Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

[Determinator]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

zoom zoom....gotta get on the road and drive back to Reno before another storm blows in.

had a great night with MWO member Morrison last night!

be well everyone! I'll be back later

[A Work in Progress]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Be careful, Det!

And I hope you are home (safely) soon, Cindi!

[ready2change]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Morning all Abbers...don't want to start the day on a downer, but want to remind everyone, especially at this time of year, what can happen when we drink and drive. This story is unbelievable in that this man has had several previous alcohol related arrests, and now he kills someone and the max he might get is 8yrs? He obviously never learned anything from his previous arrests. It amazes me that he was still "out there" with the strict DUI laws here in CA.


A

Morro Bay man who pleaded not guilty Wednesday to killing an 86-year-old man while driving drunk has a history of alcohol-related offenses that includes three DUIs, court records showed.

Donald Souza, 50, pleaded not guilty to felony gross vehicular manslaughter while intoxicated, driving while under the influence of alcohol, DUI with 0.08 percent blood alcohol level or higher, driving on a license suspended or revoked from a DUI and two enhancements for inflicting great bodily injury on a person 70 years of age or older, according to court records. He faces a maximum of eight years in prison if convicted.

Souza is being held at County Jail on $100,000 bail and is scheduled to return to court Monday for a pretrial hearing.

He was heading south on Highway 1 near Toro Creek Road close to Morro Bay about 6 p. m. Friday in an SUV when he struck a Toyota Avalon driven by Norman Sage of Cayucos, who was heading north, CHP officials said.

Souza was attempting to

turn left onto Toro Creek when he crossed Sage?s path, CHP officials said.

Sage was taken to Sierra Vista Regional Medical Center, where he died.

A search of local court records shows Souza had been cited for being drunk in public in 1987, 2004 and 2007; was convicted of DUI in 1991 and 1995; and was convicted of a DUI, carrying a loaded firearm and having an open container in 1988. He was also cited for disturbing the peace in 1989.

Have a safe day everyone...

R2C

[retteacher]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Control: I must say that I've been called "the queen of control" a few times by my loved ones. I think that trying to control my environment (even down to the smallest detail) is the way I feel most comfortable in my own skin. I've worked on this in Alanon...letting go of control & have made progress.
-I've pretty much given up on trying to make my husb over.
-I've given my son back his life & don't give him the 3rd degree every time he calls.
-I've resigned myself to my parents doing what they think they should do w/their lives.

When I have a dinner party or event, do I plan it down to the details? Yes, but I do try to let go of the outcome. I've finally realized that life is spontaneous & unexpected things happen. I think being such a large part of my g-sons' lives has taught me some real lessons in spontaneity.

For me, a controlling person, I felt that drinking was the one activity that allowed me to give up control. I'm now finding ways to do that wo/AL. "Going with the flow" is not in my nature. I'm a doer & planner.

I was actually sick in bed for 2 days over the weekend & into Mon. I was amazed at how unhinged everyone got. My husb seemed disoriented wo/my constant direction. Even my daughter seemed a little out of it...missing our daily contact. I tell myself that I don't have to be needed. That puts a dangerous pressure on me...dangerous in the sense that it can push me into drinking.

Anyhow, I'm pretty much back to my old routine, but I know that control is something that is going to be a lifelong struggle for me. The dilemma:
-What is being controlling?
vs
-What is just sensible planning & hard work?

There is a line that I sometimes cross.

Mary

[Tiresias]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Howdy all.

I used to carry the control twins around inside of me. "Out of" and "No."

I'm very familiar with the passage from the Big Book quoted by AA, and the concept of "driving your own bus" and the need to "let go" of the steering wheel to have some peace.

Which, of course, demonstrates the pure simplicity and wisdom of the Serenity Prayer, which is powerful whether you are active in AA, or whether you believe in a God or a Higher Power, or a shared consciousness of understanding, or whatever.



God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

[Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.]

Of course each element of the prayer leans just enough on the others, and often the "wisdom" to know the difference can be very elusive despite loads of trial and error life experiences and such. So it's not always simple, and can rather be a complex endeavor. But that's life, and the living is in the very endeavor itself (of which you each appear to be fully and sincerely engaged).

Best to each of you today as you face whatever control demons reside within, as you forge ahead with life's journeys (internal and actual travel), as you battle both inclement and wonderful weather, as you strive to stay or get home.

[retteacher]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Tiresias: I love the Serenity Prayer. It's spiritual wo/belonging to a religion. Yes, the "wisdom" aspect of it can be tricky, but I think if I give myself enough time to think, I can figure it out for each situation. I have to avoid rushing in the fix, coerce, find a solution, etc. before I've had time to ponder. Sometimes the best route is to do nothing...not easy for me. Mary

[Tiresias]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

retteacher;498104 wrote: Tiresias: I love the Serenity Prayer. It's spiritual wo/belonging to a religion. Yes, the "wisdom" aspect of it can be tricky, but I think if I give myself enough time to think, I can figure it out for each situation. I have to avoid rushing in the fix, coerce, find a solution, etc. before I've had time to ponder. Sometimes the best route is to do nothing...not easy for me. Mary

Ah, but there is much wisdom in that! Often the most difficult endeavor, the hardest work, is done within oneself, and results in "doing" nothing.

And when that is the case too often, then I have to worry about the momentum of the couch ....

[AAthlete]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

retteacher;498104 wrote: Tiresias: I love the Serenity Prayer. It's spiritual wo/belonging to a religion.....

I would second this (or third it, whichever one is correct)! I actually use this whenever somebody or something starts getting to me - five deep cleansing breaths and the serenity prayer and I usually am in a better position mentally then when I started.

[cyclefan]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

I just want to say how much I enjoy reading this thread each day and to thank each of you for your always insightful and encouraging remarks.

[on my way]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Me too on the prayer. I actually looked into AA meetings in a bigger town away from mine. Might do it as a new year resolution....a little maintenance can't hurt.

[retteacher]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

OMW: I like AA & Alanon meetings. They take anonymity pretty seriously. It's one of the foundations of the program. If you happen to see someone you know at a meeting, it probably won't leave the meeting...nothing is 100% certain.

Cyclefan: Feel free to share here whenever the spirit moves you. It is a wonderful thread.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Daily AF Thread - Thursday December 18

Just wanted to pop in a note for Cyclefan to say welcome to AF-Land! It's great to hear that you get something out of the daily threads. I hope you will jump in and participate!

I gave a lot more thought to Thursday's subject of control. I think I have more issues with that than I realized. Mary, I could really relate to what you said about the line between planning & hard work that is normal and necessary v. crossing that line into a place where we are trying to control the uncontrollable. Anyway, off to the Friday thread but just wanted to thank everyone for these insights yesterday.

DG