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    #46
    It's finally out in the open

    Everyone:

    It's Thurs. night...almost a week after that awful episode. I took my dog out for his first long walk in a week. I haven't wanted to go out of the house for fear that one of my neighbors will ask about the big rukus at our house last Fri. I'm resuming my old life of exercise, meditation, but more importantly, I've decided to get a sponsor & work the 12 steps. I've got someone in mind who we've known for 20 years. He's in both Alanon & AA. I can't keep trying to tackle this problem alone. It hasn't worked for me. This site, MWO, has been huge in helping me see what I'm up against w/this drinking problem. I thank God for all of you. Mary
    Wisdom, Courage, Strength
    October 3, 2012

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      #47
      It's finally out in the open

      Mary
      You are getting that positive attitude back in your posts.....A nice ending to Thursday evening...
      sobriety date 11-04-07

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        #48
        It's finally out in the open

        Hi Mary,
        Been thinking of you. I hope you have decided not to go on with the idea of "re-enacting" the dinner party for last week. I would think it would be humiliating for you, and uncomfortable for your hubby and friends. I am sure not trying to tell you what to do, but it just sounded like more of a negative outcome than a positive one.

        I went to a wedding reception several weeks ago that turned horrible for me, so I feel still emotionally on the mend from that.

        Glad you have some plans in place. We are here for each other.

        xoxo
        CS

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          #49
          It's finally out in the open

          cso4: I have decided not to do that. It's too much pressure for my very fragile ego. I've just been going from day to day & feeling a little better each day. I'm going to ask someone to sponsor me in doing the 12 steps of AA & Alanon. I think that kind of work is what I need to do right now. Mary
          Wisdom, Courage, Strength
          October 3, 2012

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            #50
            It's finally out in the open

            Hi Mary, I just saw this thread and wanted to say my heart goes out to you. Like everyone else I feel SO bad that this happened to you, but can see the good that can come out of it. You have always been such a steady person on this forum and I really appreciate you. I know you will succeed again ... you are such a determined lady.

            As far as "ruining" 2009, please don't think of it that way ... you still have 10+ months of potential sobriety ahead of you (plus the rest of your life). That's the perfectionist in you talking!!!

            I'm thinking about you!

            xoxox
            Lisa

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              #51
              It's finally out in the open

              Hi Mary

              Just saw this thread - i've been away for a week (went away the day of your dinner party) so no opportunity to get on line. Just to say, i'm thinking of you - you are so strong, keep going, sorry to hear about what happened but use it as a building block and KEEP GOING - sounds like you are doing just that - I think the AA / alanon idea is an excellent one and of course we are all here for you on here. Spotty dingo made an excellent point above - you have not ruined 2009 - do not look at it like that -(that was where I went wrong in May 08 last year and I drank again for weeks after 107 days) - think of all the success you've had over the last weeks, just keep going, put yourself back on drinktracker and keep going. Virtually everyone on here has embarassing stories to tell - you are just more honest than most.

              Take care, i'm thinking of you

              Sausage xx

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                #52
                It's finally out in the open

                It's been 11 days since that awful incident in the ER. I've been trying to put the whole thing behind me, but I'll carry it around in the back of my mind forever...& I'm not sure that's a bad thing. I did get a sponsor & started working the 12 steps of AA. Additionally, I've gotten info about where to go to AA meetings. I'm taking my sobriety one day at a time at this point. So far so good. The friends who witnessed the whole debacle have been unbelievably supportive. I feel that my "perfect dignified lady" image is shattered & a more authentic me is taking its place. That's a good thing.

                MWO has been so important to me. I thank everyone. Mary
                Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                October 3, 2012

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                  #53
                  It's finally out in the open

                  Just to say much as the others have really. That must have been horrifyng for you, this way everyone knows the issue and the extent and you will not have to carry your secret with you alone, which probably helps prevent true recovery in any event.


                  From what you say you have handled this with the utmost dignity and courage for which I commend you and I wish you GREAT GOOD LUCK for today tomorrow and whatever plan you will now choose to undertake. I hope this sire helps you as I am finding it helps me

                  Moo
                  "The greatest thing in the world is not so much where we are,
                  but in what direction we are moving."

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