AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

[Doggygirl]

Marking and running....

DG

Happy Tuesday to all of AF-Land! I've got lots I want to get accomplished today, so I'm very happy to be unhung. One more Christmas event to go on Christmas day with my family, then Mr. Doggy and I can just RELAX for New Years. YEAH!! I'm going to make a blueberry sugar free cheesecake today as my "anti-Christmas" dessert for Christmas day. I'm getting burned out on chocolate and pumpkin and red / green ingredients. So we're goin' blue.

I suspect my parents have noticed that I haven't been drinking any alcohol - hard to NOT notice considering the volume I used to put away. But I haven't come right out and said "I have quit" (not that I wouldn't say it with them - just hasn't come up anywhere close in conversation). It's actually probably a good thing I haven't told them, because my Mom usually makes a hot spiced wine drink that they really like on this one day every year. If I had said I quit drinking they probably wouldn't make it, and that would be silly for them to skip their own tradition because of me. So I will go in assuming the hot spiced wine will be there, and possibly some other bottles of wine that I will turn down. As I did with the in-law family get together, I will bring my own cache of beverages like my favorite odd ball flavors of diet soda and some odd ball flavored teas or something.

This weather is really crazy! The high yesterday was about 11 degrees. Now the temps are going on an upward trend and the high Saturday is forecasted at 45 degrees. Wow. It's hard to get dressed in the morning LOL!

Well, not much else to say today (so far anyway ) other than I'm glad to be sober and hangover free, and I'm grateful to all my friends here. I hope everyone is having a good one! I'm off to Curves.

DG

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Doggy: I keep wondering if your friends whom you haven't seen for a while are blown away by your transformation.

I'm on my way out to my g-son's class. I'll check back later. Mary

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Good morning, all. DG, interesting about your folks... How do you expect they would respond (other than not making the special wine drink!) if you told them? Would it help you in any way to tell them that you don't drink any more?

In most cases, we tend to assume it helps to tell our families that we no longer drink... but certainly not always. It was of zero assistance for me to tell my parents, because they were both alcoholics, and my mother just wanted me to drink with her. My father was not like that; he would have liked to have been supportive, but he was really too impaired. Not long before he killed himself, he did try AA for a while... but my mother badgered and ridiculed him out of it... I wish he'd had the strength to leave her, but he just didn't. She's (still) a very strong-willed and controlling person.

Well that's not a very upbeat entry for this festive season... sorry. I'm having lunch with a friend today; tomorrow I will take my mother out to Macy's so she can look around at Christmas stuff, and shop a bit (today I have a caregiver taking her out); and then there will be Christmas at the dementia facility, and after that, I will go home and crash and be extremely grateful that it is over. I'm invited to go to several friends' houses but believe I will decline. Just not into Christmas, and do not want to try to force it. BUT, certainly, I will NOT be drinking!

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Hi everyone

Yes DG I was wondering that too - I mean people must comment because you look SO different - and have you continued to lose weight and change since the end of Oct photos?

Day 51 for me today in my latest AF stint - have worked out that day 53/54 (the point that I caved last time ) is Christmas Day / Boxing DAy, so this makes me very anxious!!!

Will check back in later

Sausage

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Hi, Friends.

I am sitting here with shaking hands and broken spirit.

Yes, I did and do it to myself. I know.

I am scared. I am so very afraid. I am thinking long term rehab is my only option and my only hope.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Ah, the holidays! They certainly are NOT like the Hallmark cards. We keep ours pretty low-key. My daughter's mother-in-law invites us to her home each Christmas Eve, & we always decline. We only went once. It was a total drink-fest & no fun even for me who was drinking heavily at the time.

Christmas day is spent w/our g-kids. As for Christmas Eve, we do something very low-key. Sometimes a movie & out for Chinese food. Sometimes a simple dinner w/friends that don't have family obligations.

As I said, we declined the New Year's Eve party. Even mod drinkers tend to overdo that night.

No alcohol for me! Mary

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Cindi: We cross-posted. I'm so sorry. You'll know what you have to do. Take today just to heal yourself in mind, body, & spirit. I'm going to say a prayer for you. Mary

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Good morning everyone. Thanks for all the care and support yesterday--all those cyber hugs and prayers really help. I was bitchy and sad most of the day. I lit a candle in memory of my mom. Today is my big sister's birthday. I know this time is hard for her as well.
Anyway--I'm having just a little trouble with too much time on my hands! There are lots of projects I could start, but it just doesn't seem like the right time to be doing that! I think I might go shopping today, even though I said I was done. That is the trouble with doing everything early I guess! I also already need a little time away from my kids as they are already fighting and driving me nuts!
No plans except Church on Christmas eve, and this bothers me also. We have been invited to a friend's house, but it just seem weird that tradition is broken. Usually we have my MIL pver for traditional chili and oyster soup--but she is going to sis in laws, which is where they want us to be, but I put my foot down telling them the kids would like to open their presents at their own home and see what Santa brings! I guess I'm a little attached to tradition.
I need to find more work too. I've been doing bookkeeping for a couple of clients, but it's not enough. I thought word would get out and I'd have some more business, but I might have to promote myself a little more. Hmmm.
Hubby (who has not been drinking his usual 12 pack nightly) came home yesterday and wanted to know where the alcohol was. He mixed 3 light whiskey drinks which put me in a really bad mood for awhile. Not sure what his reasoning is, didn't ask.
I'll stop rambling for now to get ready to go shopping.
Have a good day everyone!:h

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Cindi--
I cross posted as well. I'm so sorry you struggle so. I'll say a prayer as well. I'll pray that you find an answer about rehab. Hang in there, we love you! :l

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Oh, Cindi, I am so sorry. Forgive me, but is antabuse not working for you any more? I know you were hoping that naltrexone would be helpful... but sounds as if it isn't enough... you are not alone, many people have found naltrexone to not be really all that helpful with alcohol addiction...

What can we do to help?

[momof3]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Good Morning All,

Today is my last day with my mother-in-law...thank goodness. I injured my back yesterday and have been in considerable pain. She offerred me wine last night even though I said I am not drinking. Later in the evening she poured me a glass of wine and put it under my nose. I think she wanted a drinking buddy. No thank you.

Off for our next stop to be with friends for Christmas. It should be much better and I hope my back starts to heal.

My girls are doing great...they are so excited and happy. They played in the snow most of the day yesterday even though the wind chill was -3. They are existing on too much sugar and little sleep. I was thinking yesterday that all of their holiday memories are happy ones. Do you remember that there was a time?

Cindi, I am thinking of you. I know you are committed to doing what it takes to be AF.

Warm Wishes to all of you.
Be well,
M3

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Morning all!

Hugs to you Cindi. I am so sorry you are struggling right now. I know you will overcome last night, pick yourself up, and move along. No doubt in my mind. :l

It is freezing here! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! I shoveled the driveway again yesterday, and the back deck. I am friggen sore! No snow last night, but freezing temps brought about a lot of ice on the road. It is really cold this morning and taking my nana's dog out for a walk; well I couldn't feel my toes and my jeans felt like they were frozen to my legs when I got back. I am so fortunate that I don't live in Alberta or the rest of the Country as a matter of fact! Why people live there is beyond me.

Anyway another 20cm coming tonight and then some more tomorrow. I shall be buff once this weather is done. I weighed myself and I have gained 4lbs of muscle! :H (suuuure... I wish).

Have a great day everyone. I am going to do some more of nothing for the moment.

[on my way]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Cindi, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time, big hugs coming south to you. nat

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Happy Tuesday ABadingos!

Cindi, XXXXX standing offer to call me anytime you know. I'm also curious about the naltrexone experiment...maybe your doc can increase the dosage in combination with antabuse? There are IOP's (intensive outpatient programs) in most cities...I know you don't have the time but it beats relapsing. Huge props to you for immediately coming back here....I know how freaking hard it is hon.

gotta finish some work, be back soon I hope....

be well friends

[brittzak]

AF Daily - Tuesday December 23

Every year at Christmas we adopt a family at work...this year out family is a woman with 4 children...actually 3 ...she just had a baby but gave her newborn up for adoption. She has a 8 yr old, 2 year old, and 15 month old...all girls...her husband while she was pregnant just up and lef ther...he was the sole provider...AND tells her he is homosexual, so there is no working this out. She has been looking for work, but having never worked, it is not easy. She can not afford her children, so after Christmas she is adopting out her 2 yr old and 15 month old to give them a chance at a better life....she will keep her 8 yr old as she knows she would live in foster care and it would crush the little girl...she is gonna do the best to care for. Her story just BREAKS my heart. I don't normally get to know our family, but I have this year and she is truly a good person she just has been hit hard by life. She loves her children and is a good Mom she simply can not feed them!!! We have been helping them along the way until the adoptions happen. She is just heart broken but is trying to do what is right for her children. My point is sharing the story.....is he story sure made me appreciate my life this year. I have had some curve balls BUT nothing like this...it could be SO MUCH worse. I get to kiss my babies every night and for that I am very grateful....I shared this today in subs and wantd to share here too as I know you may not read there. Getting to know this family this holiday season has really made me appreciate the family I DO have and the gifts and life God has given me. I don't feel I am FIGHTING so hard anymore.

Cindy, I am praying for you. I KNOW IP rehab scares any one of us. When we went to Lenair we both said....if this doesnt work..we have TRULY tried it all...... Get whatever help you need. Your life means so very much and your family loves you...I love you. Do what ever you need to beat this beast and if that is IP rehab, go for it. I know you can beat this. You are a strong woman.