AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

[stargirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Good Morning everyone!
Very very cold here. -30 degrees with with windchill. Putting off going outside to de-snow/ice my car to the last possible minute!
Cinders, good for you for giving your hubby the keys. It's very brave of you to realize the need to do so. I know sometimes when I have done stuff like that I thought "gosh am I really that bad that I NEED someone to keep me from drinking?" Well yes, I was, and it's a good step. Good for you. Goodluck with the inpatient options too.
I'm on day 17 and feel great. I am still just hanging out in the bubble I call home besides going to work, so I am wondering what will happen once I actually am in a possition which I am surrounded with drink. It's scary to me. I'd like to think I am strong enough. Only time will tell.
Oh, I got the scale out and have gained a lovely 10 pounds back already. My boyfriend said I didn't look like a skeleton anymore. Gosh, I didn't even realize how bad I was treating my body. Yuck NO MORE
Enjoy your sober Tuesday everyone

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

terrific Tuesday ABenators!!!

the sun is twinkling on the frosty yard, bunnies hopping around like it's spring....very pretty morning here in the high desert.

Redhibiscus, welcome to you and congrats on the days!

AFM, keep your guard up in Abotsford. Drinking and smoking are no good but a little violence is ok so long as you wear a mouthguard and have your hands taped up good ok? LOL and listen to your cornerman! hahahaha. good grief I'm loopy on coffee this morning.

Cindi, bless your heart for being here and being positive. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX for you hon.

the empties? hmmmm. I recall a rather dark long-weekend bender when Dx was out of town and I stood there looking at the row of empty wine bottles on the kitchen table. there were like 8 of them.
so after chugging a mid-morning bottle of vino I started to fling them over the fence in to the neighbors yard. presto! gawd I don't miss that crap. yucko! patoooie!

Being AF is both mental and physical health to me. People that are new to AF time often ask me: but isn't it HARD to be AF?
yes, it's very hard. but let me tell you something....even if it was twice as hard as it already was....I'd do it anyway. if I had to rip my arm off with a hacksaw to be AF I'd do it. if I had to gouge out both of my freaking eyes to be AF I'd do that too dammit. I tend to find myself getting really tired of the 'oh it's so hard' rant. sorry. blowing off some steam there.

ok, I better go peel some garlic and chill out.

love you all and be well!

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Determinator;518762 wrote:
Being AF is both mental and physical health to me. People that are new to AF time often ask me: but isn't it HARD to be AF?
yes, it's very hard. but let me tell you something....even if it was twice as hard as it already was....I'd do it anyway. if I had to rip my arm off with a hacksaw to be AF I'd do it. if I had to gouge out both of my freaking eyes to be AF I'd do that too dammit. I tend to find myself getting really tired of the 'oh it's so hard' rant. sorry. blowing off some steam there.

LMFAO!!!! GO DET!!! I love this post!!

Furnace Boy is now in the basement with the precious $500 furnace part. Let's all wish him well on his project!!!

Cindi... good to see you here, and WHATEVER IT TAKES, right? And thanks for the warning but it's about 50 degrees in here, and I have the gas logs going... Not really all that bad!

[on my way]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Hellllo abbers! another snow day from school. The house is crawling with kids, indoors and out....... There are more kids here than reside here; I'm still trying to figure out where they all came from seeing that we live in the middle of nowhere.
Last year at this time that would have been the go ahead for a lot of wine after I put them to bed. NOT TODAY.

Feeling better but still hacking up strangeness, hope to hop on the tread mill later this afternoon.

Deter, bottles over the fence….bet your neighbors love you!!

Hang in there Cindi; I’m sure your counselor will come up with something for you.

Best to you all, nat

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Hi all,
Taking a quick break from cleaning out filing cabinets and my office. Greenie, I keep thinking of you and all of your references to the "black hole"!:H

Hubby's Dr. finally called and his stress test was normal. Good news. Now he sees the cardiologist to see if he can figure out what is causing the arrhythmias. I also hope he is getting enough AF time under his belt to realize the benefits!

Best wishes to all of you still struggling to quit. I admire your courage and determination.:h

[Miss Behaving]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Determinator;518762 wrote:

Being AF is both mental and physical health to me. People that are new to AF time often ask me: but isn't it HARD to be AF?
yes, it's very hard. but let me tell you something....even if it was twice as hard as it already was....I'd do it anyway. if I had to rip my arm off with a hacksaw to be AF I'd do it. if I had to gouge out both of my freaking eyes to be AF I'd do that too dammit. I tend to find myself getting really tired of the 'oh it's so hard' rant. sorry. blowing off some steam there.

thanks Det - needed that. Feeling so pathetic and sorry for myself at the moment ........ need to change some thinking (again!!)

Booked myself a massage for lunchtime today ..... did this yesterday when I really wanted some wine for a "treat". Have developed a list of things that are treats that are actually good for my body instead of pouring more poison into it.

[BridgetJones1998]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Hello everyone!!

DITTO WIP!!! LMFAO!! DET, GET ON STAGE MAN! YOU ARE TOO FUNNY, but So much truth in what you say. I couldn't agree more. I feel like being sober is so much better than any drug I could ever have or take. I don't want this feeling to ever end. I still have my hard days... believe me... and they are hard... but the overall life, the energy, the clarity, the, ability to laugh again, the fact that i'm not sitting on that dam couch every night from the time i get home with that wine glass then retreating to the bed at 7:30 pm... passing out at 10 and barely making it to work at 8am with no interaction with the world... that was my freakin' life!!! I'd cut off my arm and gouge my eyes out too!! DET, you are right on!! I haven't been to bed before 11pm and haven't slept past 5:30 since I have been AF... and no alarm!!

In a rush so don't have time to greet everyone by name. I haven't been able to post due to working WAY too much but have managed to slip on and read some daily and gain inspiration.

Good luck to everyone. Thank you for all of your posts. I hope things will slow down and I will be on here more. Big hugs to all of you!

[Beaches]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Great encouragement and resolve from everyone not to drink today. I have been feeling so good I actually thought about drinking wine this evening. I thought that would be great I would feel great then reality hit and I remembered how it really was and not so great. I will stand strong tonight.

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Beaches,

I will be standing strong with you!! We can stay sober today and wake up tomorrow so much happier because of it.

As for me, I have no more thoughts of the one glass idea. One glass would just be torture. None is a lot less difficult...

I have an appt with IOP today at 6:00 and I have a great new sponsor with AA. I believe that long term rehab is out unless the family could take a huge hit money wise.

I wil try IOP and AA and pray I can learn and practice the tools that let me be sober and happy. I need to learn the happy piece.

Yes, WIP, whatever it takes. I am resolved to beat this. (Really don't want to poke my eye out or cut off an arm, though.)

Love,
Cindi

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Hello everyone
Another uneventful day - Mr Sausage is away and the kids are hard work on my own - even when I put them to bed at 7.30 my youngest often doesn't fall asleep til 10pm or even later, not a lot of time to myself. I really really fancied a glass of wine when I was bathing the kids tonight -yet my rule was never to drink til they'd gone to be. It was tough, but I hung on in there and am now drinking lemonade with lime cordial in it. My SAD (seasonal affective disorder) lamp arrived today and i've got it going - it's supposed to take several days of 1hr or so sessions, before you notice any improvement. It's SO BRIGHT! mind you - we dont' even have any decent lightbulbs in our house as they're all energy saving and hardly give off any light (mr sausage is trying to save the planet!!!) so it's a bit of a shock to the system!

Take care everyone.

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Cindi, you have a LOT of resolve and that is the magic ingredient. I think that IOP, AA and that resolve will combine to make the foundation for a great future. and of course you have to hop on chat once in a while...I miss you!

[spottydingo]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Hi there everyone! Just checking in, sounds like people are having their ups and downs.

oceanaocean;518342 wrote: Oh, that bottle of Jack? I found it after husband took all the AL out of the house, somehow he missed it. AND although I do not drink Jack, I managed to buy and replace three bottles, so this is the one I did not finish and it is hidden up in my art room (I forgot about it.) And, of course, there is a full bottle up where I found the original One. But no fears, that's the LAST THING I WANT.

Oceana, I don't know you but if I'm reading this right, you have 2 bottles of booze in your house and your marriage depends on you remaining sober???? At the risk of sounding bitchy, THROW IT OUT. If it truly IS the "last thing you want", then it won't matter if it goes away. Just the fact that you have hidden a bottle means you most likely intend to drink it. I'm on your side and am telling you this from experience! Hang in there and be strong.

Best wishes to all the others out there who are struggling a bit and congrats to those who are succeeding.

My hubby has been away since Saturday and I've been fine being AF on my own, though its a bit lonely. The weather here is positively summer-like, with temps up to 70 degrees F yesterday and today, which helps my mood tremendously. The winds have been really blowing though, which is a bit creepy at night. I'm just trying to concentrate on getting things done around the house. Kind of boring, but there ya go.

BUT, last night on my way home from the beach I was very tempted to swing by the store -- the nice weather makes me think of sitting outside with a glass of wine and a cigarette. But I didn't! I'm looking forward to Hubs coming home but I know he'll want to have some wine after a week out of the country. I'm glad you can't bring liquids on the plane as he used to always bring home a bottle of something special. Now he can't. Yay.

We're meeting with a rescue group next weekend to meet some potential girlfriends for my dog George (AKA Spotty Dingo). I think he really needs a friend but after all we went through with him I have a lot of trepidation about another rescue (though I would only adopt a rescue). Hubby is less enthusiastic about a second dog. I just don't want it to be another difficult pet situation I've gotten us into.

Funny, since I've been not drinking I've been finding myself being less decisive about many things, like I'm not sure I trust myself. I wonder if this is related to being AF or growing older or something else entirely. Comments?

Well, cheers everyone!

[Guest]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

[QUOTE=spottydingo;519118]Hi there everyone! Just checking in, sounds like people are having their ups and downs.



Oceana, I don't know you but if I'm reading this right, you have 2 bottles of booze in your house and your marriage depends on you remaining sober???? At the risk of sounding bitchy, THROW IT OUT. If it truly IS the "last thing you want", then it won't matter if it goes away. Just the fact that you have hidden a bottle means you most likely intend to drink it. I'm on your side and am telling you this from experience! Hang in there and be strong.

Spottydingo,
Hey! Funny a friend told me the same thing on the phone today and I said I would ship it over to some guys down the street for their bar. And I shall do that asap, but with my meds I am so not even thinking about AL, but I will get it out of here, just in case. AND one more thing to share even though this threads time is almost up. Since I am/was a 24/7 drinker, I have replaced the middle of the night drink with a nice crispy apple by my bed. When I awaken at 3 pm (still) I just lay in bed and crunch that apple, yum, and I get my sugar too. Works for Me! Thanks for the input.

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

an apple. perfecto! I love fruit now that I'm AF for the first time in my life really.

Spotty, good question. I'd say you are clearheaded and taking decisions seriously and with consideration to consequence. I'm still pretty impulsive and in fact I think I'm MORE impulsive now but that's just my AF personality. kind of hyperactive when I'm AF I guess.

[hulagirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday January 13, 2009

Aloha All! Made it through one of those very stressfull days with out the bottle. I DON'T HAVE TIME!!! Students back tomorrow and I still didn't do what I needed to do today to get ready. Sometimes there is just not enough hours in the day. I wonder if "time management" is one of my problems...any way. Happy Wednesday to you all!