AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

[ABP]

Good luck today folks - hope you all made it through Fri/Sat nights.

Am now on day day 13 and looking forward to hitting 2 weeks.

But am getting irritated really easily and being incredibly snappy with my immediate family - thankfully they're all really tolerant. Am hoping it's just a phase of not drinking - anyone else go through that.

[stargirl]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Good Morning everyone,
abp - Yes, I find myself "snapping" at my boyfriend a lot more. Well at least I realize that I do. I have my days when I seem to be on top of the world embracing my sobriety, and other days I am "woe is me, I'M the one going through something damn-it, it's hard...you should be treating ME with kid gloves" Of course not true. The only advice I have is to try to slow down..easier said then done of course.
I had a bad night last night. Cleaned the whole house, boyfriend gets home, drops his junk all over, eats his dinner in the living room and leaves 4 yucky dishes on the table, condiment packets all over...Ugh Then he just walks away without a word and goes to bed. I really wanted al. I was weird too, because I wanted a big nasty shot of whiskey....I don't even like whiskey! Well I pulled through..not very happily though. Of course today I'm super proud. That was the closest I've gotten. Scary
Ok, I wish wonderful sober Sundays to abp and all to come today You all rock!

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Good morning thread! ABP, you're doing great, and I agree with Stargirl... this will pass, and "slow down" is wonderful advice. It's hard to do, for many of us (certainly including me!). Being "revved up" provides a big of a "high," and we find it difficult to let it go; the same is true of anger. One thing I do is deliberately stop whatever I am doing, several times a day, take a deep breath, and then keep going... but at a slightly slower speed, paying attention to how I feel and what I am thinking.

Stargirl, I woulda gone totally off my rocker if I were living with that kind of behavior! Is that typical, with him? Yikes!

I had a lovely evening in St. Augustine, went for a walk around in a very old neighborhood; it feels so good to me, to be in this part of the world. I spent most of my childhood in Florida, and this feels more like "home" to me than anywhere else. I am SO glad that I don't drink... life would be entirely different, if I had not stopped that horrible stuff.

I hope everyone has a good day...

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Stargirl, I think you hit the nail on the head. When I used to stop on my own I would build the event up to be this big, monumental event in my head and expected everyone else to treat it that way as well. I expected kudos for every day that I was sober and wanted people to immediately start treating me differently because I had stopped.

What I needed to understand was that although I needed to do this for me, I didn't need to make it all about me. I had to learn to take it one day at a time and accept what life was giving me on life's terms. It takes time to change people's perceptions just as it takes time to change our habits and we can't expect things to happen right away - it takes patience and time. I think one of the great fallacies of stopping drinking is that our lives are going to change in incredible ways - and to a certain extent they do. But, all the same stuff is still there to deal with, we are just choosing to now deal with them sober.

Star, sorry to hear about your bad night - it sounds like you really internalized your feelings instead of expressing your frustration towards your boyfriend. That is a common trait of those of us with alcohol problems. We choose to bury thoughts and emotions in the bottom of a bottle instead of expressing them openly and honestly. But, that is one of the things that I needed to learn to do in order to maintain my sobriety - otherwise I am traveling a slippery slope.

[dill]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Well, the start to another fine day, with lots of things to think about! AA, you couldn't be more right!, ABP, I think crankiness, irritability goes with the process, but will decrease as we go along. Star, I think I would’ve been upset, too, but sometimes you need to speak up! With humor, if possible. I understand that maybe you weren't trusting your self to respond rationally because your mood is snappy and cranky at times.

WIP, I imagined I was walking around the neighborhood with you. It felt wonderful. I used to visit my parents when they lived in Ft. Meyers many years ago. Just thinking about the walk brought back memories of walking with them in their yard and neighborhood...Dad loved his grapefruit trees and crab traps! Mmmm, fresh grapefruit for breakfast, right off the tree! I didn't drink back then other than moderate, occasional. I have memories of that time there with my young children and husband. Good memories. Thanks!
Good AF day to all!

[retteacher]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Hi: We had our dinner club over last night. Right before everyone came, I got a little nervous anticipation about it. I actually remember saying to myself (as I have many times before): "Gee, I could use "something" to take the edge off." Instead, I scanned my body for tense spots & relaxed them...I often feel tension in my abdomen & chest. That seemed to do the trick. I felt a little twinge as I watched my husb open the wine & pour for people, but that passed quickly.

Slowing down is such a great suggestion. I'm going to remember that. Also, eating something helps.

I'll be back later. The important thing is that we didn't drink!

Mary

[ready2change]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Morning Abbers!!

Congrats Mary, as I said, your a bigger woman than I am. Hosting a dinner party would be a huge trigger for me.

Hi ya ABP...crabiness is par for the course. And it would be if you are drinking as well. It is called one of our many emotions and we all have them, sober or drinking. So relax...it's okay, soon they too will pass.

Stargirl...if that is not typical behavior for your boyfriend, perhaps he was in some sort of mood? Maybe you two can talk about it this morning and work it out? Good luck to you.

Dill...don't we just love memories? Especially the good ones. Personally, I have a difficult time with my childhood memories. The ones I seem to be able to recall aren't all the special, if you know what I mean. But yesterday, hubby and I went for a bike ride and there is this new candy store in town that specializes in all the candy from my childhood (60's) and it brought back floods of memories. Was really fun browsing around in there.

AA...yep, it's not all about us (well most of the time it IS about ME) but not so much about our drinking. I do have high hopes for my life once I get a good chunk of sobriety under my belt, but seeing what others that have already accomplished that say about a life turnaround, I will try not to hold my expectations too high, so as not to be too disappointed. But I know that just in and of itself, being AF has to be a lifechanging event...and a personal achievement, so for that I will be proud.

WIP...I'm jealous of your time in Florida...sounds so fulfilling and good for your soul. I hope you get to spend a bit of time there and relax and have some fun. You deserve it. Keep us posted.

Well, yesterday I had complete resolve to not drink. I was busy all day, then around 3p.m. I just kind of lost all energy, became really tired and perhaps a bit cranky. Hubby and I were going back out to get some pizza and salad from a restaurant downtown to take home. Normally this would mean we would pop into the bar for some wine while we waited. I made peace with myself that this would be okay...just tonight, then I would stop again. He even made a joke as we fed the parking meter, how long should he put money in for, since it would be difficult to keep ME out of the bar. (Hubby is an alkie too). I just laughed at him. We went right in, got our pizza and left. Neither one of us ever mentioned the bar other than how empty it looked for a Sat. nite. Whew....made it past that one...and feel so much better this a.m. for having done that.

So beware...AL is always lurking, waiting for his opportunity. Damn, I shoulda got a taco....(that's my new diversion to AL). Have a great day all.

R2C

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Good morning to all in Ab-Land! I will probably miss folks but please know I am saying hello and good day to ALL who have already posted and those yet to come!

Hula - that is wonderful that hubby has just quietly stopped drinking! I'm sure that is good for him and also will make your journey easier. It's nice being on a completely level field with one's parter (at least *I* like that neither of us indulge in mind/mood altering addictive substances any more!). Not required, but nice.

Star, I LOVE watching gymnastics but have not gotten into in as deeply as the figure skating. I assume you must follow the latest news and maybe even watch events on the internet? I'd be interested in some of your web site recommendations if you have any! Good for you getting in touch with an old friend. For me and I think many of us, drinking used to be a very social thing - something we started doing WITH other people. For me, the early drinking years never involved drinking alone. But somewhere along the way that changed and eventually I reached a stage where I did not even WANT to be with others - not even while drinking. I wanted to just be left alone at home with my bottle. How on earth did that happen over time without me even realizing the significance of that change???

R2C and Sausage - I feel for you both with hubby's who not only drink but would LOVE for you to do it with them. It's not worth it though!!!!

Sausage - what is rocket? Somehow I think I've asked you that before but I forgot!

ABP and Star - I too felt that edginess and irritability especially early on. Of course part of that is and edginess that comes from what AA described - a need to learn how to deal with our problems differently. I do think a part of that edginess is physical in the early stages of sobriety, and I found that L-Tryptophan helps stabilize my moods in an "all day" type fashion. I have gone for periods without taking it, but I just feel better overall when I take it, so I take it. For more time specific mood stabilization early on, I really liked GABA. I would take a GABA right before events that I knew would make me edgy. I haven't felt the need in a long time, but I found it very helpful in the early days. Neither of those supplements circumvent the need for us to work on our stuff - they just help in the "calm" department - at least they did for me. I'm much better able to work on my issues when I'm calm. I can't do it when I'm wound up tight.

WIP- that is a LONG drive! St. Augustine is so beautiful. Have you been to the very old church there - IIRC it's a Presbyterian (sp) church - it's a historical monument? My brother used to be the business / building manager at that church. Quite a task but it sure is a beautiful historic site. Best wishes to you as you purge the old lonely memories and create a gorgeous spot for some beautiful new ones.

Hi to Dill! I love your avatar by the way. Morning coffee is what I think of, and I'm usually drinking that at the time of day I'm here most often!

AA - that was a rockin' good post. I love your posts. Thank you for still taking time to check in and share your wisdom.

Mary - I love reading about your relaxation techniques and all the stuff you are working on to deal with urges and stressful situations. Between you and WIP you've got me (finally!) thinking I need to look further into meditation.

Now that I've caught up and posted, I'm late leaving for my SMART face to face meeting! Will check in again later... Happy Sober Sunday!

DG

[Mohun]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Mary, congrats on day 18 (you're right, it is easy to remember). May we always share the same date.

Stargirl, in defense of men (me being one sometimes), he probably didn't notice you cleaned the house. Also, his dinner should always be served in front of the t.v.. Talking is ok, but only during commercials (unless they involve cars or sports). Also, men don't talk as much as women. He probably said "goodnight" in his head, as he used up our daily allowance of words (that being 102).

While I'm at it (and my wife can't see me typing), when men are doing repairs around the house and we are in an awkward position (under the sink) and ask for a tool to be passed down and we forget to say "please", don't get huffy. There are no "pleases" and "thank you's" on the construction site. :moon:

oops gotta go, here comes the missus...:wavin:

[Determinator]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Happy Sunday ABerooos!

well done everyone! Stargirl, it's times like that you will need to have an arsenal of coping skills at your avail. at first it's hard to even think of them as they are new healthy replacements for our old unhealthy standby, but in time they will become natural. I like WIP's stopping and breathing as it's utterly practical and really does work.

I listened to some "yoga nidra" audio last night instead of my normal hypno and found it really relaxing, so much so that I snoozed right through the end of it.

Mohun, don't be giving out all our secrets! hahahaha

Mary, AA, REady2, Dill Doggy, you all have a splendid garlic-infused day,

be well

[retteacher]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Thanks everyone. I do feel I jumped another hurtle, i.e. entertaining w/wine wo/drinking it. My husb knows I've been meditating but not that I've purposely giving up drink because of alcoholism. This AM, he mentioned that I've seemed more relaxed & focussed. Yes, the meditation has helped tremendously, but the fact that I'm hiding not my drinking & hangovers is the bigger change. It feels so good to be walking around w/my head held high. Mary

PS: Congrats Mo on day 18. Yes, we're together in sobriety.

[on my way]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

A quicky hi and bye, all is well in OMW land. The weekend here goes much more smoothly when I don't focus on al. Got up early went to church, dinner is made and I'm out the door to yet another soccer game, I LOVE IT!!

nat

[dill]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

:goodjob: Mary, I absolutely could not do it! You must have a strong character and a spine of steel! :goodjob:

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

I blew it last night. Had a couple of family-in-law people attack me out of no where. I dumped this all on the F*CK thread in subs; so I will spare you the details.

I feel and look like shit today. I am also pissed off that I let them bother me so badly and I gave in. My father in law actually sent me a nasty email calling me a f*cking drunken bitch and told me to F Off.

I cannot believe it. Why they felt compelled to lash out at me, blows my mind. Why can't they just leave me alone?

[stargirl]

AF Daily Sun January 18th 2009

Oh, afm
Please, please don't beat yourself up hun. Who the heck is someone to call you something so nasty? I honestly have trouble understanding how people can be so crule. Hang in there. Today is a NEW day. It's officially behind you and one of those nasty lessons we have to learn as alcoholics is that we can't dwell on our mistakes. It's just not worth it.....learn from, but don't dwell on. I
I would steer clear of those people if I were you.
Take care, and keep your chin up.