The Weekly AA Thread - April 13 - 19, 2009
Hi all! Boy I'm really behind on reading / posting on my key threads - this one and AF Daily. I also like Abbercizers, and I actually HAVE been abbercizin' but no time to post it seems. I spent most of the day yesterday in my new garden, and have more in front of me today while the weather is unseasonably warm! LOL - I'm looking forward to a few rainy days so I can rest.
This will be the first day since I started going that I probably WON'T make an AA meeting. It just isn't working in my schedule today. I'm a bit sad that I can't go to the 7AM meeting on Fridays as I have another business commitment at 7 AM every week. I really am growing to like that group of people. Funny how a "home group" just sort of comes together with time. A group you feel really comfortable with.
The meetings all week long have been awesome. I am learning so much about myself and what makes me tick - both the good and the not so good. One thing is for sure - I LOVE how I feel when I am at peace instead of all worked up. So I am willing to put some effort into working the steps and learning how to stay peaceful in addition to not drinking!
I've been dealing with a particular issue lately that had me feeling torn. If I do what this person wants me to do, I feel resentful about it - like "how DARE you ask me to do that for you, but here I am doing it anyway - BOY am I MAD!!!" If I DON'T do what this person wants me to do, I feel guilty about it like "I should be a nice person and help this other person even though I don't feel like it..."
I fully realize that there are many times in life where it IS the right thing to do - doing something you don't feel like doing. But in this situation my sponsor has recommended I not do it. So I avoid being resentful but I still feel guilty.
A woman at one of the meetings this week shared something that her sponsor shared with her when she was newly sober. (lots and lots of years ago) The context of her sharing had to do with her grown children, where she often feels tugged and pulled. Her sponsor said "when given a choice between guilt and resentment, I choose guilt. I won't drink over guilt, but I might drink over resentment."
I just thought that was interesting. It certainly was helpful to me in at least feeling like I made the right decision, because I HAVE to keep my sobriety as my #1 priority.
Anyway, that was a long ramble to get to the point...not sure if it is even helpful LOL!
Good to see you back Sea. R2C, I think Step 4 could be completely overwhelming or even frightening without someone working as a guide. I think it's also easy to get off track. The point is to identify where we have done wrong and it's VERY easy to get caught up in what we think others have done wrong to us. I did that straight away when I first started journaling in preparation for step 4, which I haven't officially started working on yet. But I can see the traps. For me it is just very easy to concentrate on what others have done instead of MY part in things gone wrong.
Mary, you are making phenomenal personal progress. It just shines right through in your posts. I am so glad that the addition of AA to your recovery program is working so well for you!!!!!
Hello to all other AAers too!
OK - back to the garden!
DG
Hi all! Boy I'm really behind on reading / posting on my key threads - this one and AF Daily. I also like Abbercizers, and I actually HAVE been abbercizin' but no time to post it seems. I spent most of the day yesterday in my new garden, and have more in front of me today while the weather is unseasonably warm! LOL - I'm looking forward to a few rainy days so I can rest.
This will be the first day since I started going that I probably WON'T make an AA meeting. It just isn't working in my schedule today. I'm a bit sad that I can't go to the 7AM meeting on Fridays as I have another business commitment at 7 AM every week. I really am growing to like that group of people. Funny how a "home group" just sort of comes together with time. A group you feel really comfortable with.
The meetings all week long have been awesome. I am learning so much about myself and what makes me tick - both the good and the not so good. One thing is for sure - I LOVE how I feel when I am at peace instead of all worked up. So I am willing to put some effort into working the steps and learning how to stay peaceful in addition to not drinking!
I've been dealing with a particular issue lately that had me feeling torn. If I do what this person wants me to do, I feel resentful about it - like "how DARE you ask me to do that for you, but here I am doing it anyway - BOY am I MAD!!!" If I DON'T do what this person wants me to do, I feel guilty about it like "I should be a nice person and help this other person even though I don't feel like it..."
I fully realize that there are many times in life where it IS the right thing to do - doing something you don't feel like doing. But in this situation my sponsor has recommended I not do it. So I avoid being resentful but I still feel guilty.
A woman at one of the meetings this week shared something that her sponsor shared with her when she was newly sober. (lots and lots of years ago) The context of her sharing had to do with her grown children, where she often feels tugged and pulled. Her sponsor said "when given a choice between guilt and resentment, I choose guilt. I won't drink over guilt, but I might drink over resentment."
I just thought that was interesting. It certainly was helpful to me in at least feeling like I made the right decision, because I HAVE to keep my sobriety as my #1 priority.
Anyway, that was a long ramble to get to the point...not sure if it is even helpful LOL!
Good to see you back Sea. R2C, I think Step 4 could be completely overwhelming or even frightening without someone working as a guide. I think it's also easy to get off track. The point is to identify where we have done wrong and it's VERY easy to get caught up in what we think others have done wrong to us. I did that straight away when I first started journaling in preparation for step 4, which I haven't officially started working on yet. But I can see the traps. For me it is just very easy to concentrate on what others have done instead of MY part in things gone wrong.
Mary, you are making phenomenal personal progress. It just shines right through in your posts. I am so glad that the addition of AA to your recovery program is working so well for you!!!!!
Hello to all other AAers too!
OK - back to the garden!
DG
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