MWO Retirees

[ready2change]

MWO Retirees

Oh AA...I feel your pain, and I'm sorry your going thru this. I have been in your shoes, both alcoholically and with regards to MWO. I have only recently begun posting again, yet feel hesitant to do so sometimes.

I sincerely hope you stay, your sobriety and words of wisdom are valuable here. Thanks for taking the time to help others.

R2C

R2C

[momof3]

MWO Retirees

AA,

Here's my take on it, and I've talked to some MWO friends about this. MWO can be both healthy and toxic.

Part of my work in my recovery is to not get sucked into the drama and the conflict because it is really easy for me to do that. It's like getting a fix or a little buzz. My addicted personality likes it.

I would sure hate to lose you on this site. I think you are wise to be stepping back and looking at the larger picture. My minister spoke yesterday about how the holidays and the winter season bring up so much for folks, both good and bad. I think everyone is a little on edge right now.

Be well
Mo3

[retteacher]

MWO Retirees

Mo3: I too stick to forums & discussions that I feel will be fruitful in terms of my sobriety. Mary

[hippie37]

MWO Retirees

retteacher;489881 wrote: I could use some clarity about the issue of people retiring from MWO. There might not be anything that any of you can say to take the confusion out of this issue. Just today, I found out that 2 of our most active members are out of here. In fact, I was going to PM one of them to see if I could ameliorate the situation in some way, but her name & avatar were removed from the members' list.

I haven't always loved all the posts I've read here, and I definitely don't like to read posts from people who are under the influence. However, I can't think of a time I've been insulted or intimidated. I think when people remove themselves from MWO, I feel a little shaky...sort of like: "Do they know something I don't know?" This site has been such a benefit to me, I hate to think that someone had a negative experience.

Anyhow, I guess these retirements are in the natural scheme of life. I can't think of any other explanation, because I've seen this happen fairly regularly throughout the year & a half that I've been a member.

I know that folks don't come here when they've gone back to drinking. That's probably pretty normal.

Mary

Mary I think like many addictions we tend to replace one with another in a sense. Well I speak for me and me alone here rather than the 'we'. I found I was not 'living' STILL and was using this forum for many months for more of a social gathering. At the end of the day this is not what this site is about really and I have Facebook and Myspace to social network etc. One of my drink related forums from Delphi Forums has set up it's own network there etc so we can post pictures and tunes and make 'silly' comments etc away from the forum less it detract the newcomer from what's happening.

I'd be happy to set up a facebook network for those who wish to join from here if that's OK?.

I guess (me personally) that my time here was spent among friends enjoying the gossip! and having a luagh rather than continually talking about my drinking problem. Life problems are what wreck my head these days and so I guess talking about life in general gives me some kind of alternative perspective from my friends that know and love me.

But like I say It did become addictive I think to come online each morning before I'd even thought of anything else about my day. I've stopped doing that and I'm a lot happier with my time management on here these days. There have been times in the past like you said that even I have posted in not so good a frame of mind but I guess it's because I felt 'safe' here. I think that becomes the problem and certain 'advantages' were taken because of it.

Anyway I just wanted to say Hello Really!!lol

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xxxx:l

[LVT25]

MWO Retirees

Seems strange so many of us are feeling this way at the same time. I posted in Ab's this morning about my feelings lately.
For whatever reason, I don't feel I have much to offer here, and have been visiting the site for curiosity sake. I'm not worried about my own sobriety at this point. But I do care about others and wish I could inspire. Cindi-I love your attitude--you must be a very special person!:l There are all types of personalities here, and it really would be a shame if everyone were to retire. AA--you have so much to offer, I hope you can find a way to stick around and not jeopardize your recovery. Same goes for everyone here. What do you say, shall we try to focus on our favorite threads and help some newbies along the way? :h

[AAthlete]

MWO Retirees

It's amazing to me how little things like this can throw us off. I got a phone call from my wife today questioning about a payment to the hospital for my son's endoscopy. My first reaction was to get very defensive about it, even though I had been late in sending in the payment.

Was it the right thing to do? Of course not - but doing the next right thing can be so damn hard to do sometimes. Okay, I finally sucked it up and apologized and all is good, but it was a good reminder that if we don't focus first and foremost on the things we need to do to keep our program in order, we are playing with fire.

[retteacher]

MWO Retirees

I think that right now MWO is very central to my recovery. I am in no way confident about staying abs. I know that can go awry in a minute. So, I need the continuing support of this site but will continue to restrict myself to the forums & threads that inspire rather than upset. Mary

[Doggygirl]

MWO Retirees

Mary, you are wise to do exactly what you are doing, at least in my opinion. I didn't used to be as diciplined as I am now, and I HAVE gotten myself bogged down in MWO happenings that were not directly helpful to my sobriety. As AA mentioned, that can start to feel exhausting. I've taken a few MWO breaks as a result. But Mary as you say, then I miss out on the GOOD stuff that I come here for.

I am now very strict with myself about what areas of the forum I read and participate in. We all need something different and there is a lot of variety here to satisfy all tastes. Now that I am taking responsibility to keep my nose out of places it doesn't belong, I am happily getting the benefits I need without the downside that I used to feel.

You never know - WIP may decide to come back after a break. I surely enjoyed her posts too and especially her "tough love" and wisdom that came from both her professional and personal experience. I participate in SMART too, so it's good to see her there. The SMART tools have sure given me some new weapons in my battle with AL that's for sure!

Anyway, it is sad when friends decide to move on but at least in this case we know where to find her. I still miss Satori - he was an important part of my early inspiration and sadly, it seems his "break" is lasting for good.

Anyway...I am just so grateful for all of you who participate in Daily Abs and in monthly Abbercise - you are all a huge and important inspiration to me.

DG

[Forever]

MWO Retirees

I'd be happy to set up a facebook network for those who wish to join from here if that's OK?.



Hippie. I don't post much at all, but I'd be interested in the Facebook thing if you still want to persue that. I read a lot more than I post. I had a good chat with Determinator, CS04 and Rags this morning. I've been around the site for ages, just getting sober after 2 years. Don't know how long it will last but fingers crossed eh?

F, x

[caysea]

MWO Retirees

Hi All
I know for myself MWO was needed in the beginning.I wouldn't be enjoying a sober life right now if it wasn't for MWO.I have also changed in the past 6 months.It is now not about stooping drinking but living a sober life.I started using Smart recovery about 2 months ago to go along with this site.I now need to be with people who have a tough love approach to this problem.I want to be with people who have a good amount of AF time under their belts.I have been feeling of late that if you give someone tough advice here they don't want to hear it.
Well for me I am also pulling back.I will be going to AA meetings to see what I can gain their.A lot of energy is being wasted here on mod vs AF .I now would prefer to be with people who have the same mind set I do .Nothing wg with the mod people approach. I just don't want to even be around this debate any more.Also a lot of administration changes going on that I am in agreement with but this also takes away from the reason to be here.Lots of discussion, lots of talking.Will still be here but looking for the next piece of the puzzle in my recovery.Were ever that may be.Yes I would like to be someone who will eventually not need a support group and can check in once a year to say life is good when you are sober.

Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
AF 5-16-08

[SAUSAGE]

MWO Retirees

Hi everyone

MWO has been very important in helping me with my recovery. I have encountered nothing but support on here and this together with making myself accountable by posting myself etc has helped too with my recent success.

I haven' t personally encountered anything hostile but then I really only stay in "safe areas" and I don't go near any moderation sections. Having said that I have noticed one or two unpleasant posts that appear to be directed at others and I can understand why people get upset.

I agree with caysea that a lot of energy is being wasted on mod vs AF and the concept of mod is not a good one for me so I stay away from those areas.

I think MWO can be a very addictive place to be. When I first joined I was here a lot, checking in first thing and many times a day however I don't feel that was bad, as I did achieve success as a result and I did need the support early on and it was a great help to me. Now i'm more into a routine with my AF life I don't need it as much, and I am starting to develop other interests, but I still like to check in regularly and say hi - it's an important part of helping myself to stay sober. I have liked to support others too, whom I feel I can relate to, but this can be emotionally draining and time consuming, however I feel I would like to reach out to others and give something back in return from time to time if I can. I wouldn't be where I am if people hadn't reach out to me.

Regarding retirees, I do wonder frequently what happens when people just disappear without trace - I hope they are happy with their lives and don't need the support of MWO any more, however I fear in many cases they are back drinking again. I very nearly dropped out after my October holiday when I briefly drank for 9 days whilst away, but it was the support of everyone here that got me back on the waggon again.

In summary I feel MWO is a great tool and can be a fantastic source of support but it has to be used wisely.

Thanks again to everyone over the past 3 months who has helped me.