Things that are problematic for me:
1) The Higher Power as God. While it is said that this is a spiritual rather than religious point, there is understandably a large Christian contingent in AA where appropriately for a practicing Christian, the HP = God. But I can absolutely agree that the power in the amazing universe around us does NOT come from ME. So I will take it on faith that I will not have religion shoved at me in an unwelcome way.
2) The disease model. I'm not even sure if that is an AA thing, or just a strong belief (seemingly at this early stage) among a lot of the AA participants here in this location. That's not really a big sticky point for me as I don't know whether alcohol addiction is a disease or not, and I don't really care. I'm of the mind that alcohol is extremely problematic for ME and I can't drink it, regardless of whether it's a disease or not.
3) AA is the only way to sobriety. My impression is that this notion is a STRONGLY imbedded belief. I might have had a HUGE problem with that had I started out in AA. (or maybe not - can't turn back the clock now!) I was rather shocked at my first meeting when I introduced myself and said I was sober since last May and this was my first closed AA meeting. The shock and disbelief in the air was palpable and caught me by surprise. The reactions of lots of people seemed to range from strong curiosity to outright disbelief. At least one person in the room thinks I am an outright liar. But since I'm not, I don't let this bother me.
Despite issues like the ones noted, with the HP issue being the most significant from my POV, I think there is a LOT of positive to be gained from AA for me, in the spirit of "take what you need and leave the rest."
The collective years of sobriety in the room at meetings is amazing. At each meeting I have attended there are NUMEROUS people with over 10 and 20 and even 30 years of sobriety under their belts. I want to learn from these people. Just due to the more recent popularity of the internet if nothing else, that length of sobriety is just not well represented at MWO or SMART on-line. (although there are way more people with multiple years of sobriety active at SMART than here at MWO in my casual and unscientific observation) Since my plan is to remain sober for the rest of my life, I want to know all the secrets of the long termers.
I'm sure this varies by location, but the group at this location is a large one. Therefore, it seems to be a very diverse group in terms of age, sex, race, personality type, hair color, etc. etc. Of course everyone shares a common enemy! Within this diverse group I can see the possibility of developing relationships and even friendships that are "3D" (in real life). I treasure my internet friends here and at SMART. I'm just looking to expand my support network! And sometimes it's nice to know you can get a real physical hug when needed, in addition to cyber hugs if that makes any sense.
I'm not rushing into the whole sponsor thing and all of that. One meeting at a time LOL! It is so amazing to hear story after story from person after person and be able to relate EXACTLY to so much of it. In the later years I isolated myself SO much with my bottle that it is still comforting to realize how many people I really do share this problem with. I'm not alone and these AA meetings are a positive reinforcement of that notion for me.
My thoughts have been racing on this subject for the last several days and I'm going off the top of my head so am sure I'm forgetting points that I will come back and add later. But I would be very remiss if I did not credit our sober friend AA for piquing my curiosity to a level that resulted in action. AA, you share so much of yourself in your posts and it is so clear that you have grown and matured as a person, friend, husband and father. You've clearly gone beyond just "stopping drinking" and you have credited AA for helping you in this process. I want some of what you have.
I would encourage anyone struggling here to at least check out your local AA. The way I see it, I can't have too much support in this battle. For better or worse, AA is a huge organization and therefore it's all over the place and accessible in a way that other programs are not. The way I see it, I can stop going at any time. It's not hurting me. I may not agree with everything, but I don't agree with everything here either. That doesn't stop me from getting value here, or there. I am determined NOT to lose one more minute of my life to AL. So I'll continue to assemble more weapons to use in the battle.
And there you have it. I can't help but go to another meeting this morning. During the "laughter" topic yesterday I was accused of looking like Sarah Palin. (it's the glasses and the hair - I don't have glasses on in my pics here at MWO) I insist that I DO NOT look like Sarah Palin, I look like Tina Fey. I can't quit until we have that straight.
I would be very interested in other views on this subject. (hence a separate thread) Might help me with my own understanding and might help others here too! The important thing for each of us is that we find a way to get sober for good.
DG
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