AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

LVT: I too notice that people come & go. I'm accepting the fact that everyone has his/her own timetable regarding drinking cessation. I try to speak from my own experience & hope that someone is reached in some small way. I'm the first person to admit my weaknesses regarding AL. However, in spite of all the stumbling I've done, I have never given up on becoming abs. That's my goal. Yes, sometimes people can seem closed-minded, but I really feel that's a measure of the grip that AL has on us. I wanted to protect my drinking for the longest time...even after it stopped serving me in any way. Even the lying & sbuterfuge seemed exciting when I started to think about it. It's crazy.

Mary

[Determinator]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Happy Wed ABadabadooooos!

just a quickie here for garlic breath. gotta 8 hour drive ahead of me and it's snowing. crap! not to worry I'm not in a rush.

be well my friends! xxxxxx

[Barola]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Well I'll chime in. As a newbie with 22 days, I really count on, and find inspiration in the posts that many of you who have taken this journey before me write. I don't post much because at this point I am not sure I have much valuable advice to give. You 'guys' do, and are kind enough to share your thoughts. So thanks, and please don't stop - you help us new kids more than you know!!

[Cinders]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

In the end, as we all know, it is a personal decision that is difficult, hard work, painful at first but incredibly rewarding. During my first year AF I drew motivation and inspiration from those a little further down the AF road. Let's continue this discussion. AA, Satori, DG, Chief & others who have been down this road a bit.

July, thank you for dropping in. It is always good to hear from you.

I want to add something about the timetable of us quitting. Please do not ever forget that the statistics for those of us who do not quit in time are quite grim. 40% of alcoholics die as a direct result of the drinking. We are here in a fight for our lives.

I heartily believe that this website, AA, SMART, etc, where we can share our struggles and our triumphs is helpful to all.

I am incredibly grateful for MWO and AA.

Love,
Cindi

ps Whew, it really is hard to type with one hand!!!

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Barola: As a newcomer, you have plenty to share. Any small experience you have can effect someone reading. It doesn't have to be "words of wisdom." I have had tons of ups & downs & still have come here & shared. We're all equals regardless of amount of time sober. 22 days is fantastic! That's something to celebrate.

Just a quick observation about something that happened yesterday: I was in the supermarket in the early AM. The guy in back of me was buying 2 quart bottles of beer (I didn't even know they sold them in that size). I could feel how nervous he was about it. I'm pretty sure he was going home to drink them right away. I've been there & done that (not w/beer). It's an awful feeling, but he's on his own timetable regarding recovery (if it even happens for him). I recount this incident, because it gives all of us some insight into the misery that AL can cause. It's all around us if we open our eyes to it.

Mary

[narilly]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Hi guys,
I think MM had a really good point- actually 'remembering' conversations, laughs, jokes- what a concept. I would hardly remember the conversations that went on when I was drinking. There were some highlights I could remember but that was about it. What a waste of time/life.

Another GREAT reason not to drink!

I am not hungover today- everyday I give thanks for that. Barola- I am sure you have some interesting thoughts you could share with us. Keep coming back.
Mary- soon your last drunk will be a distant memory- it is just going to take some time- like you said, it probably had to happen for you to actually quit. Same with me on my last bender where I fell down the stairs in front of a bunch of kids. I can't wait until it becomes a faded memory!

Narilly

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Cindi: You don't have to answer this, but I was typing while you were. Goodness, gracious, I'm sorry about your arm. G-kids! That's what can happen when we try to keep up. I just got off a big 2 day b-sitting stint. I feel like a zombie today. I'm sure I'll be better tomorrow, but today I'm taking it easy. Kids are meant to be raised by younger people. Mary

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Narilly: I don't want to forget the last drunk completely. It's what got the whole thing out in the open. Denial is so strong that I need to realize & remember that normal drinkers do not get carted off to the hosp unconscious. I'm so glad you're doing so well. It's lovely to read your posts. Mary

[peacenik]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

morning to all...

social drinking is not something i needed to do, but i certainly did it!

well, i went to a wedding this weekend and ended up having 2 beers and a glass of champagne over the course of 7 hours...never got drunk but really, why did i even have it? no reason other than i got caught up in the fun and felt i could control it (which i did, but i really could have been af easily). so it is a minor issue, but one nonetheless. my daughter was there and saw me with the beer...she said "i thought you weren't drinking anymore" and i lied to her and said it was non-alcoholic...yuck. that is the worst part, lying to her. it wasn't even "worth it".
i thought i would never drink again...i can never drink again, and i will never drink again.
i guess i was testing myself, but the real test is not drinking at all, right.

ugh...live and learn.

peace

[Sheepish]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

DG,
I agree whole heartedly with your idea that posting here is a way to continue to help folks out there- even though it is not going out to the boards and addressing people individually. I come and read this thread at the beginning and end of every day. You guys are true beacons of honesty and determination here-
thank you all- (I would name you individually but don't want to leave anyone out)
your friend the serial lurker
-Sheep

[Chief]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Hi Fellow Abbers!

Thought I'd check in with you folks.....I'm almost 20 months AF and don't post as much as I use to. My first year I posted alot, everyday, because I felt it was something I could do to help others and at the same time keep myself in the game. But after a while, you do tend to get "burned out" trying to help everyone. And I, like a few others, have been attacked by members for being "too tough" on newbies. This site has grown so much just in the past 2 years, it's impossible to read and respond to every post. So I tend to give my advice or comments only when I feel I can help. I can't convince someone to want to quit drinking.....they must have to want it....and want it bad. I feel there are alot of folks here who are just getting started on addressing their drinking.....maybe not totally convinced they have a "real" problem. For them, I hope they can find the courage and strength to keep moving forward, until they reach the point of wanting to do "whatever it takes" to stop the insanity of their drinking.

I still log on to MWO everyday....I might not post, but I read. I still feel like I need MWO. I've been going through some family health issues for the past year, and The Beast is, as we speak, putting drinking thoughts into my head and has been for a few days now, but I came on here and told some close friends and they immediately jumped in with love and support. That's what I love about this place......

I think it's important to find out what works for you. I've been AF for almost 20 months, but that doesn't mean I'm cured. I have learned to think about my thinking and to react when I don't like the way I've been thinking. For example, today I started taking the L-glut, Kudzu, and the supps I took when I first quit drinking. And I've been fasinated with the AA thread that DG and Mary have been posting on. I'm thinking about going to a meeting but not sure how someone who has been AF for this long will be received......but my point is, even after 20 months, there are strong triggers to drink, and we have to be aware of our thinking at all times.

I don't ever want to blow this......it's too important.

Hope everyone has a good day! Stay busy and stay focused...

Don

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Don: You'd be such an asset to AA. You'd be received w/open arms. AA is more than just about stopping the drinking. It gives us a way to live wo/AL...a way to get through life's ups & downs. DG & I are thinking about a weekly AA thread, because the one we post on now is getting very long & involved. Look for it & contribute all you want. BTW, the AAers are surprisingly tolerant of people using AA as a "revolving door" as they put it. Everyone has their own timing about getting abs. Watch out for that drinking thinking. The last meeting I went to was all about relapses after significant periods of time abs (8 - 10 years). Accumulated abstinent time is no guarantee of permanent sobriety or cessation of those pesky thoughts & urges.

Good luck. Mary

[Accountable for Me]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

For the members who are shy about posting on the abs thread:

I don't post a lot anymore either. I do post in this thread as it is an inspiration to me.

I, myself, was welcoming each new member and I started to 'burn myself out'. For the first year and a half, I tried to encourage others to follow this/their program.

When I came here, I was a mess. My life was going to Hell in a handbasket - fast. I had young children and was desperate to get this monkey off of my back. The ride hasn't been an easy one. I still test the waters every few months.... and this is something I am still addressing. It isn't a perfect ABs life but I am getting there!

Coming from a daily die-hard drinker, my life has done a complete turn around. Everyone I know, including myself, thought that this disease was going to take my life. Well thanks to this site, counseling, some meetings, and, medication; I haven't been this healthy physically, and emotionally, in almost a decade. I am willing to do whatever it takes to live my life, sober. It is so important to me and my children that I fight for this.

And to be perfectly honest with you all, the fight does subside after a few weeks. The urges will be there and they will pop up every once in a while; you just have to be prepared for it. Even if it comes out of left field and you can't shake it, you have this place to fall back on for support. Talk it out as you are riding it out.

Even thought I don't post much, I still in my heart, wish everyone a happy and healthy recovery. Stick with this program, along with anything else you may be doing to reach your goals. Post a lot, make 'friends' here to give you support, and vice versa.

This doesn't have to be a lonely and shameful battle. Everyone here knows what it is like to have this affliction. Everyone knows how lonely alcoholism is. I can't stress enough how important it is to share, share, share. Feelings, triggers, successes, slips, etc....

If your goal is ABs, I encourage all members (new & old) to join in with us, and share your experiences here. Even if you slip up, come here and tell us about it. Someone else may learn something from it. You will also receive the support you need.

Many of us here in the Ab's thread have had our fair share of ups and downs! Not many have managed to be AF the first time around. This isn't an easy thing to stop.

So, don't be shy and post away! We would love to hear from you.

[ready2change]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

Happy Hump Day

Good morning all. I wanted to post of my experience yesterday. Last week a woman I used to work with called me and asked if I would like to meet her for dinner some night this week after work. I looked forward to seeing her and we agreed on last nite.

She wanted to meet at a local restaurant convenient to both of us. She choose the restaurant and right away I thought "uh oh" that is where I have always drank with my dinner. How will I handle this? She even mentioned having a cocktail. I was determined not to drink last nite so when it came time to order our drinks, I asked her if she was having a cocktail, to which she replied, "No, I have to drive home". Now that is what a NORMAL drinker says and how they act responsibly. I feel certain that she is an occasional drinker, sans any problems.

And guess what? We had an incredible time.

I don't post much here anymore, because I am not free from the grips of alcohol. So I tend to post when I have something reflective or encouraging to say, as much for myself as for anyone who may gain anything from it.

Might I also add, for those of you who don't know, I am also married to an alcholic. I don't even know what to say or how to put this so it comes across properly, but he scares the hell out of me. Two times this month I have awoke in the middle of the night to find him dazed and bloodied. This last time I believe he stepped outside for a cigarette and fell and possibly passed out. I am scared to death for him and I don't know what to do. I try to live by the AA mantra "relate, don't compare". I don't know what to do, as I fight my own battle with alcohol and watch his, completely helpless. I needed to get this off my chest.

R2C

[rudemama]

AF Daily - Wednesday April 8, 2009

hi all here again want to keep coming day 6 today feeling good trying to get work done. i so suck at drinking i am so much better af i try to look back at the moments i decided to have a drink after long af stints they don't make much sense though the result is the same 6 weeks down the road or less the drinking is sucky again. so heres to af for today clear head love you all rudemama