Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

[Loppy lugs]

Hi all,

After 9 months AF I fell off the wagon on 31 January. I have spent the last 3 months totally disgusted with myself. Feeling totally useless and then consoling myself with bottles and bottles of wine.

But the spring mornings make me hopeful so today I start again.

Checking in here every day used to keep me on track. I am also going to follow DGs example and this time I am going to go to the gym.

I can do this!

[boozehag]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Good for you Loppy. You can do it!
BH

[startingover]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Loppy, you CAN do this. Good to see you back.
I am 9 months AF and at the moment, a drink is the last thing on my mind, but I know how quickly that can change too.
Good luck.

[Kirova]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Have a great workout, Loppy! Exercise in general can strengthen your resolve to kick AL's butt. Throw in a little Spring, a sense of renewal, and you're on your way.
Wishing all a fabulous day! :h

[rustop61]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Hi everyone

Of course YOU CAN DO IT Loppy. I too find checking in every day keeps me focussed. There is lots of great advice and inspiration on this thread.

Speaking of advice, have any of you long time abstainers kept a diary to record when cravings hit? It was something that hit me last night. I was sitting there during my normal witching hour with absolutely no craving or thought of Al. Why is that some days are like that and others not? I know that at certain times of the month I crave sugar/junk, (trying to keep away from it and eating healthier) is that in any way related?

Weather not as nice today but have had my walk and its great to be alcohol free.

Rustop

[speedster]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Good morning all!

Loppy, welcome back. Posting daily even if it just says hello, exercise, and reflection will get you through this.

I'm happy to be AF this morning. Contemplating taking the next 2 days off works, while there is a short lull before I get really busy again. I could use the time to take care of a couple volunteer related matters and get some additional exercise.

Have a great AF day!

[cymru]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Think about what led you to drink this time Loppy. Were there any unadressed issues. 9 months is a huge achievement, and theres no doubt you can do it again. Stay with us.

[startingover]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

rustop61;598089 wrote: Hi everyone

Of course YOU CAN DO IT Loppy. I too find checking in every day keeps me focussed. There is lots of great advice and inspiration on this thread.

Speaking of advice, have any of you long time abstainers kept a diary to record when cravings hit? It was something that hit me last night. I was sitting there during my normal witching hour with absolutely no craving or thought of Al. Why is that some days are like that and others not? I know that at certain times of the month I crave sugar/junk, (trying to keep away from it and eating healthier) is that in any way related?

Weather not as nice today but have had my walk and its great to be alcohol free.

Rustop

Hi Rustop, I dont keep a diary as I havent really had cravings for a long time. But about a month ago all of a sudden they came back with a vengeance. Physical and mental cravings, it was dreadful...it lasted about 3 days until I went back on my Lglutamine and Kudzu. Someone also mentioned PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptom??) which can rear its ugly head from time to time. It really shocked me but now I know it can happen, I know it will pass and I know I can beat it....but that was the first time since my early af days....

[hiddengoal]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Hello Loppy, and all to folllow -

It's a HUMBLING realization for us all that ol' AL can be so persistant with trickery. I love how you just came back on and posted what it is - no frills - Al gotcha....fell off....... But it was a small and boring moment in comparison to the days without the empty bottles. I bet that 3 months was probably time that was almost 'scripted' with little creativity.

But you have turned it rich by being a reminder to us all that it can blindside even after long successes. Thank you, thank you for coming back and dealing with it, with us.

HG

[SAUSAGE]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Hi everyone and all to follow

A special hello to Loppy - welcome back -good to "see" you. Yes I do recommend exercise, it really helps, and give you a "buzz" in a different way. Your story really scares and motivates me at the same time - after 9 months AF you drank again - I can relate to this - i'm nearly 6 months sober and have been having a lot of drinking thought lately which worries me.

I've not been posting much lately also which worries me (mainly because I don't feel i have anything interesting to say) although I have been logging on every day and reading. I was away over Easter for a week, but since my return i've not really had a lot to say. I follow this thread ( i've stopped following abbercisers although am still trying to exercise so must get back into that thread) and the ones about AA which i'd like to learn more about and i've been following the recovery daily readings mentioned in the AA thread. I've stopped counting individual days, and recording my progress on drink tracker, however I'm well aware of my 6 month anniversary on May 3rd. Not sure if this lack of posting is like the drinking thoughts and cause for concern, or just a natural progression as many of you comment that after months sober you need / rely / post on MWO less. I'm just a bit scared / wary that's all.

It's lovely warm sunny weather in the UK at the moment - makes me feel much more positive / love the spring summer weather, but as I say I am having drinking thoughts (that I can moderate) which worry me. I don't want to crack particularly just before i reach my 6 month anniversary.

I'll be back later

Have a good day all

Sausage xx

[hiddengoal]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Gooday All!

Facing Day 8 today - whoopee! Much of 'the read' I have landed on lately has been about people 6, 9, 15, and more months AF who are getting blindsided by drinking thoughts or even falling off the wagon. Hang on everyone, I guess 'Al's grip' can be invisible, but very tight.

I have been surprised that I have not had craving #1 in these 7 days...til last night. Phew, and it came with a vengence. I was so set-up. It was the perfect scenario for a 'night of wine'. I unexpectedly found myself headed into a few days with hubby gone and on my way to the store for a few groceries. That could mean a trip down the wine aisles and a quick grab of a couple bottles of Chardonnay for the larder. I could come back home, pour a nice glass and sip away while I made dinner for my son, clean up the kitchen, and then settle down to finish the rest of the bottle. Sounds relaxing, eh?

But I fought it. I was talking out loud all the way to the store. There must have been at least 3 different people sharing this conversation in my brain - quite a sight if you saw me at a stop light - ha! "You haven't said you were quitting forever", "what is the goal of this anyway?", "maybe its time to try a glass or two"...BUT wait, "I cannot do one glass". Then all this talk: What is one glass of wine, anyway? Who does that? Not me - can't...so don't go there tonite - its just a Tuesday nite - at least wait til a weekend, or an event with friends, or some other time when you are not alone. Maybe you should just moderate - now's a good time to try.....But I know it would be the whole bottle, and then what? Start AF again until the next bottle? You see, its not glasses of wine anymore, its bottles.

Alone, that one gets me and is my preferred time for wine. So, I just kept talking and ended up with, "just don't do it this time - stay with what you are doing right now - not drinking and so much more". "Get some gingerale, go home and do the same cook clean routine, but enjoy it in a different way - something new, stay off the same old boring train" - there is absolutely no creativity in doing things the same ol way.

Be creative - break routine - do new things - that is living.

HG

[dill]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Hiddengoal: Were you telling your story or mine? And thank you for that wonderful post.

Have a great day everyone. Courage and strength be yours when you need it! Laughter, too.

[greeneyes]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Morning abbers!

Hi loopy, good to see you! Great determination in your words!

I'm happy to say that with my car in the shop, my dad berating me for what he perceives as inadequate attention, divorce negotiations, office forclosure, enemployment.... that drinking is NOT on my mind. I did eat my whole bag of M&M peanuts last night, but I honestly didn't think of drinking. How cool is that? Not taking it for granted mind you!

Have a good one!

[retteacher]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Loppy: Glad to see you back. I know exactly how you feel, because I've had the same experience.

Sausage: You don't need to have anything profound to say in order to share here. Whatever you share from your experience will benefit others. Also, you share for yourself. As you know from the discussion on the AA thread, isolation is an enemy to us drinkers. Sharing here at MWO is a way to break the isolation.

Take care everyone. Mary

[Accountable for Me]

Wednesday 22 April AF Daily

Morning all!

Welcome back, Loppy. You can do this!!!

Nothing much to say today. I am feeling good. Not drinking OR smoking is giving me loads of energy the last couple of days. I managed to clean my house and do the laundry yesterday. Then nana and I went out and bought some flowers for the garden. It was so beautiful out.... and seeing I haven't had a smoke in over a week; the smells of spring were delightful. (smoking kills your taste and smell senses). Just loving it!!!!

Have a great day everyone.