Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

[retteacher]

Hi AAers et. al.: I haven't been to a meeting in a couple of days. I tried to go to one yesterday, but they moved it, & the move wasn't in my small directory. My biggest step is forming a relationship w/another beginner woman in program. We're going to the Tuesday meeting together...maybe take a walk beforehand. I'm doing my reading & writing each day. BTW, thank you so much DG for the daily meditation link. I read it each day.

Please don't hesitate to share if you are reading here. If you'd like to ask questions, we'll answer the best we can. BTW, if you're interested in attending a meeting, the AA link has meeting lists.

Mary

[narilly]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Hi,
Thanks DG for the daily meditation link, I put in in my favorites also.
That is great that you have met another beginner woman in the program Mary. I am sure that relationship will be very helpful.
I am going to a meeting tonight, I enjoy listening to everyone, it is really interesting/informative/inspiring....
Narilly

[cymru]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Hi all. Just saw the thread.
Have been going to AA since Feb 2, and have nothing but good things to say. It has saved my life in so many ways. Am doing the 12 step programme and have felt such a change in my life.
Took a lady to a meeting last night who had just come out of a week long binge. I saw her at my sat meeting, and she was shaking terribly. She seemed better yesterday, and it was good to do something for someone else. To help others.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

cymru: Doggy Girl & I thought it would good to keep our AA thoughts & observations separate from the regular daily thread here on 30 day abs. There are some folks that might feel that AA intrudes a little too much, so we formed this weekly AA thread. I too am working the 12 steps w/a sponsor. Right now, I'm working on the 4th step inventory which has been very revealing. I'm enjoying the meetings so much.

I too see the very, very newcomers. There's one young guy that always sits next to me at a Thurs. meeting I go to. He's so jittery & nervous! When his turn to speak comes around, he can never quite figure out what to say. He seems to be trying very hard to keep his act together.

Anyhow, welcome to this thread. We've had some inspiring discussions.

Mary

[cyclefan]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Hello, this question came up on another part of the forum so I thought I would post it here. It is a sincere question.

"What is a white chip?
Do you have to buy your own chip ?
Do you stand up and say I want my chip ?
I don't mean to offend anyone out there, but am so curious."

If anyone can answer I will let the other posters know. Thanks. Beth

[SAUSAGE]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Hi all

I would like to learn more about AA so I'm following this thread and the other AA related ones you recently created, with interest. Thanks also DG for posting the daily meditation link - I have been looking at it each day for the last 3 days and find it very inspiring.

I will continue to follow this thread to learn more, thank you for sharing your experiences.

[okydoky]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Hi All,
I received my 90 day coin today! A very dear freind that I have made since I started gave me hers. She got it while traveling in Paris last year.
We call them coins and I guess some groups call them chips. They asked me if I would like a 24hour coin at my first meeting. It was silver I think, but I have since passed it on.
I've been to lot's of different meetings and they pretty much ask if it's your birthday, would you like a coin. 1, 2, 3, 6 and 9mo and then annually.
I saw the movie, "My name is Bill W." yesterday and it reminded me of how this all started. Bill was newly sober and on business in another town and tempted to drink, he found Dr Bob and that's what kept him sober. I'm finding this really is key. The strength that I have received from others in the program (and my higher power) keeps me going. Like you said Cymru, helping others is really the foundation because we lose the self pity that make us want to drink.

[cymru]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

I have only ever seen the one year coin, and it seems that is the first one they give to people in the meetings I go to.
A huge part of AA that has helped me live today is the aspects of a mental obsession and a physical allergy. After coming off a bender I would not feel like drinking for maybe 3-4 days. But once my body had had time to recover, I then started to think about drink again. And if I was trying not to drink, I would become that 'dry drunk' The feelings of being restless, irritable and discontent sum it up perfectly. If I wasnt drinking, boy did I let everyone know I wasnt drinking. The constant thoughts of drinking, and how I could. It would come to a stage where I would do something(argue, walk out) so that I could feed this incontrolable mental obsession in my head.
I would then go and buy my first drink, and once that first had gone down, the mental obsession would leave, and the physical craving would start. Once I had started, my mind wouldnt let go until I had blacked out. And then there was the morning after....
And so the cycle continued!
It may sound crazy to some, and it cert did to me to begin with, after going through nemerous detox programmes, rehab etc, but by commiting 100% to this 12 step programme, I have been able to remove the mental obsession of craving from my life, and therefore make the physical craving dormant.
To be a happy man sober. To not need a drink. To not want one, and to have peace of mind.
Now, life aint perfect, and i still have bills, family and work problems, but I am able to deal with them.
I am not a religious person, and never have been, but I have honestly come to believe that a power greater than myself is keeping me from being the person I was.
Once, not so long ago, I would of scoffed at this programme, and thrown it by the wayside. Today, I see it as something that has saved me from an early and lonely grave.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

cymru: Your last post was incredibly honest & perfectly summed up the effect AA has on some of us. Thank you for saying it better than I've ever seen.

Chips: Not all meetings give them out. They are little plastic coins in different colors stating the sober time people have. They're given out at the beginning or end of meetings. A person will call out:
"Does anyone have 11 (10, 9, 8, etc...right down to 24 hours or just coming back to AA after a relapse) months sober?" People who do, go up to the front & receive a chip & a hug. They're meant to be a combination committment, statement of where you are in recovery, & motivation all wrapped up in one little chip recognition. I hope that explains it.

Last night's meeting: Whew! It was a doozy! 2 people spoke & their stories were incredible. They both came back from the gates of hell. If that's not testimony to the power of the program (or whatever), I don't know what is.

Please do not hesitate to continue to come here read, ask questions, etc.

Mary

PS: For the first time at last night's meeting, I saw someone I knew from the "outside." It was a little weird for both of us, but we got over it. Anonymity is the foundation of the prog (thus the name AAnonymous), but I recognize that humans err, & it could come out that I was seen at a meeting or that I'm an alcoholic. I'm now admitting it at meetings, so if it does come out, so be it. I'm not a horrible person...I'm just an alcoholic...someone w/a drinking problem.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

okydoky: Congrats on the 90 day coin! Good for you! I've only gotten the 24 hr. one but will get my 1 month next week (God willing). Mary

[Doggygirl]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Hello everyone! Wow - what awesome, awesome posts. Cy I'm glad you found AA and our AA thread here. I'm glad to hear that AA is helping you. I am not one for much religion either (I'm spiritually confused) and will admit that sometimes in meetings I cringe a bit.

On the other hand, I am getting SO much out of this. I think about drinking less and less, and believe I am learning important things that help me maintain a peace and serenity, and also things that help me be a better person in this world. (helping others, etc.) The way I see it, there is probably NO group activity I could participate in where I would agree with 100% of everything all the time. Why would I expect that of AA? (i.e. I don't agree with everything and everyone at Curves, yet I benefit immensely from exercising there every day)

AA is the person who posted the Daily Recovery Readings link when I picked it up! Thank you AA!

Sausage I'm glad you are finding the thread and readings interesting. I find something I can connect with in the readings almost every day.

Oky, congrats on your 90 day coin!!!! One thing that has been very revealing in AA is understandting JUST how big of a self-pity (Pity Party) mode I really was in all the time. That was my prime operating mode to keep the "excuses" to drink coming. Poor me. No wonder she drinks. Look at how rotten her life is! I'm so grateful to have a growing awareness of my propensity for that "mode" and to change it. I am much happier when not hosting one continuous pity party in my own honor.

Cyclefan - I'm no AA expert so I can only say what happens at the meetings I attend. (but I do believe these are run according to a standard AA format) In the beginning part of each meeting, the group is asked if there is anyone attending AA for the first time, this particular meeting for the first time, if there is anyone celebrating an anniversary or birthday. In fact for anniversarys and birthdays, most often in my experience the question is asked in terms of "in the last week has anyone celebrated an anniversary or birthday..." I have never seen anyone asked for money for an anniversary coin. Those are given. At the Alano Club where I attend meetings, it seems that people gravitate to a "home group" and that is the group they get their coin with - often the sponsor or a close friend gives the coin. But for newer people, they will be asked if they have already gotten their coin and if not, they are always given one if they speak up about an anniversary.

The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for membership. At the meetings I attend a hat is passed and people throw in a buck or two if they can. It is out of those voluntary contributions that the coins are purchased is my understanding.

Mary, thank you for starting this weeks thread. It's good to hear that you are making a new friend. You are doing so great really working the program. I haven't been working it in nearly as organized a way. I'm just doing what I can which is mainly going to meetings and I still feel I'm getting a lot out of it. I'm looking forward to getting more organized and seeing how it goes when I'm working on it with a bit more focus.

I am absolutely learning more about myself through this adventure. And it's good too. My husband has noticed a positive difference in my attitude. I am far less of a nag (nagging is one of the things I do in an effort to control everything around me, which I am trying to stop doing all the time, as one example!).

Oh - back on anniversaries. Oky mentioned the ones where chips are given. But it is quite common in the meetings I go to for people to mention other anniversaries if it means something to them. As an example, tomorrow is my 11 month anniversary and I will definitely be mentioning it!

In yesterdays meeting, we were talking about enjoying peace v. our minds racing ahead to pity parties, control issues, etc. I had a situation just yesterday morning where I caught myself in what for me, is a common trap. I'm just more aware of it now and can take steps to stop it! I was looking out one of our windows at home and noticing how beautiful and green everything is becoming after the warm weather last week and then the rain on Sunday. I am truly blessed to live in a place with this view! Instead of just stopping there, my mind raced ahead to how the grass will soon be in need of mowing, and I wonder if Mr. Doggy is going to get right after that mowing and weeding this year or let the yard go to hell (which he has never done). I was setting up for irritation and nagging with Mr. D about yard work in the future. THIS is one of the reasons why "staying in the now" is a good thing! I realized that "staying in the now" is very connected with me also working on NOT trying to control everything. Not to mention that this sort of unfounded irritation and worry is just a needless disruption to my peace and serenity. It is totally amazing how such LITTLE THINGS and SMALL MOMENTS can really set us off down a good path, or a very bad path. At least I'm starting to catch myself in this craziness so I can stop it!

Anyway, I shared that at the meeting and it felt so good to speak it in addition to thinking it. I'm really glad others share what they do becuase so often I find something of value in a small thing that someone shares. You never know.

Well, another long post! I finally was up early enough today to catch up a bit here. Now I'm off to the daily thread with only a little of time left.

Have a great day everyone..

DG

[cyclefan]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Thanks Doggiegirl! You are a font of knowledge and I read your posts with much enjoyment.

Thanks to you also Mary. Your courage and honest is a daily inspiration.

[retteacher]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

Regarding pity parties in today's daily recovery readings:

"The only thing you get from sitting on the pity pot is a ring around your butt & nobody to show it to.


I thought that was funny. Mary

Thank you cycle fan.

[Sheepish]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

OK Mary- that made coffee come out of my nose.
Thank you.
And good morning to all. I am on day 7 AF. I don't necessarily have anything to add as this is the AA thread- have been to AA meetings in the past and have the same issues that many of you have expressed although, like Mary and DG, I have found many parts of them to be interesting/inspiring.
Now that I have outed myself here - I guess I have to admit I am a lurker on this thread as well as the daily ABs!
Thanks to all who contribute on both threads and I will try and contribute if I can come up with something. Not good to always be a lurker... I know.
Have a good day
-Sheep

[ready2change]

Weekly AA Thread - Week of April 20 - 26

I love this weekly thread!!

Cymru,
Thanks so much for summing this up for me! This gives me such a huge perspective on the meaning of a "dry drunk" and you put it so eloquently! That is ME in a nutshell. I am a "dry drunk" meaning I feel sorry for myself that I can't drink. There is that "honeymoon" period after a drunk where I love being sober and vow to remain that way. Then my obsessed mind begins to take over (so much so lately that the thought of not being alive to continue this battle even entered my mind..so sad to say). I need to figure out a way to devote more time to AA...I know it has been suggested that the time we take to drink we could be spending at AA...but I rarely drink nowadays and my work schedule is so hectic...excuses, excuses...I WILL figure out a way. I want what you guys have so badly.

And if I was trying not to drink, I would become that 'dry drunk' The feelings of being restless, irritable and discontent sum it up perfectly. If I wasnt drinking, boy did I let everyone know I wasnt drinking. The constant thoughts of drinking, and how I could. It would come to a stage where I would do something(argue, walk out) so that I could feed this incontrolable mental obsession in my head.
I would then go and buy my first drink, and once that first had gone down, the mental obsession would leave, and the physical craving would start. Once I had started, my mind wouldnt let go until I had blacked out.

Thanks so much to all who contribute to this thread. I get so much out of it. I do read the big book everynite before going to sleep. Sobriety is ALWAYS on my mind.

Mary, love the Pity Pot analogy...I sit on mine way too much. Well back to work for me. Everyone have a great day!

R2C