My Early AA Thoughts

[Joanna]

My Early AA Thoughts

Peace totally relate to what you said about 'loving a wine glass'. I look at my unused ones now in the cupboard gathering dust and they look so attractive! Large and cold and round; even holding one would feel good. They make me feel lonely when I look at them like I have lost something. Perhaps I should just chuck em all out........

and AF wine here in UK is absolutely piggin' disgusting!!

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

Joanna... please read the post in the "tool box" thread called "gratitude mode vs. deprivation mode," OK?

[Guitarista]

My Early AA Thoughts

Greetings all. DG. You've been drinking N/A beer, on rare occasions, that has some alcohol in it?! Wouldn't that mess with your brain chemistry? That would be playing with fire for me. Have a great, sober w/kend everyone!............G.

[llsadaa1]

My Early AA Thoughts

We have had this discussion at my AA meetings. If you look at the label of NA beer, it does contain a small % of alcohol so I feel that by teasing my stinking thinking will put me right back in the insanity of my drinking. I don't want to go back. As for wine glasses, I put grape or apple jice in them so I still get that feel of luxury of the wine glass.

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

I occasionally, or a few times, had the NA beer (with small amounts of alcohol in it)... years ago, when I was in AA. These days, I don't see the point. I have read and heard reviews of NA wine and they all sound pretty bad. I really don't want to drink any of that stuff, not so much because there is a very small amount of alcohol present (I cook with wine, and I know that not all of it is really "cooked away"), but because I don't want to be in any way pretending to drink... for me it is as if I am retaining a bit of the thinking that alcohol is "special" and that I am being deprived of it... that's why I suggested that Joanna read the "gratitude vs. deprivation" post in the tool box thread... I think we are all vulnerable to that kind of "woe is me, I don't get to drink and other people do get to drink" thinking, which can be really insidious (looking wistfully at the lovely wine glasses, for example) and really dangerous, too...

[Accountable for Me]

My Early AA Thoughts

I, personally can't see the point in drinking an AF beer or wine. For me it isn't the real deal and I never really enjoyed the taste of beer. Wine was a quick way for me to get drunk.... nothing else. I did like a couple of red wines but that was after I gulped the first two glasses quickly for toleration. Oh joys..........!

Wine glasses are pretty. I never drank out of them anyway. lol. I tended to drink all of my alcoholic drinks in mugs. I was past the elegance. hahaha

[Joanna]

My Early AA Thoughts

WIP

Reading the gratitude vs deprivation thread was the first thing I looked at when I joined here. The head understands it perfectly ; the heart will catch on a little later.

I apologize; I am extremely self deprecating in my tone; it is a shortcoming of mine.

I was being facetious to myself because I find it helps me to step back from my situation and not take myself so seriously. I also need to remember that online, people do not see you face to face. I'm sorry

[A Work in Progress]

My Early AA Thoughts

Joanna: No need at all to apologize! We are all struggling to understand and help each other (and ourselves!) here, despite the limitations of disembodied internet communication...

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I can't add anything to the N/A beer or wine discussion. If I'm not going to drink, I'd rather have soda or a juice spritzer.

I met w/my spons today & am going on to the 3rd step. I've read the material, took notes, & will report to my spons tomorrow morning. The daily call is very important to my prog.

Good luck one & all. I'm going to a meeting tonight. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi all! I've been a bit limited in terms of internet access this weekend - yesterday my own computer crashed so the little reading / posting I did was from Mr. D's computer. Then today in all the storms all of our cable services went out. I'm glad I've been busy building a life with lots of other stuff to do LOL!

Funny about the NA beer thing - it just caught me by surprise - just hadn't even thought about it ever as something that would be a sober date changing thing (even though it has no more than .05% alcohol. For any math geeks, that means AT .05% it would take 20 NA beers to = 1 regular beer). For an average of 1 NA beer a month, I'm not starting over!!

You all are right...AA has no formal position but it is frowned upon. The whole episode got me thinking that the bottom line? If it's important to me to drink it, then it's important for me to NOT drink it. Know what I mean??? Has never caused a problem before but why tempt things??

Anyway...in more important news I met one on one with my sponsor today and I just love her to pieces. She seems to have a balance that fits well for me of humor, raw honesty, and both feet on the ground. My assignment for now are to read the first 164 pages of the Big Book (no rush to get it done), start a journal, and get the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book. I can handle that.

I'm settling into the meetings that feel like a good fit for me. This early meeting on Sundays seems super. It is strictly for review of the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions. When they finish, they start over. We're reviewed Tradition 9 today which was very interesting. It was a very small group - LOL I think the time change "got" some folks! It would have "got" me too if Mr. Doggy hadn't remembered to change all the clocks last night. Anyway, the small group allowed for lots of questions about the AA organization and what it does and doesn't do. It's really a very minimalistic approach which is part of why I think it has withstood the test of time.

Anyway, life is good. Thanks to everyone for your input on the NA Beer thing!

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I just got back from a meeting. It was mostly men...very few women. I guess women feel more shame about admitting alcoholism. I think it's more socially acceptable for men to be heavy drinkers. Anyhow, if I don't admit my alcoholism, I'll never get well. Tonight we read out of the big book. The story was titled: "Me? An Alcoholic?" I'd have to say that the story hit home...it was all about denial. People who are successful & look good but have a secret drinking problem. That would be me. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Mary I can really relate to YEARS of working hard to keep up that "success" image while denying and hiding my alcoholism. There is a part of me that feels so good to be free, and willing to admit to people that I don't drink any more, and why. And it's REALLY great to be able to talk about the gory details not only here at MWO but face to face with others who truly understand.

Mary, are there a lot of different meetings available in your area so you can try different groups? I feel very lucky that while men are in the majority of the meetings I've "settled in to" there are quite a few women as well. And many of those who are not shy about speaking up and who have lots of sober time so it's really beneficial to hear what they have to say. I hope you can find a core group of women like that to "follow around." (LOL at the thought of "stalking" people you like through AA meetings...sorry I have a sick sense of humor!!) I learn a lot from the men too, but there is something very special about the female bond in AA it seems. (although I'm not sure that all women groups would work for me....more on that some other time!! Too much estrogen without any testosterone for balance doesn't always work well......)

Anyway, I'm doing a quick check in here before heading out for the AM activities.

Caio!!

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Yes, there are a lot of meetings here in my area. I'm trying many of them...some are really big, some are really small. Last Thursday, I walked out to the parking lot w/one woman, & I think she's someone I could have coffee afterwards with next time. My Friday night meeting has almost half & half.

To be honest, I'm trying not to be too discriminatory about meetings (i.e. this one is "good" & this one is "bad"). I think I can get something out of every meeting whether I totally identify w/the other members or not. Last night I sat next to a woman who had just moved out of a battered woman shelter. She was very spiritual...I could feel spiritual energy emanating from her.

I'm going to meetings regularly, & that's what is important.

Take care, Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Oops - I hope I didn't sound discriminatory or like I'm being snooty in some way in choosing meetings. What I really meant is that each meeting has a very different "vibe" based on overall composition, size, ages, that sort of thing - just like ANY group of people. Also, different meetings have different topical content which as a "newbie" to AA, makes a different to me too. (i.e. discussion of the 12 steps - especially the single digit ones is more relevant to me at this moment than the topics in other meetings such as "As Bill Sees it" which is another group I've attended....)

I just hope I didn't sound like I'm too good for anyone because that is surely not the case.

The meeting I attended today was on the 3rd step which is a very tough topic for me with the Higher Power issues I have. But it's good to sit through meetings on that topic because I need to listen, learn, and figure out where I stand on it. I can't envision that being the traditional Christian religious view which seems to be the majority view at this particular club. (and that's OK) But I am taking the AA words at face value and giving a lot of thought to meaning of "higher power" to me in a more spiritual than religious sense, if that makes any sense. Might as well take the tough issues (for me) head on, now.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: I know exactly what you mean about all the "God" emphasis. I'm working step 3 right now...trying to see what God's will for me is, instead of my own (which hasn't served me very well of late). There's a chapter for the agnostic in the Big Book about how to deal w/the HP issue. Also, many of the other readings offer thoughts about it.

As far as meetings: They are not all created equal. I know there might be some that I just can't identify with. That's OK. I'll just do the best I can to find the ones I like. I'll also drop into my Alanon meetings that I've been attending for years & years.

I'm finding that working the steps w/a spons is invaluable. I check in every single day for a few minutes. I do whatever he tells me to do. Readings, journaling, etc.

Take care. Keep me informed about your impressions about the meetings you go to. I love hearing about it.

Mary