AF Daily Thursday 26 February

[Loppy lugs]

Morning all and it is a very mild one here.

I am in a very positive mood today. Yesterday I stayed sober. So I could count it as day one and start all over again but that seems daunting so I am going to count downwards. Of the last year I have has 295 sober days and 70 drunk days. Getting that last number down to the 6 of this lapse is the goal.

I also went to weightwatchers yesterday and joined a gym. These things seem to help so many others. Looking after myself properly will be a new experience.

Yesterdays thread gave me a lot to think about. For me a lot of it comes down to self harming. With food, alcohol or other methods. Perhaps now is the time to find proper help.

I liked the idea of carrying around a picture of me as a child.

Got to go to work now. But thanks all for giving me so much to think about.

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hi Loppy and all to follow - just a quick check in from me;
Very hectic day for me yesterday, didn't have time to post, but I just wanted to add how thought provoking yesterday's thread was - i've only had a quick read - not enough time to digest it properly and do it justice but I will read it again and post later - lots to think about. I'm off swimming now - I always find swimming very therapeutic and a good chance to sort things out in my mind

Will drop by later

[retteacher]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hi Loppy & Sausage: I'm going to my first AA meeting alone tonight. I know I'll be nervous, but I have to do this. I'm making this short, as I have to call my spons. I have specific times to call & report in. Mary

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Good morning to all in Ab Land! Loppy it's good to see you back although of course I'm always sorry to hear of struggles here. We CAN prevail over alcohol and I know we all eventually will!

You mention an interesting point about diet and exercise - no secret those have been important to me in changing to a sober life. But it also ties into something I was going to post today anyway. The last couple days have been very sloppy eating days for me compared to my normal diet. I ingested both sugar and wheat which are two things I just DON'T EAT normally. Boy can I ever feel it. I feel it in my mood, my lowered energy level, and surprisingly, the foot that was so painful when I first came to MWO in July of 2007. (has been pain free for a very long time) That old saying "we are what we eat" really rings true for me today. So...it's back on the wagon I go food wise! Funny too how we crave what is bad for us sometimes. True for me with alcohol AND with sugar AND with grains. For anyone interested in more research on this food / alcohol / mood connection you might find The Diet Cure by Julia Ross interesting. She also wrote a book called the Mood Cure which I haven't read yet but the way I feel this morning I want to read it. I have a food hangover I think. Yuk. Sugar and grains just don't work for me.

Anyway...hello Sausage! Have an awesome swim.

I too need to finish catching up on yesterdays great posts but felt the desire to check in! We have a Chamber networking event tonight and it's at the Forest Preserve building near where we live. We spend time in the preserve but I've never been inside the Visitor Center so I really want to go. Good for business of course too. I'm not overly worried about the AL that will be there since for this event, I won't be "stuck" there in a hostess type capacity. But will have my guard up none the less. I think I will catch the 4PM AA meeting. Haven't been to that one yet so want to check out that group. It will work well to then just go straight to the event with my armour fully on and polished up LOL!

Have an awesome sober day everyone!

PS - today is my TWO YEAR anniversary of quitting smoking.

Your Quit Date is: Monday, February 26, 2007 at 3:00:00 PM
Time Smoke-Free: 730 days, 13 hours, 47 minutes and 35 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 29223
Lifetime Saved: 7 months, 13 days, 5 hours
Money Saved: $5,701.80

Where the sam hill did all the money go???? Oh wait. I have a cleaning lady who I love and adore. Today is her day to clean - how ironic!!! I must give her a big hug and extra tip today! :l

DG

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Oops - Hi Mary! Sounds like a very big day for you! It will all be good I think. I love the feeling of being surrounded by sobriety. And like you have mentioned recently - being the "junior" person - the student rather than the teacher, etc. I hope you end up feeling like a huge weight is off your shoulders. I will keep checking the other thread for more details on your "homework" which I am finding very interesting - I hope you keep posting it!

DG

[Janice]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hi everyone, not been around MWO much these last two weeks. Day 40 today I think and for some reason, I'm actually finding it easier to stay away if that makes any sense? I'm spending a lot of time researching my family tree and its so good not focusing on the drinking issue.

love Janicexxx

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

DG, I would agree that exercise and healthy eating are important tools. Can't tell you how many times I've cracked open bag of chips, or a jug of ice cream, and said to myself "what the hell, I'll do better tomorrow.." Sound familiar? Same thing I would say when I was drinking......

For me, it all comes down to being in the right frame of mind. Right now I am immersed in my training, am eating really well, and feel really good about myself physically. That feeling carries over to other parts of my life as well - I am more productive, have a better attitude, etc. Conversely, I know that when I eat badly, or skip a workout I have a habit of getting down on myself and that also carries over into other parts of my life.

So, finding a balance is an ongoing challenge for me. I can't get so high or so low that any setback or bad day derails my overall program. I have to always remember "progress, not perfection!"

Have a great Thursday everyone!

[Marshy]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hello everyone,

DG - I have just two words to say to you: sugar!! wheat!!! shocking!! OK, three words.

:b&d:

Sausage - I've had my swim already today - and I agree about it being therapeutic, especially backstroke for me because my ears are submerged so I'm not distracted by noise. Can only do that if there's enough space though.

Mary - I've got my first AA meeting tonight too! I called them and someone is taking me there. I do feel a bit like it's my first day at school and I need help finding the right classroom when I ought to be able to do it by myself, but hey ho!

Janice, I was just thinking this morning that it's high time for me to stop focusing on my drinking problem and move on! Social life and dating spring to mind as two areas I want to focus on. I joined a cycling group a couple of years ago and never went on a single ride - mainly because the rides are at the weekend and I was always hungover! But I'm going to rejoin that and actually take part this time! And I have a few other plans to get working on.

Have a great day all!

[madisonmay]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hi
I came back here yesterday, after a time away. I had a terrible bust up with my son of 35 last September, which was so nasty I even thought of never contacting him again. Things he said to me made me feel worthless, I already have self asteem issues, thinking I am not a good enough mother/wife/friend/sister/daughter etc, and after the argument with him, not an argument verbally, but an A4 sheet of an email that was so nasty friends who read it burst into tears, I just felt truly devastated, made even worse because I did not know where he was coming from. It took weeks and weeks for me to come to terms with this, and of course, I tried to block out the pain with Al big time. But you know what, I decided I didn't deserve to be treated in this way, I deserved to be loved and respected, and I deserve the love other close family and my husband give me. This is my sons problem not mine. We cannot figure out why he did this, nothing has ever happened like this before, and can only put it down to pressure of work and family, but it still no excuse to speak to your own mother in this way. I have had to make the effort to mend bridges by being the grown up because we have a granddaughter, so me and my son have a relationship again, but it will never ever be the same. I decided keeping in contact with Al would destroy me if I didn't make the effort now once and for all. Which is why I am back amongst you lovely people, and look to getting to know you all again. This is day 2 for me, wish me luck for the next 28 days.

Love
Madi:l

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hi Madi and welcome back. I'm sorry to hear about the difficult situation with your son. As you have already figures, AL does NOT help anything. Typically AL makes things worse. Congratulations on Day 2. I would imagine that a clear head will help in all areas, but especially with the family difficulties right now.

Marshy turns my own :b&d: on me!!! :lol: Good for you Marshy going back to the bike club to ENGAGE this time. I think with spring around the corner for so many of us it's a great time to think about getting OUT THERE in our new, sober world and participating. I still haven't found my outdoor activity (for fun) niche yet. But I'm sure if I stay "open" it will come to me.

Janice I think there is a natural ebb and flow to things including our need / desire to participate here. I know there are times when I feel good about (or feel need for) a high participation level of giving and/or recieving support. Other times not so much, and more of the focus is just on life. I think that's normal. I'm glad to hear you are enjoying yourself! Congratulations on 40 days - boy your sober time is really adding up!

AA - yes - the old "tomorrow" routine. It doesn't work any better for diet or exercise than it does for booze LOL.

Speaking of exercise, I'm off to Curves as soon as my oh so fabulous cleaning lady gets here!

DG

[retteacher]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Marshy: Let's keep checking in w/each other. It is such a huge weight off my shoulders to have someone guiding me (instead of the other way around). My spons is calm & seems non-shockable. I like that. My meeting is a big one, & I can just sit & listen wo/feeling pressured to say anything. Mary

[AAthlete]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hey Mary - don't worry about the pressure to say something! Some people are natural speakers and some have to work hard at it (like me - I am a much better writer)! I try to share at each meeting I attend not because I necessarily want to, but because what I say may help someone else out. So, don't feel too much pressure, okay?

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Morning!

I went to a LifeRing Meeting last night at 7pm. It was pretty good. There were 9 men and 3 of us women. It was kind of like AA without the religious aspect, working the steps, or the war stories. There seemed to be a lot of long pauses of silence. (at least from what I noticed).

The theme at these meetings was "How was your week?" They practice living in the present. They are also into planning to have a successful recovery.

I didn't say too much. I could relate to some who have an addiction to alcohol. Man, could I relate! There was one young girl there who really wanted to 'use' yesterday. I guess she had picked up her cheque from Income assistance and had it in her pocket. I think that everyone encouraged her to not use. It was quite sad really. I felt like hugging her and telling her that she deserved to be clean and happy.

I went for coffee with one of the older guys. He is an alcoholic and he and I chatted for over an hour. I can relate to why he started to drink, how sick he got by drinking, and his new out look on life. He has been sober for 8 years now. He is taking me to a local AA meeting tonight at 8:30pm. I figure 'why not?'.

So, it was good. The meeting completely reinforces why I cannot drink anymore! I really enjoyed it.

I have my weekly counseling session today at 11:30am. It is funny. The morning of my sessions I feel like I have nothing to say. When I get there; I can't shut up! LOL

Well, I haven't been able to read any of the posts here as I am running behind the 8 ball. I will check in later.

[Mohun]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

Hi. Just a quick check in. I'll come back later.

Also, today's puppy pic. Just so you know, he's not always good.

[speedster]

AF Daily Thursday 26 February

AA ? I whole-heartedly relate to the ?tomorrow I?ll do better? and those swings of beating myself up for not exercising etc. I?m working hard on being steady and no extremes.

DG ? Are you still reading Drinking A Love Story? I finished and really learned a lot. I only relate to her early relationship with AL and can see how I could have followed down a worse path. I believe I?m catching bad habits early and that?s a little tricky. I can hear myself saying ?well I never did anything that bad? so I must not have a problem. Trickery, nothing but trickery!

Anyway the book makes me very concerned for my brother. We?re 600 miles apart, he has no family nearby and lives alone. I now am more convinced he?s alone because his relationship with AL would have to change if he had a partner. He used to work evening shift which helped keep him out of bars but recently changed schedules and he?s now off on Thur/Fri. I think that allows him to drink more. His answering machine no longer works and he hasn?t called in weeks. So I?m concerned. He?s very fit ? goes to the gym and rides a lot, but that?s part of hiding the real problem. Anyway, not sure what I can do for him.

After reading the book, I have a different perspective about myself, my brother, our parents, etc. I?m now reading her book on her fight with anorexia, ?Appetites?. Not something I can relate to, but do obsess over being at a perfect weight. I enjoyed her other books and thought this book might have something insightful about women and their relationship with food.

This reads dismal, but I?m really upbeat, although fighting a cold. I?m still having a productive week and feel happy even with a cold and concerns for my brother.

Have a great day! Thanks for being here.

OH Mohun! Puppy pics make my day! I so love my dog and puppies are 100% goodness.