Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: Yesterday, I thought about gratitude. I have so many blessings in my life: family, friends, financial security, etc., but I cannot feel grateful for any of it if I'm drinking. Drinking is the dark cloud that hangs over everything good. So, first & foremost, I'm grateful that I'm sober. Without that, I can't appreciate anything that I have.

Newbies: If you come here & read, don't feel shy about sharing. It's wonderful to read about peoples' experience, strength, & hope, but sharing even your smallest victory is important. If you're having a hard time, nobody is judgemental. You'll simply get the encouragement you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, & start again.

I'll be back later.

Mary

[rustop61]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Hi everyone

I'm an oldie who would like to jump on board again if thats ok. Have had lots of AF time in the last year and I have just completed the 40 days of lent. Just before lent I posted that I planned to do it and Greenie corrected me to say I WILL DO IT. It made all the difference to my thinking so thats the kind of positive reinforcement I need around me. Now I WILL BE AF for the coming 30 days.

Rustop

[retteacher]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Rustop: It's so good to see you here. You've accomplished so much, & your presence here is valued. Thanks so much for checking in. Mary

[dill]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Good morning Mary and Rusty and all to come, Thank you Mary for the gratitude reminder! You know, it never hurts to stop and think consciously about the things we have to be grateful for. It's so easily taken for granted.

Rusty, good to see you. I've met you on the ODAT thread. You definitely belong here and will enjoy this thread!

I went back to work yesterday after a break of 11 days. I had trepidation and it was confirmed. I had so many drinking thoughts just by being back in that stressful enfironment! I somehow managed to push them away and get home where I remained AF! Whew. I'm thinking today will be easier.

Have a great day, everyone!

[greeneyes]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Good morning abbers!

Mary I followed your very helpful advice yesterday. All day......kept that thought with me and it was very helpful. Thanks X 2 as I might need it today too!

Rustop you are glowing so brightly I need shades!

Dill, I know what you mean about the enviorn! I looked at estranged one (who was being difficult) one day and said I have to go home for a bit, you are making me want to drink.

Off and running! Taking a friend out for a birthday lunch today which will be a nice bright spot in the day.

[Arial]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

HI All!

Mary, thanks for kicking it off, and for th e'gratitude' reminder - that's something I've been thinking a lot about since the weekend - deprivation v. gratitude, and gratitude needs to keep winning hands down! Why would I risk all that I have for a drink???

Rusty, great to see you here - and with the positive affirmation! It's so important to keep that 100% commitment to AF, as that horrible, slimey, sleazeball (AKA alcohol) sneaks up and worms its way in to any slight gap of doubt or indecision!

Dill, congratulations on dealing with the stresses of work AF - those triggers are so difficult to get past some times, so well done - hopefully it will get easier as you find you can handle the stresses actually far better without AL - and still enjoy the evening!

I have spent the last couple fo days recouperating and getting back on the wagon - although it was, as someone said, just one day out of about 6 weeks, it felt as if I'd been drinking for 6 weeks straight! Anyway, spent a lot of time reflecting, reading, listening to your oh so wonderful advice, thoughts, comments, support (thank you!!) and then dusted of the bike for the first time this year and cycled for 15k, and the next day ran 5k, and today have booked some time at the spa, tomorrow is my running group, so very much a 'me' time. Excercise is certainly my main salvation, particularly outside at this time of the year - here the spring came virtually overnight and everything turned from brown to all the colours of green, yellows, whites, new buds, early growth - that wonderful 'new' green that is so vibrant - definitely something I'm very grateful to be experiencing and appreciating sober!

Happy sober Wednesday all!

[Cinders]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

hi all!!

i can't waiy to be able to type two-handed again.

however, i wanted to add my thoughts about gratitude. i have been thinking about it a lot lately. i realized i have simply not been grateful for the blessings i have and let my addiction keep me from understanding how blessed i am.

i try to say my prayers today based on how grateful i am. i want to be thankful and should be.

i go back to doc today to determine if bone has stayed set. if so, i get a cast, otherwise an op for a plate. either way is fine as long as i can heal and get back the use of my arm someday.

love to all,
cindi

[peacenik]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

so true about feeling grateful...it is impossible when one is hungover or too out of it to feel anything but that...wow.

i had a rough evening yesterday with cravings and wanting to say fuck it and get a bottle of wine (or 2)...didn't do it. i had the one slip up of 3 drinks since 1/1/09 and i don't want any more, ever...i can't believe it is still this hard sometimes, but that is why vigilance is a must...and gratefullness at being sober enough to realize that (with all of your help!).

peace

[retteacher]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Peacenik: The slips were a real set-back for me. I have to avoid them at all costs, because I then get into all the stinkin' thinkin' of:
-Maybe I'm not an alcoholic.
-I can have just one.
-I have a problem, stress, aggravation, celebration, etc. to drink over.
-etc.

Been there, done that.

Mary

[Accountable for Me]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Good morning!

Does anyone else get puffy eyes in the morning from eating turkey the night before? This seems to be happening to me. No gravy or extra salt. Must be something in the birdy that does this.

I am on day 2/365. I really blew it this weekend. I didn't even try for self control. I was living in the moment with friends and family. UGH! I promised myself that I would set a goal of 1 year from my b-day and see how that works. I am a goal oriented person and am hoping if I have something to focus on I can achieve it. I am seriously tired of bouncing on and off of the AF wagon. There is NO doubt that a couple of hours of drinking is not worth the value of sobriety!

Anyway........ so far so good. I didn't buy any smokes either. I really want a healthy life, and figured yesterday was a great day to start.

So here I am. I am going to go for it!!

Cindi, I hope that arm gets better soon!

Have a great day everyone!

[Barola]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

29 days AF and grateful. It's been hard but reading the posts here, and being aware of the positive changes have really been a lifeline. My big tests are yet to come. I'm aware of the 'stinkin thinkin' now, but it seems it never really goes away, just gets sneakier.

[retteacher]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

AFM: I too bounced on & off the wagon so many times I can't begin to estimate. Each time I fell off I drank worse than the time before. No holds barred. I've heard in AA that if a relapse occurs I'd go right back to the level of drinking (or worse) I was at before I went on the wagon...as if no time intervened. I'm goal-oriented as well. I have a significant sobriety date (which I'd rather not reveal right now) & am bound & determined to keep it sacred. When I start w/the counting & declaring of sobriety dates, I tend to feel a lot of pressure. When I have a reasonable amount of sobriety behind me & no longer feel the sharp compulsion, I'll let everyone know the numbers. Until then, I'm doing well & am happy w/my progress. Thank God for MWO & AA. I could never, ever have done this alone.

Mary

[Accountable for Me]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

Thanks Mary. And you are right! The drinking after a good long period of AF is worse!!!!! For me anyway. I polished off two 1.5 litres of wine from Thursday to Sunday. ICK! But... I am not going to beat myself with a stick quite yet. I am way better off than I was when I first came here. Without a doubt. The thing that p's me off is that I didn't even have an 'excuse' to drink! I just did it.

You, keep up the good work. It sounds like AA and MWO is working for you. AA can be very valuable in many ways. It sounds like you are doing great! xoxo

[retteacher]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

I never needed excuses either. The thought would occur to me: "I think I'll get a bottle of wine." Then, I'd drink the whole thing. I'm not sure whether 2 1.5 liters would last me from Thurs. til Sun. I've actually drunk one whole bottle in one day. How? Why? I guess that's why the AAers say that alcohol is "cunning, baffling, & powerful." Mary

[narilly]

Wed. - Apr. 15 - Daily Thread

I think we all must have the 'stinkin thinkin', it is part of our problem with the all powerful alcohol. Quite often I find myself thinking "I could have just one" OR "maybe I don't really have a problem" and then I just have to stop myself and think about something else. I have to tell myself to be strong and go forward- think of other things. It is difficult, I know, cunning, baffling and powerful.
I look at all the things I have accomplished in my life by just being a strong person and using my brain- but alcohol has been the hardest to conquer. The biggest test.
We will pass this test though- just keep posting everyone!
AFM,Mary, Barola,Greenie,Arial,DG,Deter, everyone- thanks for your great posts!

NHN
(not hungover Narilly)