AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

[Cinders]

Good Morning my Abland Friends.

I am on day 3 now (really 3 1/2 but who the heck is counting??) and feeling pretty good. Blood pressure went a bit high yesterday evening, 183/80, but pulse was fine and no tremors, etc. If I can get through today, I should be getting back on track physically.

I went to IOP counseling session and they want me to go back into inpatient as does my hubby. I explained to them that I am considering it but absolutely not at their facility. Been there, done that and it just isn't quite the place for me. So, if I am going to do inpatient, it will be out of town. :-(

I have really decided that I want to do IOP and AA because of insurance reasons and the length of time it will give me. If I go into inpatient, I will use up my lifetime alcoholism insurance benefits very quickly. If I do IOP, I use it very slowly and it gives me a much longer term treatment option. I will know within a week or two if IOP and AA are not working for me and one week only uses up 2 "days" of insurance. If they are not working, I will switch over to inpatient at a facility I like.

I see a fight brewing. They are the only game in town and I am quite sure they want the money that insurance will pay for inpatient. Outpatient is very inexpensive.

I also wanted to make sure I shout out hello to all those I keep missing here, especially the ones like Hulagirl that jump on to the end of the thread. I think you are doing fabulously!!

For some reason I also seem to miss Ocean and BridgetJones, and I also wanted to say "hi" and you are doing very well. So glad you are here with us.

Garlando, Welcome and stick with this group. We are a good group and care. Lots of great advice from some wonderful people here.

For all the rest of my Abber friends, have a great day. I am sure I will be sticking close to the boards today, so I will probably be jumping on and off a lot today.

I am asking hubby to take the keys again today. It is the one thing that insures I will not drink today.

Love,
Cindi

[Beaches]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Good morning Cinders
Wow that is scary HBP. Glad to hear you are starting to feel better. I think you have a great plan put together and need to do what is right for you now what others think is right.

Stayed AF last night after many thoughts of having a drink. 6 days AF in row many more for the month. Fell to the beast early on.

Work today and then a meeting later on tonight so this day should fly by.

Take Care Everyone

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Cindi: I'm not sure what IOP is, but I do, of course, know what AA is. I was wondering if you could possibly do the 90 meetings in 90 days routine that AA recommends for new absters. I know it sounds like a huge committment, but your life is worth it. I also know that not all meetings are always rewarding. I've been to my share of "clunkers." But, even the bad ones usually offer some kind of nugget of wisdom. 22 years ago I joined Alanon & worked through the 12 steps. I really gained a lot of insight about myself. It's something to think about.

As for me: I'm doing well. I do have another dinner w/friends at my home on Sat. evening but will prepare myself thoroughly for it. I haven't had too many drinking thoughts, but when I do, I also know (as you said Cindi yesterday) that "just one" would not do it for me. I haven't had one or 2 drinks in years. I've also been using the "remembering back" technique of reviewing a drinking episode. I really try to get back into my own skin & recall the compulsive quality of the drinking. It's been working for me.

Take care. I'll try to check back later.

Mary

[charlee]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Morning everyone
Doing well here, a frigid day here in the NE...been a long winter already!!!
I am ready for some fun in the sun, maybe I will do an early enrollment at the tanning salon!!
Have been doing the treadmill every moring, marathon man I am not, but a least I have made the commitment and plan to stick to it...The treadmill is old, keeps crapping out just as I am on a roll and the reset button and cool down period are needed to restart....quite discouraging...so I will put a new treadmill on my wish list....Off to work, hope everyone has a great day......

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Mary,

IOP is Intensive Out Patient. I would go to counseling sessions Monday - Thurs from 6:00 pm - 9:00 pm and I would do that for 5 weeks. Additionally, Fri/Sat/Sun, I will go to AA meetings, as many as I need. So, it is very much like the 90 in 90 and a little more intense.

The counseling sessions are like the sessions they had in rehab inpatient. We get together in a group with a counselor (and most of these counselors are recovering themselves) and discuss different issues.

For some, that would be horrible. Being in a group and discussing person thoughts and past actions, etc, but for me, it was the most helpful part of the inpatient rehab.

I agree, Mary, plan, plan, plan!! Hubby and I were discussing this about my character last night. I often just "let things happen" instead of thinking ahead. So, for me, a good first basic step in changing my life for the better is to start planning ahead.

Love,
Cindi

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Morning all.

Gotta run to the hole - I'm doing all 3 jobs again at the hole plus the year end stuff. This is exactly when I fell from my knees to my face last year and stayed there for months. Same circumsances but I was married to a dysfunctional man - well I still am but at least he doesnt' live here. While that was a factor, it is more important to consider that I was drinking and unable to handle my life. I give alcohol consumption full credit for that awful period of time. This year I have my head on straight, am in control of my life and am making what I think are sound decisions. When I have a rough spot and think a drink will wash it away for a bit, I remember very clearly that

ALCOHOL WILL ONLY MAKE THINGS WORSE.

Cindi,I think IOP would be good. There's an IP place here and when your insurance money runs out, you are cured. I think the counseling you describe would be very helpful. I never talked in AA. I was doing so badly I knew if I opened my mouth I'd cry. I think it is helpful to verbalize those issues. I'm 2 states over cheering for you.

Everybody have a good day! Drink healthy beverages. I have to quit this recent caffeine thing I'm on. Caffeine doesn't rock me like it used to but I keep trying for some stupid reason. Must be the addict in me.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Cindi: Do whatever you have to do to get well. That's my advice for myself as well. I don't want to go back to that terrible place I was in before MWO. I'm doing so well since the new year started. I don't want anything to mess it up. My life is so much better wo/AL. There's really no comparison.

I do plan when I see people. I can't expect no drinking around me. Our friends are normal drinkers & so is my family. I have to come to some sort of peace w/seeing others drink in my home. My strategies:
-underbuy on the wine.
-drink plenty of water before everyone comes.
-open a can of soda as the first person walks in.

It's the opening few minutes that are the hardest for me. After that I'm fine. The last time we had people here, we threw out all the leftover wine when everyone left.

Mary

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Hi, everyone! Cindi it sounds as if you are doing a great job figuring out how to get the help/support you need within the confines of your life situation. I don't know how difficult it is for you to get to AA meetings.... but I agree with Mary that 90 AA meetings in 90 days can be VERY helpful. I did that, years ago, and also followed my own commitment to say something in every meeting (something substantive, not just "Hi I'm an alcoholic" or whatever! It really helped me to solidify my alcohol-free life. Too bad I quit going to meetings... Anyhow, it CAN be a good element in a home-based treatment program, I think...

I've got a busy couple of days facing me, getting ready to drive down to Florida. I leave on Friday morning. Much stuff to get done before I can leave!!! My biggest alcohol concern about this trip is that I am used to drinking when I am on the road, staying in motels. I don't think I will have major urges or thoughts about drinking... and if I do, I'll go out for a walk, or go to the fitness center for a walk, and if that doesn't help... I'll do it again! And I'll have my computer, so I can always log on here.

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

AWIP,

The motel thing is a bit tricky. In my case, sitting at the bar chatting was one way to pass an otherwise very lonely evening.

However, in the last year I have learned some things about how to make the time pass.

1. I try to stay in hotels that do not have a bar. This is extremely helpful.
2. If you like to exercise or swim, I have found hotels that have good exercise rooms and at the minimum a whirlpool, a good idea. Sitting in the whirlpool with a plastic glass of diet coke or whatever and reading a magazine that you don't care if you ruin makes time pass very pleasantly.
3. If you feel like you might get side tracked, get into the room and into the pjs fast!!
4. Of course, a good book is always a nice way to relax.
5. Melatonin.

Good luck on your trip. Drive carefully, enjoy the scenery and hopefully when you get to Florida, things go smoothly for you.

Love,
Cindi

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Good morning all!

Just wanted to add my encouragement to everyone today. Especially Cindi--I'm glad you have a hubby you can talk to. I know you can do this, you are so determined!!:h

I'm going to a seminar tonight about "Bioidentical Hormones" in terms of replacement therapy. It is being put on by a compounding pharmacist. I KNOW my hormones are out of whack, but my concern is the $$ it cost to have them tested, and how reliable are these tests? From what I've read, our hormones fluctuate daily if not hourly. I'm wondering if we can't try to treat the symptoms. I'm curious to hear what he has to say, but probably won't do anything until I talk to my doctor, whom I've heard has recently started prescribing bioidentical hormones. DG--I'm hoping for you input on this.

I don't want to live the rest of my life as the "bitch from hell". Last night I went from 0 to bitch in about 10 seconds which I think might be a new record for me. Sometimes the smallest thing can trigger my switch and I go off and can't shut it down! It's awful!!

Ok, I gotta go. Lots on the agenda today.
Take care everybody! :h

[momof3]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Hello All,

I have not posted in awhile. I've been a bit out of sorts. My work has come to a screeching halt and I've had the flu so my much loved routine has been turned upside down. Next week I am planning to get some much overdue projects done around the house. Planning and routine (in addition to the exercise) are the key for me.

Speaking of planning, Cindi, the IOP and AA weekends sounds like a good one. I went to IOP some years back (inpatient was not an option for me either) and I really liked it. Also, I was thinking that traveling must be a huge trigger in and of itself. When I used to travel alot, it used to mean bad food, no exercise, and lots of drinking. When I travel occasionally now, I make sure I can (a) rent a car (b) drive to a supermarket and stock up on lots of water, fruits, veggies, etc, and (c) find a gym where I can work out.

Where is AAthlete these days?

M3

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Mom,

I have been wondering with AAthlete disappeared to, also.

Anyone know or heard from him?

I miss his great posts.

Love,
Cindi

[sunshine_gg]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Hello All & Happy AF Wednesday!

Haven't talked to AA since New Year's, Cinders. Btw... I'm in awe - you have such a good handle on yourself and what you need to do.. hats off.

Greenie, hang in there - you're in a much better position and frame of mind this time around! LVT - hope the seminar and your doc will give you some answers/ideas! Sorry, I did have to laugh at 0 to bitch in 10 seconds... I think I can do that too, and I don't have a valid excuse!

WIP - Florida! Holidays? *sigh*

I'm behind today, big time.. better scurry off! Take care, everyone!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Happy Wed Aberoooos!

just a quick howdly doodly as I'm apparently working ...hmmmmm

Momof3, sorry you've been feeling crummy.

welcome to Gorlando! did you get away from that open bottle unscathed?

living out of hotels is something I've sadly become quite accustomed to in my work. I tend to hide in my room with laptop....works for me. you can also play a dvd movie on your laptop which beats paying 15.00 for an in-room movie.

feeling very good as my exercise routine is now officially kicked up to 6 hours per week. woooo!

be well my friends

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday 1/14/2009

Hi All: Great posts here! I too have missed you, AAthlete. If you're reading this, what was your quote (I think from the Big Book) about happiness. Mary