AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

[namaste]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Oh good lord, I mean I DO NOT miss getting through the day with a hangover....Geez! PPP Maybe my ego misses it! But I don't! yikes!

[Determinator]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Top of the Tuesday AB-friends near and far!!!!!

Beatle thanks for the start and the LOL

WIP! glad to see you here.

Namaste, not to worry....I know exactly how you feel.

it's been a wacky week and I've not had much time to devote to my beloved friends here, hopefully things ease off a bit. Must say I'm so happy to have a lot of business on this time of year as I know many are hurting for work. I'm quite grateful for that and know that I'd probably be without a job if I had continued down my path to self destruction.

ah...humility. a biggie that is often overlooked in our fast paced western lifestyles.

be well friends

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Hi everyone

Good to see you back WIP - interesting post about the quitting smoking - i've read this carefully, it can certainly be applied to alcohol or any other drug addiction and I found it very helpful- hope others do too.

Mary - you made a very interesting point about how you didn't really realise you had a problem until you started to read the posts on here and could relate to them. That's exactly how it was for me - couldn't believe I was reading all these posts on here that sounded exactly like my life! No-one sets out to be an alcoholic, it's a slippery slope, a downward spiral, happens slowly over time - faster for some people than others, but many people do not realise they are on it until they are well established problem drinkers or even until it's too late. I'm just so grateful that I realised in time. It's just like putting on weight - I remember reading somewhere (in a book on alcohol addiction I think) that if you went to bed with the body and energy of a gymnast and woke the next day looking like a sumo wrestler, you'd be horrified and devasated, yet for many people, fitness, weight gain etc changes just ever so slowly week by week, month by month until you are really unhealthy and have wrecked your body, but because it's a slow process you don't notice the changes and just accept it as part of getting older.

The only problem now I have is, I'm feeling so much better that I can't remember how rubbish I felt after daily drinking - and that is a bit dangerous. Those of you that are long term abstainers, how do you cope with this?

Have a good AF day everyone

[on my way]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

It raining and has been all day yuck! Went Christmas shopping with hubs this morning, he drives me nuts but were almost finished.

I have made it passed the 30 day mark yet again but plan to stay the course this time. I have my work party tonight, no drinks for me. I'm looking forward to seeing the guys make butts of themselves (they are good at it). The real truth is I am really looking forward to someone making me dinner for a change:H

I am really excited about the new year, the changes I have made in my life and where they both will take me. I am sure I will have this monkey on my back or the al shadow... what ever you want call it for life. I choose not to let it bother me or affect my life choices. Life is a lot easier with out al.

Better get back to work.

[charlee]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

WIP, thank you for the words regarding the smoking.....I have printed out the article and will keep it handy......I have never attempted to quit before, simply because I didn't want it bad enough. I knew when I took the AF plunge, I had to ask myself the same question...."Do you really want this?". If the answer was yes but only about 95%, I might as well keep drinking as eventually the 5% would grow stronger.

Sausage, One of the promises I made to myself at the beginning of this journey was that I never, never would forget how crappy I felt on a daily basis. As time passes the memories try to fade, but I won't let them.......I can't.....The memories are not pleasant, sometimes just disgust me, but that is who and where I was...a place I never want to be again.......

[AAthlete]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Sausage, I would say that long term you will never be able to remember the true pain and suffering of your last binge - those feelings dull over time and I don't think that can be helped.

To me, it is part and parcel with that whole focusing on today and not the past thing. If I am doing the things that I need to do to maintain a quality sobriety, i.e. talking about what I am feeling, putting others first in my life, practicing my daily meditation (or whatever is important to you) then I stand a good chance of making it through the CERTAIN trials and tribulations to come. Cause we all know they will happen at some point, right?

On the other hand, if I move away from those things and attempt to stay sober on 'cruise control,', then I am indeed on the way to may next drink. At least, I've proven that to be true to myself time and time again.

[retteacher]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

WIP: Many thanks for the article on quitting (anything). Now that I've quit drinking, I'm going to stay quit! When I gave in & lapsed way back last Spring, it's been incredibly difficult to get back into my forever program. The lapses qre chinks in the armor & makes regaining my committment so much more difficult. It won't happen this time. I'm determined to stay sober even if everyone else is drinking around me. Thank you so much. Mary

[retteacher]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

AA & Sausage: I must keep those awful memories in the forefront. Otherwise all that denial starts creeping in:
-"I wasn't so bad."
-"I never lost my job."
-"I never got arrested."
-etc.

I absolutely must remember (specifically) that normal drinkers do not:
-drink whole bottles of wine.
-sneak drinks.
etc.

Mary

[on my way]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Mary....to add to your list.

*plot and scheme trips to the store to get things I really need (not) and pick up a few bottles while there.
* forget things I promised to my kids and hubs
*forget phone calls I made
*not being able to see well enough to read to my babes
*Lying
*Going to stores out of town so nobody knows me
*Always having gum handy
*Isolating myself from family

I could go on and on

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Good points, Mary, AA, OMW, Charlee... as to Sausage's question... which is a VERY good one. We absolutely WILL forget, amazingly, the devastation that alcohol brought into our lives. And finding ways to effectively remind ourselves about how we really, truly behave around alcohol is so important. I loved the lists y'all posted, of cringe-worthy behaviors! Well, I didn't *love* the lists... but you know what I mean...

Another thing that comes to mind, Sausage, is that thing I posted a while back about the difference between Deprivation Mode and Gratitude Mode. For me, that's a huge mainstay of a long-term, forever, AF life. If I find myself thinking "Why can't I have a drink," I have to pay attention closely enough to notice that I have shifted into "Deprivation Mode," and that my mind is telling me that "having a drink" is a good thing that I seem to be unreasonably depriving myself of. At that point, I shift my focus into thinking about what I really, truly WANT for myself and my life: and that is, freedom from everything that alcohol has meant in my life, and freedom to have and do the things that are possible ONLY if I don't drink... I begin to think about how my non-drinking life looks, and remind myself of the reasons that I am grateful that I no longer put poison in my mouth and swallow it...

That post is somewhere in the "tool box" thread here on this forum...

[kaponium]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Hi there WIP, Mary AATh and ALLL !!

Excellent list and I could add to it adnauseum (unfortunately)

I have lost EVERYTHING in active addiction including SELF respect and my children, my liberty and at times my sanity.

I have ALL of these back today - and provided I do NOT under ANY circumstances pick up the FIRST drink, the is NO WAY that can EVER happen again.

Sounds pretty simple, but at times it is not easy. "The sense of ease and comfort" I get from taking a few drinks, drinks which "Others take with impunity" is REAL....but it ALWAYS leads to total MISERY - ALWAYS! (The caps are for my own benefit!!!) So vigilance very important, and self awareness.

Blessings all, check in again later

K X

[Evie.Lou]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Just read Hubby the JOKE Beatle....It really got him laughing.
Then he said ...I SAW THAT COMING, A MILE AWAY......NOTTTT
Made it all around the world without drinking.Yeahhhh
Wanted to buckle when Hubby had German Beer but still had a glass of tea from China and sucked on that instead.

[retteacher]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

I must remember the deprivation vs. gratitude dichotomy. I think I do operate out of the feeling that I'm "giving something up" instead of the gaining of health, happiness, & freedom.

I think I saw this on the Smart site that some people actually keep embarrassing tapes & photographs of themselves under the influence (drunk), so that they could have a visual reminder how bad they look when they think they might want a drink.

Again thank you all for all you've given me in terms of support. Mary

PS: I think I'll read the toolbox thread again. Tis the season.

[kaponium]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Yeah reteach - one thing I have on my fridge is a letter (if you can call it that) I tried to write to Vea whilst wasted last time. It is totally indecipherable. TOTALLY. And yet, it is sprawled across about half a page, and underneath it I have written "Lest I forget"...and a list of simple gratitudes for my sobriety today.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily, Tuesday, Dec. 9

Okay, just managed to add another gratitude to my list kap. Was driving home in the snow and when turning a corner hit some ice and smacked the curb pretty hard with the right tire. Still driveable but having some issues with the brakes - and of course German cars aren't know for being cheap to repair.

Have to remind myself that no one was hurt, the car doesn't appear to be damaged too bad, and it a material thing that can be fixed. I have to also remind myself that in the past I would have headed straight to the liquor store and grabbed a whole bunch of vodka to drown my sorrows with.

Oh well - life goes on. Guess I just found out what one of my Christmas presents is going to be! :H