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AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

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    #16
    AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

    Doggygirl;507429 wrote:
    How have your perceptions changed about what is "fun" and what is "boring" (or unfun?) since being alcohol free? How has this changed over your alcohol free time? (i.e. what you thought in the first month or few months and for those with longer sobriety than that, how it changed if at all, with more sober time)...

    We were joking yesterday about how finding "fun" in these things made us seem "old" but I'm beginning to wonder if that perception doesn't have something to do with AL. Did we justify some of our drinking behavior with mental images of drinking / partying = youthful, and not drinking / (insert activity here) = "old?"
    Great topic! I was thinking yesterday about this, too, and it took me off into a slightly different direction. There are entire cultures in which nobody drinks, or they might drink very little, and yet they (at all ages!) manage perfectly well to have a lot of fun. I am not sure how drinking became so firmly embedded into our cultural expectations and beliefs about "having fun." We'd have to find a sociologist or cultural anthropologist, maybe, for that question; but it certainly is a major example of distorted thinking, and one that has contributed hugely to human suffering....

    Someone started a nice thread here a few days about the fear that many have about the idea of "never drinking again." The belief that "no drinking" = "no fun ever again" is certainly a significant contributor to that fear, and it is simply tragic, because it plays a role in many relapses... which lead to stunted lives and premature death for so many.

    Last night I played some Wii games with a very cool 10-year-old girl, the daughter of a good friend; and we introduced it to her 92-year-old grandfather, too. We all had dinner, sat around talking about our past years and this new one; we played a crazy board game... We had a blast, and none of us were drinking. And drinking would certainly not have made it any more fun.

    It seems to be a sad truth that in a culture like ours, that is so awash in distorted beliefs about the value of alcohol, we have to work very hard to disentangle ourselves not only from the biochemical and genetic drives that we (alcohol-dependent people) have, that create our terrible thirst and habit for alcohol, but also from a set of false beliefs that are forced down our throats from every direction... most of all, from our own minds.

    Once having done that, and only then, we can begin to see clearly that life itself, without alcohol, can be truly wonderful... sometimes painful, sometimes joyful, sometimes boring, sometimes a lot of fun... but always a great gift.

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      #17
      AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

      Well made my own personal goal of coming into the new year with my af days from last year and I MADE IT!!!!! I am so pleased with myself. Many times I thought just start the first of the year but instead I am starting the first of the year af with 75 days under my belt. So happy and dang it was so hard to get going this time around I must stay on this track.
      Gabby :flower:

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        #18
        AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

        DG, Replace the word booze in the slogan "Things go better with Coke". That was me. I remember going furniture shopping with estranged one (who has recently taken on credit for my improvements in self :H) and I took a cooler of beer and wondered aloud if others did something similar. I did marvel at having a good AF or probably mod time with people, like games at my sister's after dinner, but never knew how to initiate it myself. One of the things I plan to do this year is buy a few games and arrange get togethers with friends.

        Sunday I went to the movies (maitnee) with 2 GF and afterwards one suggested we do something. I made a mental note that even after 6 months I could only think of going for a drink. We had coffee sitting outside chatting and laughing, but it took someone else to think of it. I guess there's a little brain training for me to do.

        BTW, it is considered good luck if "jackrabbit" is your first utterance of the first day of the month and double luck on New Year's Day.
        sigpic
        Thoughts become things..... choose the good ones. ~TUT

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          #19
          AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

          greeneyes;507475 wrote: I made a mental note that even after 6 months I could only think of going for a drink.
          I still have a mental "default" like this.

          And I still have to think about social events in advance to see whether I'll be able to "handle" them AF.

          The only reason I could go out revelling (!) last night on such a party night was because I was with one of my oldest friends (who doesn't drink) and other friends who drink "normally" - and in fact no one had more than a couple of beers I don't think - and knew I'd be under no pressure whatsoever to "just have one". But, of course, most of the pressure comes from my own head, not from other people anyway.

          Still pondering this topic, but what I DO know already is that - most of the time - I feel a great strength and confidence in being sober that I never felt when I was drinking. It's just sometimes a challenge to remember that.
          sigpic
          AF since December 22nd 2008
          Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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            #20
            AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

            Jackrabbit!! Alrighty, bring on the good luck!

            I too echo the sentiment of thankfulness in finding MWO in 2008. I look forward to more personal growth and handling my triggers (anger, agitation and frustration). You have all help me know myself better this past year. Thanks.

            AA, ask a hard core runner in your club what the deal is with the Chicago marathon, are they really considering not having it cause of bank of Americas troubles? Thanks in advance.

            Gotta run, the natletts are having a scooter derby, it’s getting a bit out of hand.
            Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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              #21
              AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

              Woke up this mornign hang-over free and THOUGHT man.....am I GLAD and MAN do I feel sorry for people across the workld today, BUT MAN I sure am glad it is them and NOT me!!!!! I got up...kissed both my kids on foreheads....fed all the animals....got ready for work and came in. HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY....I am today! We grilled lastnight, had fireworks, kids and I even toasted with sparkly juice at 12...they were both SO HAPPY and so am I. Life is just GOOD...it is just DAMN GOOD! In 2009 I am going to make things happen instead of sitting back and letting life happen to me.....and wondering what the hell it was cause I was to drunk to remember it or to sick to care.
              Happy New Year everyone!
              Forever loved, forever missed Papa Bear

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                #22
                AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                Interestingly, I did not start drinking until I started working. I am a tax consultant and alot of what we do is entertaining our clients/staff. Thus, take a client out - drink wine. Take out your staff - drink wine. Attend naional trainings - drink wine. It just became a part of what I did for work and then it became a part of what I did in my time outside of work. I remember thinking when I was pregnant with my first child, "gosh, I can't wait to get back to a normal daily routine (i.e. three, four, five and sometimes six glasses of wine a night to wind down)." At what point did this become ANYONE's NORMAL daily routine? Alcohol had clearly affected my perception of what was normal - and it happened as gradually as gaining weight and then one day getting on the scale and asking yourself - when did I gain 15 pounds!!! So, my point is that I equate alcohol with work and pleasure - what is the saying "work hard and play hard." Funny, alcohol is no where in that saying but I assumed whomever started the saying must have accidentally left it out! LOL!

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                  #23
                  AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                  AAthlete;507446 wrote: I always thought I could control and enjoy my drinking, despite my repeated failed attempts (over years) to do so. Would be the same thing on New Year's EVe for me - I might as well get good and lit up because this time my attempt to quit will be different. It truly is a mindset change and wishful thinking just won't get it done.
                  Wow that sounds so familiar !!

                  I'm watching the Rose Parade, and I just saw the cutest thing, an English Bull Dog on a skate board, on one of those big floats. HOW CUTE!!

                  kit
                  AF since 12/11/2008 :ranger c:
                  Today well lived makes every yesterday a dream !:catroll:

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                    #24
                    AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                    Check out the Bull Dog http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWjWZZxKkiU[/video]]YouTube - Natural Balance Pet Foods® - Skateboarding Dogs & Pasadena Rose Parade® Float'
                    AF since 12/11/2008 :ranger c:
                    Today well lived makes every yesterday a dream !:catroll:

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                      #25
                      AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                      I just read this whole thread all the way through. Great stuff...food for thought! As far as fun=AL. Yes, I definitely thought along those lines. I didn't know there was any other way to socialize. If I was having a dinner here, once I had the dinner under control, I'd really drink to relax myself. Of course, I now know that it doesn't work that way. Once a single drop goes into my system, the obssession sets in:
                      -how much can I drink?
                      -when can I have my next one?
                      -am I hiding it well?
                      -etc.

                      Is that fun? No way.

                      The (quite a few) social times I've had sober (since joining MWO) have been infinitely more fun. I'm present, I'm clear, & I'm feeling my feelings.

                      Thank you all for being here.

                      Mary
                      Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                      October 3, 2012

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                        #26
                        AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                        Tom, you are so right, its great to wake up NEW YEARS day without a hangover and I couldn't of done it without the support of this group. Last Night while all my friends that we dined with drank, I enjoyed hot tea and offered to be the designated driver. Didn't even indulge in a Baileys and Coffee Best of all - I actually woke up and went to the gym to start working on the pounds that I put on over the holidays.
                        Here's to an AF 2009.
                        PS Way to go Auntie, some lucky kitty is waiting for you to take it home and love it!
                        DLW
                        Sobriety since October 2008 ( with a few bumps in the road ) - but I am still here, strong and fighting every day for my sobriety!
                        And every day is a challenge - But I am WINNING so far!



                        • Yesterday is History
                          Today is a Mystery
                          Tomorrow is a GIFT

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                          #27
                          AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                          WOW! Does it ever feel so bloody fantastic to wake up feeling refreshed and alive!

                          I don't have much to say this morning except I feel great! I am about to take my nana's dog for a long walk. It snowed at some point in the wee morning and the roads are slushy. I don't want her to fall. Plus it is great exercise and invigorating for me.

                          My task for today is to organized the basement and crush down the boxes that have been accumulating down there.

                          Have a great day everyone!!

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                            #28
                            AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                            Wow! So many different ways that we chose to have alcohol free New Years Eve!!! Absolutely every one of these ways sounds absolutely perfect to me! I did watch the Ball in NYC drop down, on CNN....Lucky for me it was only 10PM my time!! We then went off to bed for a blissful nights sleep....woke up early and started to bake for todays celebration with family!:h

                            Wishing everyone "Your Best Year Ever"!!!:l

                            We have come a long way, my friends.....OH! Yes, we have!!

                            xxx Kate
                            A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                            AF 12/6/2007

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                              #29
                              AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                              I'm back....

                              I'm here to sign up for another 30 days. Good to see everyone doing so well.

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                                #30
                                AF Daily Thursday January 1 2009!!!

                                Mo, glad to see you!!
                                Was an alcoholic yesterday, an alcoholic today and will still be an alcoholic tomorrow..... but I'm in charge now!

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