AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

[AAthlete]

"...It is only when I forget my problems, and reach out to contribute something to others that I can begin to attain the serenity I seek."

Good morning everyone - hope your weekend is off to a wonderful start.

You know, I was just thinking yesterday how my Christmas spirit seems to come and go and it made me think of the above quote. God, it is so easy to get wrapped up in my own thoughts (problems as well as non-problems) and I think that when I start doing that too much, I start losing out on the Christmas spirit. I say that because I'll hear a Christmas song or see a Christmas movie and it will make me think of family and friends, and it is then that I can notice that I am not feeling the way that I want to be. Guess I need to remember what is important today and be grateful that now at least I can recognize it. Doesn't mean I will always be successful at changing, but it's progress not perfection right?

Off to Navy Pier today in Chicago with the family to see their Winter Wonderfest. Should be a good test of my patience as the place should be packed! Course if I remember my Christmas spirit then things should go okay..

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

I agree AA. I was almost thinking "Oh woe is me I guess I'll be alone on Christmas". But the more I thought about it, the more I was fine with it. I've got the whole weekend and I bet there are plenty of people who would like to spend time with their families so I'll volunteer at soup kitchens or animal shelters or such.

[Tiresias]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

It looks like maybe we had some cross-threading going on today ... Here's what DoggyGirl also started ....

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Doggygirl
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AF Daily - December 13

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OK, I will!

Happy AF Saturday to all. I am SO glad to be alcohol and hangover free today. Nothing else deep or meaningful comes to mind!

So I'll get back to figure skate, and some MEANINGFUL enjoyment of sequins an wedgies and stuff.

DG
__________________


I have to run out the door for a day of watching one of my son's play in a basketball tourney (tomorrow, too) -- probably 3 or 4 games today. Thanks to AA and Greeneyes, and DG for sending me out the door with some things to think about.

I actually do have some things to post about and share today, so I look forward to stopping back by later and checking on the thread and adding some things.

Hope you all have great days!

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Happy Saturday to all!! It is raining here in sunny (not today) CA...love it, as it finally feels like winter and Christmas time.

I don't have much to add to day, but I really love reading the posts around the board. I find that I no longer get caught up in the negative ones as I used to, but rather continue to gather useful information from others for my mental toolbox. So, for me, that is a good thing.

I hope everyone is enjoying the season and not getting too caught up in the stress's that we manage to impose on ourselves this time of year. I don't really "do" xmas myself, for many reasons, so no stress here.

R2C

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Happy Saturday ABenators near and far!!!

AAthlete, thank you for the inspiring kickstart. I've been in a rather philosophical mode driving all day yesterday from south Yosemite CA (in heavy fog) all the way back to Reno while listening to the audio book of 'a new Earth'. quite surreal at times.

so glad to be back home. yeah! as usual my coworkers tried to get me to join them in their drinking escapades but I don't take those jabs seriously anymore. I just reply with something like: hey, someone needs to set a good example around here! (and then I sip on my water).

I must say as a rather non traditionalist in the religion/holidays area it perhaps doesn't 'affect' me in the same way it does others. For Dx and I it's a time to stay close to home and not fly anywhere! airports get so nuts this time of year.

wow, the sun just popped up and lit up the snow all around us, a truly majestic sight.

have a wonderful day my friends and be well.

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

I just returned from a bike ride with hubby (during a break in the rain) and we rode to our downtown to do our banking. We live in a college town, and it was so sad to see the bars were open at 9:00 a.m. and the college students were milling around outside (obiviously enibriated) some complaining they had been "cut off" there and were going elsewhere. We just had a "hazing" here a week or so ago where a student died from alcohol poisoning...what are these kids thinking? Did his death not show them anything? I feel like such a hypocrite, and yet I wish I could tell them of the misery they will face down the road if they don't get this behaviour under control NOW!

I have witnessed on more than on holiday occasion, ambulances picking up drunk students from downtown, and this is in the morning hours, when I am out riding my bike. It is so sad...we all know from experience once we get one or two in us....there is sometimes no telling what we will do and how those choices will affect the rest of our lives.

Sorry to be on such a downer, but I felt this was important to share as a reminder. Isn't the term Holiday Cheer really an oxymoron when it comes to drinking during the holidays?

R2C

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Hi everyone, and AA I wish I could jump onto your thread starter, but somehow it eludes me today. I'm feeling pretty sad, even though I spent the morning crunching through my to-do list, and that usually brightens me up quite a bit. I need to visit my mother this weekend... have been putting it off... today is the last day of the estate sale at her house. Very odd thing; last night I had dinner with an old friend from grad school days. I was telling her about what's up with my mother, the sale, etc.; turns out she had gone to the estate sale, and bought a piece of jewelry that my mother had once given to me.... She had it in her purse, got it out and showed it to me...

Posting on Mack's thread, thinking about the impact of alcohol on our lives and our families, AND sorting through old pictures and letters from Mother's house, have stirred up all kinds of memories of many "family occasions" from the 50+ years that I am able to recall, including all Christmases in my memory, all of them including lots of drinking, and all the adults getting drunk.

And... do you think that, right now, just after lunch-time on this Saturday, I DON'T want to go to the liquor store, and buy a bottle of Glenfiddich, and get buzzed, and get maudlin, and get blitzed out of my mind? You'd be wrong... I do, in fact "want" to do exactly that. But I won't... I just will NOT do that. I'll get out of my sweats and into some jeans, get in the car, go do some errands. I'll get a cappuccino. I'll be OK and this will damn well pass.

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Good day, everyone!!

R2C, you bet, don't you wish someone would have told you? But then again, would you have listened? It is such a sad deal, isn't it?

WIP, I am sorry you are feeling down and in the mood to just get blitzed but you do know it will pass. Hang in there. It is always difficult for you to deal with your mom and her things. At least the estate sale will be done. Thinking of you.

Det, I can't imagine driving in heavy fog listening to Eckhart Tolle. I hope you and Dx have a wonderful weekend.

AA, Greenie, Tire and all to come, have a wonderful Saturday.

Sitting in the hotel room working, have been up since 3:30 a.m. and forgot to eat and then found out the kitchen closes in this hotel during the day!! Eating junk food from a machine. Ick.

But soon this will be done and I will be able to get some sleep.

Love,
Cindi

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

WIP, I understand why you are feeling the way your are.

Just remember that there is a difference between being melancholy and morbidly obsessing about how down you are feeling. IT IS OKAY to feel this way sometimes - you're human and it happens to everyone. As you point out, it is how we choose to deal with those feelings that make all the difference, right?

Cindi - sorry that you had issues sleeping. I'm guessing your still in Omaha so if you need a good home-cooked meal I can give the address of some relatives!

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Hi everyone

Quick check in from me, been really busy with Christmas preparations, no time for on line.

WIP - just wanted to say I am thinking of you, it must be so tough, stay strong.

Everyone, else, hope you're having a good AF day today - it's Saturday night and i'm here sipping an AF drink, - feels like a routine now! - wrapping Christmas prezzies. Still feeling motivated from my successsful Af lunch yesterday, will take each Christmas challenge as it comes, one day at a time!

Will check back later

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Thanks everyone, I am OK, went to visit Mother (otherwise I would have continued to let the dread of visiting her color the rest of the weekend). It was not a good visit, she issued a long tirade, and many demands and complaints. When I left, she came after me, trying to stop me, then banged on the front door.

So then, I went to my favorite grocery store, and did NOT buy whisky, but instead bought: salt, sugar, and fat (potato chips, and chocolate, and some fancy shelled pistachios). Now I'm going to watch a movie. Harm Reduction R Me.

Cindi, you're stuck in a hotel room in Tulsa, with junk food out of a machine??? Oh, gawd. That's a small glimpse of hell, isn't it? I'm sorry.

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

WIP,

It's Omaha, but still a small glimpse of hell, yes.

Glad you got the visit with your mom over and done with. Ouch.

Love pistacios. A Christmas tradition at my house is a big bowl of those and a big bowl of unshelled nuts. The kids make a mess but it wouldn't be Christmas without them.

Love,
Cindi

[momof3]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Good Afternoon Holiday Hooligans,

I went to a party last night after feeling a little anxious and wobbly just prior to. But, guess what? I had a great time and was one of the very few not drinking. The anticipation was the hardest part.

WIP, I've been thinking about you alot since you posted yesterday. I could feel your sadness. The situation with your mom is tough and sad and it becomes particularly hard during this time of year when we are all "supposed" to be jolly (f**k that).

I still experience an overwhelming sadness this time of year over my mom and dad's passing years ago, the experience of witnessing their deterioration, managing their health care, etc. I too was responsible for emptying out my childhood home. It is particularly hard for you because you do not have another family member or sibling to help you through all of this hard work and the tough decisions. Know that we all care for you here. Look what happened when you were gone for a couple of days? Take good care, be strong....You have it within you to not only get through this, but to grow greatly from it.

Cinders, Omaha, bad food, yuck. Couldn't it at least be sunshine and gourmet food. Anyone who travels as much as you certainly deserves that. I hope you are heading back to your own home and own bed soon. I wish you the best with the Sinclair method. It sounds very worthy of a try. I have witnessed you pain and struggle on this thread and know that you really want to stop.

R2C, Tiresias, DG, Charlee, Tom, Det, AA, Greeneyes, Beatle, Sausage, Brigid and others. I appreciate that you are here.

M3

[Tiresias]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

I just read (well, a few pages left) "The Measure of a Man" by Sidney Poitier. He is the actor who starred in "Lillies of the Field" and "To Sir, With Love," and others -- movies that I really took note of growing up, and movies that have had continuing significance to me as I've watched them again over the years. In the book Mr. Poitier reflects on his life and relates some of his memories, and shares his views about life. I admit he's sort of been a hero to me for the characters he's played, and he admits in the book that he read his press clippings a bit too much and too closely identified with his characters in accepting all the admiration of others. Although it is clear that he did select parts carefully and critically, and for the most part played roles consistent with his personal values.

It continues to surprise me how much I can get alcohol/recovery messages and themes out of most things I read -- from WWII books to fiction novels to children's books to classics such as Les Miserables and Ovid and Montaigne and on and on.

"The Measure of a Man" touches on many many things, from spiritual concepts and the importance of family and foundations, to the "pleasure principle" of modern consumerism and how "rich" he was in his youth when living in poverty.

In discussing the amazing story behind how "Lillies of the Field" came about, Mr. Poitier relates something akin to what AA addresses in the opening post -- about getting away from "self" ...:

"But when I focus beyond the self, the interference drops away and suddenly I have access to a much grander form of awareness. It includes what I see and what I don't see but know to exist -- even what will far outlast me as a physical being. I can begin to sense the connection of it all, and my place within it all, but only by removing myself from the center. ... And all of this is available to me when I sublimate the self -- as is the full saga of hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution and human experience. When I cling to the self, I feel neurotic, alienated, insecure. It's when I let the self go that I can begin to realize how fully a part of this grand scheme I am and will always remain."

That can so often be a difficult thing to do, because we have immediate needs, and immediate issues to address, and all of these things transpire and/or filter through our selves. But it does help, it seems to me, anyways, to try to step back and attempt a re-setting of my perspective about whatever unpleasantness or self-centered things I am dealing with. Focus on others and the bigger picture if possible.

WIP -- you have been under a very heavy burden with the tasks and things required of you in handling matters for your Mother. As AA noted, you are human and such feelings of sadness and anxiety are natural and bound to just be. But do consider that along with the unpleasant feelings and dreaded tasks -- you are fulfulling a larger purpose, and doing so with dignity, and consistent with and within your value system. Things weren't going to get done without you. Or they certainly would not have been done as well, or with the care and concern you've included. Anyway -- good for you. And the physical parts of that project are almost over. Perhaps the relief on that end of things will drift over to your emotions, as well?

Thanks also to the rest of you, as I always get something from reading here.

Oh, and there was one thing in the book that REALLY jumped out at me.... When relating some of the story-line and concepts portrayed in "To Sir, With Love," Mr. Poitier writes:

"You don't have to become something you're not to be better than you were."

Wow. That just hit me right in the gut. For a long long time, I had this inner notion that if I moved on without alcohol, I was going to change the basic core of who I was -- someone who had been mostly successful in what I'd done in life so far, someone who had a certain "personality" in social settings, and was a fun-loving live-life-to-the-fullest kind of guy, and so on. Leaving alcohol behind would be like getting a lobotomy or cutting an arm off. Well, a couple of things .... I needed to change some things, some perspectives, some habits, some bad thinking and poor judgment... and, I don't have to become something I'm not to be better than I was.

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Saturday December 13th

Mary...I'm not sure if you have read this...I just hope and pray your dinner went well last nite. Please check in when you can and let us know how you are doing. I am praying for you.

R2C