My Early AA Thoughts

[gyco]

My Early AA Thoughts

hi all,glad to see AA working for you,remember take it slow,i mite go today,we have lots of meetings here,so i just got to be careful ,to find the rt one,and what i say,or hear,as i was tot in rehab,,listening can never get you into trouble, zip your lips,think b4 you talk,have a wonderful day, gyco

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Sea: Hello. I said it in another message but something happened to that message. I'm glad things are going so well for you. Mary

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi Everyone,
Went to an 11th step meeting last night and they had a 20 min silent period for meditation.
That was cool.
I appreciate all you said about not being ashamed. I'm getting passed that. "Being sober" (man, I never thought I would talk like that) for 2 months has really opened my eyes to just how selfish I've been. Looking forward to step 4 and 5 so I can put all that stuff behind me. But as you say Gyco, we need to take it slow. I know the timing of all this isn't mine to decide.
Funny you mentioned about the church Cindi because I've been thinking about going to the church where my home group meetings are. It's Methodist and I've never been but I get a feeling they are really good people to open their doors (lots of meetings are held there)
I'm finally getting some energy back and had a great workout today

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

I'm going to say goodnight for now. I had to b-sit the g-sons, so couldn't go to a meeting. I really missed it. I'll go tomorrow...it happens to be a step/trad meeting that I like. My spons wants me to either get there early or stay late & actually converse w/people...maybe get a phone number or two...EEK! Mary

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

"So it's time for us - each in our own way and our own timing - to work our way out of the closet. Of course that's only my opinion. "
I just re-read this and I agree with you DG!
If someone I knew and respected hadn't told me she was in AA, I would have never gone to a meeting.
I've met so many women like us since I have joined and I imagine there are so many out there terrified as I was to look to AA for help because of fear of shame and embarrassment.

On another note, I bought the Big Book on CD and I'm pretty sure it is Martin Sheen's voice

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Interesting about Martin Sheen.

Oky, I loved what you said about "working our way out of the closet." I didn't go around to everyone & say: "Hey, I'm an alcoholic & have just joined AA." It's coming out a little at a time to selected people. There might be people I never tell. However, the key people in my life know about me going to AA.

Also, I'm working the steps. Right now, I'm just reading about step 4 in preparation of doing it. It's been helping.

Mary

[Cinders]

My Early AA Thoughts

I had a Big Book meeting last night. I enjoy them, myself. It is good to read and then hear other's perspectives on what the words mean to different people.

We started at the end of Step 4 - pg 68, and ended up reading about Step 5.

There were several new people there last night. I hope they keep coming back.

AA is truly helping to keep me sober.

I have unfortunately ventured into other posts where people are making fun of those of us who have chosen this path. I have to be careful because I am doing so well for the first time ever and it truly is AA that has given me that boost.

I am so grateful for MWO, my friends and AA. Today I am sober and it makes me feel so much hope.

Love,
Cindi

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Cindi: Stay away from those posts! Making fun of something like AA is just a sign of insecurity. Please don't take any of it to heart & be careful where you go around here. That might sound paranoid, but after what happened to WIP & Satori (both valuable members), I stick to this thread & the daily only.

Mary

[Chief]

My Early AA Thoughts

I just want to say I'm so proud of all of you who are finding success with AA.......especially Mary and Cindi.....and DG, you are doing a marvelous job. Even though I have never gone to an AA mtg, this thread has opened my eyes.

Ignore those who berate AA...... it's working for you, and as my dad used to say...."if it works, don't fix it!"

Don

[cpn1004]

My Early AA Thoughts

I agree with Chief. Keep up the good work y'all and keep posting for us lurkers.
Love and Peace,
Phil

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Lurkers: Don't feel shy about jumping in! I love hearing from all of you. I'm heading to a meeting tonight. My sponsor told me to get there early &/or stay late so I could "socialize." I've been running right out the door at the end of the meeting. So, I'm going to see if there's a woman close to my age whose phone number I can take. Wish me luck. I'm still so new & nervous about this, I have a hard time relaxing into it. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi all! Chief and Phil it's nice to have you lurking! Don't hesitate to jump on in. Chief, I always had a negative opinion of AA without ever learning anything about it or going to a meeting. I can only attribute that to my bad neighborhood of a mind working over time trying to keep drinking open as an option. One thing I DID know about AA is that you had to admit the true nature of the alcohol problem, and accept that drinking needs to go for good. Old AL didn't want anything to do with that.

Today's morning meeting was awesome. The topic was remorse, and moving forward from the devastating, embarrassing, rotten things we have done in our past. As people spoke, some was light hearted in tone and some was quite serious. But what is amazing is how I used to think that my problems / stories / lies / experiences were unique and that I was alone. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Us alkies have more common experiences than we think. What's nice is when things get far enough into the rear view mirror, we can laugh at those experiences - we were not alone in them after all, and we can grow past them. It was sort of like laughing at something that happened way back in high school that was devastating at the time, but is humorous today. Getting past the remorse is part of the healing.

The more I continue to get to know these people, the more I like and respect them. It's not due to their higher power and who that is or whether they admit they are powerless over alcohol or not. I like and respect them because they are honest about where they have come from, and where they are today. They care deeply about each other. I get the feeling that some of them are starting to care a little bit about me even though I am new. I will feel honored if someday some of these folks consider me a friend - I know I will have to earn it. That's what it's all about for me. I see tons of character in these people. So if "working through a step" (still am not 100% sure what that means) that uses language such as "character defects" that I can't stand, well...so be it. I want some of what these people have. A peace and serenity that is seeing many of them through very hard times with the economic climate. A quiet strength. A sense of humor. A willingness to maintain composure and appropriate order even with people have differing points of view or don't even like one another. A mutual respect.

I never thought I would hear myself say that I look forward to AA. But I do. Despite the things that are problematic to me about the program. The thing I always have to keep in mind is that the only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. Everything else is voluntary. I don't HAVE to read the Big Book. I don't HAVE to know what the steps are, much less how to "work" them. I don't HAVE to have the same view of HP/God as anyone else. I don't HAVE to speak and I don't HAVE to be quiet. I don't even HAVE to put a dollar in the basket when it's passed. All I HAVE to do is want to be sober.

I'm looking forward to reading on in the Big Book - Bill's Story is pretty interesting. I also checked out the book My Name Is Bill from the library which I think will lend greater understanding to this program and it's founder. I'm sure a certain historical perspective will help me better understand some of the AA "stuff."

I had a private meeting with my sponsor today. I hadn't planned on it, but ended up pouring my heart about about some things that I haven't even shared here. It felt good to release some of that. My sponsor just listened. She doesn't "feel sorry" for me. She can relate and understand though. I like her more every day. Her approach is something I think I will benefit from. I feel like I was so stagnant for so many years with my head in the bottle, I'm excited to finally get back to the land of the living, meeting some good folks face to face who share my problem and are successfully living sober, and GROW (up).

DG

I am glad we are posting together here in this thread. Hopefully having a well identified AA thread for AA discussion in the abstinence section of the forum doesn't offend anyone - I certainly don't think it should. If even one alcoholic person finds their way to a sober path based on something said here (whether that path includes AA or not) then it has been worth our time to share beyond the many benefits we get by just participating. If someone chooses to poke fun, so be it. I'm very sure I have done and said things that have hurt or offended others here at MWO...it happens.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: I too have so many things that I feel remorseful about. My sponsor tells me that doing the 4th step inventory (& the 5th step) will help put those things behind me. I don't have a problem w/the words shortcomings & character defects, because I've been going to Alanon for 22 years & have heard them so much. I do have characteristics I don't like about myself, & I think it will be a sign of stength to come out & admit them & try to work on them. I recognize that I'll never be perfect...I just want to live a good life...open & honest. The AA program is very open & accepting. I've heard all kinds of things in meetings, including old-timers who have said that they have never done the steps & hate step meetings. Nobody condemns. BTW, my daughter pokes fun at the 12 step programs all the time. It doesn't bother me at all. There might be a time when she could use one, & she'll know where to go for information.

DG: I just looked in to your story on the story forum again. What great stuff! I put in my 2 cents if you're interested. You're beautiful also...inside & out. Your hubbie must be on cloud 9 & all his friends are probably jealous as heck.

Love, Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi all. I can't believe I am disappointed that I won't be going to an AA meeting this morning. Hard to believe I was so staunchly "AA is NOT for me" for so long. Maybe I just got lucky with the people that regularly go to this particular club at the times I go. Lord knows the evening crowd was a LOT different (but I still liked it). I found out later that the evening meeting I dropped into mid way was the Monday night Biker Meeting. We've had a few warm days here, but I'm guessing not all bikes are out of their winter homes yet, otherwise that fact might have been more obvious.

I would normally go at 10:30 AM but I have been giving rides to a girl who is currently staying at a nursing home following several knee sugeries. She was in a bind as she has an important doctor appointment this morning. Usually the nursing home provides transportation to any medical stuff, but for some reason they can't accomodate today. So I'm going to help her out. In the spirit of 'what goes around comes around' I would sure hope somebody would help me out if I were in that situation.

So...it gives me a chance to either take a 'day off' or maybe check out the late afternoon meeting, which is what I will probably choose to do.

I have some more thoughts to post on effectiveness of alcohol recovery programs (which seems sadly low no matter which program you look at including MWO, AA, SMART, etc. etc.) but I have to run for now. Have a good day all. Will be back later to check in here and of course the Daily thread - didn't have time to start it this morning!

DG

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG, Mary and Cindi, Sea and Gyco...you all inspire me
I will recieve my 2 month coin today. My sponsor will be giving it to me and to be honest, I can't take any of the credit. As we all know, willpower has nothing to do with it.
As I look back, I can see how this all unfolded. I first realized I had a problem and wanted to do something about it when I found this site. I was so excited about the thought that I could moderate with this program. I was crushed when it didn't work and then thought I could be healed instantly if I flew across the country to see Rhonda. I pretty much gave up after that didn't work. And then the drinking got worse (it really is progressive) and someone came into my life that needed to tell me she was in AA. (She had no idea I had a problem) It took me a while, but I finally told her I wanted to go to a meeting and it has truly been a miracle. I finally see hope as you say DG to "get back to the land of living and Grow UP
I miss WIP I don't go to any of the other threads anymore so I don't know what happened but if you are reading this, I want you to know I have always appreciated your honesty and I thought about you at my 11th step meeting....