AF Daily - January 29, 2009

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Mohun, I am up at 5am most mornings. Although I am on a layoff a the moment, I still very much love my early mornings.

Greenie, you are doing so very well with all that you've got going on. You are a pillar of strength!

Love to the rest of you. xoxoxoxo

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Hi everyone

Today's discussion is very relevant to me as I'm finding it difficult at the moment - a lot harder than I have done in the last couple of months and I'm not reall sure why.

The thing I don't get is - why is it so hard to get back on the waggon after days, weeks months of sobriety and just one drink. Why can we / I not summon the enerygy straight away to do a spell of AF again. I just don't get it, eg for me after I spoiled my run of AF days (107) in May, it was months before I had the will power to do a decent AF stretch again and I don't know why. This is what frightens me, more than the thought that i may have more drinks than is healthy for me in a single evening. It is the thought that if i do have a drink tonight - even if it is only a couple of glasses of wine - how long would it be before I had another AF day again, - probably weeks or even months and this is scary.

I sometimes sniff at a glass of wine when my husband is drinking it - strangely now, red wine smells awful to me - I just don't like the smell at all, so I wonder if i'd actually like the taste? - I used to be a big fan of red wine and enjoy the aroma. I actually wonder about white wines too - some that I smell I really don't like at all any more (am probably developing more of a sweet taste for drinks) , although I am sure I could aquire the taste again - or certainly the taste for the effect! -that's the scary thing!

[sunshine_gg]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Hi there Ablanders!

I told myself it was ok to have just 'one' drink/evening of drinking after 2 days AF. I couldn't even do 3 in a row. I think I'm with stargirl on this... I've never been serious about getting away from AL until probably 2-3 weeks ago. I allowed myself to drink after the first time I managed 7 days... 8 days actually, it was on day 9 I wanted to 'reward' myself.

It was horrendous. I have probably never been THAT drunk before... ever. Since then, like Charlee, I too, have finally accepted that I CAN NOT DRINK. Period. Now, how this is going to hold up over time remains to be seen.. but for now, the ramifications of me drinking are still very fresh in my mind and there is NO WAY, I'm going back there.

You guys are all a great inspiration - thank you.

[kitkatsue]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Goodmorning!

Alot of great posts, good food for thought.

Feeling a little defeated today, I woke up sober with all the usual issues still staring at me.
Not as if I haven't woke up that way for the last 50 day but for some reason today I just feel really irritated about the lack of direction in my life.
Being unemployed isn't helping, I worked for the same company for 14 years, and the last 3 I was really unhappy. So I quit, that was before companies started laying people off like they were disposable tissue, anyway that is all a really long story. My future is so unclear at the moment, this would be one of those times I would give in and drink, but I don't want to. And on top of it all my car is breaking down, the transmission has a very bad leak.

I know there are so many others going through alot harder times that is why I hate to complain, but I got it off my chest.

DG- I have told myself that lie to many times.

Speedster- I'm glad your meeting was a success.

WIP- Goodluck with herding those cats

Retteacher - Your right it is a destrutive force, I really see that.

Charlee- I am happy I am not in the hospital either to many trips there and to many bills from there as it is.

Accountable - I'm sorry about your family troubles, I am almost thankful that mine could care less weather I live or die. ( except for mom ) Keep those happy thoughts !!


I hope everyone has a wonderful day!! I am going to lose myself in a book, I have been reading Twilight, and I really like it.

Sorry if I missed anyone!!

kit

[skootiemom]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Good Moaning Abbers!

Raining and cold her on the Wet coast, but at least I am not dealing with a fog in my head.

Speedster- your drinking patterns are me exactly. The big outings are a piece of cake compared to the afternoon/ nights in... cooking with an open bottle. For the last few weeks, I have simply been cooking less and have a new found love for Mcdonalds!!!

Doggygirl- I have gone back into the archives and have read alot about your journey. Your thoughts and writing skills leave me in awe and inspired. At Day 27 today- I have been doing the - "if I only let loose once a month thing" in my head, but your post has swiftly brought that little pipedream back into perspective for me.

Accountable- the 5 am thing is really wigging me out here... lol! What time do you go to bed?

Deter- drive safe.

WIP- loved your comment about 'hearding cats'- so very true. I co-ordinated electricians/ millwrights, architechts all day yesterday....

And to everyone else- thank you for for being here. Although I am still struggling to put together a 'plan" for day 31 and beyond, I know that coming here everyday is a MUST!

Cheers,

Skoots

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Hi again - am really struggling tonight - really want a drink and I'm on day 88 AF - it would be such a shame to spoil it, - to be honest, i've seen it coming as those of you who follow this thread will have realised over the last couple of days. i've even posted on the "need help immediately" thread hoping someone can "sort me out". Not sure whats started this off really - am just fed up with my AF life.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Sausage: For me it's not so much about spoiling an AF run. For me, it's that I would be right in the very bad predicament that I was in before I came to MWO. In fact, during the period of lapsing and absing that I did for most of 2008, I was absolutely AWFUL when I did drink. I drank to get drunk every single time I drank. I didn't even pretend I just "wanted to take the edge off." It was full-out drunken drinking. Perhaps if you think about your last drinking episode, you might be able to quell the craving. I think about ordinary drinking days where I spent the whole day drinking (& covering it up), & then the whole next day trying to recover physically & emotionally.

Also, I do not go near wine. I don't look at it...nor do I smell it. If it's in the fridge for guests, I hide it behind something so I won't see it every time I open the door.

I hope this helps. If you are really serious about a committment to abs, then do not drink today. If you wait, eat something, do something, call someone, etc. the feeling will pass.

Good luck, Mary

[Janice]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Not much time today to read or post but must pop in to say Hi. Sausage, I've pm'd you, I'm worried for you.....please stay strong.

love Janicexxx

[Pamina]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Another day of trains and airports. I'm back at my Dad's place now, and taxes await... (sigh).

Sausage - sprinkle some nice aromatherapy oil into a bath, have a soak and climb into bed. Or watch a favourite DvD. This 3-month mark seems to be some sort of a bump in the road for you, and the very first thing is to get past it. Hang in there, your thoughts will clear as to what is so 'boring' about your AF life (which IS your life) and what you can do about it. For now, take it one hour at a time. Today is almost in the bag.

WIP - safe travels.

Good night, all.

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

I've got through the night thanks to everyone here and on my need help immediately thread. I feel a lot better. I'm so glad I didn't drink. I agree there seems to be something about this 3 month mark which makes it tough for me - but i've learned that some others have found it tough around this time too. I feel a bit stronger as a result of all that's happened tonight and all the support i've had too. Thanks again everyone. I'll be back tomorrow - I'm still a non drinker and i intend to stay that way!!

[stargirl]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Sausage...way to kick butt tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, and like it or not we will all still be here for you Really though. Good work

[sunshine_gg]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Well done, Sausage! Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day for you! :l

[MyOwnWoman]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

Hi Abbers!
For a very very long time I've aspired to join in the abbers club in this section, but wouldn't allow myself to post here until I had been AF for 30 consecutive days. And now I am!

33 days, to be exact, and feeling great. I don't have any urges, I'm getting used to being sober on the nights I used to drink (the nights my daughter is with her dad). Though I'm thinking it's probably a good idea to hang out here once in awhile to remind myself that the beast may sneak up on me at any time. The above posts, about thinking "maybe just one or two" becoming hell, are just what I need to remember. I don't fantasize about being able to drink someday - I'm so completely turned off of the idea... but again, I know it may sneak up and I need to keep my defenses strong.

Have a great night all!
MOW

[hulagirl]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

good night every. Body . Lots of great inspirations today to help me and I thank you for that

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - January 29, 2009

SAUSAGE;532310 wrote: I'm finding it difficult at the moment - a lot harder than I have done in the last couple of months and I'm not reall sure why.

The thing I don't get is - why is it so hard to get back on the waggon after days, weeks months of sobriety and just one drink. Why can we / I not summon the enerygy straight away to do a spell of AF again. I just don't get it, eg for me after I spoiled my run of AF days (107) in May, it was months before I had the will power to do a decent AF stretch again and I don't know why.

I sometimes sniff at a glass of wine when my husband is drinking it - strangely now, red wine smells awful to me - I just don't like the smell at all, so I wonder if i'd actually like the taste? - I used to be a big fan of red wine and enjoy the aroma. I actually wonder about white wines too - some that I smell I really don't like at all any more (am probably developing more of a sweet taste for drinks) , although I am sure I could aquire the taste again - or certainly the taste for the effect! -that's the scary thing!

Sausage, Sausage! You are THINKING ABOUT ALCOHOL TOO MUCH. If you keep this up, you WILL start drinking again! Why let it be such a BIG DEAL in your head???

1. Why is it that it is so difficult (your first question): It doesn't matter why!!!! It just matters that we know that it is true!!

2. Whether or not you would like the taste of this or that (your second question): Again, IT DOESN'T MATTER!! It just matters that you know what it does to you!!!