AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

[Loppy lugs]

Good morning all.

Back again as a new start. After 9 months AF I slipped at the ball at the end of last month.
I was so disgusted with myself that I immediately started antabuse again. Felt fine so stopped taking it.

For some unknown reason I decided to start drinking again last Friday and have done so in secret for the last 5 days. Note that I decided..... What was that about?

Anyway I treasured my sobriety when I had it so here I go again.

[Marshy]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Loppy lugs;556971 wrote: I treasured my sobriety

Hang on to that thought!

[Kirova]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Sobriety IS a treasure...and we must fight to protect it.
Good morning Loppy and Marshy and all to come. It's another very cold morning here. Would love to get out for a run, but have to go into the office very early. I'll settle for a quick workout here at home.
Hope the middle of the week is a breeze for everyone! :h

[madisonmay]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

I hope you don't mind, I am jumping back on here after several months absense. Was here last August/September and did 42 days AF, then had a family crisis which I just couldn't deal with without al, I needed to blot out the hurt and pain. Took me a long time to come to terms with it. But have now decided I need to get back here, and get my life back on track, so I am making the commitment to remain AF for lent, so wish me luck. Day 1 today, I know I can do this with your help.

Madi
:l

[charlee]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Morning everyone
Loppy welcome back to the abs board......Don't know the why's behind your choosing to drink...I guess my thoughts would be "because I can", which is a response I use alot these days....probably because I know hubby hates it!!....Put it behind you and with one foot in front of the other go forward. That is all any of us can do...
Morning, Marshy and Kirova and welcome back Madisonmay...
Hope everyone has a great Wednesday....

[greeneyes]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Morning Abbers!

Hi marshy, charlee, & kriova! Welcome on board the wagon loopy and madison. Lots of room on here!

Just saying hi as I head out to my unpaid job, loyal sucker that I am. Well, there are loose ends and I don't have another job so I may as well keep bailing on the sinking ship. It's the right thing to do. On the other hand, it's a tough situation for me. I wanted to drink yesterday. Just stinkin' thinkin' stuff. Being mindful of my supps and quality food.

Hope everybody has a good day.

[Pamina]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Morning Marshy, Kirova, Charlee, Greenie - welcome back Loppy and Madi!

Loppy lugs;556971 wrote:

What was that about?

I wouldn't know Loppy, but it's worth having a think about. For me, if I do something I feel disappointed with, I can 'lose faith' in myself and go on to do something else I then feel disappointed by. Not a good cycle. Time to change direction.

I'm really enjoying the discussion on AA even though I've never attended their meetings. I'm actually minded to follow Mary, find a big meeting and sit in the back listening. I think I'd agree with DG about the 'powerlessness' issue. For the physically addicted, losing the ability to exert control once AL is in your system. For the emotionally dependent, like myself, losing the ability to snap yourself out of the state of mind you want to blot out with AL. Therefore being powerless in that moment. It wouldn't mean we're inherently powerless to control our actions or to work towards greater awareness or equanimity, but given where we're at today, this is the relationship we've developed with AL. Perhaps a more empowering formulation would be that we'd chosen to hand AL our power (which then still leaves us powerless...) Definitely no weenies here!!

I'll have you know that in my new non-weenie capacity, I sailed through a reception and dinner last night that were filled with booze. Actually I lost the people I was talking to for a while because they headed for the wine queue and I headed for the orange juice.

As for the important sober holidays topic - ahhh Italy!! Let's see now, there is 1. skiing - the mountains in the north are gorgeous in the winter time, yet offer plenty of opportunity for the athletically challenged to take the ski lift up to the top, sip some coffee and soak up the rays 2. art appreciation - the museums of course are treasure troves but even ordinary churches and public buildings have incredible painted murals and ceilings in the old cities 3. people watching - very fun pastime in the summer to find a spot on the piazza once you're tired from all your sightseeing 4. beaches - can be both public and private where you hire a lounge chair & parasol for a day, swim, chill out, eat well (they have their own canteens and even exercise classes) and engage in #3, then 5. ice cream - just pick a different flavour for every day of your tour, trust me you won't run out of flavours. There is a chapter devoted to 'sober holidays in Tuscany', which is a very special place and brings us back to photography, but maybe I'm starting to run off topic here. Where's the tourism section of the boards? Though honestly, Det, what ARE you waiting for??!! Life is already short enough for Italy, and don't even get me started on France...

Have a sober start to Lent, everybody.

[Mohun]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Welcome back Loppy and madisonmay. There have been a few slips lately.

My Italy trip is a long ways away (gotta put the kids through university yet :upset I am looking forward to doing a cooking tour (sans wine).

Here is a pic of Tucker when he is being good.

[Accountable for Me]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Mo, he is soooooooooooo adorable! Ahhhhhhhh!

I haven't been posting much lately on here. I am still sober and happy; just busy these days.

Loppy, you can do it again! Yes, sobriety is a treasure! When I slipped up almost 2 weeks ago; I was wondering WHY did I do that for??? It took me 4 days to get over the effects!!!

I have decided that I am a self-sabotager and I need to stop doing that. I deserve to feel great!

Have a great day everyone!

Oh, and I am going to a LifeRing meeting tonight at 7. I am kind of excited and nervous. I will let you know how it went.

[retteacher]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Hi Everyone: Who can resist a pic of a sleeping puppy...made me want to kiss the computer screen. I love the little pink tummy.

I just got back from a long walk w/my friend...one of the folks who witnessed my ER incident. As I process all this, I feel stronger & feel that what happened was meant to teach me something...not to drink being the #1 lesson. I'm also getting in touch w/deeper lessons about myself.

Working w/a sponsor has been very helpful. I'm usually a sponsor, mentor, role model, teacher. It's nice to let down my guard & be a student for a change.

Love, Mary

[Cinders]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Good Morning, Everyone!!

AFM, yes, please let us know how you meeting went. It sounds very interesting.

Mary, I am with you. It is wonderful to have someone teaching me for once.

Last night on the way home from IOP, I went ahead and stopped in to an AA meeting late. There were about 12 people there.

I just sat to listen and got to hear 3 great sharings. One really struck a chord with me. He said that at first, being sober is hard work, it is miserable, it is a fight. But it does get better and better as time goes on. (Whew!!)

What he did say that really hit me was, "At the end of the day, if you stayed sober, it was a good day." Otherwise, it would have been a drunk day. For me, drunk days are horrendous. I never know how they will end up but usually in disaster and more importantly in damage to my loved ones and damage to my own psyche.

So, I forge on, knowing it will get better, and that every day sober is a good day.

Love,
Cindi

ps Loved the puppy pic!! God they are so cute, aren't they?

[retteacher]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Cindi: Yes, I hope I don't face years & years of struggling. It's good to know that it does get easier. Mary

[Joanna]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

And I thought my dog was gorgeous .........!

I like that; a day without AL is a good day no matter what else has happened. 38 days in; I still feel like I'm not doing that well. Lots of friends who regularly drink masses; a husband who drinks around me. Other friends who don't really get it as they are not drinkers.... No-one really comments on my abstinence . It's hard because I don't feel supported as such when its really hard and miserable especially between now and 9 o'clock tonight the worst time.

I haven't worked out yet what my relationship with AL is. I feel I can't congratulate myself 'cos I shouldn't have been drinking that way anyway and 'it's no big deal' crops up 'cos perhaps I didn't have a problem anyway. I was 100 units a week every week. But I don't think I've grasped the seriousness of that because I stopped before I hit bottom. Now I feel depressed because I don't have AL to soothe me. When what I'd like to soothe me is success in my sobriety. Does this make sense?

[Miss Behaving]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

Joanna;557321 wrote: I feel I can't congratulate myself 'cos I shouldn't have been drinking that way anyway

Joanna,

I recognise this as something I have told myself a lot. I've also come to recognise it as a very self-critical part of myself that I'm trying to shut off a replace with a kinder and more positive message

You SHOULD congratulate yourself, because you were drinking too much and you have managed to get it under control for a whole 38 days!! Give yourself a break and a celebration because you deserve it. If not I'm going to do it for you!!!

:applaud::banana::applaud::banana::applaud::banana :

Congratulations Joanna - you are a star!!!

[A Work in Progress]

AF daily Wednesday 25 Feb

I agree with Mame.

It's not as if we drank so much because we were evil, depraved people. We have something wrong in our brains that makes us lose control over our drinking, makes us want it much, much more than people who don't have this problem. If everyone wanted alcohol as much as we did, and lacked control the way we do, everyone would have terrible problems with getting drunk. It isn't as if "normal" people are virtuous and exert strong self-control in order to control their drinking... For "normals," controlling their drinking isn't any more difficult than controlling their consumption of chocolate. People who are "normal" don't eat chocolate till they are throwing up, or drink Coca-Cola till they have poisoned themselves with it...