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**kaponium** · December 2, 2008, 03:09 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

LOL , beatle. Thanks! I too am a VERY veteran (!) at this - been around the sobriety/recovery game for 15 years, that is ok, I have had over one year clean and sober a few times, 6 months here, 7 weeks there etc etc - one thing I have learned, and that is it is TODAY that matters. If I don't pick up the first drinky I CAN'T POSSIBLY get drunk, and I have a fightin good chance of doing it again tomorrw. Bite-size chunks and all that.... and there is certainly untiy in numbers - the 3 of us (you, me, keeta) at the same part in our path). I am active in AA - just home from a meeting now in fact. Have done 6 Goddam rehabs...lalalalalalala - the struggle has been lengthy - but I do believe I have learned a HELL of a lot. What brought me to my knees recently was that I was so SCARED of drinking that instead I picked up a needle and began to shoot morph for the first time in my life - how FU**ING INSANE is that?! Thank God it only lasted about a month, but I had to drink again to come down off the shit.

Phew! Anyway, by the Grace of God (higher power/whatever, it don't matter) I am clean and sober today. So that means, that no matter what comes my way - I have a programme of recovery and that brings me to a place of happiness, joy and freedom.

Hope your active day been bliss, matey!

Bless you beatle and keeta....EXPERIENCE/STRENGTH/HOPE - that is us!

**Cinders** · December 2, 2008, 03:11 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Beatle,

Thank you for starting the thread and the joke. It was funny.

I was awakened by hubby who flew into Colorado Springs late and needed to "hear" my voice. Yeh, he wanted to make sure I wasn't drunk. sigh.

I am here, sober and awake. Sigh.

Everyone else to come. Have a wonderful day.

Love,
Cindi

**kaponium** · December 2, 2008, 03:28 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Cindi - lol re the husband, it passes with time up. Mine used to give me what I thought was a most welcoming, embracing kiss - but I detected the sniff......!

**Tom 4.0** · December 2, 2008, 05:41 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Good Morning everyone!

First, a word of thanks to those who have gone before me and offered guidance and encouragement. I've been AF for about a month now, and I doubt I could have done it without the wisdom and hope that I have found here. Thank you.

Welcome newcomers, keep reading and sharing your hopes and fears. Someone here has experienced what you are working through, and can help you.

As for the holiday social occasions where others are drinking, I'm writing myself a new script for that story. We are the strong ones, we are living the lives that others respect; we won't need to boast and they probably won't acknowledge our strength, but they will know and we will know.

Live Strong!

**Doggygirl** · December 2, 2008, 07:00 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Good morning sober people! Thanks Beatle for getting us started today. I enjoyed your jokes yesterday and today. Nothing wrong with starting the day with a smile!!

Tom v. 3 - we need to throw you a big hoop de do tomorrow as it will officially be 30 days for you! That's awesome.

Wow Kap you've been down the path haven't you. I am so glad you are off the morphine. That is scary stuff. What is burned in my brain about it is my grandfather who died of cancer about 30 years ago and once things were hopeless he had free access to "the button." Between the cancer eating him up and the morphine....well, it was just scary. Another reason not to glamorize alcohol. Alcohol itself is bad enough and there is all kinds of other scary stuff littering the road where AL goes. Wonderful that you were part of "team AF" here last night all helping Keeta! That was awesome to read.

Cindi - I am sorry you have had a rough day / week. Keep forging ahead and I know you will earn hubby's trust back. How did the job search turn out - any news yet?

From yesterday..

Vinophobe (love that - I bet you will be sorry you posted it!) - I still steer clear of drinking activities as much as possible. I think it IS important that we eventually get out and as LVT says..."practice" being around it so we can get good and comfortable staying AF when others are not. But I can also understand the sentiment that you still want to avoid it as much as possible - so do I!!! And I don't feel bad about that either.

Keeta - I'm so glad you made it through the night. Are you taking the MWO Supplements? (I'll ask that of all the newer folks here!!!) The book I'm reading right now - The Diet Cure by Julia Ross goes into even more detail about what causes cravings for sugar (alcohol = sugar) and how to correct the amino acid imbalance. It's not magic - we've got lots of habits and behaviors and beliefs to work on as well. But giving yourself some physical relief from the strong cravings sure helps. 7 Weeks to Sobriety talks about all this same stuff too. For me - the supplements are an important part of my tool kit.

(off soapbox!!)

Deter - welcome back to the garlic cave!!

Sausage - I'm sorry to hear your eye is worse. Hope it's a little better today!!! Interesting you mention how hubby couldn't drive due to having had not a huge amount of wine (by my old standards - just a warm up) but too much to drive. Feeling guilty about being unavailable for emergencies and family care once the drinking began is one of the things I felt HORRIBLE about - a huge negative in my life with AL. Did he feel bad that you had to go out yourself? (of course that only matters if it matters to you!)

Momof3 you raised a point that really hit home with me - "normal routine." You are so right that holiday activities disrupt that. Never really thought about it that way before, but I'm sure that must be a big contributing factor to our stress levels, and subsequent desires to drink to relieve stress, even though drinking doesn't relieve stress it causes stress. I'm going to keep that in mind as part of MY holiday plan - work on keeping my routine as routine as possible!!!

Charlee - sorry to hear about your son's broken leg!! I think I missed that within the last couple of weeks. Just what you need on top of an already crazy schedule. Any end in sight to the madness at work?

Mary - it's good that you have nice memories of an AF holiday season last year. I know you will go to your family party and remain AF again this year, and have LOADS of fun with the grand kids. Where my head is at right now, the idea of playing with the kids - any combo of games or toys - sounds like WAY more fun than bickering with AL.

OMW - you also pointed out the "normal schedule" aspect of things driving Momo'3's point home. I did join a CSA - it's one that requires the shareholders to work. For a full share it's either $350 + 20 hours of work or $425 + 10 hours of work. I picked 20 hours of work. One of the on-line reviews of this CSA was from a woman who said she learned a LOT from the CSA and now does all her stuff on her own. So long as the woman who runs the farm manages to sell out all her shares, I don't imagine she cares about that. That is a really good price around here too. Most places don't require work and $350 - $425 maybe gets you a half share. Also, this CSA does not pre-make your boxes. They set out what is available each week and you get to choose what you want through some process (I'm sure they keep it fair to all). But you don't end up with stuff you don't want. I like that idea too, and it got favorable comments in the reviews. So we shall see. I'm excited!

Greenie, you KNOW it will be a doggy stamp if I develop further curiosity about letterboxing!! I love words too. To be honest, I'm more in love with "gobshite" than with "whilst" though.

Isn't it great to have a drinking thought which is more annoying than anything else!!!! WE CAN DO THIS.

LVT - your post ROCKED about how this does get eaiser. IT DOES. I hope that gives hope to everyone who is struggling!!!! "practice makes perfect" is a great way to put it.

Welcome Sheep (good to see you again, and cool avatar!!) and Cy!! Keep chosing not to drink and before you know it, we will have ourselves a merry AF holiday season!

Beatle - I am embarassed to think about the number of holiday activities I have cancelled in favor of drinking. Of course I made up other excuses but I wanted to spend all day drinking - not "having to deal with" family and stuff like that. The last several years I blew off Thanksgiving at my Aunt's house so I could sit home and drink. It was nice to have a "normal" Thanksgiving with the family this year. So many missed opportunities while spending the days with AL.

WIP - I am SO SORRY about your bad visit with your Mom. I can't imagine how gut wrenching this process is for you. Even at 50 years old I die inside when I think my Mom or Dad are "disappointed" in me. It seems like no matter what you do, you are doomed with your Mom and I don't know how you deal with it. :l:l:l

Yesterday was productive - I'm probably 1/3 of the way done with a chore I dislike - getting our business holiday cards out in the mail. I should finish the remainder of the envelope printing today - then it's just a matter of getting Mr. Doggy to sign his name to the cards and then stuff the envelopes. The worst of it IMO is deciding who all to send them to and getting the envelopes done. I the worst of it should be over sometime today!

I'm working hard to not get stressed about the economy. Our business slowed down quite a bit in November. I hope December is not a total loss. (another reason I don't like the holiday season!) Our biggest customer is getting slower and slower and paying. But stressing will not help (nor would drinking) - all we can do is the best we can do. Especially because I quit AL, we have avoided a lot of the Chamber of Commerce social events which are a big networking opportunity. As much as I don't like them, we have to get back to more of that. So for December, that means an "after hours" (aka drinking) event tomorrow evening, the Chamber holiday party on the 11th, and a couple other things this month in addition to whatever family stuff is going on. I will be glad when it's January! Then I think we will get a true picture of how the economic down turn will really affect us without the holidays mixing it up.

Well, that's enough babble today. I should have reminded you to get a sandwich first before reading this. Hopefully by now everyone knows just to automatically do that.

Have a great AF day everyone!!

DG

**namaste** · December 2, 2008, 07:25 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Greetings,
I guess you could call me a veteran as well. I was indoctrinated into AA over 20 years ago and was sober for about 15 years. The kids grew up, I let down my hair and the rest is history. I found MYO a couple of years ago, maybe 3, ge'ez, time, I just can't keep up with it, and have had some successful periods of abstinence. I recently launched a small design buisness and know that I cannot live the life I want, or be the woman I need to be if I continue to drink. I've struggled with motivation to even try to moderate this past year, being a typical binge drinker with an enabling husband, nut we made the decision once again to not drink after I had enjoyed a couple of bottles of wine with him...he went on to bed and I decided to get dressed and go to the grocery strode. I remember everything, including being very dnesky about hiding the alcohol that I purchased for the next day (Sunday), then proceeded to pass out on the sofa.

I wasn't going to tell him that I drive (we rarely drink anywhere but at home scared to drink and drive, thank God) but the struggle isn't a new one for us and he hasn't been any help. He has taken advantage of my binging by joint me (but I'm the one with the problem) and even if during these times I want to manage things, I can be telling him that I want to wait till the weekend, but he'll be the one to call me on the way home from work and ask if 'we' are drinking...well, what do you expect an alcoholic to say? No? So, the driving got his attention and he poured the wine out that I bought and we re-committed to sobriety. He admitted that he had not been helping me and is supporting me to take the topamax for a while. It will help me get back on track but I can't stay on it too long, nor do I feel like I need to once I get centered.

Hormones have really made it harder for me to manage the alcohol so moderation just isn't an option anymore. I turned 50 this year and feel like I'm in a whole new game...in many ways it's really good, life isgood, but I'm. Of allowed to bring the poison with. E.

I hope you don't mind if I hang around a little while. The boards seem to have changed a little since I was around. People get funny around here sometimes, but what do you expect...we can be pretty screwed up after drowning ourselves in alcohol day after day, heh?

Hope you all have a pleasant day....oh, and today marks day 10 AF for me! Yay!
Namaste

**namaste** · December 2, 2008, 07:38 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Quick point, I got sober in AA and found a path to spirituality through AA but haven't been a member I. Many many years. I honor it's tradition but it wasn't for me for the long run.
Namaste

**retteacher** · December 2, 2008, 07:58 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Namaste: Welcome. When people who want to be abs come to this thread, it adds so much to it. Here, we discuss strategies, successes, & yes, some lapses. For those of us who are really trying to get sober after years of drinking, it can be difficult. There is the rare individual who goes AF right away. But, for many of us, it's an uphill battle. Doing this together has brought me more AF days than I ever thought possible. Yes, I've had my lapses, but they don't compare w/the success I've found here. I'm bound & determined to become a non-drinker. I don't want to alter my consciousness any more. I want to face life clear. So, please come & share. We need you as much as you need us. BTW, I go to 12 step meetings about 1 - 3 times @ week. I find them a helpful supplement to MWO (which is my mainstay...I come here every day, unless I'm not near a computer).

Everyone: I'm doing well w/all my responsibilities. I'm taking my life one day at a time in terms of staying sober. There is no way I want to go back to being a slave to alcohol. I look forward to the weekend party, knowing I can stay sober. I've done it many times before. Once I get through the first 10 minutes wo/AL, I'm home free.

Love, Mary

**cymru** · December 2, 2008, 08:01 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Day 2 and still recovering a bit but determined to do this. Just wish i had some more money this Christmaas. Hopefully will be able to get Erin her bike this Christmas, as its something she really wants. Not buying booze will do that, so theres a BIG goal for me.

**A Work in Progress** · December 2, 2008, 08:18 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Good morning everyone! Namaste, welcome. Another veteran of AA. I did 3 years there, about 10 years ago, and it was a great help to me, but not a place I felt I could stay, over the very long haul. I still strongly recommend that people go there when they are first getting sober, and struggling. It can be VERY helpful. Eventually, some folks need to move on, however.

Had a nice dinner with a couple of old friends last night; women I have known for 25 years or so, neither of them heavy drinkers. We went to a restaurant... neither of them even had a single glass of wine with dinner... we had a great time. I need to and will spend more time with them. I have felt a bit lost and lonely over these last 6 months or so... and failing to recognize that I do have friends, and that I have neglected the friendships. Typical alcoholic isolation... I was NOT drinking socially, but totally on my own. In my own little hell. Yikes.

Cy, good for you, Day 2! What do you have in the way of a plan for doing things differently, this time around? Having a solid plan you can commit to, along with your own determination to get free from self-destruction with alcohol, is the KEY to success....

Beatle, LOVED the joke!

wip

**Doggygirl** · December 2, 2008, 08:42 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Hello again - quick before I dash for the door and my Tuesday business leads sharing meeting.

Welcome Namaste. I recognize your screen name from "around the boards." It sounds great that your husband has recognized that he needs to change a bit too. I can totally relate to 50 and hormones. I am also 50 and low thyroid, low progesterone and low estrogen caused me all kinds of problems on top of alcohol addiction. Have you read Suzanne Somers The Sexy Years or her most recent book Breakthrough? I took a bunch of the steps she recommends and OH MY what a difference!! I feel like a new and much younger person. So if the hormone blues are getting you down too, there is hope!! Anyway...here's to an AF holiday season.

Gotta go - hi to all who have checked in today!!!

DG

**Cinders** · December 2, 2008, 08:53 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Hi.

**retteacher** · December 2, 2008, 09:04 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

Hi Cindi:

I hope you're doing OK. Keep your chin up...regardless of what your hubby thinks. Maybe you could have some fun w/him as long as he's there w/you. PM me if you need to. Mary

**LVT25** · December 2, 2008, 09:57 AM

AF Daily - Tuesday, December 2

A lot to absorb so early in the day! I wish i was one of those that can remember and comment on what others have said/done, but I am starting to acknowledge the fact that those particular short-term memory brain cells have been badly damaged over the years. I hope getting off the poisons and supplements and brain exercises I can get some of that back!
Tom--I really liked your positive affirmation. WE know and that's all that matters. Sometimes I get discouraged when I don't get that "hell yeah" and pat on the back, but it's not necessary. I KNOW.

DG, thanks for reminding me about Christmas cards. Every year I tell myself I'm not sending so many, and then I end up spending about $50 on postage. Anyone that has an e-mail address will get theirs electronically. I bought a "Vintage Aluminum Christmas tree" in Missouri. I have been watching for one since I got the idea last year. My grandparents had one and I love things that remind me of "stuff". Anyway, I want to get it decorated and take a photo of the kids for Christmas cards this year.

Hello Namaste and all the new-old members here. Thank you so much for sharing with us! Cindi and everyone else that's struggling or ill--please know you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Beatle--awesome to see you here--particularly LOVED the joke this a.m.!!

Well, got a call from a repairman--better get dressed!!

Have a good day all! :h

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