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My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

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    #1

    My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

    Hello,

    I just wanted to share some struggles over the weekend; as you all have inspired me with similar stories.

    I am a binge drinker, have been for over 20 years, and this was my first weekend with out AL. Friday night was awkward, as I didn't know what to do. So I did what you all suggested and read tons on this site, even posted some comments for those doing great or struggling. Some really heart touching stories are found here, for those who are new like me, and I thank you for helping me through that night. Saturday came and holy crap I felt great in the morning!! I cooked eggs, full breakfast, with no hangover!!!!

    Ok, day 6 was in the bag....but there was still Saturday night. I have never been sober on a Saturday night. And football (american) playoffs were on. I didn't plan anything with my friends (as that would be a trigger for me) and watched both games (and remember them!!) drinking...tea. HA! Sunday morning I went to church with my son, who sat on my lap the whole time...it was great. As an agnostic I had plenty of "other" excuses not to go. That morning, I felt like it wasn't about my stand on religion...rather it was about community; and it was a beautiful day.

    Yet, Sunday night was hours away...could I do it. Evil forces were at play. The weather turned sour, my in-laws (who love to drink...talk about enabling) were in town harrassing me about not taking at least a 'shot' for them. Then, later my wife (with a few in her) said she would understand if I wanted to take a drink. I felt alone (her intentions were honest and I don't blame her at all, in fact it was very sweet) as her family turns against me when they drink. This time, however, I was sober and just watched them act like fools. It was like watching a movie.

    So...what did I do? I spent time with my son, who goes to his room when the "voices get scary", and we played Thomas (the tank engine) and with his favorite cars. He is so creative; I have always been so proud of him...but now I really feel like I know him, and understand him. His is calmer around me and it is Heaven. He lined up all his guys (stuffed animals) on the bed and we played with each one at a time. When it was time for bath and bed about 2 hours had passed. It felt like I was 'spending the night' with my son rather than the roudy crowd on the patio. He didn't fuss or fight, in fact he helped me start the bath, got out his clothes, and pulled the books off the shelf he wanted me to read to him. Normally this is a struggle for both of us. In the past, I was drunk on weekends ('binge'ers unite!) by bedtime and would rush through the evening-I'm such a shit-quickly taking a bath, brushing teeth, combing hair and grab any book off the shelf.

    I can't tell you how much I love him in a note or letter here, but I have fallen in love with him even more these last 8 days.

    Here's to day 9, and many more.

    Thanks to all who posted over the weekend, especially One2Many who posted the "I'm not going to waste a Sunday Night not drinking" post. It kept me from joining the group last night and this morning I am forever grateful!
    My creed; "Be the friend you seek, the spouse yours deserves and the Parent your children need"
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    #2
    My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

    Thanks One2Many,

    Your post was what cinched it for me; I hope you know how much I appreciate you and your posts.

    Many thanks
    My creed; "Be the friend you seek, the spouse yours deserves and the Parent your children need"

    Comment

      #3
      My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

      Congrats on surviving the weekend. Saying No to a drink can be quite empowering in its own way. Children are amazing and can be the strongest motivator to stop drinking. Congrats on day 9, as a fellow binge drinker I know that the next few days should be good and the real test starts next weekend.

      Comment

        #4
        My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

        EZ,

        Is it always going to be hard on the weekends? Doesn't it get better after a while. I know 9 days AF isn't much for binge drinkers; but I am hoping I am getting better.

        Thanks
        My creed; "Be the friend you seek, the spouse yours deserves and the Parent your children need"

        Comment

          #5
          My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

          Congrats on making it through the weekend. Weekends can be the toughest because it's seen as a time to lay back and just relax etc, etc. You are doing so well, keep it up!

          BTW 9 days is huge for anyone!
          "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

          Comment

            #6
            My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

            Congrats on your first sober weekend Pappa! I love reading your posts with so many wonderful mentions of your love for your son.

            Weekends may always be slightly more challenging than week days for you, since your pattern was to get through the week, then holy moly let the party begin. (I was a daily drinker)

            I truly believe that with time this DOES get easier - it has for me. The more I go through a given situation where I used to drink, WITHOUT drinking, the easier that situation becomes. So one by one, each different situations is getting much easier with practice and establishing new habits.

            I urge you to view this as a total lifestyle change, not just "not drinking." The more you fill up your old drinking time with new activities, people and interests, the less time you will have available to "miss" drinking. Exercise has been really key for me. Endorphins are just good stuff overall, but the last thing I feel like after working out is pouring some poison down the hatch.

            Anyway, you sound like you are truly ready to get free of the beast, and congratulations on weekend 1 AF!!! (and special congrats for not letting the outlaws oops I meant inlaws get your goat)

            DG
            Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
            Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07

            One day at a time.

            Comment

              #7
              My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

              DoggyGirl,

              I love that "Outlaws"!!! I called them the Clampets (after the Beverly Hillbillies) but decided I was propagating the problem by teasing them; which made it worse once the drinking started in.

              I used to love excercise and am finding myself taking a jog around the block more often when feeling cravings.

              By the way, has anyone experienced becoming more patient? More helpful around the house? More creative at work? I have...I wonder...

              My best to you all, and thanks for all the support. I love this place
              My creed; "Be the friend you seek, the spouse yours deserves and the Parent your children need"

              Comment

                #8
                My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

                Hi Aidenspappa.

                I have just worked out that in the last 28 days I have had a drink twice. I got drunk twice over christmas after going 10 days AF, and after that I was more determined than ever to beat it. I seemed to take longer to recover from that hangover and I can only guess it was because I hadn't drunk in the previous 10 days. Now I am on day 16 and I feel very strong, the weekends are easier. My husband is drinking in front of me, I even go to the bottle shop for him. It is probably wrong to say this here where we encourage people not to drink but falling off the wagon has probably encouraged me to stay sober. It was a good thing because that last hangover was terrible. Now I am happier, healthier, just buzzing with life, I am also in dread of falling back into that cycle. It was a terrible cycle to live in. You know the old saying - A change is as good as a holiday.

                And a big yes to the being more patient bit, especially on the weekends as they are not now being defined by AL.

                Comment

                  #9
                  My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

                  Ezzmae,

                  You are inspirational. Like you, I went to the liquor store for my wife (after she asked if it was ok) and I did something I swore I would never do; I brought my 4 year old son Aidan with me. Before you all have me arrested let me plead my case. Holding his hand in the liquor store was a physical reminder for me why I choose not to drink. I am in control. I can be around drinkers, I can buy for my wife (as she has been a moderate drinker her whole life, can take it or leave it-but her folks were coming) and keep control. I have to believe that; and holding Aidan's hand made it seem real to me. I am doing this for me, so I can show him how to use control. I'm not sure he gives a shit, but it was very symbolic for me. Besides the clerk thought he was adorable, and that made me so proud. His manners were on! (Parents you can vouch, this isn't always the case)

                  I also dread falling, slipping up or going back to day one. I have told my wife how most post their days of AF along with "Dog Days" beside them. Keeping a sense of accomplishment, regardless of any mistakes along the way. It seems very forgiving and a better account of the attempt made towards ridding one self of AL.

                  My Best to you
                  My creed; "Be the friend you seek, the spouse yours deserves and the Parent your children need"

                  Comment

                    #10
                    My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

                    Hi aidenspapa,
                    I just had to chime in here and thank you for sharing your weekend experience. I think your son is very lucky to have his dad "back". I also like what you said about church being about "community" I think this is very true. I used to rush through the evening "chores" so I could carry on with my drinking freely. I regret that. I'm glad you were there to play with you son instead of him having to hide from the scary voices!:h
                    _______________
                    NF since June 1, 2008
                    AF since September 28, 2008
                    DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                    _____________
                    :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                    5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                    _______________
                    The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

                      aiden is a lucky boy!
                      your post brought a tear to my eye papa. i too am inspired by my child. she is the most important person in the world to me and i promised her that i would stop drinking wine, and so far i've kept that promise for 10 days.
                      it is amazing to feel so connected and to really be present with your child on a deep level. there is nothing like it in the world. they need us so deeply and to be able to give that is the most rewarding feeling on earth.

                      keep up the good work my friend and come back and read your story if you feel weak, it made me feel strong!!!

                      peace!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

                        aidanspappa;517705 wrote: DoggyGirl,

                        I love that "Outlaws"!!! I called them the Clampets (after the Beverly Hillbillies) but decided I was propagating the problem by teasing them; which made it worse once the drinking started in.

                        I used to love excercise and am finding myself taking a jog around the block more often when feeling cravings.

                        By the way, has anyone experienced becoming more patient? More helpful around the house? More creative at work? I have...I wonder...

                        My best to you all, and thanks for all the support. I love this place
                        Yes. I find that I have way more patience, especially with my kids. I am a much nicer person.

                        I always thought I drank to calm my brain down. It always seemed to be running at 110%. Now I realize that AL was causing the "noise" in my brain. I know that sounds weird, but I don't know how else to put it. (no, I'm not hearing voices :H)

                        Anyway, it feels great. Peaceful.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          My first weekend...and plenty of traps.

                          Wow, what a great story!! Good for you man! Isn't it amazing the clarity we get after binging for so long. There have been many events that were of importance to me, that I missed or don't really remember due to being drunk. Keep up the good work!
                          "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."

                          ~Red :h

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