AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

[retteacher]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

At the very end of my drinking episodes, there is always the issue of having to get rid of the empty & then replace it. Sounds simple, but for me, a very, very secret drinker, that is not the case. Either I had to wrap the empty & bury it deep in the trash can, or (more likely), I had to drop it in an out-of-the-way trash can somewhere. Then, buying the new bottle (paying cash...no paper trail), & replacing it in the liquor cab. God, the machinations were ridiculous. I'm so glad to be done w/them. Mary

[Determinator]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Happy humpday ABenators far and wide!

your garlicky friend woke up in an amazingly good mood this morning, not sure why but I'm not complaining.

My dear uncle who is a chronic lifetime boozer said this simple and profound statement regarding al:

"it's always waiting"

which is both creepy and reassuring depending on how I think about it. yes, it's there waiting...however that's all it can do. we still have the choice whether or not to play the role of 'animators' of this otherwise static potential for disaster.

Cindi so glad you are pain free! hope it lasts a thousand years my friend.


be well everyone!

[hulagirl]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Aloha and Good Morning All! I know, you are well along in your beautiful AF days. I'm still in bed, irritated with a neighborhood barking dog. (and more irritated with hubby's irritation) Will read a little while and try to drift off to dream land. (I'm procrastinating today)

[Determinator]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Hula, you don't have procrastination there....you are on Hawaii time

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Hi again

Thanks for all your comments on alcohol related neuropathy - or whatever it was - i'm certain it was linked to drinking because it only developed when my drinking escalated and disappeared with abstinence. I'm sure my body was affected in many other ways - including bloatedness around the face and stomach, as well as the calorie gain. Weight just steadily dropped off me once I quit - and yet I still drink some soft alcohol free drinks in the evenings in place of alcohol which obviously contain calories but i'm still losing weight.

Regarding the earlier debate about how long should you be AF before you can admit to being a non drinker. Not sure about that officially but the last time I was asked was prior to my surgery in March 08(hysterectomy) at a pre-operative assessment by one of the gynaecology nurses. At the time I was on about day 54 of my first ever long AF stretch and she asked me face to face as she completed a form, how much I drank in a week (in terms of units). I was completely honest both to her (and to the consultant gynaecologist and to the anesthetist who was doing my anaesthetic) and told them I'd not had a drink for 54 days but prior to that I was drinking 40-50 units / week. They were all so positive and encouraging to me "that's brilliant, very well done, superb - keep going, " kind of attitude, that it continued to really motivated me. The consultant in particular seemed very anti-alcohol - although I didn't ask him directly I got the impression that he didn't drink at all. I felt I wanted to be completely honest because it was in a way linked to the depression with my problem etc etc and I just felt they were looking after me, I trusted them totally and I wanted to be honest.

Don't know what I'd do now if I actually had a questionnaire to complete actually - I think i'd put non- drinker or certainly that I was well within the recommended healthy guidelines per week.

I also find that with people you've never met before or you don't know that well - if you just say when offered alcohol - "No thanks, I don't drink" dont' tend to push it or ask you why, like it's non of their business. The problem is with people whom you know much better, or who have seen you drink in the past who will try and pursuade you to have one "go on - you deserve it" kind of attitude and I find this hard, although because everyone notices my weight loss recently I tend to use it as a reason for not drinking and say "I don't want to drink at the moment because I am watching my weight - as you can see i've lost a lot since I stopped drinking", and then just try and change the subject.

The one thing I have learned from MWO and other sources is just how many people have a problem and keep it hidden, and I look around all the people I know, friends, neighbours, co-workers etc and am secretly thinking - some of you must have a problem just like me but are hiding it, and wonder who they are.

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Sorry that was a bit of a ramble - but I forgot to say that after opening up to and being honest with the gynae nurse etc I did ask her what she recorded on my form - and she put "non drinker"!!

[Cinders]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Sausage,

I am such a wysiwyg!!

If someone asks me or tries to prod me into drinking, I just laugh and say, "Nope, I am an alcoholic and you would NOT like to see what happens if I start drinking with you."

It usually shuts everyone up.

Of course, I don't say any of that in front of clients or others in my group, because they could use it to get me let go, (read that fired) but for every day friends, cohorts, etc., I am not ashamed.

I am not ashamed. I almost wish I were. Then it would be easier to keep "hiding" and staying sober.

I am a wysiwyg, though. I will always be.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Sausage: I too wonder whom of the people I encounter daily are secret drinkers. I'm sure there are some. Mary

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Oh, Cindi. You are so brutally honest! :H

I, too, have NO problem with telling people I know well that I am an alcoholic and will decline that drink, thank you very much.

I am extremely discreet when it comes to work or people I do not know well. I simply say no thanks, I'll pass this time.

We are adults. Most mature adults will not pressure anyone into drinking. No means no and that is that.

Sausage, yes I often look at others and think there must be some closet drinkers amongst the bunch too. It is more common than most people think.

[Cinders]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

You know, my daughter and I were talking about this the other day.

Now that we know and recognize that we are alcoholics and we know what we are doing....

We suddenly recognize in other people the "signs."

Neither of us would ever say anything to them but ... we recognize the looks, the evasions, the "sneaking" into the bathroom, the. OMG, is that me?

Yep.

Love,
Cindi

[dill]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

It's funny because I wonder that, too. Who else is a closet drinker? The other thing I think about when I am out in the store buying groceries but wishing to be buying wine, is "Why aren't all these people buying alc?". How can they get through the day without it? I look at all the people that don't seem to be slaves to it and wonder why I am not like them. As you can tell, I am only a newbie!

Thanks to you all for your inspiration and support.

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

That is so true, Cindi.

I can see many signs in people too. It is almost like a mirror image of our own behaviour when drinking. I find it fascinating. It makes you almost want to help them; but then you would be exposing yourself.

It is interesting!

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Dill, we are lucky here in BC that we don't have liquor in our grocery stores. Thank God! I often meet people that don't drink more than a few times a year and think WTF?

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

I never was embarassed about buying alcohol because I rarely needed to - my husband was (still is ) in a wine club and he had masses of the stuff delivered. - we still have 200+ bottles in the garage- he drinks nearly every night - obviously the amount / regularity with which he orders has drastically dropped - when he did place an order recently the guy commented on how his consumption had gone down and he said "oh, my wife has stopped drinking". I did worry about empties though - and would take these a few at a time to different bottle banks!!

Interestingly because I didn't buy alcohol in the supermarket / shops I didn't really think about it when I was in there, but now I avoid the wine section like the plague because it always sends triggers to me when I walk down it and I start craving - just seeing all those bottles arranged in their different colours; red, rose white, with their beautiful lables......!!!! One occasion when I caved after a stretch (22 days) of sobriety (earlier in 2008) was when I had just been to the shops around 8pm after swimming and I cut through the wine section. I didn't buy any there but started on a bottle of rose from the garage when I got home! Am also really aware of adverts / commericals in magazines etc for wine now which I wasn't before. Anyone else found this!?

[Cinders]

AF Daily Wednesday January 7th 2009

Dill,

It's funny because I wonder that, too. Who else is a closet drinker? The other thing I think about when I am out in the store buying groceries but wishing to be buying wine, is "Why aren't all these people buying alc?". How can they get through the day without it? I look at all the people that don't seem to be slaves to it and wonder why I am not like them. As you can tell, I am only a newbie!

I am married to one of those. He never looks at alcohol to buy. It is just not a thought to him. If he buys a 6 pack of beer, 5 of them go stale or get taken by my son before the other 5 are gone.

Believe it or not, there are people out there who do not LIKE the effect alcohol has on them. Not one bit. My hubby doesn't.

He also has a bad back. Doctors have tried to "push" the usual pain meds on him. He takes them once and goes, "I do not like how those make me feel." and doesn't take them anymore.

He doesn't like getting drunk, he doesn't like getting high.

It is why I married him.

He helps keep me alive.

He is rethinking the whole thing, himself, though. sigh.

He is tired of coming home and finding a "surprise."


Love,
Cindi