AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

[narilly]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

I agree AA, it is about changing your whole outlook on life.
For me, it is just taking a little time to actually believe that the drinking part of my life is over. No matter how much I want never to drink again- my mind still goes there. I guess it is the nature of the disease- and accepting the fact that I have a problem.

Anyway- I am sober and haven't drank for almost 2 months. This is GREAT!

Narilly

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

Good morning... well, late morning here.

I had some errands to run first thing and now I am home. This head cold SUCKS poo!

BUT it is a beautiful, warm day here, and all is good in AFM's world.

Have a great day everyone.

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

Happy Tuesday ABland!!!!!

Cindi, at least you broke your arm doing something cool and health with your family!! (theres always a silver lining)

speedster, the gunshow was frantic! people are panic-buying because it appears this administration lied about it's intentions regarding the 2nd ammendment (don't get me started....ggggggggrrrrrr!!!!)

Hula I'd say "minimalist cuisine" is an oxymoron in my books. If I'm going to pay a ton for food then at least they could provide a fair portion. I do tend to cook with some of the Pacific-Rim-Fusion but my proportions are quite ample.

AAth, not quite sure what you meant about this part:

but why do so many posts talk about "X" or "Y" or "Z" not being an option?

well I'm packing the car for an 8 hour drive to Vegas tomorrow, cool thins is I'll get to see my brother Morrison.

be well everyone!

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

So hey, what happened to satori? Satooorrriiiiii....... we are waiting on that purple unitard!

[ThatGirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

30 days today everybody

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

Awesome TG!!!!

[AAthlete]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

Determinator;588250 wrote:
AAth, not quite sure what you meant about this part:

but why do so many posts talk about "X" or "Y" or "Z" not being an option?

Det, simply meant that it is difficult to see people rule out options when they are struggling so badly. People say that medication, or meditation, or therapy, or detox, or AA isn't for them, and then wonder why the program isn't working.

Not singling anyone out and like I said - I used to be there too. Sometimes just wish there was more that I could do to help. Course, how many people used to say the same thing about me. Also need to remember how many people have had success here as well and/or are working hard towards success.

[dill]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

That's great, TG! Well done!

(don't get me started....ggggggggrrrrrr!!!!)

Deter, my hb is into shooting and has commented on the frantic nature of the gun shows. He checks at Walmart sporting goods dept. whenever we are there shopping to see if they have ammo and they have been out of stock for the last several times. We even checked at the walmart we were at in Florida and they were out, too! He doesn't need to buy it. He is just kind of amazed by it. The sales person was commenting that it had to do with folks being fearful of what this new administration will do.

AA, I understand your frustration. No avenue of help in getting sober should be counted out! I think though that fear might be at play here. I can only speak for me, but, I fear going to AA meetings because I've never been to one (fear of the unknown) and I don't want to be seen going to one (fear of loss of anonymity) as it would not be good given what I do for a living. I regret that those fears might be preventing me from an avenue of support, and I have to work harder to find support elsewhere.

DG, I hope your court appearance went well.

Cindi, I am sorry to hear about your broken arm. I hope you heal quickly.

narilly, coming up on two months! Fantastic!

rudemamma, 5 days is great! That means you got past that horrible 4 day mark!

Hi Sausage, Greenie, AFM, sante, guitarista, speedster and Marshy! Hope I haven't missed anyone.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

AAth: I agree w/you about limiting oneself to a certain kind of recovery. For instance, I've seen many, many people trash AA; however, they don't really know anything about it or have only tried it on a limited basis. I am willing to put up w/anything at all to get better. Perhaps the last horrendous drunk I had was so devastating that I'm willing to try anything. Maybe that's what "hitting bottom" is all about. Until now, I haven't been willing to push the envelope & try things either. I wanted to keep my drinking the deep, dark secret that it was. Through the gift of a public humiliation, I now have nothing to lose. Yes, I still get nervous about going into meetings. I still haven't told EVERYONE in my life that I'm an alcoholic. But, all the key people (& then some) know what I'm doing & that I've stopped drinking. I feel honest (w/myself & others) for the first time in a long, long time.

I had my first drinking thought today for the first time in about 2 weeks. I think that going to meetings & logging on to MWO has helped tremendously w/them. I believe that I had the thought, because I've just put in 2 full, grueling days babysitting my g-sons. Child-rearing is definitely for the young, but this was something I had to do, so I did it. That said: the kind of fatigue that I'm experiencing now is just what I would have had a night of drinking over. Instead, I'll go to an AA meeting tonight, & any & all urges will fly away...I just know it.

I'm glad to see that everyone is doing well.

Mary

PS: TG, congratulations on the 30 day mark. That's quite an accomplishment.

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

Dill: I'm truly nervous every single time I go into an AA meeting. Sometimes, as I approach the door, I want to turn around & go back to my car. I force myself to go though, because I know that avoidance of fear doesn't work for me. I've done that way too much...especially w/AL. Every time I overcome my fear & go to a meeting (which are always so inspirational), I feel as if I've made a breakthrough.

I too am very, very nervous about seeing someone I know from the "outside" at a meeting. Worse, I'd hate to think that it would get out that I'm an alcoholic. However, the benefits are so great, I just try to talk to myself about it. What if someone I know breaks my anonymity in my very small community? It's not the end of the world. People would find out that I'm an alcoholic. I'm not an ax-murderer...I'm an alcoholic. So, I'm trying very hard to put my fears aside.

BTW, I did see someone I knew from Alanon at an AA meeting. She had a series of love relationships w/alcoholics. Subsequently, she "discovered" that she too had a drinking problem. I did feel a little wierd seeing her, but I got over it, & by the end of the meeting, I had taken her phone number.

I'm a retired teacher & many of the AAers are young guys my students' ages. I fully expect to see one of them at a meeting. How embarrassing would that be! However, all I can do is trust that the 12th Tradition (Anonymity is the basis of the program...something like that).

Mary

PS: I know I must sound like some sort of AA fanatic.

[dill]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

Mary, you do not sound at all fanatical! I appreciate all you have shared about your AA experiences. I have read almost the entire AA thread.

I don't so much worry about seeing someone inside a meeting. I worry about passer-bys who are not members and might render judgement. I work in the schools currently. Will be able to retire in 2012!

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 7, 2009

AAth, understood and I fully share your frustration at seeing the excuses/rationale coming up. it's easy for us to resist change and I've been guilty of that as well especially in my early recovery days. Eventually though I encountered what Mary and others did, in that I was so screwed up that I finally ditched my stupid ego and started to really GET SOBER DAMMIT!!! whatever it takes.