My Early AA Thoughts

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Guitarista: Yes, there is NO pressure to say anything at all. At some meetings I've raised my hand & introduced myself as a newcomer. However, I've been going for weeks & still have not picked up a newcomer chip (which some groups give out). I also haven't shared. I'm still at the stage of entering & leaving meetings wo/saying very much to anyone. I'm letting my inner self (HP?) guide me. Tonight there is an anniversary meeting (25 years), & there will be a pot-luck supper prior to it. I'm planning on bringing a pasta salad & getting there early. There are a couple of women at that meeting I'd like to get to know. We'll see! I'm not pressuring myself.

It is a great feeling to be in a group of people who have had the same issues I've had. BTW, interestingly, that argument about whether I'm an alcoholic or not is decreasing. You don't have to be living out of a cardboard box & drinking hooch out of a paper-bag to be an alcoholic.

I'll check back later or tomorrow to let you know about tonight's meeting.

Mary

PS: Good luck. I found meetings on-line at the AA website. Then when I went to my first meeting, I picked up a little book listing all the meetings in my area.

[gyco]

My Early AA Thoughts

hi all,doggy lady you impress me more and more ,not that you have to, since i started reading this thread or post,as you go to AA you'll learn lots more,good and bad,AA will not keep you sober,it will ,just , show you how to live the sober life,you have to most of the work yourself,or being with others in the same boat,most of us have lots of experience on drinking,some of us are pro s at it, hahahahha,oky congrats,see it ain't so hard,if you keep reading the 1st 164 pages,over and over and over again,it starts to make sense,i like what doglady says,god,higher power,like your mom and dad in the end.,will not hold your hand forever,thnx dog let it go on[the thread]gyco

[CS04]

My Early AA Thoughts

I went to a meeting once where they made me read from a paper -- I guess it's part of the Big Book. I felt really put upon, and I had never had that happen before. I also didn't finish part of the reading (not intentionally) and someone else finished it. I felt kinda stupid. Not to put a downer on Doggygirl's thread, because most AA meetings I have been to have been a decent experience, but when they asked me if I wanted to "read", I thought I was "reading" for my own information -- not aloud. Different meetings have different personalities.

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

CS: You're right about the meetings having a different feel for each one. I have never shared in a meeting. I always say "pass." I want to share when I'm ready, not when I feel I have to. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Gyco I love your new avatar and appreciate you sharing your AA experience!

Mary, I hope you have fun at the pot luck. I haven't gone to any social things yet but there is an easter egg hunt coming up the weekend after next. People will be bringing their kids/grand kids so I volunteered to help hide easter eggs and some of that sort of stuff. There is also a bowling outing which I heard is really fun that one of the groups is sponsoring in mid April. We shall see. Like you - I'm not pressuring myself over stuff like that.

CS04 - all of the meetings except one that I go to have what I think are the standard AA readings to start the meetings. The preamble, How It Works, Promises, and then a couple of daily readings. They way they handle those readings at this club is that the applicable sheets or books are on the tables, and one of them might already be where you sit down, or if people want to read and get their early, they will grab one of the items that will be read. I'm guessing you might have sat with a reading in front of you without realizing it? Even if that DID happen I'm surprised someone didn't quietly talk with you about it, and take it over for you if you didn't want to read. It sounds like you might have gotten caught in an unusual situation. I've not seen anyone new OR old pressured to read and I don't think that's the overall AA intent. (just a group doing their own thing badly???)

In the interest of fair reporting, I will say that the group I've been going to the last few weeks on Tuesday mornings is probably not optimal for me. They are currently studying
an AA approved book called Living Sober (or is it Sober living? the yellow one...). The topics are really good - diet, exercise, sleep problems, stuff we tend to talk about here at MWO quite a bit. The problem is that (IMO) AA is a bit in the dark ages about say...sleep problems, or at least many of the people in this particular group are not open to more modern ideas. i.e. if sleep trouble is being caused by an amino acid deficiency (L-Tryptophan) then bringing up the levels of that amino acid will help solve the sleep problem. Same with a little help from L-Glutamine for cravings. And IMO, TELLING alcoholics to eat sugar stuff whenever they crave a drink is bad advice. I realize I'm suzy new comer and have not been sober very long (and at AA even less) so nobody has any reason to listen to me, and I respect that. That being said....it doesn't feel very productive to sit through that particular meeting. That's OK - there are plenty of others to choose from on Tuesday. And I can always see what book they plan to study next.

So there you have it! Have a great day everyone.

DG

[gyco]

My Early AA Thoughts

thnx dog lady,this thread like many others are ,i hope is a continuing one,ive been in and out of AA for ten years,as of the 6 march/09,when i returned a good friend of mine from child hood days,4o years ago,said something to me,i never thot of b4,gyco, your alchoholic when you say your alchoholic,i was impressed,many dont think you should continue with the steps till you acknowledge that, im alchoholic at the meetings,out of respect for the members,2ND part of the 1st step is your life is unmanageable,well lets think about that one,that was very easy to accept,when you cant remember the night b4 ,DA, somethings wrong,just took me longer,one of the other big things in AA,is the verse that states,a desire to stop drinking,many who go there still drink,just like,many who go to church still sin,sorry for the religious thing .but you no what i mean,Reasoning and acceptance of ones,downfalls,when intoxicated is very difficult,wouldn't you agree gyco

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Reasoning and acceptance of ones,downfalls,when intoxicated is very difficult,wouldn't you agree gyco

DOWNFALLS??? WHAT downfalls?? Especially when I'm drinking, I'm perfect. I sort of miss that part. just kidding of course

DG

PS - Meditation Mama is back and I'm SO EXCITED!!!!!

[okydoky]

My Early AA Thoughts

I also felt that admitting I was an alcoholic meant the "party" was over.
But on the contrary...now I feel like the party is just beginning. I'm enjoying each moment of each day sober....how much better can it get?

[nancy]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi all

I have been lurking here and on other thread categories too. I really admire you for doing whatever it takes to get sober and overlooking the bad to take advantage of the good. Doggygirl, you are a real fighter it seems!

I still disagree with AA even though I know it has much to offer. This thread brings it all out for me, the valuable social contact-- hearing the personal stories is so good. Accountability is there. And from what I remember, it's a real eye-opener to look around and see people who look just like you. I guess the stereotypes persist!

But the dogma is bad. I attended in the past and while I was allowed to "pass" on speaking at first, there was subtle pressure over time for me once I became an older newcomer to share out loud, and add things for the others. And to share you have to get up and say you are an alcoholic. Of course I also hated giving out my phone number and felt extremely pressured to do that. I know, it's all about support but it was hard for me.

And DG you are right about the nutrition aspects, though in my opinion supplements are a bit different, they are not proven, so I don't think an organization should necessarily take those up. I think they might have a point when they suggest you get through the withdrawal period without pills if possible.

But overall, it seems you are gaining so much and thanks for coming back and sharing with us all, even those of us who are going the moderation route can benefit.

Nancy

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

Everyone: Last night was the anniversary meeting & potluck supper. I was pretty nervous but did it. I brought a pasta salad. I'm so glad I went...there's something so valuable about walking through the fear. I sat at a table w/some folks then saw someone I had known from Alanon years ago. She too "discovered" she was an alcoholic. I took her phone number (whew! finally). People are starting to recognize me & speak to me by name. There was a woman at my table that I can sit next to at meetings. There were 2 speakers at the meeting. Their stories were incredible...it's a wonder they came back from some of their outrageous experiences. I still have the tendency to say: "Am not that bad, so am I really an alcoholic?" But, I know how much alcohol has dominated my life. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

Please don't hesitate to share about meetings. I love reading about it.

Nancy: Every meeting has a different aura. I have not felt pressured yet, but maybe there will be some that will do that to me. I feel that I now have some tools to deal w/overbearing members should that occur. Again, I still have not shared at a meeting & will know when I want to. I take what is valuable & leave what isn't.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

Hi all! Nancy, thanks for sharing your honest thoughts and experiences. Since I started my serious search for sobriety in 2007, I don't feel that I ever saw much about AA that was actually objective. It was either all rah rah or all "AA sucks." One extreme or the other. I hope as this thread continues to grow and evolve with everyone's thoughts and experiences, it provides some sort of balanced view of AA that will be helpful for peope who are searching for solutions to their alcohol (or drug, or other addiction) related problems.

Mary, it sounds like you had a nice time at the pot luck. You are easing my mind a bit about attending a social event.

Today's topic from the Daily Meditation is gratitude. It's a subject that I REALLY needed to hear today as I have been caught up recently in this health challenge which hard as I try not to, leads to some "drama thinking" in my head which turns selfish, which then leads to a pity party in my honor. Not productive and doesn't feel nearly as good inside as gratitude and peace. So today I might just start a little gratitude list - one of the folks at the meeting mentioned that she does this when she feels herself losing the good attitude. She will keep her note pad close at hand all day and note all the little things she is grateful for starting with a good cup of coffee in the morning.

One guy who I am really coming to respect has been sober for 17 years now. He is one to always have his Big Book handy (or one of the other books) and seems like he has all of it memorized - he can so easily turn to a page and say "I like what it says here on page X.......about X......." I was even more amazed when I learned recently that when he came to AA 17 years ago - he was in his 20's at the time - he could not read or write. Anyway, there were a couple of new people who were also very young at the meeting today. And he said "the old timers told me when I was new that the the most important key to long term sobriety is keeping an attitude of gratitude every day. I believe that and now I share that advice with you."

I'm glad I got to hear him say that. I wish I had it on video so you could get the full impact of how he speaks in addition to just my version of what he said. It felt really powerful and wise to me today.

Have a good one all!!

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: Yes, the attitude of gratitude. I take so much for granted in my very, very blessed life. I love hearing from the folks who have decades of experience in AA. I think that "rah, rah" attitude about AA that can be so annoying comes from that gratitude. Some of the folks I've met would be dead today wo/AA. I won't be going to a meeting today (& surprisingly will miss it), but I do have one tomorrow evening. I keep trying to remember "take what you like & leave the rest." I don't have to take it all in the first month I'm in AA. I'm trying to "easy does it." That's not my way...I'm an overachiever type & want to do it all at once. Good luck. Newbies to this thread: Don't hesitate to express your opinion & ask questions. Mary

[Doggygirl]

My Early AA Thoughts

retteacher;579737 wrote: I'm an overachiever type & want to do it all at once. ....... Newbies to this thread: Don't hesitate to express your opinion & ask questions. Mary

Hi again. Mary I enjoyed your WHOLE post but highlighted two parts. The first - about the "over achievers." Several of the women who chose to speak this morning (including me) agreed that we slip into "all or nothing" type thinking which I think is similar to the over achiever thinking that you mention. Makes sense - if we had more moderate natural tendancies instead of "all or nothing" we probably wouldn't be here, right? Either I want things to go totally my way, or *f* it all. That is something that I've used as an excuse to drink, and also to do or not do things that resulted in hurting others. I think that is another dangerous mode of thinking that can creep in if we lose our attitude of gratitude.

I ditto your invitation to newbies. The whole subject of AA can be SO polarizing. Like you Mary - I'm taking some stuff and leaving some stuff. Some might be just for now, others might be for the long haul. Either way it's OK and helping me to stay sober. Hopefully this thread is a safe place to comment or ask questions.

DG

[retteacher]

My Early AA Thoughts

DG: Definitely! If you have a criticism of AA, don't worry about offending...as long as it's not a personal attack, you're entitled to your own opinion. I sat w/someone at the meeting yesterday, who declared that I'd have to change EVERYTHING about my life. Well, guess what! There's plenty about my life that is working fine & doesn't need any changing. So, I guess I'm practicing what I'm preaching & taking some stuff & leaving some. Mary

PS: Yes, indeed, I get into black & white thinking...all or nothing. That must be one of the hallmarks of alcoholism.

PPS: One of the speakers last night said he had many of the "isms" before he picked up his first drink.

[narilly]

My Early AA Thoughts

yes, we can still go out....just have to be careful. Go out AFM and have fun.

I have a party to go to on Sat afternoon and I am already thinking about how I am going to say NO to a glass of wine. I used to think how I would make sure not to get out of hand- only have 1 or 2...it is easier just not to drink!

Lucky you have a Sponsor DG, I haven't got to that point yet.

I was at an AA meeting on Monday, it was really good. I enjoy the group I have found, there are a lot of old timers- you can sure learn alot from them. The first meeting I showed up at I was hungover, it is great to see my progression. It has been about 5 weeks now. YES!!

Narilly