My Early AA Thoughts

[narilly]

My Early AA Thoughts

oh, and thanks mary for pointing me to this post.

Hugs,
Narilly

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Narilly, congratulations on 5 weeks sober! I love your attitude. This is hard work sometimes getting and staying sober, but we can make it better or worse on ourselves with our attitude I believe.

I can appreciate what you said Narilly about the wisdom of the old timers. In the 7AM meeting today the normal agenda was diverted as there was a new guy who was just finishing up 24 hours sober. I guess he came in yesterday afternoon to the 4PM meeting in pretty rough condition with the withdrawls. The guys helped him through and he was back today. Still shaking and looking like shit, but back. The old timer guys at this club are a pretty amazing bunch to watch. They are tough, but they are there. Even the ones who don't get along with each other that well on a day to day basis rally around when a man needs help. I keep coming back around to be grateful to have these strong people watching my back.

One of the women who comes regularly to the ealry AM meeting spoke up about how the men of the club have always seemed to have this commarderie about them in a way that she has NOT seen the women do in the past. But she said the early morning women seems to be starting to gel that way. I was happy to hear her say that. (her comments also made me feel like maybe I've found the right meetings that are a good fit for me)

There is a young girl who's been there this week who is close to one year sober and also drug free. She battled alcohol and drug addiction for over 10 years before she finally gave up fighting it (her words) and decided to get sober. She is not quite 24 years old. It's amazing to me that people so young are exposed to all this crap. She started drinking and using drugs at 11 years old.

Anyway, I'm glad to be sober and I'm glad to be developing some "local" friendships with others who understand where I've been.

Mean time, my sponsor gave me some worksheets that are not the official Step 4, but a guide to some thinking and writing in preparation for that. Ouch. There is a worksheet for "resentments" and on the list of possible topics - suggestions to get you thinking - is the word "Mother." Yikes.

Well, figure skating awaits. So do those work sheets but they will have to wait a bit longer than figure skating will.

DG

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

narilly;579877 wrote: Lucky you have a Sponsor DG, I haven't got to that point yet.

Narilly

Oh Narilly - when I asked an old timer how that sponsor business works, he suggested I just bide my time and that I would *know* when the right person came along after hearing what they have to say. That's the way it came down for me.

I think if someone walks through the doors who is in a really bad way (like the guy yesterday afternoon) I think they try to get agreement for a sponsor and get that person hooked up with at least a temporary one right away. Seems logical to me.

Best wishes in your search. I really think you will know when a person comes along that you want to work more closely with.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I think the steps are designed to help us clean house. A clean house means less temptation to drink. AA is not just program to get us to stop drinking. It's a program teaching us to live. That to me means that I have to have cleared up any unfinished business (hurts, upsets, resentments), because those are the fuel that keep our drinking going. If that means i have to do some writing & soul-searching, so be it! I can do that. I have a meeting tonight. I'm very happy about that. It's a gift I give myself. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

I agree with you Mary. Any "ick" I feel about it is only because I know there is some very sad stuff I'm going to have to clean out of my attic.

I hope you enjoy your meeting tonight Mary!

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Tonight's was a truly memorable meeting. It was on Trad. 3 (not the exact words): "The only requirement for membership in AA is the desire to stop drinking." Pretty simple. No need for rules, procedures, resume-checking, application forms. People spoke about coming back to AA after relapses & being welcomed. About going to meetings having been under the influence. About being an AA member wo/any belief in God. The ONLY requirement is the desire to stop drinking...everything else is tolerated. Nobody gets thrown out for any reason at all.

I've noticed that not everyone joins in the prayer at the end of the meeting. Nobody that I could see says anything at all about that.

On the personal front: I got my first AA chip tonight for being an "official" newcomer to AA. I'm not slinking in & out quite as much. I do still get pretty nervous but not nearly as bad as the first week or two.

Night, night everyone. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Mary, I need to plant Trad. 3 firmly in my head and bring it to the forefront whenever I get concerned about some of the other AA stuff. I really like what little study of the traditions I've done so far. The traditions really tell you what AA is - and is not. There are lots of interpretations out there, so it's great to know what the baseline is. Great reminder - thank you!

And congratulations on your newcomer chip! I haven't seen anything called that around this club. But there is a 24 hour chip. Doesn't sound like the same thing though - especially in your case. No matter - :yougo:!! And Mary you are sounding really good and positive. Not scared at all. It's funny how after so much time together you can start to "hear" the tones in a person's posts that go beyond just the words they use.

I am really happy for you Mary!

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I am doing well. I think AA is very, very open to interpretation. Recently, I heard G.O.D. interpreted as Good Orderly Direction. It doesn't have to be an old white man w/a white beard pulling strings from heaven. It's up to us to interpret the whole higher power thing for ourselves.

I heard a member in a meeting say that the steps are designed to protect himself from himself, & the traditions are designed to protect the meeting from himself. Whatever that means. I think I have an idea of it. There were a lot of groaners who didn't think they wanted to be at a tradition meeting. Then, the meeting turned out to be quite emotional & inspirational.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

It is suggested that G.O.D. can be Group Of Drunks around the tables I've been sitting at. I really enjoy studying the traditions as it really is a balance for the steps.

Mary, you mentioned the discussion yesterday of the 3rd tradition. We discussed that one at the morning meeting I attended today. Discussion of that tradition brought out some really interesting discussion - mainly people acknowledging how judgemental we can get as human beings exercising human nature. But the 3rd tradition really says we cannot act that way in AA. The only requirement for membership is a desire not to drink. At the table, we are all equal so long as we want to not drink. That is all. It was very comforting for me to contemplate that (again). Nobody is any better than anybody else based on race, religion, gender, profession, social or economic status. We all belong equally. That is really cool.

Today a women who I have heard about but had not met before came to our meeting to collect her 12 year chip. She moved and now lives a bit of a distance away, but the AM meeting I go to is her "home group" where she first came when she decided to get sober. She is a nun and also a person who exudes positive energy. At this meeting they do the Lords Prayer at the end. That usually begins with someone saying "Who's Father?" and then the group recites the prayer. The Sr. started the prayer today with "Who created the stars and keeps us out of the bars?" :H I thought that was so hysterical. A number of us were laughing out loud who had not met her or heard that before. (FWIW I usually am silent during this particular prayer)

There is a young kid who has been coming around this week. Of course it is sad to see people that young *needing* to get sober. But I'm also glad to see the young people coming round. If they need to get sober, they are starting before wasting the number of years that I did. Anyway, this kid is on Day 5 today. He is court mandated (at 18!). He has been court mandated before. He says this time he's serious. Today he said that last night, he spent 2 hours in his Mom's room with her just talking and watching TV - hanging out. He said he's not done that with his Mom in many years. I of course hope he stays sober this time around but even if he doesn't, I hope he hangs on to memories like that so he always knows there is another side of the fence.

Anyway, back to figure skating but I wanted to share that stars and bars thing from the Sr. :H and also the 3rd tradition message which is so powerful, and to me is the BIGGEST REASON to go check out AA if you've been wanting to, even if you are SURE you don't agree with everything. If you think AA *might* be a good resource for certain things, just know you truly are on even footing with everyone there because of that 3rd tradition.

Happy Friday!

DG

[SAUSAGE]

My Early AA Thoughts

Evening all
I have been following this thread with interest for a while now as I have no personal experience of AA, but would like to know more.

What do the "chips" look like - are they different for each milestone - also what happens to members on the sobriety birthday etc - I'm sure my friend (whose Dad has been a member of AA and sober for 22 years) said they did an actual birthday cake where he meets - is this common or not?

I will drop by on this thread again as i have learned an awful lot from it

Sausage xx

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Good morning!

Sausage here is a link to one of the coins. If I'm reading the roman numeral right in the picture it's an 8 year coin. The ones I have seen all look the same except for the numeral for the years. Then there are coins for 24 hours, 1, 3, 6, 9 months. There might be a 2 month coin as well? I snuck in there just in time to get the 9 months coin.

I have seen a few "many year" coins given out now. This club doesn't make a huge production out of it. Either the person's sponsor or another close friend gives them the coin. All coins (even 24 hours) are first passed around the table so each person touches it and says a prayer or other positive energy type thing for the person who will be recieving it. There has not always been a cake but sometimes somebody will do that. The "special" of it seems to be in the accomplishment itself moreso than that ceremony. But I'm guessing this practice could differ quite a bit from place to place. I find it very touching just becuase I know how tough this journey can be. And it's cool to know that in that moment, a bunch of people around the table are thinking that very same thing, and wishing you well on your continued journey.

Who made the stars and keeps us out of the bars?? LOL - I'm still laughing over that one coming from a nun of all people.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Guys: I won't be going to a meeting 'til tomorrow evening. I really miss them when I can't go...not because I think I'll drink...just because they can be so uplifting. Receiving a chip is very uplifting. It really makes me want to go on in the program. I'll check back tomorrow after the meeting. Mary

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I had an opportunity to go to an Sat. afternoon meeting yesterday. Very good speaker meeting. Some of the speakers lives could be made for movies lives. I have to watch out for comparing myself to them & thus getting into denial: "I didn't live under a pier drinking out of pint bottles, so I must not be an alcoholic." In AA, the saying is: "Identify don't compare." I can see why they came up w/that. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Mary. Yep I sure understand the "identify don't compare" saying too. Thankfully, I seem to have gotten my pea brain past that point of always thinking "I wasn't really that bad...maybe I'm not an alkie...." to a more appropriate / truthful way of thinking for me - thank goodness I stopped because things were bad and only going to get worse.

I went to the Sunday morning early meeting that I like so much because it is really a study session. Today was 11th step. Two things I took away from this meeting:

1. I believe I will benefit by making a regular end of day practice of reviewing the days events and taking an inventory. Was I nice to other people? Did I do anything that I might owe an apology for? etc.

2. Start each day with some meditation along with the daily readings.

Regardless of religious beliefs, I always find something useful in the daily readings. Some quiet time for contemplation sets a peaceful and calm tone for the day. And when I do it, I always like the feeling of reviewing the day and trying to keep the table clean so to speak.

I had an interesting conversation with an older lady who just recently got her 16 year coin. She shared a little more with me about her life. She struggled with alcoholism for many years and was sober on her own for about 6 months when her husband died. That is when she went to AA because she just knew in her heart that being alone now, she would go back to drinking and she was scared about the future prospects without anyone there to "stay in check" for.

I knew exactly what she meant as I have had those thoughts WRT me and Mr. Doggy. He is a "normie" with alcohol, but had a different addiction. After fits and starts and failures on both of our parts, we finally both quit on May 22, 2008. I have often been afraid of what I would do if something happened to Mr. Doggy. Would my daily motivation to stay sober be gone? I was really glad to hear this woman's experience today, and it made me glad I have chosen to be a part of the local AA community. I am less afraid of what my choices would end up being if I found myself alone again. (I realize this probably sounds morbid and I don't mean it that way. Just thinking ahead to ALL of life's possibilities so I have a plan...)

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: I totally identify w/what you & the AA woman said. I KNOW I would need AA if anything happened to my husb. When he would be out of the house for a significant period of time, I would consciously plan a day of drinking. Last year at this time, he was down w/a tumor in his kidney. Boy, when he was incapacitated, did I ever drink! Before, during, & after his hospital stay. I excused it by saying I was stressed out. But, it was also because I could do some serious unfettered drinking.

I am trying very hard to do the readings every day & to get down on my knees & pray every day. It is something my spons said to do, & I'm doing it. My own resources haven't served me well w/drinking, so I'm having humility & doing whatever I'm told to do.

Mary