AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

[AAthlete]

Wow, been awhile since I've started one of these - everybody else must be sleeping in! Happy Saturday morning to everyone.

So, are you a 'glass half full' or 'glass half empty' person? I was thinking about this and realized that in order for me to truly enjoy my sobriety I had to start looking at life optimistically, or with my glass half full. So much of my energy had been focused on the perceived wrongs that people had done to me, or even things that I thought they might do in my head. As I sobered up and really started evaluating my life I realized how defeating that viewpoint was, and came to understand that I could never stay sober if I continued to follow that path. These days, a positive mental attitude each and every day is my goal. May not always stay that way (there will always be hiccups along the way), but if I can recognize it and gently try to get it back on the general path then the day usually turns out okay.

So, here's hoping that everybody's glass is half-full today..

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Morning Gia, that leg of lamb sounds wonderful - hope you made enough for everyone here!

Supposed to be 52 degrees today, so I think an outside bike ride is going to be in order. My first race is less then a month away so any training rides are hugely beneficial!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Good morning AA and Gia and all to come. AA - glass half full or empty is an awesome topic! I feel blessed as through life's ups and downs over the years, I tend to naturally see the glass half full. I don't know why, but I absoutely agree with you that all things in life are easier and more pleasant when I'm looking for the positives in everything.

One of my former bosses told a good story (I suspect it's some sort of classic - I doubt he made it up himself!) about twin boys on a farm. Dad sent them to clean out the barn and it was a MESS! One big 'ol pile of poo. It was hot and there were lots of flies. One of the boys complained non-stop about the hard work, the stench, the flies and the heat. The other boy shoveled with excitement and enthusiasm. The first boy asked the second boy why he was so happy what with the stench and flies and all. The second boy said "with all this shit there must be a pony in here somewhere!" My boss gave everyone a little toy pony that day and I kept it on my desk for a long time.

AA enjoy that bike ride today. Where is your first race? If it's near home turf I hope the weather STAYS warm. I'm off to Curves and then I'll see where the day leads me! Mr. Doggy will be at dog training today, but tomorrow I might see what he thinks about setting up an area in the garage or basement to try to start some seeds for spring. I will need OMW (and anyone else with green thumb) advice on this!

Have a great day all!

DG

[Janice]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Good morning AA and Gia!!! A good topic for today AA!!! I come from a family who's thinking was always negative. Growing up, the only time mam and dad seemed to enjoy each other's company was late at night sitting with a glass, when they were picking someone to pieces or complaining that this, that and the other wasn't right!!

A few years ago, it was my husband who made me realise that I was just the same and always saw the glass as half empty rather than half full.

This came as quite a shock, that this was the way he saw me and it has made me much more aware of how important staying positive is in my sobriety and my emotional well being. If I'm feeling positive, I'm on top of the world and can take on anything.....as soon as those negative feelings come creeping in then so do those drinking thoughts along with those dark dark thoughts and feelings of low self esteem. Its a vicious circle isn't it?? Kate mentions a life plan on the new 30day+ thread on longterm abstainers and I know that this would have to be on the top of my list.

The big question is how do we stay positive?? Exercise helps me but I know I'm not doing enough right now and meditation I'm exploring. What about everyone else??

Good topic AA, thanks.

Be back later,

Janicexxx

[Janice]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Hi DG, we cross posted!!!! Now there is one positive member!!!!

love Janicexxx

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

There's no question that having a positive attitude makes everything better! Sometimes it is hard, and it depends on our personalities and how we were brought up I guess. I try to look at the bright side of life--as I'm a little afraid of putting bad vibes out there for the universe to "see". I live with a perfectionist, pessimistic husband! He says that way he's never disappointed. Whatever!! Sometimes it is really hard to be around someone that acts like Eeore!!! I can tell when he has been hanging around the same type of people at work as well--then he is worse. (Especially when he watches the news)
I'm not saying I'm a happy, bubbly, sweet person all the time--that I am not. But I do agree it is easier to see the glass 1/2 full when sober! That is the first step, but how do we stay that way--practice I guess!! And don't watch the news!!

Well, I've got one son off to his tournament, time to get the other one on his way!
Have a great weekend all! Looks like we get one more decent day, then snow tomorrow!

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Morning, folks

Goodness me, time flies. Det and Beck - ONE YEAR!!!! Fantastic!!

:wave:

Hope you both had an amazing celebration!

Janice - is it more tea and sympathy for you today? Feeling any better?

Thanks for all the comments on the drinking rituals issue. I'm sure it is indeed an ingrained, symbolic hospitality/bonding thing which makes it feel so rude to deviate from. Still, my aim is to cut back on excessive cranberry juice consumption by a. drinking more slowly (thanks for that observation, gluggers!) b. taking breaks from the rounds c. limiting the time I spend at these gatherings.

I have another immediate challenge coming up soon. We leave tomorrow for a work trip to the continent and have invited around 100 people to a reception on Monday night. The guy organising it told me, proudly, that he's lined up enough booze for 250 people. Well, yay, there's me (NOT) jumping for joy! I know I'll be fine with my mineral water, but I just haven't been in these situations for a while, and that gave me a jolt.

Great topic, AA, on focusing on the positive. And just read your post, DG - I love the toy pony story. Yes, I agree it's really important but pretty complex as well. At least for those of us trying to train ourselves out of self-defeating patterns. A friend of mine was raving about a book on this very topic last night. I'll try to find the details.

For now, I need to get myself organised for tomorrow's departure.

Happy sober Saturday everybody.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Janice;540693 wrote: I come from a family who's thinking was always negative. Growing up, the only time mam and dad seemed to enjoy each other's company was late at night sitting with a glass, when they were picking someone to pieces or complaining that this, that and the other wasn't right!!

A few years ago, it was my husband who made me realise that I was just the same and always saw the glass as half empty rather than half full.

This came as quite a shock, that this was the way he saw me and it has made me much more aware of how important staying positive is in my sobriety and my emotional well being.

Wow, Janice, that was my family, too! I was an only child and I spent my childhood and adolescent years watching and listening to that way of being... both the "with a glass" part, and the negativity part. I have beaten the "glass" part, thank God, but like you say, the "staying positive" part is really just as important. Why be sober if life is spoiled by negative thinking? What's the point?

For me, the "how to do it" involves being very committed to monitoring my thoughts and my speech (this is actually a big part of Buddhist teaching). Remembering that I can choose to dwell on negative thoughts, or I can shift away from them and cultivate a positive viewpoint; remembering that I am in control over my tongue (and online, my fingers!), and can choose to cultivate the positive in what I say... that helps, a lot.

Meditation, which is (in part) a way to train our minds to pay attention to what we CHOOSE to pay attention to, is a very important pre-requisite, for me, to being mindful about sticking with the positive, and letting the negative stuff pass away. It does, if we let it. We need not feed and water it...

I started up a 90-day Meditation Challenge in the general discussion threads. If anyone wants to participate, come on over there. It might turn out to be a good way to have some buddies helping each other to develop a new practice to support our AF and more-positive ways of living!

[lilmea]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Morning all,
DG- Love the story.

I use to be a half full girl. But my husband and most of my immediate family are very negative. Combine that with my heavy drinking and I had become a very negative person. It's really a terrible feeling and takes all the joy out of life. I didn't realize how bad it had got until I was AF for about a week. I started to seeing that things weren't that bad. That my life could get better.

My thinking had started to change. I think some of it is my natural optimistic personality is reamerging. But I really believe all the optimisim and hope and "good vibes" that I have incountered here on this site has rubbed off on me.

I'm with LVT25 and don't watch the news. I've started putting some space between some of my family and myself. It is difficult sometimes with my husband. He is so pessimistic and somewhat controling. But not letting myself get drawn into the action/reaction cycle has help. Maybe some of my optimisim will rub off on him. I have added daily exercise. It has really helped.

As Janice said, optomisim is vey important in my life plan.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Hi Everyone: I'm a pretty optimistic person. Maybe that's why I remained hopeful about giving up AL even through all of the lapses I had last year. I must be mindful of my thinking though. I can fall into negativity & resentment which I know is my #1 enemy in terms of pushing me into drinking. That's why I've been trying to keep any & all conflicts out in the open. Mary

[gyco]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

hi AA.as always think b4 you speak,good post,ive recently found my glitch,and my better half kind of grind when i told her,dear i assume to much,i assume someone is thinking the worst of me,she grind and bared it,in my eyes she said,god this fella is maybe finally getting it,i dont assume nothing,its that look,again i assume the worst,man and ive lived for how many years hahaha,by the way i recently involved myself in AA,again.slowly this time have a good day AA,dont strain no muscles gyco

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Morning!

A beautiful Saturday here. Maybe we will get that picnic in down by the beach today. That would be nice.

As for my glass: It is always half full. Even with all of the horrid/tragic times I have experienced in the past couple of years - I still manage to find something to be happy or grateful about.

Have a great day!

[Pan]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

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[retteacher]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Hi Everyone: I just read a long, involved thread on the long-term abs thread. It involved posts & threads on other forums here at MWO. I just want to thank all of the regulars & newcomers to this thread. In my experience, it has never been anything but:
-supportive
-informative
-inspiring
-interesting.

I don't stray much from this or the toolbox thread. I want to stay abs for life. I cannot read about mod or planning "sensible" drinking. I've tried that too many times to kid myself into thinking I can do it.

This site & this thread in particular has been responsible for the so-far small success I've achieved. I just want to thank each & every one of you who contribute here regularly.

Mary

[kitkatsue]

AF Daily - Saturday Feb 7th

Glass half full, glass half empty. Depends on what kind of day I'm having, but then if I were more positive inspite of what was happening in each day, or not happening, that would make a difference. Hmm

"You've got to accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and latch on to the affirmative and never give in to mister in between"

A song I heard once