Feb 16th need to start over

[Trying Tessie]

I messed up. I need to start all over. This is Day 2 AF for me. I got caught up again. I am disappointed. I let stress wheel me in again.

[A Work in Progress]

Feb 16th need to start over

Glad you came back here! Back on the horse, eh? How about taking a look at your plan, maybe finding some places to tweak it a bit? What to do, for example, when stressful situations arise... good stuff about that in the "tool box" thread...

[Trying Tessie]

Feb 16th need to start over

Yeah I am trying again. I will look in the toolbox. I at least know that I must want this, because I keep coming back.

Thank you

[Marshy]

Feb 16th need to start over

Hi TT,

I messed up time and again trying to get alcohol out of my life. I'm sure most people here have. I know it's disappointing... but you're back here, you're working on it, and you CAN do it!

[speedster]

Feb 16th need to start over

TT, I'm back on Day 2 myself. I spent a good part of yesterday reading the toolbox thread, the MWO book, and the "why I hate AL thread".

I've come to agree that it is harder to moderate than it is to be AF. I reflected on what I would be missing and what I will be gaining being AF. The gains outweigh what I will miss.

I mainly need to bolster my plan for times when I'm in the kitchen alone. I tend to drink while cooking, cleaning, etc. and it's result is 10-15 lbs I don't need, heartburn I don't need, feeling sluggish in the morning, and then the mental scoldings for being lazy.

Work up a good plan and you can do it too!

[Trying Tessie]

Feb 16th need to start over

Yes I am working on a plan. I have made my list of why I hate AL. I went to church yesterday and felt terrible. I don't want to go to chuch with a hangover. I sneak and drink and then wonder why did I do that? I can't really tell anyone because then they will know if they don't already. I can't really be silly because then I am telling on myself. OH I AM JUST SO FRUSTRATED ABOUT IT. Sorry but I am yelling at mysel.

Thank you

[speedster]

Feb 16th need to start over

If you can get out for a short walk, even if it's just around the office building or down the street and back, it may be a step to alleviate the frustration. I was so frustrated with myself yesterday I was in tears. I rode my bike to return my library books and felt much clearer.

I made my I hate AL list and followed it with Why I love being AF list. It perked me up.

I'm working on being honest with myself. I try and view the frustration as positive progress. I'm at least recognizing I need to be doing something differently.

You too are aware of what you don't want and that recognition is a positive step.

Keep pluggin'!!!

[Trying Tessie]

Feb 16th need to start over

Yes I know I need to clear my head. I made some positive plans so hopefully I can follow through. I also need to check my spelling before I post. I was so frustrated I made a bunch of typos.

I really hate that I did some drunk dialing on my cell. Luckily they were not long conversations. YIKES.

[narilly]

Feb 16th need to start over

yup, I am back

I thought I could 'handle' drinking - it has been about 2 years since I have been back to this site. I have had 2 years of hangovers and stuggles with trying to drink moderately. Like Dr. Phil says: How is that workin' for ya? Well, it's not working, Dr. Phil.
So I went to an AA meeting last night, hung over and, well, I am back to My Way Out. I think I will use everything I can to beat this disease. Obviously moderation is not going to work for me. I read the tools link, that is very helpful.
I will beat this no matter how difficult it is.

[retteacher]

Feb 16th need to start over

Narilly: I too need to do whatever I can to beat this disease. I'm in it & it's a big opponent. Let's do this together. Mary

[narilly]

Feb 16th need to start over

thanks Mary

yes, we can do it together. Like they say, one day at a time. Last night at the AA meeting they kept telling me "be good to yourself" and "be easy on yourself". Right now I am having the hardest time with that because my self esteem/pride or whatever you want to call it really took a beating.

Anyway, what can we do about the past? Just focus on today and hold your head up.

Narilly

[Trying Tessie]

Feb 16th need to start over

Well today is day 3 for me. I hate to have to count the days but I will probably like it when I can get into the double digits. I feel hopeful. I just found out last night I am going to be a Grandmother. I am excited and this gives me a lot of motivation. I want to be an excellent Grandparent. To me it includes AF so I am really going to work on it.

[Doggygirl]

Feb 16th need to start over

Congrats on Day 3!!! WOO HOO!!! :yougo:

Celebrate each and every AF day if you want to. I did! I kept collecting gold stars (each day) and trophies (each 30 days) until I just naturally started forgetting to count on some days, and losing count. Now I'm to the point where I know EXACTLY when my monthly anniversaries are!! (9 is coming up soon) Whatever helps you get and stay sober is what you should do!

Congratulations on the news about your grand child. Enjoying that part of life sober will be wonderful for you and for your family.

DG

[Trying Tessie]

Feb 16th need to start over

Thank you I am excited. It is Day 4 for me and I want to make it through the weekend. If I can, then I think I can do this. I will just keep thinking of the new baby and how much better I will be when it gets here if I can kick this thing.

[Evie.Lou]

Feb 16th need to start over

Trying Tessie;549968 wrote: Yeah I am trying again. I will look in the toolbox. I at least know that I must want this, because I keep coming back.

Thank you

I was the same way for the first several months here...I didn't give up and it is worth all the effort...I PROMISE. Let me give you a hand back up.
I joined in DEC 07 and didn't get any real AF time until May 08...
LIFE has just kept getting better and better everyday since then.
If you don't give up than you will surely succeed.