AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

[SAUSAGE]

:welcome: everyone

It's almost 6 am here (very cold in UK) and I've just woken from a very realistic drinking dream - first one in ages - in that I was at some sort of festive party and i'd just have one glass of champagne - which in the dream I did, and then what was really scary was in the dream I actually thought - well i've had one now so I might as well have a glass of white wine - and i'll abandon my AF days for a bit and check back in to MWO after Christmas / new year and restart counting AF days at the start of next year......

Then I woke up,in a real state, until I realised it was only a dream, thankfully, but couldn't get back to sleep, so came downstairs to the computer and had to start off the daily thread to get myself back on track. This has really frightened me and done me no harm - just wanted to share it all with you.

It's a horrible cold and wet day - amazed it's not snow, (although I know it is in some parts of UK) and I must brave it out later to attempt more Christmas shopping - there's loads I still have to get and I hate it this time of year as the shops are so busy. Every year I plan to get organised in September but it never happens - maybe next year!! At least this year i've made 50 hand made Christmas cards (still have to buy some bought ones to supplement these with) which is something I wouldn' t have contemplated doing when I was drinking. Still have't been able to exercise -not even swimming as still have remains of my cold and feeling a bit rough and still struggling with ends of conjuncitivitis in both eyes - really am a wreck!!

Have a great AF day everyone - will check back in later!

[kaponium]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Hiya Saus...I have had plenty of those dreams...upon awakening I almost experience the hungover mouth thing. Turning it to a positive note, it is a healthy reminder of where I have been in reality and that it is only a dream, ....I reckon one of those dreams now and again doesn't hurt me at all....so long as I am working on my recovery, they remain just DREAMS!!!! Hope your day plodding along productively now

[startingover]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Hiya Sausage! Yep, the UK is truly miserable just now...I have just been out for a walk with the dogs and got soaked, so I abandoned their usual lengthy walk and came home...
I am glad that the dream did you some good although I can understand how unsettled it made you feel. I used to have using dreams often and even woke up thinking I had a hangover, you know real headache, real nausea etc, then once I had pulled myself together the "symptoms" left. Scary but useful.
I think this time of year is going to be challenging for all of us, for me, I just have to remember that it will pass, and I WILL get through it...which reminds me, I havent even THOUGHT about my Christmas shopping yet...
I hope you feel better soon, but you are doing great anyway..
Take care and all to come have a wonderful day

[Guest]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Hi abs people.

We talk here about the power of our thoughts.. and yet I read so often about how *challenging* a holiday period is.. perhaps we can think about this a different way.. so its not a challenge, but it will be an achievement period.. an achievement of our hopes for abstinence and what methods we will use to get there. I think that way it does not seem so overpowering. words huh! Perhaps it can become even more than just abstinence, but an achievement of exercise, meditation and abstinence.

I have far too many xmas parties to go to myself (miss popular, that I am ..(as if!!)) but you know what.. the thing that is stressful is the standing around and feeling like you are supposed to be entertaining or entertained.. its really no wonder people drink. My suggestion (this is what I do myself) is to tell yourself that its ok to be silent in the group and to use the time to watch what others do.. its quite enlightening. Also, if there are children around.. stick with them.. they are MUCH more interesting. Another thing that I do is I circulate a lot.. so I go from one person to another so I limit the amount of small chat that i need to have and just say the same thing a lot!!! It helps pass the time. Another thing I do is if its in someone's house, get involved in the kitchen.. that really helps me.

Drinking dreams. I had lots of them in my first year.. I have not had one in ages, but I dont doubt I will from time to time. They do not distress me like they used to.

Brigid

[cymru]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Good morning all. Just a quick post, as i need to get back to sleep(well, try)
Day 4 of the battle and feeling good.
Will post a bit more of how im doing when i wake up again!
have a great day all.

[brittzak]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

I really have don't the drinking dream...guess I should be grateful. Kinda odd to me as I read many here do and I have had very few and if so they are usually negative ones like in real life.

Have to work out of town today but will be back tonight. I hate the drive as I go up with 3 other people that I find challenging to be around. One is pregnant...first baby and whines constanly, other just annoying, and third is a mid-40's gentleman with a mentally disturbed wife that frankly I think he drove her there and he is anal retentive and will surely get us lost on the drive and FREAK-OUT...so beings I am feeling good this morning, I am taking Brit's ipod..and ROCKING on.
Kids will be home tonight so I will make them a nice dinner and stay off chat and cuddle with my little man. I think he needs Mama time tonight. I think mama needs cuddle time too. Maybe should rent a movie. Something Christmas like to get us back in the spirit around here. Brit will be happy girl tonight has her phone in her room is FIXED and our internet is working properly again...I am happy Mama too. Was driving me nuts. Kept kicking us out of chat...OMG can't have that. Is my lifeline in the evening to staying sober.
Well, to all that come today...have a great day!

[Cinders]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Hello, everyone.

We have rain and cold today, too. It is a good day to be home, sit in front of my fire and think.

I spent all day in bed yesterday and all night last night.

Head is killing me. But, it is getting better and as you can "see" I am up and about so things are hopefully looking up.

Hope all have a great day.

Love,
Cindi

[kaponium]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Wishing all to come a happy AF day. It's bed time for this kid

[brittzak]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Oh Cindi, I so feel for you. I start PT Friday. Feeling like crap gets old. I know it is depressing, did you go to the shrink or is that today? I sincerely hope that helps.

[Tom 4.0]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Good morning all,

Well, I survived yesterday's meltdown AF. For the first time in my life, I had a bowl of soup at 4:00 in the afternoon and it really took the edge off a difficult day. I guess I have been using beer to satisfy late afternoon hunger for all these years.

Thanks for everyones posts yesterday; they inspired me to change things up. This whole experience seems to be about creating new, healthy habits.

Peace

[Cinders]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Brit,

I go today at 2:30. I have high hopes that she can help me. I do need some outside help.

Tom,

It is true, changing things up and planning for known trips is a must.

Sometimes, like Brit was saying yesterday, it seems like "will this never go away?" and then sometimes it is easy.

We need to be grateful for the easy times and prepared for the difficult ones.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Good luck Cindi.

As far as changing our mindset: Yes, I agree that we don't have to dread the holidays or feel they are something we have to "get through." We can enjoy them AF. I too have had to sit & listen at parties, because I wasn't lubricated by AL to join in...especially if the conversation was inanely alcohol-driven. I like to help in the kitchen, or if there are kids running around, play around w/them. There are definitely ways to enjoy a dinner wo/drinking. Next Fri. we're having a small dinner for neighbors. I'll ask them to bring a bottle of wine (which they can then take home). We might get a bottle too, but I'll make sure it's only one. When we "underbuy by my old standards" I won't drink, because we would run out. Those are some of the tricks I use to get past entertaining w/wine. We just don't buy enough for me to drink. The first time we did that, I was amazed at how little went such a long way when only normal people were drinking. I just upped the ante all the time when I drank. Love, Mary

[namaste]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

Good Morning Everyone,
12 days AF and things are getting interesting. It always amazes me how skilled I am at disconnecting myself from my feelings...one way or another, the most efficient and extreme way, of course, being the use of alcohol. So, needless to say, those feelings I've been drowning for months have made there long slow journey upward into my heart these past few days and I am just being with them. I intuitively knew they had began their trip when I made an appointment with my beloved therapist two weeks ago, whom I'd not seen since August when I first stepped out with my buisness, nut it had been months before that since I had seen him. He had been like a spirit guide through a previous 'dark night of the soul' and I am grateful to know that he is there, as I am to you. He has reminded me that our journey is a spiraling Journey...I know this from my own experience, and it is so frustrating, especially at a time for me when ifeel that I am at the cusp of things really coming together in my life...success is in my reach. My therapist is a theological psychotherapist, which is pretty cool..he speaks a little C. Jung...but brings a broad spiritual perspective to everything, so what is interesting to me is why I would want to drink when things seem to me going do well...the marriage, the new biz, etc. Some of it's pretty simple, but it still just baffles me...fear of success? Whatever it is, it seems whenever I move more into a place of personal power, the temptation (AKA: the addiction, evil, the devil, ego, shadow, dark side...whatever you want to call it), seems to want to come in and swoop me away...and, it's usually when I've let my guard down, when I'm weak in body (not exercising) and spirit (not praying or meditating....no problem with being strong minded...a little too much so for my good. A perfect recipe for disaster, so here I am again, on my knees. Thank God (I guess, dang it ;o/ grrrr dang it!)

I'm resting today. I need to just slow down and breath...

Namaste
Di

P.a update on kitty, she is old and her kidneys are slowly failing. She could possibly live another year, but doubtful. ;o(

[on my way]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

WOW, what a busy day here. I have a lot to do and can't wait to get started. Hubs is home sick so have to work around him but all is well otherwise.

Cy, way to work through it!! All those tools, write down anything that works take the edge off.

I have decided to look past the boozy part of the holidays and focus on the new year and what it will bring! I will get through af and I'm not going to dwell on it. My evenings are always busy with soccer/football training for the kids.
I was asked yesterday to play on a moms team......omg what was I thinking I said yes. Yep, the new year will be good

happy wishes to you all, nat

[namaste]

AF Daily, Thursday December 4th

I,m catching cold too...no surprise there either. There are no coincidences in life!