Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Chief, I actually had tears in my eyes when I read your post because it reminded me so much of my very 1st meeting.
It occurred to me yesterday that I will be doing the 1st 3 steps everyday for the rest of my life and that is ok because I have finally realized my way will never work.
Gyco, I love what you said about how AA teaches us how to live in sobriety. I?ve done 90 meetings and have seen evidence of how this program changes lives.
Speaking of 90 meetings?that was something my sponsor asked of me but now that I?m there, I actually want to continue. I really look forward to seeing my ?fellows? everyday

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Chief, thank you for sharing about your experience today. I always like hearing about how other meetings go. I'm glad it was a good experience for you. There is definitely something to be said for face to face support, at least for me.

I was SO against AA and firm in my belief it was NOT. FOR. ME. PERIOD. A guy in a meeting yesterday made an analogy that I had to laugh about, because for me it was totally true and obviously it must be true for many others.

If I had a bad cough, and someone suggested that maybe some Robitussin would help and I could get some at Walgreens and take a cap full of it each day until the cough was cleared up, I would probably go to Walgreens and buy a bottle. I would probably look at the box just to make sure I followed the directions (or maybe not). But I would probably NOT read every word on the box and scrutinize the fine print and refuse to take it if I was unsure of one little thing on that box.

And yet I'm an alcoholic. When the suggestion was made that maybe AA would help me, I wanted to scrutinize every last little thing I ever heard about AA and if even one thing was not to my liking, or just not to my understanding, then NO WAY was I taking any AA!!!!!!

I guess that's just another way of showing how very much we cling to our hard drinking ways. At least for me, I'm quite sure a BIG reason my mind didn't want me touching AA was because old AL in my brain thinks AA is bad for any hope of drinks in my future.

Anyway, just a theory.

I think keeping an open mind is good. I also think that recognizing AA as a large collection of people, some of whom we will like and others not so much is a good thing too. We can't expect perfection from ourselves or anyone else.

Okey, I'm with you. I decided on my own before I went with a sponsor that I was going to go for the 90 meetings in 90 days. The suggestions made in AA have withstood the test of a LOT of time (since 1935) so they can't be all bad. But I really look forward to going every day. It does not feel like a Big Chore to me. I really like the days where I can start off at 7AM with a meeting, and then move on into the day. I feel like I get off on the right foot that way.

Anyway...enough of my babble. Good going Chief!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Yay Chief! I'm so glad you got something out of that meeting. I NEVER saw myself going to AA. Yes, there is a huge cross-section of people there...I keep expecting to see some of my former students. I've been reading a lot of AA literature. There is nothing in it that says that AA is the ONLY way to recover. There is nothing in it that says you've got to accept EVERYTHING. "Take what you like & leave the rest" is one of the sayings I've heard at meetings. I too have seen the very newly sober folks...jittery & nervous. When I go to meetings, I get that we're all in this together. And yes, face to face really upped the ante for me. Anyhow, please don't hesitate to continue to share, as I will do the same.

Mary

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

DG: Your avatar photo reminds me so much of our much loved, now deceased Lulu our beagie who's up in doggie heaven eating all the biscuits & cat poop she wants. Mary

[dlw]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

I am so happy for you Don, I have been to AA meetings too, until I walked in one day and saw a close relative (she didn't see me) I left quickly- didn't want to run into here
I have been okay without the meetings, but if I do go back, I will for sure go one farther from my house

[Winefree]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Is the 90 meetings in 90 days and AA goal?
I feel I might be heading for that, since I have been to 6 meetings in 7 days which included 2 meetings in one day.
Each meeting has been different and I am learning quite a bit.

Even went over Step 6 and the defect issue tonight. It is going to take some time to absorb all of this, but I do believe it will be worth it.

Chief good for you. Keep on going! ODAT
WF

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Ah yes Mary. Beagles eating poop. I'm sure Lulu is having a grand time in Beagle Heaven as I'm sure there is plenty of gourmet poop in that place.

Winefree, my understanding of the 90 meetings in 90 days suggestion is that especially for someone first getting sober, it takes away the need to think much about it and "over think" the decision to go or not go. "just do it." There are other things people talk about in the same kind of way. Things that seem to have worked over the many years of experience with techniques being passed from sponsor to sponsee (is that a word??) and people getting sober.

For me, I feel I am developing a beneficial habit of spending at least an hour every day proactively on my sober life. Going every day has also helped me get to know some familiar faces rather quickly and I enjoy that too. Rather than viewing 90 meetings in 90 days as some sort of torture suggestion, I view it as a fast track to get me comfortable with a new place, a new thing, and lots of new people. I'm glad I'm doing it.

Daily Recovery Readings

From the daily readings I of course like the first one about loving ourselves. That one really hit home for me. Self loathing was a huge part of the last many years of my alcoholism, and that doesn't magically change just because I have stopped drinking.

I'm also finding that the Walk in Dry Places readings nearly always strike a cord for me. Todays message about gossip is a BIGGIE. Especially the part about how we more subtley engage in gossip by just listening or by "innocently asking" about a person where gossip is the true intent. It is so easy for me to cleverly (or not so cleverly) hide my true motives in things. And gossip is a big one. What a good message! I will work on improving this area for sure.

Well, gotta run but I'm wishing everyone a wonderful day! TGIF!!

DG

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Regarding people from "outside" at meetings: I just saw someone I know from outside the AA rooms at a meeting. I'm sure she had no idea that I'm an alcoholic. I'll admit to feeling a little embarrassed about it, but I am an alcoholic not a criminal & am trying to make my life better. I'm not going to let the fear of seeing someone from my outside life prevent me from going to meetings. I know it's inevitable, because we've lived in this small community for a long time.

Regarding overthinking: That's a specialty of mine. AA offers me another way to go through life. I have a sponsor (yes, sponsee is a word), who tells me what worked for him. I do what I'm told whether I like it or not. I'm usually an independent, thinking person, but my best thinking got me into a heap of trouble w/alcohol. Therefore, I'm trying something different this time...I'm trying to do what I'm told to do.

I'll check back later.

Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Mary, I love your POV that you are an alcoholic, not a criminal. While I'm sure it would cause me a momentary blip of some sort, I'm not overly concerned about running into someone I know. Heck, the "someone I know" is there too, right? I was very uncomfortable one day when I stopped at a place that happens to be one of our clients. I was there to drop off some donated clothes. They run a recovery program that is 12 step based, and there are lots of people around there who are doing court mandated AA and also community service work. I saw a woman who I recognized from some meetings. I don't know for sure but my guess is that she was there doing community service work as a volunteer. She approached me in ear shot of others asking for rides to AA meetings. THAT bothered me. BUT...it also gave me pause to examine the way I tend to OVER dramatize things. I talked with my sponsor about it this woman was reminded of the need to be VERY sensitive about anonymity outside of the club house. All is fine. I would rather have the benefits of AA while taking somewhat of a risk with anonymity than stop going. Of course that's a choice each person has to make.

It's funny how I will gloss over things when I read them first thing in the morning, but then realize a deeper meaning for me once people talk about the readings in the group setting. I had pause to think more about this part of the Daily Reflection:

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were
surrounded by people who loved us... We were trying to
find emotional security either by dominating or by being
dependent upon others . . . We still vainly tried to be
secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252

When I did my personal inventory I found that I had
unhealthy relationships with most people in my life-
my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated
and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain.
It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and
working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my
low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps taught me to become
my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love
myself, I could reach out and love others.

Years ago I dropped any facade of drinking being a "social" thing for me. I was full out into "just me and my bottle" and world - leave me the hell alone. Yes, I was surrounded by people who love me, but it was LONG DISTANCE. I kept the world at bay as much as possible so I could drink as I wanted to drink as my #1 priority. I didn't like being around most people because that usually meant trying to keep some level of control over my drinking when what I really wanted was to just drink with abandon until I passed out. I especially didn't care to be around the people who REALLY love me the most as I didn't want to risk having to hear how worried about me they were.

No wonder I'm having to do so much soul searching and figure out how to have healthy relationships!

As another side note, someone sober for 10 years mentioned that she still hasn't figured out "normies" from the stand point of anyone being able to drink only one drink. That got me thinking about step one, and also the many mentions we hear in recovery about the "just one" thoughts.

Have I EVER had "just one" drink???? I sure cannot think of a day where I have ever had just one. None maybe. Or lots. But never just one. Even as a teen I didn't drink one. Or in my 20's or 30's. Or 40's. 3 or something like that took almost super human power to control. And then that was just "at" an event and didn't say anything about what happened when I got home, or when I returned to my hotel room when traveling. That came to mind because it occured to me that Mr. Doggy often has ONLY ONE. Jeez. I didn't realize that I have likely never ever done that, not even once. So yes, Step One is my reality.

Anyway, those are my thoughts for the day!!! Now I'm going to sneak a peek at my garden and see if anything new is sprouting!

DG

[Chief]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

In my 35 year drinking career, I have never had 1 drink......never.

[Preciouspinot]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

I will be joining you now if that is OK. I am now AF.

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Welcome!!

Of course your welcome here Preciouspinot!! All are welcome. No requirments here. We just share our experiences whatever they are. Some of us here are experiencing AA for the first time and sharing our thought and experiences. So hop in with both feet! Tell us about your progress. We would love to hear from you!

R2C

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

PP: Absolutely join us.
DG: Yes, that woman did break your anonymity, but that's bound to happen. People are human & make mistakes. I know I'm risking having my anonymity broken each time I see someone from program outside in the world. Will they say something in front of someone who doesn't know I'm in AA? Maybe, but that might just be my HP wanting me to get more real. Anyhow, I'm sorry that happened to you.
One Drink: That was always my rationale for drinking. "I'll have just one to take the edge off." I cannot count the number of times I've done that. Yes, step 1 is going to have to be a daily committment for me.

Mary

PS: Don, so good to see you here.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

R2C: Great seeing you here too. Mary

[brittzak]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Ya know Chief....now that I think on it..I dont think I have ever had one either. I didnt start drinking heavily daily until 3 years ago, but even when I would only drink 1 time a year...it was never one drink...it was until drunk. I may go MONTHS...even a couple of years at times, but if I had one...I had 10. But, I didnt realize it until I started drinking every day...and daily functioning became an issue.