My Early AA Thoughts

[AAthlete]

My Early AA Thoughts

Had a meeting over the weekend where we talked about our Get To's - those things we get to do because we are now sober. My sponsor brought up an interesting point by saying "how many recovered alcoholics complain that they have to go to work, have to do chores around the house, or I have to call my sponsor." They/we don't realized that those are things that, in reality, we get to do, as nothing is promised to us. I/we should be grateful for the things that we do have in life, cause imagine what would happen if that job was lost, that house was foreclosed on, or our sobriety was lost - then we wouldn't have to worry about them anymore, would we?

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

:HHello AAers! Mary and Sea, I really enjoy reading about your experiences as it's all new to me. I have not yet ventured forth into the sponsor zone which is something I am thinking about.

Mean time, I suspect I ruffled some feathers at the meeting this morning. The Tuesday early morning group is going through the book Living Sober. Last weeks information was a good reinforcement for me - nothing new, but very good reminders. This week is Chapter 9 (for those who have the book) which is on the topic of.......DIET!!!! Now I respect the fact that AA, by the rules of the organization sticks with the original program because it worked for a lot of people then, and it works for a lot of people now. They don't mess with it. That's just how it is.

So you can probably guess how I cringed at the advice to basically replace alcohol with sugar as a good solution. This recommendation was not qualified in any way with a "if you find you crave sugar, have some to help you in the first week or two but beware that there are problems with long term excess sugar consumption......etc." Nope - just the sugar advice basically. I wish I had sat on my hands and kept my mouth shut which is what would have been the respectful thing to do as a newcomer, I think, but of course I simply could not. I tried to be short winded at least. (not sure how successful I was at that) One thing is for sure - there is no doubt on the part of anyone in that room where I think sugar fits in my life. (it doesn't - just like alcohol)

I think I'll stop and get some miniature candy bars and M&M's to take to tomorrow's meeting as an attempt at making amends. Oy. Me and my big mouth.

Well - I'll try to look on the bright side. While they consider a revision to the sugar recommendations, they are probably also considering a revision to the membership requirement. :H

If I'm going to keep going I think I'd better find a sponsor stat. Otherwise my mouth will get me in trouble.

FWIW I read someplace that there was some research about nutrition related to alcohol going on around the time Bill W died that supposedly he was very interested in. That might have been in 7 Weeks to Sobriety - I have that book so I should take a look and see if I can find that reference and what study it was.....

DG

[AAthlete]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG, I can honestly say that in the almost two years of going to meetings I've never been to one that has covered the book 'Living Sober.'

I don't blame you for speaking up on antiquated information such as that! This booklet does not offer a plan for recovery from alcoholism... was the lead-in sentence which to me means it may be helpful in my sobriety but is not required. FWIW - I stick to the books that Bill has written, namely the Big Book and the 12 & 12 (and to a lesser extent the non-Bill Daily Reflections). I know each meeting is different, as is each group - guess it all goes back to 'take what you can use and leave the rest!"

P.S. A sponsor is a great idea though!

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Thanks AA and thanks for making me think about replacing my "have to" with "get to". It really is much more positive. I sometimes need the negative thoughts slapped out of my head.lol.
DG, good for you for expressing yourself. I am sure that what you had to say was very true and very helpful.
I am trying to be good Mary. I called my sponsor today and am going to a meeting tonight.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

This is all good. DG, the one thing I've learned about 12 step programs is that everyone can have a say...I think the expression is: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean." In the groups I go to, it's not a discussion in the sense that there is a back & forth dialogue. Everyone gets to share wo/interruption. If sugar doesn't work for you, there is absolutely nothing wrong w/saying it. End of story.

Sea: You're doing so well. I actually love calling my spons. It's comforting, & he's totally calming to me. I'm going to a meeting tomorrow in the AM. I'm anxious to see who will be there.

AA: Today, my spons said to write out a gratitude list. I'm trying to be as detailed as possible. I have a lot to be grateful for.

Take care everyone. I'll be back after tomorrow's meeting.

Mary

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Gang,
I am back in my sponsor's good graces. We are going to meet at the Sunday morning meeting, go out to lunch, then to her house to work on Step One. There was a man there who had 15 years of sobriety. He went back out on a bender, attempted suicide and was hospitalized. He got a 4 month chip tonight. It was Bittersweet. He is lucky to have made it back. The focus of tonights meeting was Marijuana. Everyone who shared talked about their stuggles with Pot after giving up alcohol. A Godsmack for me perhaps, as I have had around 13 years AF in the past 19, but have only done a total of 5 years Marijuana free. You sound Great Mary. I am so happy for you. My sponsor is very nice too. I need to explain my depression/bipolar, general insanity with her so that she will understand me a bit better. Interview tomorrow and meeting tomorrow night. Sweet dreams all.

[peacenik]

My Early AA Thoughts

i enjoy reading this thread guys...thanks for sharing your experiences. i live in a tiny town (less than 1500) and would be "found out" if i went to aa meetings...i've considered driving 50 miles to and fro to go, but never have...a sponsor would be nice, in a way...annoying in another...i find accountability to be a stabalizing force for me and use my husband as my main...accountant??!!!!

anyway, i hope you don't mind me chiming in here...it's interesting and helpful to me!

thanks for starting it doggy!

peace!

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Peace: I'm scared to death to see people I know at our local AA meetings. I too live in a small community. However, I figure I only go around once on this planet, & I want to do that sober. Anonymity is the foundation of the program for a reason. I'm trying not to worry about what people might think & put my sobriety first & foremost. Mary

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Of course you are welcome here Peace, and I am glad that you are finding it helpful. I understand your fear of being "found out". I am a Nurse, and it freaks me out when I run into former patients. Open AA meetings are open to the public, so it does not mean you are an alcoholic if you are at those. The patients that I did have who found out, seemed to have more respect for me. I think it made me more "human" to them, if that makes sense.Hope you all have a great day. I have a job interview soon. AA meeting tonight.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Sea: Well said!

I just got back from a very small, interesting AA meeting. There was a lot of discussion about surrender to what is in your life. I think I was trying to manipulate life w/my drinking. If I didn't like what was going on or was uncomfortable in some way, I drank to make it all go away. Of course, it doesn't go away, & the drinking only made matters much, much worse. Surrender doesn't necessarily mean to "give in." It just means that we have something to deal with.

I'm plagued by fear a lot. My sponsor gave me the AA acronym for FEAR: Face Everything And Recover.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Interesting comments Sea and Mary - thank you for sharing these updates. And welcome Peace - I can understand your concern about being "discovered" at an AA meeting. I was worried about that for a long time too. Everyone has to decide for themselves based on jobs, professions, etc. I finally decided I no longer cared if someone sees my car there (it has our business vehicle graphics all over it) or if I run into someone I know. But I don't have to worry about a corporate employer or any of that any more. I hope that someday alcoholism can be better understood and discussed far more openly in our society. It is a prevasive problem and many people suffer in silence and lonliness. Geez - how must that have been before the internet????

I wish quitting drinking were a cause for celebration like it is with smoking. But if wishes were horses.....

Todays meeting was another good one. The 7AM meetings are big enough to have a diverse group, but not SO big as the 10:30AM one which often has anywhere from 30 to 50 people. So I'm settling into the 7AM groove on the days where that fits my schedule. There are two young girls who have been attending. I believe they are in a rehab program - they always come with another older (than them) woman. I don't know their full stories but one of the girls celebrated her 90 day anniversary today. It was well celebrated in the room with high hopes for her continued sobriety so she doesn't waste as much time in her life as the rest of us old farts.

I asked a woman to be my sponsor today. She explained it's a trial basis for both of us. We will be talking more in the next couple of days and make a plan to get together. If I'm going to see if AA is "right" for me as a part of my long term sobriety, then I think it's only fair that I do the program as intended, since that is an important tenet of AA. (I know the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking, but there is also the recommended format for success, and that's what I think it's important for me to do in order to develop a fair assessment...)

Let me know if I'm off base with that.....

Just to make ammends if any were needed, I took some M&M's to M&M guy today. It wasn't necessary of course but he's been having a rough week with his teen step kids so was fun to put a smile on his face.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: I'm happy that you've found a sponsor. I think it will make a difference in your life. I hope she will have a sense of how to guide you through the steps. I've been working the steps w/my spons for about 2 weeks. It's been a huge change for me. Right now, I've been writing about my concept of a higher power (step 2). I read the literature every day & report in to my spons. I feel supported & guided for the first time in a long time. If I have a drinking thought ( I haven't had too many), all I have to do is get down on my knees & pray until it passes.

As far as anonymity: My life & my health is much more important to me than my image as a sober person. I'm not a sober person (yet). I do get a little queasy feeling right before the meeting, wondering whom I'll run into. If it's a person I know from the community, so be it!

Mary

[Accountable for Me]

My Early AA Thoughts

I am going to a LifeRing meeting tonight. I went last week along with an AA meeting.

I don't want to go but my new friend (the one that I went for coffee with, and to the AA meeting with) thinks I should. I probably should. Not that I want to drink; but I do feel like I need to be around people to get me out of my funk today.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

AFM: Yes, yes, yes. For me, funks = drinking. At least you'll break your isolation. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

AFM, I'm really sorry to read of your funk. Dealing with parental issues can be such a challenge. I'm finding that one of the benefits for me of going to these meetings IS to get my mind off of any "problems of the moment" by stimulating my thinking in other directions. Or someone will say something that gives me good food for thought on a current problem that I'm pondering.

What the heck, right? Can't hurt.

Mary you are so right about life and health trumping anonymity. I'm not even worried about it any more. It's so funny because during the week I have the vehicle I normally drive, which has our business logo and phone number in "medium size." On Saturdays Mr. Doggy takes my truck to dog training, and I use his BIG truck which is like a billboard on wheels with the vehicle graphics. It's become sort of a running joke - "so much for anonymity" whenever I'm arriving or leaving. (there is usually a small group outside the door smoking since you can't smoke inside any more in IL)

It's so funny because here at MWO a person with 9 months sobriety seems like they've been sober for a really long time. But in reality, I'm a baby at this. It feels very comforting to be in a room with so much truly "senior" sobriety to learn from. I'm looking forward to working with a sponsor just to see how it feels to have a specific person guiding my journey who has years under her own belt. I hope it works out in a positive way. I am trying to just "be" in an open minded way and not worry about the AA things that may be difficult or problematic for me.

Anyway....good to see everyone. Gotta go check my little roasted chicken now!

DG