My Early AA Thoughts

[AAthlete]

My Early AA Thoughts

Guys, one of the hardest things for me to get over was that AA didn't fit me like a glove and therefore I was of the mindset that it wouldn't work for me. But, is there anything in life that really does? My wife and I don't believe the same on everything - should I cast her aside because of it? My training can be mentally and physically exhausting - should I stop so that I don't have to put myself through that?

Like they say, at some point you have to 'resign from the great debating society' and just take a leap of faith and obviously not everyone can do that. But, if you CAN find ways to mold bits and pieces of it into your life then the results can be dramatic - I'm living proof of that. Anyway, my $.02...

Mary, glad that your meeting went well and that you were able to go by yourself! They're not all gems, but if nothing else you are making a commitment to your sobriety by showing up in the first place.

[Cinders]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi, Everyone,

I just wanted to comment on something Mary said:

The members made no excuses for their drinking (i.e. bad home life, poor childhood, etc.). They put all the responsibility upon themselves. There was a lot of talk about ego, selfishness, & self-will "run riot."

I keep hearing that the "Powerlessness" thing takes responsibility away from the alcoholic. I agree with Mary about what I observe in AA. They state unequivically that we must take total responsibility for our disease/condition (whatever you want to call it).

The overriding theme is that even though we have a condition that means we cannot drink because if we continue to drink, we will end up in jails, institutions or dead, we are powerless over the drink IF WE DRINK, we are responsible for not taking that first drink.

AA's concept gives us our power back. It is a dichotomy but one that works and makes sense.

My take on it:

Don't take the first drink, follow some simple steps that seem to help us not take the first drink, and live a good, caring, happy life.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Cindi: Well said! I do have the power not to take that first drink. Once I take it though, I'm totally powerless. That's why I ended up in the hosp. Mary

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

How fortunate we are to have all of this knowledge, experience, strength and hope on this thread? I went to my Home group last night and got a job. I am now the Greeter. I stand at the door and welcome folks as they arrive for the meeting. I think that this will be a great way for me to meet people. I only have one of my kids left at home and she is moving out soon. I will be all alone in this 3 story townhouse, and isolation is my enemy, so I have to build some sober friendships. Thank you all for sharing.

[cowgal]

My Early AA Thoughts

GREAAT THREAD!!!!

I battled w/ AA (brainwashing aspect, conformity.........I am TOTALLY non-conforming! and a bunch of other stuff) I am heading to a noon meeting today too Cinders! I find peace there when I want it, I, like AAthlete, always get SOMETHING positive out of the meetings......

Learning to "take what I want and leave the rest behind", at first I thought I had to swallow it all at once...............AA (along w/ alot of other things) really helps me stay sober.....and even when I screw up and drink, they love me anyway!:h:h

Like I said, great thread....................good to see everyone's views and your openness!

As always, with hugs....................:l:h

love you guys!!

MA

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

In a little while I'll be going to my second solo meeting. I'm trying not to have any expectations. In Alanon they say, "expectations are nothing but future disappointments." Mary

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hello Old friends,
I check in now and then to see how folks are doing. I was so depressed after lenair failed me that I kind of regressed into my own little world.
I joined this site a year ago and "thought" I'd be able to moderate. Did the CD's, sups and topa to no avail. Then I heard about the "healer" in Vermont. Really thought it was gonna be the answer...until a week after I got home and it was the same old thing again.
I finally knew I had to do something about my problem several months before I found MWO and tried Rational Recovery. Took the AVRT course and that didn't work but it sure turned me off to AA. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would step a foot in an AA meeting.
Well, low and behold....guess what? I went to my first meeting on Jan 20th and haven't had a drink since.
It's changed my life...I am truly happy.
And happy for all of you! Keep commin back...It works

[Cinders]

My Early AA Thoughts

Oky,

It is so great to see you again.

I am glad you found your way.

Love,
Cindi

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Oky! I'm so happy for you!

Y'know, I had forgotten, one peculiar (IMO) thing about Rational Recovery is the guy's irrational hatred of AA. Too bad about that. Many of the ideas in AA are early precursors to some of the modern cognitive-behavioral psychology that also forms the basis of Rational Recovery... There is no reason they should be at odds, really...

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Oky: I just got back from my second AA meeting. Very powerful. Lots of recovery in the room. One woman spoke about her first, negative impressions of AA. After hitting bottom w/drinking, she decided that she had to just do the program. Just do it. Not over-analyze.

Tonight there was a lot of talk about ego & how easily it can lead us into drinking. I'm not sure that was my motivator. I always just wanted to escape from life through drink.

Anyhow, I'm doing fine one day at a time. Mary

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Mary,
I was in "want to escape" mode also.
It really is amazing how this program is working for me. I was terrified the 1st day I walked in that room. I know it was the right group for me though. They we're all so welcoming and even though it was a book study, they changed the topic and asked each person to share about their first time. Every story hit home and I was in tears most of the meeting. I got a book before I left and read and realized this is where I belong. I kept coming back and shortly before receiveing my 1mo coin, I asked about a sponsor and was given the # of a lady that I had seen in the meetings and thought would be a perfect fit. She had a great sponsor herself and her program is very strict. I'm going to meetings every day which has given me the chance to see there are all kinds of groups...even agnostic. I think there is a fit for everyone on every level. I call my sponsor daily and 2 other gals from my phone lists (building my network as my sponsor says) I journal and make a gratitulde list daily. My sponsor and I meet weekly and I am looking forward to "working the steps". It's obvious that the folks that have been sober and happy the longest are the ones who "work the program". Sure, little issues come up in my mind and I want to question but I figure my sobriety is worth more. So I've given myself fully to the program and will do what my sponsor asks of me. I truly have no desire to drink (it was a little tough at first though) and I am grateful that I found AA.

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

I am so happy for you Oky. One of the speakers at my meeting tonight had 37 years of sobriety. Amazing. I also found out that my friend that I have been taking to meetings has Cirrhosis. She looked very yellow tonight. She is still drinking. They say you can't scare an alcoholic. There was also a woman who got up and got a 24 hour chip and the poor thing was very drunk, talking and laughing inappropriately during the meeting. She looked terrible. These are all "yets" for me. These are stark reminders of where I can be if I drink again.

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Oky, good to *see* you and glad to hear things are working for you. That is awesome.

Mary - LOL there is so much said in these meetings that DOES hit home with me - I'm sort of glad that *everything* doesn't his a bullseye. I would surely be dead if that was the case! Does it feel good going to meetings on your own? Sometimes we women (even us independent ones) get into a place where we are connected so tightly to our husbands and others around us that stop feeling independent. At least I have gotten to feeling that way at times. You do so much in your home life for hubby, kids, g-kids I was just wondering if you ever feel that way. At any rate, recovery truly does need to be an independent action on our parts - at least I feel that way. Then whatever support I get additionally at home is just a bonus. Gotta wear those big girl pants ala Greenie!! :grannypants:

Sea, the reminders of where we can easily be again are very stark aren't they. There is no question in my mind that no matter how long I am sober, nothing will change - I cannot drink. If I drink I will always get the results I got before. What a waste.

Cindi it's great to see you checking in too. It sounds like the program you are in is keeping you very busy.

Ciao everyone!

DG

[gyco]

My Early AA Thoughts

continuous thread,again lot of good comments,i actually read thru all them a gain,kinda like listening to 50 people at an AA meeting,something that struck me was ,and all drink again,thought,i dont beleive in the years that ive stopped,which were many,over 39 years, the thot really ever goes away, for me,whether to drink or not to,just one for thought,as far as i no it starts like this,i will use my rendition of it,fellow human beings of this place we call earth,grant ME,the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,grant me the courage to change the things I can,and most of all of the intellect [wisdom]to know the the difference, this serenity prayer is used as far as i no in all rooms of AA and now NA,this 1st thought is what makes the difference in ones life gyco

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Gyco,

I love the serenity prayer...never knew it came from AA until I started going to meetings.

Cindi, WIP, Sea and DG, good to "see" you and glad to see you are all doing well with your programs.