AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

[SAUSAGE]

Marking and running!!

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Hi everyone

It feels good to be back - I've been away with the family for a week's holiday (no internet access) - came back last night (for those of you who didn't see the end of yesterday's thread) and i'm pleased to report that unlike last time I didn't drink on holiday !! There were a couple of wobbly moments, like when we were out for dinner and Mr Sausage was drinking various wines, and so it seemed were everyone around us, but I stuck with it and now I'm so glad I did. I feel a lot stronger as a result, particularly now i'm passed my 107 AF day record (day 110 today) - i'm aiming for my 6 months sobriety mark now and then I'll post my full story in my story section.

Anyway, i'd better go, so much to do today with catching up from being away, and so much washing and ironing. I'll check back later - have a great AF weekend everyone - have missed you all!

Take care

Sausage xx

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Sausage I'm so happy for you!!! I can tell from the "sound" of your posts that the good feeling you have from staying strong and AF is much better and longer lasting than any temporary feel good (quickly followed by hangover, guilt and remorse) that could have come from a glass of wine. :yougo: That's what it's all about!!!! Gaining strength and confidence in our sober lives as each day and each situation goes by. YEAH!!!

LVT, thank you so much for sharing your calf wrestling story. :H:H:H:H (that's worth using up my entire remaining ration of smilies for this post!!) I even had the funny "boinging" Funniest Home Video music playing in my head as I was reading! I'm sorry that the calf won this time. Better luck next time. And a video camera next time. YouTube. Yes. The start of a new and exciting sport as Deter speculated!

I love when we have daily topics and how those discussions evolve. Now I shall make an observation about yesterdays thread. The topic was "fun" which to me meant something like this: Getting sober is hard work and often involves a painful level of self-honesty and other important, but not exactly "fun" things. So when does "life" get going again - especially the fun parts??? I don't think lots of us (including me) really weighed in completely on the subject yesterday so I would like to continue that topic today if that's OK. Seems like a good topic for Saturday in any case!

I am personally experiencing a LOT of joy in the small things of life at this time. Of course it's easy for my mind to be pulled into more stressful thoughts related to the economy and stuff like that. Of course it's important to spend time in a productive way addressing the issues related to tough economic times that CAN be addressed here at home. (Adjustments to the budget, etc.) I'm working hard to not dwell mentally on these difficult subjects once I'm past a point of taking actions that I can take. I'm finding that mental exercise very important in trying times. There is only so much we can do, but life goes on! I feel so good when I work out and also when I ....work! After spending so many years with my priorities as 1)planning to drink 2) drinking and 3) recovering from drinking (with #2 being a popular solution to #3) it really is fun to have other stuff to focus on!! I LAUGH a lot more now! Mr. Doggy and I have re-discovered laughter with each other. When we first met a bit over 11 years ago now, that is something really important we shared. A wicked sense of humor about life. The further down into the bottle I went over the years, the more we lost touch with that "lighter side" of our relationship. It's fun to have that part of our relationship back.

I still feel like there is a place in my life that is waiting to be filled with....something. I don't know yet if it's a new hobby or volunteer work or what. But I'm getting peaceful with the idea that as long as I am out and about in this amazing world that surrounds me (instead of isolated as a self imposed prisoner in my own house) it will all come to be in the right time and place. This is a real revelation for me because I am normally such a patient person as long as I can have it RIGHT NOW.

So maybe for me it's more about peace and happiness than "fun." But for right now a felling of peace and happiness IS fun.

Happy Sober Saturday. I am so happy to be UN-HUNG today! WHEE!!

DG

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Good morning all, and huge congratulations to you, Sausage for being strong, and sticking with your commitment!

DG, good post! Yes, absolutely, I agree that changing our lives in a positive direction involves mental exercise... consciously choosing to focus on the positive. Good old Norman Vincent Peale had it right, all those years ago, with his book "The Power of Positive Thinking." He was way ahead of what was then the current scientific understanding in psychology of how to help people change (the Freudians were still digging around in the depths of the psyche, dredging up Oedipal complexes, and so forth, and the behaviorists were building "Skinner boxes"!).

Meditation (attentional training) helps me with this... I'm not "there yet" but I have a lot of faith in the direction I am headed. Greenie, Pamina, I heard you, yesterday... being in this kind of limbo is quite uncomfortable, isn't it... and I do think that "faith" (along with creative thinking and exploration of possibilities) is a big part of getting through the "limbo" stage of major life changes. Pamina, I totally get what you are saying... preparing the ground for change is also what I am working on. This business of fixing up the Florida house is a part of that. I am trying to maximize the possibilities of what I might be able to do, when the time comes that my mother does not need me here in quite the same way that she does, now.

OK, I need to get out of here, finish packing, and get on an airplane. I hope everyone has a good day.

Cindi, I saw your posts on another thread, and I am so sorry that you were drinking last night (this morning), and hope you will reach out in absolutely every direction you can... you have a lot of places to reach out to right now... please pull out all the stops, do whatever you have to do to get back on track.

[Kirova]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Welcome back Sausage...and congrats on your successful holiday!
DG - I agree that being sober makes it so much easier to enjoy the small things (that's because we can actually recognize them!). I feel a lot more "open" ... things find their ways into my heart more easily. I too can laugh and joke with my husband -- something I rarely did when I was drinking. That's because the drinking made things "dark" and not drinking seems to bring on a lightness that I was missing before. I don't have everything figured out yet, but I am learning about stuff I may want to do in the future. One thing I have done recently is sign up for a dance class. It's so much fun!! This morning I'm feeling the effects of yesterday's full day of Nordic skiing. I'm sore as heck but lovin' it! Happy day, all.

[Kirova]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

WIP - cross-post. I think meditation is a wonderful tool...but I have a long way to "getting there." Maybe it's my attention span?
I'm also very worried about Cindi...

[speedster]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Morning Abbers,

Getting ready for some vol work later this morning. Had a good talk with a friend about being president. He was complimentary and he'd look out for a good replacement but he felt there wasn'y anyone else that fit as well. So I need to adjust.

Having dinner with some friends tonight. All light drinkers. I can easily say I need to lose 10 lbs and that's why I'm passing on a beer. It's a true statement. They won't care.

Reading Drinking, A Love Story. I can hardly put it down. Can't relate to how serious her problem became but she does a great job of describing the early stages - watching a bottle of wine at a dinner table, calculating what's left and how one can get a little more.

FUN - I'm most satisfied with a weekend where I do fun things but also get a few chores done. I love a good project, but they're not always fun. Gardening, exercise, vol work - all can be fun but require a certain element of work.

I have a lot of fun with my dog. Even when I'm learning new handling techniques in agility I hav efun because it's a game. Dogs are all about fun and love. It's fun to just lay on the floor and pet him, or play tug. It's even fun to give him a bath. He is my pure FUN. My dog required some work to train, but it was always fun even when he didn't understand what I was trying to teach him. Unconditional love and the joy dogs have doing everything. When I watch my dog, I learn a lot about being in the moment of peace and happiness.

[AAthlete]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

I think, to me, the fun is being able to enjoy a normal life just like everyone else and not have that obsession to drink anymore. I have to admit that I probably take my life now for granted every once and awhile. What used to be new and in the forefront of my mind (my sobriety) now has become normal to me and if I forget that I stand the chance of relapsing.

The fact that I can take the dog to the vet at 7pm on a Friday, or take my son's friends home after a Star Wars party at 10pm on the weekend is fun. I can do these kinds of things without evening thinking about a drink anymore, and what could be more fun then a van-full of 8-year-old's hopped up on sugar & pizza laughing and joking their heads off!

[Marshy]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

While all you lot are having fun, I'm at work! Haha. :H But I like it.

DG, you're sounding joyous and that's a lovely thing to hear.
Sausage - well done!
Wip - have a good trip (I'm a poet and I didn't know it)
Speedster - I'm having trouble getting through Drinking, A Love Story. I find it very uncomfortable reading because I do relate to so much of it. It keeps getting relegated to the bottom of my pile of books.
Hi Kirova & everyone else to come.
Gotta get back to work. Fun, fun, fun!

[Cinders]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

and what could be more fun then a van-full of 8-year-old's hopped up on sugar & pizza laughing and joking their heads off!

Nothing, my dear friend, nothing.

Love,
Cindi

[Mohun]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

A quick check in until I drink some tea or coffee and wake up. I am also trying to keep the puppy quiet so everyone else can sleep.

Mo.

[narilly]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Totally get it

Hi guys,
Hey sasuage- way to go, not drinking any wine with dinner. That is going to be my biggest challenge. I have been laying low this week avoiding any dinner parties but when I go to one I will try and be strong.

I have 3 dogs myself and yes, they are a joy. So lucky to have them. The day after a drunk they would always love me no matter what. They never judge. But now, I don't have to worry about being drunk.

I feel great today. Woke up at 7 with no hangover and was able to make lunch for my hubby and son since they were going snowboarding. Now my daughter and I are going for breakfast and it is not even 9:00.
I feel great!

This IS fun!

Narilly

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Morning!

Well, I drank a bottle of wine last friday.... and I had it all planned out. Stupid, yes. But whatever; I suffered dearly for days after the fact. I thought the top of my head was going to explode for the first two and had terrible migranes while sleeping up until Thursday.

So what does this tell me? My body just can't take it anymore. It was a doozy - that lasted for days!

However, I have managed to stay off of the boards this week because the weather here is just too darn nice! The days are getting longer and my kids have actually been great! So we are trying to get some walking in, etc. after the work day is done.

Other than that; another beautiful day out there. My little one is going to a birthday party today for a child who is in her preschool. She likes to call him her 'boyfriend' LOL. We are going to a Martial Arts Studio for some Karate and parents are to stay and participate. I think I am more excited than she is. It will be a great opportunity to meet the other moms/dads; other than the quick 'good mornings' that are exchanged at the school.

One thing that I think is very cool is that instead of buying this little fella a gift; it was requested that we all give him 2 twoonies. (2 $2 dollar coins). He will then keep $2 for himself and donate the other $2 to charity!

HOW COOL IS THAT???? My little one has a birthday in May... I am just thinking of maybe doing the same. These kids have more than enough 'stuff'. I am just loving it - and think it is a great idea!

Have a great day!

[Mohun]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

AFM- Someone needs to consult with an astrologist. Way too may people went off the wagon last weekend (including me). Must have been something afoot.

I just dumped the puppy onto one of my kids beds so he could wake her up. He was very excited to see her. She was less than excited. Nothing like puppy kisses first thing in the morning.

I slept for a solid 8 hours and I am still tired. I hate these trips when dealing with time zones. I should be fine by tomorrow.

DG- Nothing has happened to that VP yet. It is spreading pretty fast through the company though. I actually ran into him in the bar the next night (nowhere else to hang out in the hotel). There was him and another senior manager pounding back drinks. I actually stuck around for a bit (I had tea). He had 6 glasses of red wine while I was there. Not too sure how many he had before I got there. They were going for dinner after, where I am sure they had several more glasses (bottles) of wine. I declined to go and went back to the Japanese restaurant with some other people (who pounded back Saki). At least they were a better class.

So, a couple of observations. Last year I did 100 days AF and then tried modding which I did quite successfully for several months. By Christmas I was back to my old habits. So I started the new year AF which went well until last weekend. Instead of going back to modding, I went straight to pounding back some whiskey. I think this ended up being a good thing.

I felt so rotten that at least I didn't delude myself into thinking I can control this beast. I didn't sleep well. I developed heart palpitations again. I had to chew tums like they were candy. I had to sleep most of the days to try to recover.

It was a quick and stark reminder of why I wanted to quit in the first place.

Anyway, glad you are all here to help pick me up and dust me off.

I had better stop before someone confuses me with DG (for the length). :H

Mo.

[retteacher]

AF Daily, Saturday February 21st 09

Hi Everyone: I am still trying to process the whole episode of last Fri. It's almost a gift that it was so catastrophic. The periodic AF stretches have fooled me into thinking I can whip this problem myself. I made 2 big decisions this week:
-I'm getting a sponsor & working the 12 steps.
-I'm going to confide (confess) this to my priest...all of it including the secrecy.

I must continue to keep this out in the open. My friends & family are in such denial. My daughter feels I'm being to "hard" on myself. Ditto my friends who witnessed the whole scene.

I'm working my program one day at a time. No more counting for now. This is a daily battle for me, though I have the full knowledge that all I need is one sip, & I'll go careening into drunkeness forthwith.

I feel a little battered & bruised, but I'm OK. I love each & every one of you. Mary

PS: Cindi, can we do the program together somehow?