AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

[LVT25]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Hi everybody,

Another quick check in for me today. Mary, you and I must have the same personality type. I can totally relate to the need to avoid conflict. I do not like it, do not like to "debate", for years when hubby and I would get into an argument, I would leave. I still will walk away because sometimes, it seems useless to argue. But, I don't need to use alcohol to help--because it didn't.

Cindi--I truly wish the in patient rehab wasn't so expensive money wise. I will pray you find your answer soon.

I didn't make it to the seminar last night thanks to the snow and slick roads. I'm hoping they postponed it. Thanks for the info DG. I won't go into it here, but I think for now I'm going to work on my diet and exercise routine and see if that helps some. Money is tight right now and as usual I'm looking for the easy way to feel better.

Best wishes to everyone here. Keep up the great work--sober is better!!:h

[charlee]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Cindi, Will keep my fingers crossed that things will work out for you.....
Mary, Being more assertive, avoiding conflict, just being able to say "no" are things that I was sure sobriety would bring in time. For me, I have seen improvement in my family life voicing feelings and opinions, but I will admit I have not gained much ground outside of the home. I am still good ole' dependable Char, flexible, willing to accomodate most that is asked of me. There is a difference, however.......instead of the "poor me" everbody is walking all over me syndrome I know that I have a choice.....whatever decision I make I own.......I would say there is alot of work to be done.....On a positive note I have lost the feeling sorry for myself attitude......That was a biggie for me as far as drinking goes......

Hope everyone has a great day......

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

OK got several things done, had to get a lot of paperwork organized before I can even begin to do taxes, bills, and invoices before leaving town... I need a secretary! I remember when I had a secretary... oh well!

Ripple, great to see you here! So, the AA people are probably a bit skeptical about your coming back? Didn't you say something once about how you had told them you were not totally giving up the alcohol? Is that still your plan? If so... AA probably won't be a good fit for you, because they are a hard-core "abstinence only" model. They are not a place to go and talk about planning to drink... But, if you have decided that the drinking option is just NOT going to work, for you... then I hope you give them a chance... they can be so helpful...

Cindi, good luck with your doctor... maybe if you lay out a very solid and concrete recovery plan, in written form, she/they will understand what you are doing? And, if it were me, it would be good for me to put it in writing, as well... doing so truly cranks up the "commitment" factor!

Mary, LV, the scientific understandings about "thinking vs. feeling" stuff has gotten a lot more advanced, complex, and interesting, in the last 10 years or so. Dan Goleman, who wrote "Emotional Intelligence" is the leader in the field, and his book is very readable, and totally fantastic. I highly recommend it. That, and "Emotional Alchemy" by Tara Bennett-Goleman (which is more focused on how to make changes in some of these life areas).

[Mohun]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

I'm on day 15. Even I can see the difference in my skin/complexion (and I'm a dude!).

Good luck to all...

[Determinator]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Happy Thursdays ABenators far and wide!!

Sausage, (your name makes me hungry btw) thanks for the nice boot into action. I hope the lamp makes you not only happy but gives you a nice tan. hows that?

Mohun, it's awesome to get your real color back eh? congrats!

Dill, it's great having you here and also on chat. I enjoy the heck out of both.

AWIP, thanks for the reminder on the author Goleman. I did some reading on his emotional intelligence and found it quite interesting. some rehab and IOP facilities use his material in their classes. My personal emotional intelligence scores were VERY different from when I was drinking to when I had a bit of AF time.

Ripple, sorry to hear your hubby issue makes the weekends so rough. Have you considered antabuse? it may seem drastic but it can be a huge sigh of relief also. I wish you strength hon.

DG, always enjoy your epic posts. what the heck would we do without you?

everyone be well!

[on my way]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Hellllllo everyone!!

Oh boy, I know I?m posting late when deter beats me to it :H .

Nasty crud still hanging on, think I'll get some drugs for it. My lungs hurt in the cold air, I have not been able to run for more than a week now and it shows. Been busy with work, kids and house BUT have had NO drinking thinking, that?s one good thing.

Good stuff; what comes next?? When is a good time to wean from MWO??? I think it depends on the individual. When I feel comfortable I?ll do it happily but I will always be guarded and watching my back.


Back to the grind, be good!! nat

[retteacher]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

WIP: I have read Dan Goleman's work. Actually, he lives right in our area. I think our kids went through school w/his. Anyhow, "Emotional Alchemy" must have been written by his wife. I'm going to look for it. I think exercising different parts of our personality is as important as exercising our physical muscles. Certain phsychic muscles of mine are a little out of shape, & I'll have to exercise them more. My loved ones must see a change in me, but they haven't articulated it yet.

Mary

[retteacher]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

WIP: I just order Emotional Alchemy through interlibrary loan. I think I'm going to find it helpful. Mary

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Mary, my brain must be going because I cannot find that note that you asked about anywhere. Let me look around a little bit tonight and see if I can find it.

I don't know that I will ever stop going to AA or coming to MWO - but it will ebb and flow like it is now. I may not go or log on everyday but I will certainly do it a couple of times throughout the week, as I know what can happen when I get too complacent.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

retteacher;520815 wrote: I think exercising different parts of our personality is as important as exercising our physical muscles. Certain psychic muscles of mine are a little out of shape, & I'll have to exercise them more.

Mary: me, too. I'm beginning to crawl out of the bunker I've been in for the last year. Not only my drinking, but getting forced out of a job I loved, and my mother's dementia onset, happened in the last year. It was traumatic stuff, and as usual, I responded to it all by crawling into a hole by myself. The fact that I am doing my recovery stuff online, instead of face-to-face, is typical, but not helpful. I need to get out in the world among 3-D human beings, a LOT more, and I've begun working on that...

Yes, interesting, isn't it, Tara B-G is married to Dan G. Both of them, big names in the field, and I have enormous respect for their work! This would be a good time for me to re-read "Emotional Alchemy," and put some of her ideas into place in my life.

OMW, hope you are feeling better soon! Good going, Mohun! Hi Charlee, Star, and everyone here!

[Determinator]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

AAthlete! there you are. Glad you are well.

[Tom 4.0]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Hi everyone!

I'm still around and doing OK, just not posting quite as much since I'm sleeping in a bit later; I've been sleeping like a log after the first month AF. I don't have time to post in the morning and I'm not very creative in the evening...yet.

A few days ago, WIP asked how I viewed my transition from not drinking to recovery. A very good question; it's been on my mind all week. I feel lucky that when I finally realized the extent of my drinking and the damage being done, I was "scared sober". I was using alcohol to numb myself from reality; not that my reality was bad, just that ten beers made it seem easier... of course, eventually, that made reality worse. After several lame attempts at moderation, I was fortunate to find MWO and the positive support of the long term abbers. The clouds parted, the sun shown down and it was instantly clear that alcohol was not the path to a healthy, happy life. As a result, I do not drink.

As for recovery, the old body is coming around; but it's going to take a while to clean up the mess! I don't always feel sharp, but I know alcohol won't help. Of course I'm trying to improve nutrition and exercise to help the body recover, and I have faith that natural health and balance will return. Have an eye exam tomorrow, as it seems my vision has improved and now my Rx is too strong.

On the spiritual side, I believe this recovery is more about embracing life than it is about abstaining from alcohol. I'm not "going without" or "missing something"; instead, I'm smiling, looking people in the eye, and treating people well; but I'm also being strong and standing up for myself when I must. I don't make excuses for feeling punk or put things off til another day, I am getting on with life!

:thanks:Well, thanks again for being here, I couldn't do this without you. Good luck and stay warm.

[MissDoodleBug]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Hello all!!! Today is my one month AF anniversary! Never thought I would be able to do this! It's almost too easy with the MWO supplements and hypnosis CD's. I hardly even think about alcohol anymore, except to remember how bad it was to drink all day and how grateful I am to be sober.

I found this really great Meier's sparkling burgundy grape juice that I drink from my wine glasses and you know what, I like it much better than wine!!! Wow.. that is a miracle.

This is my second week of yoga classes, it's great fun. Physically and mentally I feel great and I am so happy and grateful to be free.

Actually, I feel guilty coming in here all happy and posting, sometimes I feel like some people want quitting drinking to be a hard misery, does that make sense?

That's why I hesitate to go to AA.. the one time I went it felt like a funeral!

Anyways, I wish you all the best and a happy AF life!!!

Stay strong!!!

Love,

Doodlebug

[stargirl]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

Congrats Doodlebug! One month...amazing I have to say that grape juice sounds really yummy. I am now the biggest consumer of raspberry sparkling Karbunn in my town...I keep them in buisness I think.
I love reading posts when people are happy and doing well. No need to feel guilty. I get inspired by posts from people doing well, hanging in there, struggling, and re-grouping. We are all in this together (though for ourselves of corse) but the range and depth of the "daily crew" make it a place where I can go no matter which one of those phases I am going through.
Well, I guess I should hit the hay. Stay strong abbers!

[dill]

AF Daily Thurs January 15th 2009

YAY, D-bug! Way to go! I second what stargirl sayid about loving reading posts "when people are happy and doing well"! I feel just the same way she does. Thanks for the inspiration!