AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

[Sweaty Betty]

Marking and running! have just worked out out to use my laptop when I'm out. Am sitting in Starbucks with a peppermint tea. Major achievement for me (the laptop not the tea). Catch you all later B.x

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Good Morning Betty, Gia and all to come,

I wanted to reply to DG's question about AA, too:

Can any of you who participate in AA tell me what happens if I just show up at one of the closed meetings?

You can just sit there, if you are asked to participate, etc, you can just say, "Hi, I am DG and I am an alcoholic. I think I'll just listen for now." (Or, I'll pass.) and they will go to the next person. It is simple. If you go to a few meetings, you will find you meet some very nice and caring people, who will give you their phone numbers, etc, and over time you will become comfortable with the group.

What AAthlete said about AA being a Spiritual versus a Religious program is critical. I do know that some groups say the Lord's Prayer at the end of the meeting, but, if it makes you uncomfortable, you do not have to join the circle. Generally, though, groups do the Serenity Prayer.

The reference to God is explained in the Big Book and you should probably at the very least read Bill W's story.

Okay, enough about AA. I like it, some people hate it, and some people would rather die and eat dirt than say, "Hi, I am and I am an alcoholic." I not only do not mind saying it, I like to keep it in my face. I am an alcoholic, whatever that means. I cannot drink alcohol.

What my sponsor says is that it does no good to quit drinking without finding a good life to replace it. She calls it being an "ic" instead of an alcoholic. :-)

Gia, I am glad you feel better today. I hope today brings you good things, rest tonight and lots of snuggles from your little angel.

Mary, I sure hope your hubby understands that the embarrassment of Friday night pales in comparison to the issue you are facing. Love yourself enough to know that. Okay? We all sure do.

All my other dear friends here. Have a wonderful day.

Love,
Cindi

[dill]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Good morning. Thank you for that info about AA, Cindi. I have been considering it for myself, but, you know how fear of the unknown can keep one from trying something. Your descripton, and AA's on yesterday's thread, are both quite helpful and reassuring.
Have a great day, all.

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Good morning to all in Ab-land! Hi Sweaty Betty and congrats on your technical prowess with the laptop! Sitting in Starbucks with some tea and a working laptop sounds nice! Thanks for getting us started today.

Hi Gia and Dill!

Cinders, thanks for the info about AA meetings. I actually think a lot of the push back about AA comes from outside of actual AA. For most folks in either a rehab treatment program or in court trouble, AA is mandated and there are no recognized alternatives. At any rate, like I mentioned yesterday I just don't want to overlook any tools that might very well be helpful "just because." You are sounding good Cinders!

:b&d: to Mo, Mary and Stargirl and anyone else I'm missing. Get your asses back on the wagon stat. No more Mr. Nice Girl. :sofa:

I've gotta run and get tiffed up for my Tuesday leads meeting where today it's my turn as the featured speaker. Hopeful doing my hair will cause some sort of inspiration for a topic.

See you all later..

DG

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

I am doing my best to get back into my sober life. Today I feel more normal. Last night I went to a meeting. All I can do is put one foot in front of the other. I'll be back later. Mary

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Hey abbers.

Going out tonight with a GF to a drag queen show at a comedy club. Should be a hoot! Naturally I am the designated driver. I like the idea of a setting where you are entertained from your own spot. I feel like I don't have to deal with not drinking thing.

Off to work.

Hey I'm 8 months today - peppermint ice cream!

[charlee]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Morning abbers
Years ago, I did both outpatient and AA....I was riding on the high from what I thought would be a "new lease on life"...6 weeks of OP and continued with an AA woman's group for 3-4 months. I am not a public speaking kind of gal, but took everything in, went home and processed. I don't know if it was because it was an all women's group or not, but it seemed to me outside of the coffee and pastries it was becoming partner bashing sessions.....I would come home angrier and more resentful than when I arrived and poor hubby took the brunt, as obviously it was his fault I was in this perdicament.....NOT...Maybe I just had a not so useful experience, but I never went back....
MWO is working for me....It is me, the puter and all of you sharing the up's, the downs, the successes and the hiccups.....Although I love reading of all of our successes's, I have learned so much from others on what didn't work, or what not to do..I too, was repeating the same mistakes over and over. It wasn't working for folks here, and obviously, not working for me.......I keep it simple, don't have a very heavy tool box... I started out with determination and commitment, turned the negative into a positive, still believe strongly in my "ODAT, making no promise for tomorrow" words, and take it as it comes.....
Enough rambling from me, gonna go get dressed, have that last gulp of coffee and off to work.
Everyone have a great day.....

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Charlee,

I don't know if it was because it was an all women's group or not, but it seemed to me outside of the coffee and pastries it was becoming partner bashing sessions.....I would come home angrier and more resentful than when I arrived and poor hubby took the brunt, as obviously it was his fault I was in this perdicament.....NOT...Maybe I just had a not so useful experience, but I never went back....

I found the same thing in my all women's group. Interesting. I won't be going back to that one!! Hubby has nothing to do with my drinking. At all. I sure wish I could blame him, though. :H

I do have a great "home group," where the members have a sense of humor and all are dedicated to figuring out how to be sober and happy. I like them.

Love,
Cindi

[charlee]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Cindi
I guess it is a matter of finding the right mix of folks, which I am happy for you that you did..It is great to see you back...
I spent many a year blaming the world for my issue, including hubby......then the lightbulb clicked..finally!

[Mohun]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Good morning. Day 2 and feeling better. Just a quick check in from the hotel. Thanks for the encouragement DG and everyone ekse. I'll check back later.

[Pamina]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Good day all early birds in Ablandia and those to come,

Mary, Mo, Stargirl - It's good to see you all back here ASAP. And DG already has that whip firmly in hand, I'll leave her to it...

I have been mulling over your story, Mary, though I don't want to intrude. We all know how hard it can be to get across the 'tone' you aim for when you're dealing with cyberspace. If any of this is useful, great, if not, just ignore me. The first thing that struck me, if I understood it correctly, is your remarkable self-reliance. It sounds like you've been trying to address your problem with secret drinking by yourself, with support on MWO but not in your 3D life. The enormity of that secret and its attempted resolution resting on your shoulders alone. Mary, if that were me, I would absolutely EXPLODE!!!! I haven't told everyone all the reasons for my abstinence, but I so value those individuals who are in the same boat. Last week I compared notes with a friend who did 6 months AF, experimented with mods, went back AF and now wants to address emotional issues. Our paths are not identical but very similar. It's as though the power of my recovery is magnified when affirmed by others. The other bit that struck me, and sounds very familiar, is the perfectionism. I share the scepticism expressed by others re the re-do dinner. As though there was a script that didn't quite go to plan and needs to be re-enacted to perfection. Even though the pressure of that expectation contributed to your choice to drink. Alternative scripts are out there. Like having a chat with one of those dinner guests over a cup of tea. Look after yourself. :l

Hi to all others for now. I'll be back after investigating the local gym....

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Good morning, all!

DG thanks for telling us about that upcoming high-pressure event. I know you will get through it beautifully AND it's great you are using your own self-awareness (of anxiety, feelings of anticipation of triggers based on events in the past) to get mentally prepared. That's what an intentional, thoughtful sober life does for us, I believe: we practice being observant, being fully awake and aware, so that we are not just going into everything that life throws at us, heads in the sand, hoping for the best.

Pamina: I echo your observations.

MO: glad you are checking in on your Blackberry! I hope the trip is going well for you...

GREENIE: CONGRATULATIONS!!! 8 MONTHS!!!

Everyone else: I hope your day is good!

[Janice]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Hi everyone, just popping in quickly. Have been in the garden all day, just had a bonfire, great!! Day 30 for me and hubby is taking me out for a curry tonight. Best go and get myself done up!! Just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for your support these last 30 days!!

Janicexxx

[last call]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

Congrats. Have a good curry tonight. You deserve it. I wish I could celebrate with you. :wave: :yougo: :happy: :applaud: :l

[momof3]

AF Daily - Tuesday 17th Feb

A Work in Progress;550534 wrote: Good morning, all!

That's what an intentional, thoughtful sober life does for us, I believe: we practice being observant, being fully awake and aware, so that we are not just going into everything that life throws at us, heads in the sand, hoping for the best.

WIP...I so appreciate what you said about intentionality, etc here. Last night, I posted on the Monday thread about living a life free of Al and what it takes to be a nondrinker. I was rambling on, but this sums it up very well. You can't just dive into situations hoping for the best. I am still very thoughtful and careful about the situations I put myself in. I am a "let's wing it person" by nature but careful planning and thinking ahead have been crucial to my sobriety.

Be Well,
M3