AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

[Cinders]

Good Morning,

Up way early so thought I would start the thread.

I like Det's idea in response to Mame. Fun is critical. Being sober needs to be fun, happy, good or why the heck would we bother?

Ideas from my MWO friends?

My goal is to be one fabulously happy sober chick!!

I'll take any advice given.

Love,
Cindi

[gyco]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

im glad your so happy cinders,keep up the great work gyco

[Marshy]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Morning Cindi & Gyco & all to come,

No advice from me, but I do know that I'm so much happier being AF. I'm having one of those naturally high phases at the moment that I never got from drinking. My drinking wasn't "fun" for the last few years, anyway. It was a grim ritual I felt compelled to go through in order to blackout. Today's Friday, and on Friday evenings I used to buy enough alcohol on the way home from work to make sure that I would pass out that night and have enough left so that I could start drinking again when I woke up on Saturday morning, and that would last me until the afternoon, when I felt it was OK to go and buy some more (didn't want to go to the shop first thing in the morning on Saturday and look like an alkie!).

Any sober day is better than that, even if it's a bad day. Even if I'm not having fun, even if I'm stressed or worried or fed up, even if I want to drink, it's better than that.

I'm really feeling the benefits of being AF physically, mentally, emotionally.
It's ALL good. :whee:

[speedster]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Good Morning and Happy AF Friday!

Mame - I look forward to your post about the Optimism software. Will try to surf it up later.

Also like your thought about AF being hard work. I burned out on cycling because it was hardwork, but now I’m turning back to it, at a different level, to focus on being AF. Funny how things go full-circle. It was like I ‘outsourced’ to AL for a while and now we’re taking care of things ‘in-house’ again.

I am a consistently good sleeper when AF. But last night I woke up around 2:00am hungry. It triggered my brain to start thinking about some volunteer work that stresses me out. I’m president of the group for the 3rd year. I love/hate it. I need to either step down at the next election later this year or work it differently. I was awake for 1.5 hrs.

Mame’s post made me think about the vol work again and other things I do that I feel I should/have to do instead of doing what makes me happy.

Read Caroline Knapps “Pack of Two” about her and her dog. Loved it and thought I could be friends with this woman. Surfed her up and found out she died at age 42 of cancer. I got teary-eyed about someone I don’t even know.

I then discovered she wrote “Drinking, A Love Story”. Started reading it last night and I love her again. She describes herself as a highly functional alcoholic. I feel I was in the early stages that she describes coming on so subtly. I love it when books “find me”, kind of like stray dogs and cats.

Folks, have a great day. I will catch up on posts this evening.

[Joanna]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

33 days AF

33 days AF and I've gone away for the weekend. I'm staying above a pub! Watched everyone drinking in the bar last night and felt OK! Did feel a lurch when saw someone carrying two bottles of wine but it quickly passed.

Now I need to become a person who doesn't drink rather than just someone taking time out from drinking. Does this make sense to anyone? This feels like an interlude from my real life; my drinking self (I've fallen off the wagon often before). Until I can feel like this sober period is indeed the real me, I won't have won my battle. Am trying to rethink and reeducate myself into all the reasons alcohol is bad in my life.

:new:

[Reenie]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Hi Everyone: It was suggested that I check out AF Daily, so here I am! It is day 4 for me. I have accepted the fact that I have a disease called alcoholism, that it is progressive and there is no cure. I want to live my life to it's fullest. If it means living it alcohol free, so beit! Who needs it anyway. Drinking is no longer fun for me. It hasn't been for the past 5 years. Gone are the days where I was the life of the party and was able to wake up the next day with little of no regrets. The past 5 years have been a living hell. Rarely do I remember what I do when I drink! The guilt, remorse and sickness are unbearable the next day. My goal today and forever, is to put one foot in front of the other. To put a smile on my face as much as possible. To feel, whether it be happiness or sadness. Lastly, to stay sober. Drinking isn't worth it. It occupies to much of my time both mentally and physically. I want to live and will do my best to continue to remind myself that i have an incurable disease, and all I can do is stay away from the first drink.

[retteacher]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Reenie: I can so identify w/your post. I never used the "alcoholic" word about myself until I joined MWO & got out of denial about myself. This disease (some don't like to call it that) creeps up very slowly. I went from drinking a little too much to drinking way, way too much seemingly all of a sudden.

At this point, in the aftermath of an awful experience w/booze, I'm at the point where I have to go to any lengths to kick this addiction.

I went to a 12 step meeting last night & made the decision to get a sponsor & work the 12 steps. I can't kick this on my own. I tried.

I thank God for MWO. This has been a lifesaver for me. I don't know where I'd be wo/you all in my life.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Good morning to all! Cinders, thanks for getting us started today. I love your goal of being one FABULOUSLY HAPPY sober chickie poo!!! (well, I added the *ie poo part!) Me too.

Gyco it's always good to see you.

Marshy - you are right. We need a sign like the ones that say "a bad day on the golf course is better than the best day at the office." Ours might say "a bad day AF is better than a day with only a hint of a hangover." I am feeling strong right now too - especially after a relatively easy time at the event on Wednesday night. To all who are struggling, even though we will always have to keep a lookout for AL in our heads, this DOES GET EASIER with time. Every AF day in row matters in terms of getting us to a better life. If all we do is what I did from about September 8, 2007 through May 21 2008 - which was drink, stop for a few days or a week, drink again for a few weeks or couple months, stop for a week or two - then we will ALWAYS BE STUCK THERE AND STRUGGLING. I won't drink because I don't want to be stuck in that rut of early AFness. Onward and forward!

Speedster - thank you for the reminder about the book Drinking, A Love Story. That is one I haven't read but have seen it mentioned quite a bit over time. I need to reserve that one at the library, which I will do today!

Welcome Joanna! Congratulations on 33 Days AF. I can totally relate to what you are saying about "not drinking" versus LIVING a meaningful life without alcohol. I'm working on that too! For me, that means really changing what I do rather than just doing what I used to do with club soda in my hand - if that makes any sense!

Welcome Reenie! I'm glad you found us here on the Daily AF thread. I think you will like the support and wisdom from this merry band of ex-drunks. (well, I'll just call myself an ex-drunk in case the "drunk" self-label bothers anyone) Yepper - drunk middle aged women are not a pretty site. At least I wasn't. Congratulations on Day 4 and beyond!!

Well, I gotta run or I will be late to my 7AM leads meeting. Be back later to weigh in on the actual topic of FUN today! (I'm going to Curves and Yoga which have become fun for me!) Have a GREAT AF day everyone!

DG

[charlee]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Morning all
Cindi, thanks for starting us off today and welcome to all of the new folks joining us here on the abs forum...
I can't say I have found an abundance of happiness being AF, my life has just plugged away day to day...haven't made any huge changes in either my personal or professional life..but what I do have is contentment and peace.....I have unloaded a burden that has weighed me down for years, mentally and physically..... Marshy, I like the way you summed it up..."A sober day is better, even if it's a bad day"....
Hope everyone enjoys their Friday!!

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Hi All, welcome to Reenie and Joanne who I haven't 'met' before. Reenie, I can really identify with 'putting one foot in front of the other' . Since I came to MWO I've spent much less time staring into space and much more time moving. Not necessarily exercise, but generally engaging in day to day life. Taking the kids to school, leaving the house every day, walking the dogs. These may seem like small things, but compared to how desperate I felt before Christmas they're major for me. So keep on moving, one step at a time.

Hi Gyco - when are you speaking at AA?

Speedster - I'm a compulsive 'volunteer' and have taken on things that I know are going to really stress me. This year though I've taken a step back to look at where my time could be more helpful/productive. No answers yet, but I have some ideas.

Hi Cinders - you sound like you're well on your way to being a 'happy sober chick'

DG - your commitment to exercise really inspires me.

And Marshy - yes, sober days are great!

Have a great Friday!

Bx

[Sweaty Betty]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Hi, cross post sorry Charlee!

And I missed Mary! Serves me right for trying to be clever and give individual mentions! Hi Mary, you sound as though things are coming 'back together?

[Kirova]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Hi everyone. You're all a constant source of inspiration.
Joanna -- I like the way you framed this: a person who doesn't drink versus a person who is taking time off from drinking. I cannot drink. The notion of it is sometimes "romantic" but the romance is oh so false.
As far as fun goes, I find I can have fun so much easier being AF (where I used think that AL enhanced "fun" -- not true!). I'm up north for the weekend...have rediscovered my love for Nordic skiing.
Here's wishing all of you a fun, AF day!

[Janice]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Not a lot of time this week....but just needed to "check in" and say hi. Haven't been able to catch up on posts but just wanted to add that 33 days in and I'm feeling great. I'm taking each day as it comes and appreciate there could be tough times ahead but right now there is no place for alcohol in my life. I am happy, I am sober, I am sleeping, and I am grateful. love Janicexxx

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Good morning all, and welcome to those newly joining and posting on this thread!

I'm having a bit of a difficult time these days, unhappily in the midst of the "what to do with the rest of my life" thing. I feel very secure in being AF, not really complacent (at least I hope not), but definitely not experiencing any kinds of thoughts that maybe it would be OK to drink. But over the last year, my life has undergone a couple of very difficult major changes: being forced out of a job that I loved (by a very vicious boss who has done this repeatedly over the years, to at least 4 others that I know of); and my mother developing Alzheimer's. I have a small business, and COBRA health insurance... but I feel at loose ends, not really doing what I would like to be doing. So... I'm having a hard time, but not in ways directly related to alcohol.

And I am always aware that if I don't move forward, and make changes in a positive direction, somehow... I will become more and more at risk of relapse. People who are frustrated and unhappy are always at risk... so it feels just a bit urgent that I figure out some way to make some changes.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Friday - Feb 20, 2009

Morning all and happy Friday! Found this in one of my readings this morning:

Some days we might ask ourselves, Is it worth it? We feel alone. No one seems to care. Life seems hard. Recovery seems hard. This is when we need to slow down and take a look at what's going on. We're feeling this way because we're off our recovery path. We may be back into wanting people to see things our way. We want control. Remember, all problems are not our problems. All work is not our work. We can't have everything the way we want it. But we can do our part and let go of the rest. Than we can feel better.

Reminds me that I need to keep everything in perspective... I used to get so angry about the littlest things in life, like walking the dog in the morning. Dammit - I didn't want to be out there in the freezing cold, waiting for him to finish sniffing a snowbank! Move it!! Thankfully, since getting sober, I've been able to put all of that in perspective. I used to think he was doing it just to piss me off! Is that alcoholic thinking or what??? Now I better understand that in the grand scheme of things, taking the dog for a walk is a pretty minor thing, and I can laugh now instead of getting angry.

So, today I'll try to focus on me and not worry about what others do. Hopefully my day will go a lot better by doing so.

WIP, sorry to hear that you're in a kind of funk. I'll send good thoughts your way, and let me know if there is anything I can do to help out!