My Early AA Thoughts

[cowgal]

My Early AA Thoughts

oky!

so glad you are doing ok! I love AA now too.............was off and on about how I felt for a long time, but now I think it works so well, I have SOOOO Many people there who truly love and care about me, my sponsor for one! I am on step 9 and been in the program for 6 months w/ a couple slips, but minor ones really since I "kept going back" the bad ones are when we don't and they find out we died or something and that HAS happened to some people I have known in AA already......................scarey stuff, but glad to see you doing so well.................

lots of love,:l:h:l

MA

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hello all! Boy the 7AM Sunday group sure challenges me to think! This is good. This is the smallest group I have met with but they have a LOT of sobriety between then and are a real no bullshit bunch. I think I have found what feels like a "home base." I can be a big bullshitter and I need to be around people who see it for what it is and won't let me get away with it. I've been told "I will know" when and if the right potential sponsor comes along and I think I've settled on a woman I want to talk to about it. She has been sober 10 years and seems very wise in that. She seems like a no bullshit sort. I know she is OK with where I currently stand in terms of higher power discussions. I asked her if she would have lunch with me this week and she said yes so we shall see if she calls. I suspect she knows what's coming LOL!

I am amazed by the humble and mature honesty I see from so many of these people. Sorry guys - but especially the men. I've never been around so many men (in person) who are so honest about their own bullshit. It's quite refreshing. Of course lots of the women fit this description too - I guess I'm just more used to seeing that level of open discussion with women.

One thing that "spoke" to me today from this group was an acknowledgement from one of the guys that I showed up there in a "non-standard" way already having some sobriety under my belt. He said it happens, but is not the norm so he hoped I felt welcome and basically let them know it's as odd for them as it probably seems odd for me. I'm probably not describing this very well, but it was a VERY positive thing for me. The fact that he could imagine that I might feel funny about it, and that they do too just sort of got that issue off the table for me.

This group was talking about Step 9 today - making amends to those we have harmed. I'm starting to realize that I have shoved a lot of stuff I'm not very proud of back into the deep dark corners of my brain while I was convincing myself "I'm not THAT bad......"

No, I don't think I'm a piece of shit. (I've heard people who do not like AA say that "AA tears you down.") But I DO think I've got some house cleaning to do before I can live a rich and honest sober life. Realizing I did NOT do right by my Little Brother (Big Brothers Big Sisters) because I was too busy putting my drinking first is one good example of the sort of stuff I'm talking about.

Anyway...one day at a time and it's mostly good so far.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I don't want to post my AA stuff on the daily thread, as there are so many of us that can't abide it. That's OK. It's working for me. Ditto on the meetings that bring me to tears. I just met w/my sponsor this AM & took the first step: admitting that I'm powerless over AL (after the first sip) & my life has become unmanageable (duh, as the kids would say). I'm on to the second step. My spons is so balanced & calm. I don't have to over-think anything. It feels great to just let someone else be in charge of me & my program. Good luck one & all. If AA doesn't work, something else will if you really want to stop drinking. My sponsor is someone who stopped drinking through Alanon, not through AA.

Remember that MWO is always a huge support for me & I love coming here & reading & sharing.

Mary

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: I love your sharing.

My sponsor just told me that one of the tenets of the program is:
-Trust God (higher power, et. al.)
-Clean house
-Help others

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Mary. You sound really good and I am happy that you have found a good "place" to continue your work on your sobriety. I agree that it's good to post here about more detailed AA thoughts rather than on the daily thread. Both are good threads but I sure wouldn't want anyone to feel AA is being shoved at them if they are not interested. (especially in the lengthier details that we've been getting into here!)

Good for you Mary!!

DG

[Cinders]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Mary, DG, Oky and MA,

Just a quick "drive by" on the AA thing, I am busy, busy, busy today with grandkids and a Birthday dinner for SIL to get done.

However, yesterday they talked about the "committee" in your head. The one that sends all that noise to your brain about stuff. Like the man who shared that a loved one had said something that really hurt him. Rather than talking calmly about it, he stewed on it and the "committee" kept telling him what she had really meant.

When he realized what he was doing, instead he calmly discussed with her what she had said and how it had hurt him. (Resentments are dangerous for us alcoholics..) She explained what she had meant. It was nothing like he was thinking. :-)

Others talked about how their heads would think so much of the future and of the past and forget that the present is important.

I could relate to everyone's sharing.

I try not to share too much because I am still so young in my steps but it does me so much good to listen. They appreciate my presence, though, and I am so warmly welcomed by so many every time I go there, it is amazing.

Love,
Cindi

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Cowgal!
It's crazy that I spent all that time and $ going to Vermont when the answer was right here (and free) all along.
I'm happy you are doing well. I know I'll have good and bad days cause that's life. But I'm learning to live today and not worry about tomorrow.

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi all
You all sound wonderful. Congrats Mary on doing Step One. My sponsor postponed again, but I understand. Great meeting this morning. The speaker talk about fear and fitting in, and about sarcasm being a form of anger. I use a great deal of sarcasm, so it gave me alot to think about. My sponsor wanted me to go to another meeting this evening as I missed yesterday, but I am just too tired. No one is home. There is peace and quiet and I would like to relax.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I'm signing off for tonight. I need to do some of the AA reading. Mary

[vinophile]

My Early AA Thoughts

Such a very interesting thread here!!!!
I, too, had felt very resistant to the recovery potential of AA. I joined the program on Oct 1st and have been amazed at the power of the program.
I have taken notes on many of the observations about the program made in this thread, as so many of them express my original skepticism about the program.
The one true thing about the program is that is works and that it feels darn good once you get involved in it.
I have made some wonderful friends at AA. We drinkers tend to isolate ourselves. Before, when I tried to pull together some sober time I would truly have to isolate myself because so many of my friends were people who drank. AA has made me feel much less isolated.
I certainly do not love every aspect of the program but I totally agree with AAthelete when he states "you can mold bits and pieces of the program into your life and probably get some dramatic results"
I have told some of my friends at AA about this forum and believe one or two of the might begin participating here. This place is also a wonderful resource and has been instrumental in my recovery process.
It's good to be here.

Janet

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Janet: One of the tenets of the AA prog is "take what you like & leave the rest." At this point though, I'm doing everything my spons tells me to do. I've been abs & relapsing for a long enough time that I feel I want to do whatever it takes to get totally sober. If that means I have to get down on my knees or attend more meetings or whatever, I'll do it. I feel that committed. I don't feel desperate...just committed. Every meeting isn't wonderful & a total inspiration. However, I get a little something every time I go. I don't need an earth-shaking experience to come out of a meeting w/something positive. Mary

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I just had my daily call w/my spons. That's a discipline that takes some accommodation on my part. I'm not accustomed to depending on someone or taking advice. I'm usually the giving it. I'm reading & journaling & doing whatever I'm supposed to do. It feels good to be guided like this. It's giving me more of a sense that there is something (not just my spons...a spiritual force) behind me. Good luck one & all. No AA meeting today, but I'm going to try a new one tomorrow at 10 am. Mary

[Seacailin]

My Early AA Thoughts

I hear ya Mary. My sponsor left me a voicemail that was a bit stern. I am sort of rebellious, and not quite used to that either. I do need an ass kicking though, as I allow my depression to keep me in bed a few days a week. Not good, but not adding Alcohol. I will call her this morning and go to a meeting tonight.

[AAthlete]

My Early AA Thoughts

Re & Sea, just a quick note to say good job on sticking with it. Lots of proverbial bumps in this road but you guys are doing awesome.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I really like this thread. I don't feel I can fully share AA stuff on the daily. If folks are turned off about AA, they won't have to read about it on the daily & can just avoid this one. Sea, I've been trying to do exactly what my spons says to do. Going it alone didn't get me anywhere. I've got to put my pride aside & do the next right thing. Mary