AF Daily - Monday 16th February

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Is it your boyfriend "not minding" that matters? Or your own goals? It's all up to you, you know...

[speedster]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

ThatGirl, don't do it. Two feet in to being AF. You're mood and belly will improve faster being AF.

[ThatGirl]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

A Work in Progress;550010 wrote: Is it your boyfriend "not minding" that matters? Or your own goals? It's all up to you, you know...

I'm doing this for my boyfriend, unfortunately I have yet to find a reason within my own self to stay sober

[on my way]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

charlee;549797 wrote: The house was cleaned, the meals were on the table, the bills have been paid, I held down a full time job..yet every morning I woke up feeling like crap, did it all over again and again.....Freedom covers alot more than just the "grips of AL".....I am content....

Charlee, how I agree. Now my family and my health are first priority. I don't worry about who I need to fool. Or if our house is a dump.... family comes first.

I have not talked about this....well I did not know anything so there really was nothing to say. I had a breast cancer scare over the last week and have good results back now. I'll spare you the ugly details but all my tests results are back and all is well. Ahhhhhh.

Girls get your mammy! In the last 5 years, 3 close friends have been diagnosed with BC, one is no longer here.

[charlee]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

OMW...So glad to hear the results are good....whew!

After many years of making and breaking appointments, last year I committed to scheduling all the necessaries......and I kept them!!!!...Just another plus when you are in "gratitude mode"........

Mary, glad you checked in......I would not, nor would I want to, have a "do over" of events....one lump in the mashed potato's would probably do me in, and I would be burning that outfit, as it would be a constant reminder to me....Gosh, you are one brave soul for even contemplating the idea....Only you know how you feel both mentally and physically........make sure you are taking care of Mary.....

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Hello all!

Mary, you were at the top of my hand written list to say hello to today, and what a good lead in from WIP! (hi WIP!). Just being honest here, imagining a "re-do" of any of the many humiliating drinking experiences I've had seems.... I don't know. All I can suggest Mary is to PUT YOURSELF FIRST for a time here, and do those things that will give you the best chance of getting sober for good. I'm sure that is what your husband, children and friends ALL want for you. If that means a re-do, by all means ask them to support you in doing it. If that means burning that outfit on a bonfire, then by all means do that. I also agree with WIP that if drinking really is NOT an issue for your family members and friends, then it will NOT be a big deal to them to have dinners and get togethers and outings without alcohol. Whatever works to protect your sobriety.

Mo - I'm sorry to hear about the drinking choice but am glad to see you right back here. That's WAY better than doing what I did which was stay in the dirt for weeks and months. I'm sorry to hear about the layoffs you are involved in. Been there and I don't know which is worse - being on the side of the lay off-ee or the lay off-er. Hang in there - you already know a bad hangover won't help the situation.

Gia, I was happy for you to read about your success staying AF Saturday night and also having fun! Good for you! The more times we do these things AF, the easier they get. If you find that the Melatonin is not helping you sleep, another one to try is Valerian Root. Melatonin does NOTHING for me but Valerian did help before I figured out that low progesterone was causing my sleep problems and fixed that.

Det - What is it with Pink Floyd this year? I'm not complaining! But is there an anniversary or something going on related to Pink Floyd? The top two ice dance teams in the World are both skating to it this year, and stuff like Pink Floyd is not exactly common among the many other over used figure skating music choices! (now Carmen on the other hand....) Anyway, the Canadians Virtue and Moir do the first half of their Free Dance to Dark Side of the Moon and they had me totally sucked in! Then the music abruptly cut to Money (strange sequence, and REALLY badly done cut) which broke the mood for me. Anyway...wish I could have gone with you and Dx!

Welcome Thatgirl. I like to have lots of tools in my arsenal. I used the supplements and hypnosis CD's from MWO to get me started. I still take some supplements but have migrated towards a unique blend of things for me. I do not eat sugar in my diet aside from what comes naturally in a limited amount of fruits. I exercise. I also work the SMART Recovery program. I go to a local SMART face to face meeting every week. I went to my first ever AA meeting yesterday. LOL I have lots of padding now between me and the bottle!

Janice it sounds like your week off has gotten a great start with the gardening!

Kirova - congrats on your success with SB Diet. Cutting out the really high carb stuff definitely helps with weight loss and cravings! I can relate.

charlee and AA - your talk of agendas got me thinking. charlee I was a bit opposite of you I think before getting sober. I reached a point where I really wasn't getting much of anything done. Everything got put off until "tomorrow" when I would not drink (yeah right) and be more productive. My house was a filthy mess and Mr. Doggy was doing the majority of the grocery shopping which mainly meant keeping enough frozen pizza and peanut butter in the house to stave off starvation. And picking up fast food of course. If you've seen my before picture, you KNOW I wasn't actually starving. So for me, it's actually been a joy to HAVE a list of things to do (agenda) and actually git 'er done! I'm still enjoying that productive feeling! There are aspects of my personality though that will benefit from me learning to stay in the "now" and not worry excessively about things in the future that I cannot control. I love my Monday yoga teacher who is helping me take some baby steps there. Anyway....I love the insights that both of you offer - I'm so glad that you post here as it benefits all of us who are following you down the sober path!!

Greenie we planted a few hundred daffodils out and about in our yard last fall. We hope they survived the winter. I will think of you when (if) the first ones pop up!

One of my dogs just farted loudly. It was Kimba. And here I thought she was a girly girl princess type.

So kitkatsue - was it painting? Or back to bed???

Welcome Speedster to the Daily AF thread. I can relate to what you describe about mods not working. For me it was just a fantasy that somehow justified me carrying on with problem drinking behavior. Once I truly accepted that I CANNOT drink, this whole thing really did get a lot easier for me.

There is lots I feel I want to write out about the upcoming event on Wednesday where AL might be calling my name, and also the AA meeting yesterday which I found interesting. But now I have to go do a couple work things so will write more when I come back!

Hope everyone is having a great AF Monday.

DG

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Mo: Goodness gracious! What's happening here! I'm not sure what to do w/myself.

Friends: Thank God for all of you here. I can't say more at this point. I'll be back, but for now, I have to regroup! Mary

[Mohun]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Well, I'm off to the airport. I can't check in again until Friday (unless I use my blackberry). It should be a real test.

I am recommitting myself to another 30 days (today is day 1). Somehow making the commitment, I know I can do it.

Mo.

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Late checking in today. Hubby had me out and about early dealing with cow issues. I won't go into any details--but it involved a very long plastic sleeve and the tail end of 2 cows.

Anyway--so much going on here to even comment on, EXCEPT--feel compelled to give you my first reaction to your "do-Over" Mary. I cringed. How would this help you exactly? Do you (or your hubby) think you have something to "prove" to your friends? It was a horrible experience and you are bound to be humiliated and embarressed. Why relive it again? the pain and embarressment will pass with time (or at least lessen). You may just find out who the real friends are. It's not the end of the world--you know (and now so do others) that you have a problem, but you are trying SO HARD to get better. Now instead of worrying about hiding everything you can call on your family and friends for support. If you think reliving that night over again will help you then of course it's your choice. But please don't torture yourself because your hubby thinks you should.

Ok, I better quit--I don't usually lecture this much!! I am jealous of the gardening talk. Sometimes it almost seems cruel to have spring-like days in February!!!

I was in a foul mood last night because of all the drinking and drinking talk and drinking by in laws and hubby. I finally went to bed to "sleep it off". Ate too much all weekend--I've got to get a grip on that!! Not worth going into at this point--:h

OMW--I'm so glad your scare was unfounded!!!

Hope everyone enjoyed their day off (If you got one)

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Mary, great to see you checkin' in regularly. Hang tough OK?

Mo, you hang tough too. Travel safe and know that this week will pass and lay offs will happen and it will probably suck whether you drink or not. Drinking would only make it worse.

LVT, way many years ago I worked on a horse breeding farm. I remember those days, like you describe, with the mares. I hope all was OK and you found things as you hoped to find them. Congratulations on surviving the time with the in laws. I can't imagine spending longer than a few hours at a time with mine.

A few days ago I mentioned a social event coming up this next Wednesday evening that is a little different than any others I have worked through since getting sober. As a board member I will be acting a bit in a "host" capacity. It's work related and I realized over the weekend that it is bringing up feelings inside much like the crazy sales meetings did in the old corporate days. The truly obligatory "social" events. The kind where you CAN'T choose to leave. Obviously I'm no longer anyone's employee, and I really CAN leave if I want or need to, but there was just enough similarity to dredge up those old feelings. At least I think I know what was bothering me so much, so now I can get over it! My plan will be the same plan I always have for social events. Mr. Doggy is aware that I am having more angst than usual, at this stage of sobriety over this one. It will be good to have him there with me. I won't drink, I just hope not to work myself up into a miserable state over it LOL!! This will be good practice as these types of events will probably be part of my life sometimes for the forseeable future. Gotta learn how to deal.

I went with the leader of my SMART group to an Open AA meeting. The presenter was over 10 years sober, and I could really relate to so much of what he spoke about. One thing he said that really made me think is that when his wife passed away unexpectedly, he called an AA buddy of his at 4AM and that friend was there in 10 minutes and stayed by his side through the whole ordeal. I can certainly see where in circumstances like that, having a local face to face network would be beneficial. I love the little SMART group, but SMART doesn't have the huge membership of AA so there are only a few of us. That is limiting in several ways.

Anyway, I wish that religious references were not so prevalent in the AA program - I wish it was more like church and state! I know they say the "higher power" is whatever you want it to be, but yesterday's presentation was very Christian religiously grounded. I have nothing against that but do not want to mix it all up right now. So...in the interest of "staying in the now" I have the schedule, and will probably chose to go to some meetings and just see what happens.

Can any of you who participate in AA tell me what happens if I just show up at one of the closed meetings? Is there something I need to do before I go to fess up to my alcoholism and desire for recovery, or is that something I can take care of when I arrive?

One thing is for sure. I will take all the tools in my box that I can lay my grubby little mitts on!!

In good news, I sure love my Vitamix! This morning when I looked in the fridge and saw strawberries, I thought of chocolate covered strawberries. So I made us a chocolate protein shake with strawberries and bananas. It was awesome! I'm loving the addition of a little more fruit in my diet. I'm proceeding with caution though to make sure I don't overload even with natural sugars. So far so good.

Anyway....that's life in Doggyland! Happy AF Monday to all!

DG

[Mohun]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Hmmm. Looks like I can use my blackberry. No excuse not to check in now. Just sitting waiting for my flight.

[ThatGirl]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

W00t for me - for anybody who saw my earlier post, I didn't have that drink and am going to bed soon, hopefully will sleep better tonight than last night. Either way: 2 days down

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

You good unless you don't for some reason want to get the AA symbol tattoo'd on your butt!

JK DG, feel free to show up at the closed meeting - the only requirement AA has is that you have a desire to stop drinking. Normally at your first meeting they will 'first step' you, meaning that they will talk how alcohol had made their lives unmanageable and how they found a solution through AA. You will be amazed at how similar the stories are, and you will be given the chance to talk about your own if you would like - but it is not normally a requirement.

You will usually get a Big Book, and a meeting list with phone numbers to call. One point of clarification is that AA is a spiritual program, not a religious one. You choose your own concept of God - which was huge for me. Everyone's is different, you just need to find one you can live with.

Best of luck, and PM me if you need anything (I know you live in the vicinity)!

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

AA - PML I've got an old lady butt. So I laughed when I read your tattoo comment thinking about old Saturday Night Live episodes where they show the "aging" of the tattoos just above the butt cheeks. Not a pretty sight! :H Thanks for the info and also for the offer of help! Be careful what you wish for!

ThatGirl, I didn't see your other post but GOOD FOR YOU making it through the day. By choosing not to drink today you are setting yourself up for a great start on tomorrow hangover free and clear headed! :yougo:

Mo, it's great that you can check in!! Boy sitting in airports is no fun. I hope you brought a good book along.

DG

[momof3]

AF Daily - Monday 16th February

Hello All,

Just checking in after a long day...good one though.

My goodness, lots going on here!!

All I can say is that in the first few months of my sobriety, I absolutely had to put my sobriety first. For me, that meant no going out to social events where there was going to be lots of drinking, no entertaining/dinner at my home with Al, etc. I just had to really take the time to work on myself without the enticement of Al around me. I had to avoid many of the situations I associated with Al for a while. And, I think this new "void" in my life allowed me to find things to do/ways to be that were more fulfilling.

Once I felt that I was on steadier ground and was working toward lots of postive changes in my life, I was much more comfortable being around Al. I can go to a cocktail party now but even though I'm almost 10 months AF, I would definitely have an exit plan in place. I still don't keep open bottles of Al in my house. I feel solid in my sobriety but I don't want to tempt fate. I don't want to go through quitting all over again.