My Early AA Thoughts

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Sea, boy I'm sorry to hear about the relationship gone bad. Shoot - if relationships bud around here at an internet site, I'm certain they do in a face to face setting! But you are right - isolating would be VERY bad for me too. It's nice to have MWO available 24X7 and it's nice to have a place to go that has lots of scheduled opportunities to be with real live people and hugs and stuff.

Todays meeting was interesting and I'm going to pull up a chair and settle in to the Monday 7AM meeting for sure. (I've been checking out different ones based on my own schedule, and also just seeing what topics are being discussed, etc.) This group just started going through the AA endorsed book "Living Sober." They are on an early chapter so I think this will be interesting as it seems to be day in, day out practical advice. Today's chapter was about changing the people and places (and things? there was a third one...). The book and discussion were about basics most of us have figured out - but there is always a good reminder or new idea. Change up your normal route so you don't go past your usual bars / liquor stores. Change your routine especially around your witching hour. Etc. Etc. Some of the old timers had some stories today! I don't feel as alone in the downright embarrassing crap I did while drinking, nor in some of the things I'm doing to stay sober.

I'm glad I went.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Sea & DG: I'm going to my first AA meeting on Thurs. night. I might or might not meet up w/my sponsor there. I know I'll be a little nervous, but this is definitely something I have to do.

I know it's not advised, but I did pick a male sponsor. He's a dear friend whom we've known through Alanon for 20 years or more. I just felt his serenity & calm & felt he'd be the best person for someone as hyper & anxious as I can be sometimes.

I'm kind of bumping this thread, because I want to share on it after my first AA meeting. There's also one on Fri. night I'm going to. Mary

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

BTW everyone, my daughter thinks I've totally over-reacted to the ER incident. I know she'd freak out about the AA meetings if she knew about them. Denial. Even my husband doesn't think I can "identify" as an alcoholic, & he's been living w/me all these years. Mary

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi All
I have read "Living Sober" DG. Very good book and an easy read.
Good for you Mary. I went to an AA meeting tonight. The more I go, the less nervous I am. The speaker tonight got his 13 year medallion. He used to drink a half gallon of whiskey a day. There is hope for all of us. I look forward to hearing about your meetings. I am going to one, maybe two tomorrow and I am doing Step one with my sponsor on Thursday. We are then going to a meeting at my home group and I need to get a job in the group; coffemaker, greeter, or whatever they need.

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

Mary, do your husband and daughter really know how much you were drinking, how you were drinking (concealing the amount of your consumption, etc.), and how your sense of dependence on alcohol was affecting you, emotionally? If not... then they cannot possibly be in a position to have informed opinions about whether or not you need help with this problem, or how you define the problem ("alcoholism" or "dependence" or whatever)... can they?

I think that we tend not to let other people in on our "little problem," because we are so ashamed... and when people cannot really see how we are behaving with alcohol, and thinking about alcohol, and feeling about alcohol and what it is doing to us, how much it seems to control us... we end up being disappointed or even surprised when they don't "get it."

Sea, maybe you (or someone else here... AA?) can help us out here a little, if you want... even though I was a very regular member of an AA group for 3 years, and it helped me immensely... I never really understood what it meant to "do" Step One, or any of the other steps, really. I pretty much understand making the list, or "inventory" and then sharing it with someone... but as for a lot of the rest of "working the steps," I have always been quite vague.

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi WiP
Very nice to see you. In AA, they say, Step One is the only one that you HAVE to get right. Step One: Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. I will be happy to take you guys through the Steps with me, if you like. Step One tomorrow night with my sponsor.

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Mary I think you will find a lot of value in developing some relationships with others who share and can relate exactly to alcoholism - in a way that people who have never dealt with it just can't.

I think the denial on the part of your husband and daughter could stem from a number of possible things. In addition to what WIP mentioned - we go to great lengths to "hide" the problem - there are other possibilities. Acknowledging our problem (alcoholism or dependence or problem drinking, whatever the terms) is a first step towards doing something about it. That means change. When we change, that implies changes for those closest to us as well. For your husband, I can imagine he is worried about what changes in his wife might mean for him. Same sorts of concerns for your DD.

There is also such a strong image that people have as the "alcoholic" being the guy sitting on the curb with filthy clothes drinking cheap wine from a bottle in a paper bag. Since we don't look like that, how can we possibly have this problem, right?

For now please try not to worry about your family and friends who may not yet understand (or may never fully understand). They will love the changes they see in you once you get on a roll, which you will!!

Sea - thanks for the feedback on "living sober." I'm looking forward to the Monday AM meetings and moving through that book.

Later all! Gotta get a move on to Curves so will have to check the Daily thread this afternoon.

DG

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Sounds like a great group DG. We don't have any groups around here that go through that particular book. I wish we did. I think it's a great idea for a group.

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

Seacailin;557085 wrote: Hi WiP
Very nice to see you. In AA, they say, Step One is the only one that you HAVE to get right. Step One: Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and that our lives had become unmanageable. I will be happy to take you guys through the Steps with me, if you like. Step One tomorrow night with my sponsor.

Thanks, Sea, and that would be interesting and informative to many, I think.

I do know what the Steps are (somebody reads them out loud at the beginning of every AA meeting, so at one time I had them pretty much memorized!)... I just don't really "get it" about what it means to "do" the steps with a sponsor. How do you know if you have "gotten it right," or not? Maybe I am making it more difficult, or complicated, than it really is (wouldn't be the first time, I tend to do that sometimes!)?

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

The first three steps are very personal to the individual. They are not "action" steps so to speak. They are about Honesty, especially with oneself, Faith, and Willingness. Also, your Higher Power is of your own choosing. You just must believe that there is power greater than yourself. It can be the power of the Group or any power greater than you. Some people use GOD as Group of Drunks. The collective power of the group is greater than our individual power. Make sense? Oh crap, my sponsor just called me and told me she wants me to do 90 meetings over the next 90 days, continue reading the Big Book and continue my journaling. She wants me to keep track of my meeting for her. Yikes!

[Ripple]

My Early AA Thoughts

I am back to AA for regular meetings and around my supportive friends once again. SO happy to be back there.. I was getting in such an empty hole again. The group i go to is so full of wonderful people. Early thoughts=i didn't have a clue.

My group is composed of retired school teachers, gay women, business people, a few nurses, professionals, the regular street nuts, students, meeting location is close to an Academy and Private Schools. A couple of Doctors attend. Truly a joy to hear people speak and share at this particular meeting.

You learn as you go. My sponsor is a retired History and Latin teacher, who is really tough on ripples..

my two cents.. ripp.

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

My sponsor is tough on me too Ripps, but I need someone who sees through my BS. Great to have you on this thread. Sorry I missed u in Sarasota. We shall have to do a Northeast meet up this Spring.

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

Rippy, that is FANTASTIC! I am so happy for you! I hope you stick close to that sponsor and that group... I wish it were near where I live, I'd love to go to meetings with you!

[Ripple]

My Early AA Thoughts

wip, you would enjoy these meetings. they are most interesting and the people are a pleasure to be around. Thursday is double meeting day, lunch after at a local eatery that has really good food. Many people in this group have been sober for YEARS!!!! you can't fool them. love to you wippers.. :l

[Ripple]

My Early AA Thoughts

Seacailin;557128 wrote: My sponsor is tough on me too Ripps, but I need someone who sees through my BS. Great to have you on this thread. Sorry I missed u in Sarasota. We shall have to do a Northeast meet up this Spring.

YES we need another meet. Sea, i always go to Orlando area, or West Palm. Mostly Orlando. Did not go to Aunts this year. Her husband is alot of work for her right now. And yes Sea, my sponsor can read me better than me. Yet she always tells me, i still love you!!! I'm happy this week, i hope i stay this way.