEET

WIP - chocolate ain't going to land you in prison for anything, or get you in the shit with your loved ones! But I do understand. It is a monumentous occassion when I open a packet of bikkies and eat only 3!!

[keeta]

AF Daily - Monday December 1 - Let the Holiday Madness Begin (Without AL!)

kapo,

definately could open a box of chocolate and eat the whole thing, minus the ones I bite into and don't like, and place oh so neatly back into the box LOL.
Trashy Novels, oh yes, a good steamy Harrlequin Romance with much smut OR, I am going through a Nora Roberts phase...also she writes under the pen name JD Robb...both are great, and I love reading!
As for tear jerkers, I enjoy those as well (any excuse for a good cry!...very cathartic, and healing). Two of my favs, are Thelma and Louise and Titanic.

I am sorry to hear you had a crappy ass night last night. What was going on? Anything specific, we can help you plan for the next time, or just daily stuff that got to be a bit much??
WOW, three hours, it must have seemed an eternity, kapo. GOOD FOR YOU, for seeing it through! It is 8:30pm here.
In half an hour the show Intervention starts on A&E. It is such a heart wrenching eye opening show about addiction, and how is destroys peoples lives. Have you ever seen it? I think it will really do me some good tonight. It often shows very harsh realities of alcohol and drug abuse. It shows where I have come from and where I could end up if I don't stick to my guns and FIGHT FOR MY LIFE against the bastard alcohol.

I will keep checking in kapo, enjoy your supper, and I will scrounge my cupboards for some chocolate :H