AF Daily - Saturday January 3

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Hey Everyone: I'm having a small dinner here, & while I was out exercising the dog, I got a pretty strong craving. I think it's a conditioned response to preparing a dinner & waiting til the guests come. I'm going to read around this forum & a Smart toolbox that I've saved. I think I just needed to say it "out loud." Mary

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Hi all

Been a typical saturday really - did get to the gym this am, been shopping with the kids this afternoon. When bathing them this evening I got a really strong craving for a glass of wine - thought "why can't I just sit down now with one glass after this, it is Saturday, - may be I can moderate!?!" but I know I can't, I know i'll be back to square on - so i've ignored it and am drinking Af grape juice.

Will check back later - have a good day everyone

[Miss Behaving]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Morning all,

Uncle Mame away for the day, and not a lot on the agenda, so I have been able to spend a good hour reading and thinking which is a bit of a treat! Kittens on my lap and I'm still in my dressing gown, so all is well in this house!!

Cherbear - welcome back!! I'm in a similar place to you, but very committed to an AF 2009. I know all too well the cycle of determination/giving in/feeling ashamed and embarrassed/making new resolutions ...... I am just so grateful for those on this thread that have supported me through that.

Mary - so good that you posted that and I know that feeling of just needing to "voice" something. Hope your dinner goes well and I'm sure it will. I picture you in my mind as a very gracious hostess!!

Cindi - had no idea that you were going through all of that worry. I'm so pleased that everything has turned out okay.

Determinator;509283 wrote: If anything my resolve has not been shaken (or stirred LOL). I'm AF. proud and happy to live that way.

:H:H Loved that Det - particularly as I'm re- reading all the Ian Fleming books in order!!

DG - weight maintenance (expletive!) One of the things I did while cleaning out the garage was sort out a whole lot of photos. One of the things that struck me was how skinny I was from about 1986 - 1991. (This is in the context of having been an overweight child and teenager, but having got into running long distance in my mid 20s in the mid-1980s). I got to my Weight Watchers "goal weight", which I managed to stay on for about 3 weeks at the end of 1986, but I had to practically starve myself to do it. The relevance of this is that I distinctly remember for the next 5 years feeling like I was still overweight and had more weight to lose and beating myself up for not being able to do it .... and it just led me into feeling like a failure instead of enjoying the body I had (and looking at the photos, I'd really love to have it back!!!)

Anyway, what I wanted to say is that I don't think you should be scared of the maintenance programme. You are looking fantastic and are eating healthily and getting lots of exercise. Don't let a particular weight become a "be-all-and-end-all". Maintenance is nothing more than what you are already doing, and you have already proved how successful you are at that!

Hope you had a sandwich!!

R2C - been reading my alkie books too - my favourite is "A Woman's Way through the Twelve Steps" ..... I'm not an AA person, but I really like that one.

I've never heard of a smoker, but I am about to search the internet for NZ suppliers!! My best taste sensation ever was catching a salmon (personally like, on a rod!), having it smoked at the salmon farm I caught it at, and eating it less than an hour after it was caught.

WIP - the "wine at mass" is an interesting issue and the one on which I eventually parted company with AA (I was an active Catholic at that point). Meaning has relevance - and I guess this has relevance in relation to beliefs about whether alcoholism is primarily a physiological or a behavioral/emotional issue. Personally I believe it is a bit of both, but I do not believe my sobriety is threatened by taking wine at mass when the alternative is offending my family, who take their religious beliefs very seriously.

anyway, I should be off! Nice to have a chance to reply properly to people! With Uncle Mame away I have my first day to myself these holidays ..... half way through a movie and I plan to clean the house and lie in the sun later today. Lat tomato count is 18 which I'm very happy about! UM has gone to pick up his son to stay with us for a couple of weeks so I will be in and out of here ....... but if I'm not posting I will still be reading!!!

love to all, and hope that now that life is returning to normal and routines are being re-established that any challenges that have been thrown up over the holiday season disappear into the breeze!

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

I feel better now. I read on-line both Smart tools & MWO tools. I think one of the things that triggered me (other than the link of drinking & entertaining) is that my husb wanted me to go to church w/him, & I declined. He was disappointed, & I don't often do that. Being sober means that I can't always do what others want me to do. There are times when I have to say "no." Doing what I don't want to do feels codependent which I think is a big trigger for me. Anyhow, I do feel like I can go on & have a wonderful AF night. I'm going to take a few minutes to meditate now that the house is empty...I found a meditation tape in my husb's night table. I'll check back tomorrow, but for now, I feel OK. Mary

[Miss Behaving]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

retteacher;509383 wrote: Being sober means that I can't always do what others want me to do. There are times when I have to say "no." Doing what I don't want to do feels codependent which I think is a big trigger for me.

You are so right! Good on you for recognising this and doing what you know you need.

I think this is something that I am slowly learning myself ...... I dont want to be the martyr that my mother was!! ("I'm doing this for you, just to show how self-less I am"!!)

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Changing our outsides is not going to make us happy.

I'm happy with my inside changes too, but I must admit that my outside changes are making me happy. Either that or my smile is a reflection of my misery being easier for me to bear.

LVT, hormone imbalances absolutely can make us bitchy!! Or if you are like me, you can call upon that bitchiness any time you feel like it, regardless of your hormones! (seriously, you'd be amazed at the way hormone imbalances affect sleep, moods, depression, energy levels, etc. etc.)

Sorry to dash in and out but it's turning into a hectic day. Took some updated "after" pictures since I had to tiff up anyway to go see a customer. Will update my journal later....

DG

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Quick check-in: I've been working like a dog but as I'm freelancing at the moment I'm very grateful for it in this current economic climate. Rest of Jan not looking great, but things might change in Feb. Hey ho.

I picked up some chow mein on the way home so I'm gonna scoff that and chill out - and yes, I will be getting my lardy arse down to the gym tomorrow to make up for it :H

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Mary, so glad to see you really "using" the tools at your avail. that is critically important. If we are having a down time, don't suffer...whip out those tools!

WIP, that smoker looks way too clean! lol. what a neat device. I may have to see if ebay has any of those.

[on my way]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

It sounds like everyone is bumping along. Yep, there will be bumps. Hopefully they will straighten out for all of us some day.
We dropped another tree today, it?s cut, split and stacked and I feel my age tonight.
Thankfully no drinking urges today.

Heading into town to get dog food for the fat dog.

Have a good evening all, nat

[Guitarista]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Greetings all! My inside changes, feeling good, eating better, resulting in shinier hair, better skin, walking differently, (more purpose), are of course causing me to look healthier/happier. Getting lot's more attention from women, which is fun, seeing i'm a single bloke.
Take care all.....G.

[hulagirl]

AF Daily - Saturday January 3

Aloha All! Did the annual closet clean out today. I have gotten ride of clothes that are too big, too small, too old, too ratty. Also went through the paper files. Why am I saving dental office receipts from 25 years ago???? Along with a lot of other paper clutter I have sent two large bags of "stuff" on their way out of my home. I still struggle with holding on to the personal stuff...cards, letters, photos. I have boxes and boxes. I am holding on to relationships that no longer exist and memories of younger days. Ouch. All this and still AF!