AF Daily - Tuesday December 23
I need someplace to vent! I don't know where else to do this. I don't want to hijack a perfectly good thread, but there will be a new one tomorrow so I don't think anyone will mind.
Amazing how fast things can go to shit. I know now why I feel a little apprehensive when I start feeling good and happy. Had a perfectly good day which rapidly fell apart when hubby and I had a little conflict. He had been on a good deed mission. When he came home he was in a "funny" mood. Sometimes he makes cracks about the cleanliness of the house--and if I take offense--he is just kidding. When he did this tonight, I didn't do anything, didn't get excited when I told him, Yes, I had washed those windows before, and left the room. It did hurt my feelings, but it wasn't worth getting into it. He hates it when I walk away from him or shut a door on him. Evidently he overheard my son ask why we were in separate rooms--went in the bedroom and shut the door. I decided to buck up and try to talk to him. Told him I knew he didn't like it when I walked away, but felt it was better than over reacting to what he said. He said it was no big deal, I said good, it didn't need to be, but it was obvious he was upset still. When I pressed on he said "I had a couple of beers and I know that always makes you mad." Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it. I did wonder if he had been into some hard alcohol because he was acting so weird--but I wasn't mad about that. Then he brought up how much it had bothered me when he had the whisky drinks last night....Anyway, the conversation was just ridiculous. I am so hurt and angry I just want to leave! Here it is Christmas, and I thought everything was going so well. I don't want to be around him. I'm tired of trying so hard to be a better person, and when I think my happiness is showing--that's a bad thing. He thinks my happiness revolves around whether he has a couple of drinks?? I wasn't suppose to miss a beat when he asked me where the alcohol was, when he usually only drinks beer? Fuck him!
I need someplace to vent! I don't know where else to do this. I don't want to hijack a perfectly good thread, but there will be a new one tomorrow so I don't think anyone will mind.
Amazing how fast things can go to shit. I know now why I feel a little apprehensive when I start feeling good and happy. Had a perfectly good day which rapidly fell apart when hubby and I had a little conflict. He had been on a good deed mission. When he came home he was in a "funny" mood. Sometimes he makes cracks about the cleanliness of the house--and if I take offense--he is just kidding. When he did this tonight, I didn't do anything, didn't get excited when I told him, Yes, I had washed those windows before, and left the room. It did hurt my feelings, but it wasn't worth getting into it. He hates it when I walk away from him or shut a door on him. Evidently he overheard my son ask why we were in separate rooms--went in the bedroom and shut the door. I decided to buck up and try to talk to him. Told him I knew he didn't like it when I walked away, but felt it was better than over reacting to what he said. He said it was no big deal, I said good, it didn't need to be, but it was obvious he was upset still. When I pressed on he said "I had a couple of beers and I know that always makes you mad." Honestly, I hadn't even thought about it. I did wonder if he had been into some hard alcohol because he was acting so weird--but I wasn't mad about that. Then he brought up how much it had bothered me when he had the whisky drinks last night....Anyway, the conversation was just ridiculous. I am so hurt and angry I just want to leave! Here it is Christmas, and I thought everything was going so well. I don't want to be around him. I'm tired of trying so hard to be a better person, and when I think my happiness is showing--that's a bad thing. He thinks my happiness revolves around whether he has a couple of drinks?? I wasn't suppose to miss a beat when he asked me where the alcohol was, when he usually only drinks beer? Fuck him!
ray:
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