For WIP

[cymru]

For WIP

WIP, you know my feelings about this, but i wanted to add my public support. Your threads and advive have been greatly appreciated and welcomed.

[Tom 4.0]

For WIP

WIP, your words and advice have been very instrumental to my progress so far. I appreciate your help. I have gravitated to the Monthly Abstinence and Long Term Abstinence forums myself.

Thanks for being here.

[vinophile]

For WIP

WIP,
I generally only read the abs thread so missed what happened elsewhere. I certainly appreciate your participation in this thread!!! You are a rock of sense!!!
I rented the dvd "The Visitor" which you recommended last week and loved it!!!
It's good to see you here.

Janet

[gabby]

For WIP

Wipper snapper I knew you would be back. I told these guys so. I think you have a good plan. i am still af too.

[retteacher]

For WIP

WIP: As far as welcoming newcomers:

I think newbies will find what's right for them. I actually started the ODAT thread quite a while ago. When it turned into something different than I had intended, I left it to others who use it in a different way. Newbies are free to explore, ask questions, get acquainted, etc. If they are motivated to be AF or mod, they'll find their way here or to other threads that suit their needs. It's not your or my job to welcome & orient newcomers. I've been here for a year & a half & just found out what PMs are & how they work.

In my Alanon group that I go to, there was a suggestion that we have a special newcomers meeting so that people will understand the program. I voted against that idea. People who are motivated will stay & learn, & people who aren't won't. To me, it's codependent to coddle newcomers too much.

This might sound hard-nosed, but I feel that I could so easily fall into that role of "helper." There's nothing wrong w/helping, but I try to remember that we're dealing w/grown-ups who can find their own way.

Stay with the people whom you feel comfortable with & supported by. We value your research & energy. Love, Mary

[Sunbeam]

For WIP

WIP, I am glad you will still be stopping by. The volume of support here is wonderful, but you have helped me more than any other individual. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I haven't read the hateful posts, but I can imagine that many are not ready to hear your reality-based responses. I can't blame you for backing off. It is called self-preservaton, right?

[LVT25]

For WIP

Thanks for your reply to my ? WIP. I guess the reason I asked is because it gets a little frustrating to reach out to the newbies and it seems about 90% are never seen again. i sort of feel obligated, especially if no one else has replied, or if I feel they can relate to my situation. I understand your position as well. I have never been a part of any other forum (except quitnet briefly), but I like the idea of the moderators also being the welcome wagon so to speak. I always try to recommend the book and the program which I feel is VERY important. :thanks:

[gabby]

For WIP

reteacher, exellent advice.

[Seacailin]

For WIP

WIP
You know I love ya. So glad that you are not leaving us. "Mean People Suck". I will always think of you as the "Wise Owl who joined MWO". I remember you from the very beginning. You give excellent advice. Sometimes people just don't want to hear the reality of it all. I look forward to seeing you around.:l

[periwinkle]

For WIP

Hi WIP, welcome back! I was also sad to hear that you had left. I stick pretty close to my own little corner of the forum and it took me a while to know what was going on. I didn't read any of the nasty stuff. As you may recall from my early days, I tend to steer clear of those nasty encounters. You had some very encouraging words for me at that time. I'm sorry that you were hurt. But I am glad that you gave it some time and thought, and that you have come to a decision that works for you.

periwinkle :l

[Lila]

For WIP

I used to go to al anon, in my previous life. I remember my first meetings, specifically the beginnner's meetings. Actually, my first ever meeting was a beginner's meeting. The books and pamphlets...Kleenex boxes, I would cry a lot. Knowing there was some kind of refuge. I got all this nice attention from the long-timers, and then the other new people there I would see later in other meetings, and it was like oh, we started together...it was nice, like family, and so wonderful to see how we had progressed, the new light in our eyes.
I sometimes miss al anon a bit.
Mary, I see your point, I just wanted to share my experience.

[DeeBee]

For WIP

Damn Wip, my heart stopped when I read that you were modding!! Shew, don't do that to me!!
So chuffed to see you back - I've missed you;-)

[A Work in Progress]

For WIP

Gabby, you were RIGHT, by damn!! And, thanks...

Gyco... hmmm... thanks?

Deebs.... just a leeetle joke...!

And, thanks so much, Bandy, Limers, Sausage, R2C, MO3, Cy, Tom 3.0, Vinophile, Sunbeam, Sea, Peri... Y'all are absolutely tops, in my book. You, and those who posted here earlier, have helped and encouraged me so much...

Yeah, LV, that was my experience, too, with probably hundreds of "welcoming messages." I have a lot of posts in a short time, and a whole hell of a lot of them were to people we (sadly) saw only a few times, or sometimes only once! And yet that first message can make all the difference, as Lila points out. I hope RJ thinks about a way to set something up to make the welcoming "function" something that always happens, and happens well.

wip

[Ripple]

For WIP

Hello Wipp its Ripp .. checking in on you. Please change your avatar ... it looks like a tile floor.. no need to feel walked on anymore. Ripp that floor up and replace with something smiley!!! :l

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[spottydingo]

For WIP

retteacher;490422 wrote: WIP: As far as welcoming newcomers: I think newbies will find what's right for them. Newbies are free to explore, ask questions, get acquainted, etc. If they are motivated to be AF or mod, they'll find their way here or to other threads that suit their needs. It's not your or my job to welcome & orient newcomers. People who are motivated will stay & learn, & people who aren't won't. To me, it's codependent to coddle newcomers too much.

Wip, I always noticed you took the time to welcome the newcomers (I think I was one of them!) and while its highly commendable and extremely generous, I agree with Mary. Have you ever read any of Julia Cameron's books (the Artist's Way, etc)? She talks about creativity as being something you have to feed, like your body; you can't just expend energy or creativity all the time without feeding it (she calls it Feeding the Well). I think this applies to our emotional lives as well. You're obviously a giver but you need to temper that with some feeding. Does that make sense? I can see giving to newbies as being draining as many times you don't get much back, and downright hurtful if what you get back is mean-spirited. I hope this makes sense!!! So, I understand and support your decision to mod on here.

Are there actually moderators? I have never noticed anyone. On other chat groups I've always seen many posts by moderators, but not here.

Thanks for coming back, I appreciate you.

cheers!