AF Daily - March 11, 2009

[Joanna]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Habits: Making and Breaking

Mohun. Thanks for the sleep article. Waking up during that second disturbed period; that was me every single night to a T. Helps to reinforce the determination to stay sober.

WIP, Tom. the other thing I am learning is how important 'habits' are. Someone on another thread talked about how the brain loves to follow its deeply rutted pathway when choosing how to behave. I've started to notice how I can break habits and make new ones. It really is possible to do and I never really realised before. Having ditched my biggest habit, some of the others are not such a struggle.

For me, simple things like clearing away the breakfast things or making the beds. I hate doing those things in the morning! But the more I do them, almost forcing myself at the beginning, the easier they get!

On the breaking habits side, another one I struggled with was speaking to my best friend on the phone in the evening. Sound a weird one but I had a compulsion to do it and felt strung out if i didn't. Bad habit because we carry out these conversations while necking back the wine in large quantities. I wanted to stop these phone calls because they were obviously not helpful in my early sobriety. I struggled at the beginning but all of a sudden the habit is broken and it's easy! The brain has backed off!

[retteacher]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Joanna: We talked a bit about the whole telephone/drinking link in the AA thread. It's interesting. I didn't do it every night but often enough. I too have many habits to break. It's not easy, but w/enough repetitions of a new (& better) habit, the new habit takes hold.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Mary, Cindi, it's also important to remember that old unwanted habits (or compulsive behaviors) can be weakened, and supplanted by new habits, but never truly eliminated or completely "broken." We can learn new ways to do things, but the old ways are still lurking in our brain pathways, in our minds, and will re-emerge vigorously, if given the opportunity to do so... Hence: vigilance. Always.

As Wm Faulkner grimly commented, in a different context: "The past is never forgotten... it's never even past... "

[Lila]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

hey wip
do you think that applies to depression as well? is getting depressed in the winter a habit? if 'untreated' does it get worse?
Every year this happens - now that winter is ending I am realizing how low I sank and I am afraid of next winter. I do have a lightbox -don't use it consisitently, and it does irritate my eyes and brain, although it helps a bit.
Lila

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Lila, I don't think the depression itself could be called a habit... but the thinking patterns that contribute to it definitely are habitual, as are some of our emotion regulation strategies. The Mindfulness-Based Relapse Prevention (MBRP) program works to address those habitual thought patterns to prevent or minimize relapses... I wrote about this recently in the 90-Day Challenge Meditation thread, if you are interested. Also, that program exists in a self-help form, in an excellent book called "The Mindful Way Through Depression." Some people here on MWO have used the book and found it helpful.

[Lila]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

i'll check that out - I am going to the library later - thanks!

[Joanna]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Lila

I think winter depression is more multi faceted and complex than that although there is opinion that many people can learn to almost find depression paradoxically a source of comfort; they can welcome it. Am not suggesting of course that this is your experience although i suspect it could have been mine.

I think depression can feed on itself. I certainly find that the less I do the less I want to do. So I suppose there are habitual elements; I'm thinking out loud......

I'm not sure how easy it would be to unlearn or break though......

[Lila]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Yes, I think there are good things about staying in your house, being reflective, nesting, all that - I do like the cycle - up to a point, then it gets paralyzing. How do you manage yours, Joanna, if you don't mind me asking?

[madisonmay]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Just wanted to jump in and say hi to everyone, hope you are all doing ok. I have now reached 14 days af, the past couple of days have been a bit of a struggle, the little pangs of cravings are trying to muscle into my mind, but have managed to resist by making myself busy. As they say, one day at a time.

Madi:l

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Hi everyone! Wow - what an interesting thread we have going today.

First off - back to yesterday! Narilly just from your general posting tone I was not suprised to read that you are an "action girl." I bet you have some fun stuff lined up to do in Mexico??

Mame it's so interesting to contemplate "enjoyment" v. "constant challenge" not only in terms of exercise, but in terms of life. Something about the way you wrote that made me think that my childhood was "constant challenge" (was a child athlete) and then I somehow couldn't find the off switch to "enjoyment mode to the extreme" (alcohol driven) once I broke away from the family nest. Hmmm...... Hey I LOVE your "out" plan for dinner tonight if you need it. Sounds like that plan could also be adapted if you decide to go, but want an "out" to leave early if you need to. YEAH!!! Oh what a sweet boy Wookie is. WE NEED UPDATED PICS!!!

AFM the double decker bus with DD sounds fun! I love riding on top of double decker buses. I wish I was there with you!

Kirova - hope you find a little fun today!

Speedster / LVT - Those saliva tests started me on a trail to something that worked for me. No more stabby hormone swinging! LVT - we definitely need pics of the calves!

Cindi - LOL on the up early for work, but posting here thing. Done that!!!

Charlie and Lila, I'm having a rough time with the time change too. Feels like the old days of traveling for business where even trips to the east coast and a 1 hour difference really threw me off. I'm still waking up an hour later. Good news is that I was getting up SO early I still have time to get where I need to be. But I'm missing my "me" time so I might set the alarm too until I get adjusted.

Mary, NO MORE CALLING YOURSELF OLD!!!! :b&d::sofa:

Tom that was an awesome post. Now I'm even more intrigued about the Emotional Alchemy book which should be coming up soon for me at the library. WIP, Joanna and others who posted in response to Tom, I appreciate all your insights. VERY interesting.

Mo that article on sleep / alcohol is very interesting.

Today is moving along at a relaxed pace. No business meetings today which is sort of a nice break (although business is slow so that's nerve racking). Went to AA and then to Curves this morning which seemed to put my brain and body in a good, non-stabby place for the day. (still lovin' that stabby thing!) I have some accounting work to catch up on and I will be able to do that this afternoon at a relaxed pace without a deadline looming and stressing me out. THAT is a nice change of pace!

I am still reading Drinking, A Love Story. That story just takes my breath away with the amount of it that hits so close to home. I'm getting towards the end - she just entered the rehab facility when I put it down last night. It's just one more "tool" that shows how NOT alone we really are when it comes to the effects of alcohol on our bodies and lives.

Have a wonderful sober day everyone! I'm so glad that we share this thread every day. You guys are important to my sobriety, and I appreciate you all being here for me.

ETA: Hi Madi and congrats on Day 14. Keep hangin' in there! It will get easier.

DG

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Good LATE morning!

Well, I slept in until 9:45am. My nana attended to her this morning for me. I could have slept all day. I am feeling good though. The sun is shining and it is WARM outside. A perfect day to go and do some sight seeing. We live in such a beautiful city... I never get bored of it.

I am thinking that the time change probably isn't the problem. I am sure it is contributing to my not getting to bed early enough.... but I believe the culprit is LACK of exercise. It has been so yicky outside the last couple of weeks. I don't think that I am burning enough energy. Gotta do something about that!

Well, must run and get motivated. Our tour starts at 1pm today. This is going to be so much fun!

Have a great day!

[ThatGirl]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Evening all, just read through the thread, very interesting points being made about preceived roles in life, I may give the book suggested a read.

This is day three sober for me, usually the one I give up on - it's never a good day for me unfortunately. But I'm not going to give in this time, no sir-ee.

To anybody who's looking for a good read I totally recommend Scar Tissue - anthony kiedis' autobiography. Even if you're not into his band (the red hot chili peppers) it is absolutely brilliant!

Anyway, have a nice day everybody

-TG

[Miss Behaving]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

I've been really interested in what people have been saying about the start of daylight saving!

At the opposite end of the world, last year we had a law change which saw daylight saving extended by 6 weeks (largely as an energy conservation measure). Lots of people really struggled with it, including me. I'm an early bird normally, and like to wake with the light, but for the last couple of weeks I've been sleeping way later than I usually do and feeling really super tired when I wake, even though I've slept enough hours.

Anyway, this is just to say that I dont think we should underestimate the physiological impact of these things ..... we get used to them, but at the margins they are not easy to adjust to! I'm predicting that come 4 April, which is when daylight savings stops here, I'll come right again. Will let you know!

ThatGirl - time you got over your Day 3 psychological hump!

[Marshy]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Hi all!

Hmm. Not sure what my role was, but it definitely became "miserable drunk" at the end. Now, it's in a state of flux.

Wip - I've ordered that book (some more commission for you )

DG - damn! I'd conveniently "forgotten" that I was struggling through 'Drinking.....'. I like it but find it so uncomfortable that I can only read a chapter at a time, then have to leave it for a while. I'll have to dig it out again.

[A Work in Progress]

AF Daily - March 11, 2009

Marshy;569317 wrote:
Hmm. Not sure what my role was, but it definitely became "miserable drunk" at the end. Now, it's in a state of flux.

Wip - I've ordered that book (some more commission for you )

:H:H:H

Well yeah, me too...

And: thanks, Marshy! Retirement prospects are getting more positive!