AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

[hiddengoal]

Well, if everyone else is sleeping in, I'll just jumpstart this thread. Whoohoo! I just ticked off 3 more AF days on the drink tracker....yea for me! I have been busy and no time to post, but I have been reading a bit. I just looked at the blog feature and am considering using it as a 'journal' of sorts. I haven't read the ones on here - interested to see how it all works.

Second week of counseling and I have no trouble sharing - LOL! I think this will be good timing for really doing some work - individual stuff. All the collection of thoughts, lost dreams, hurts, hopes, anecdotes, blessings, trouble, and s(m)(gl)adness that make up me can just lay on the table whilst I review. There is never time for this, but now I will make time. It is this collection that has gotten me here - and why wine became such a close friend, maybe my closest (I typed 'closet' first - maybe not so wrong). Ok, enough...I will save this rambling for the blog and spare you folks!

So here's to another AF day and to ENCOURAGEMENT - we all need it, and it's hard to do for ourselves.
It is GREAT to wake up clear-headed, and to see what is around and ahead, rather than moping through a cloud.

HG

[greeneyes]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Wowee, hiddengoal, that rocks!!! Good on yerself!!!

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Morning all,

I've been up for HOURS :H I had counselling last year with a specialist drug/alcohol service and found it difficult, emotional, revealing, challenging... lots of other things. I told my counsellor once that I looked at it as a bit like going to the dentist - I kind of dreaded it but knew it was actually good for me.

From yesterday: DG: you should be proud of yourself for turning your lifestyle around and doing everything you can to ensure a speedy recovery. And a cute doc to hold your hand through it too...

Cindi: I hope you get your work issues sorted out quickly. I had a sudden work/money crisis last year and it was a scary time.

Sunshine's back here :specs: wheee!

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Hi Everyone: I just wanted to check in & say hello. I'm doing well & am on track. Yes, I think about drinking, but it's mostly in the context of putting it behind me. I'm doing some internal work on myself. I'm sorting out the reasons why I drank alcoholically. It isn't easy, but I think a necessary task. I'll check back later. Mary

[hiddengoal]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Why we drink/drank/drunk the way we do........

Loneliness
Self-loathing
Fear
HABIT
more?......

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

RESENTMENT!! Adding to your list of reasons HG - that's a big one for me. Feeling resentful is actually the one thing that has moved my brain into the "I'll show YOU! I'll go to a BAR!" thoughts. I haven't acted on those thoughts but it was pretty scary until I figured out that when I smell resentment creeping in, I must get rid of it quick.

Good morning everyone!!!! HG thank you for starting us off today, and with such a thought provoking post to boot. Keep us posted on your blog exploration - that sounds like a good idea. And I want to read it once you get it going!

Speedster, CONGRATS on your trial success!! Wow - qualified for regionals!! You must be proud of your pup! Most importantly, it sounds like you both had fun. Yes - pictures would be awesome!

lilmea, good point about First Sober Spring. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Actually "being here" to plant stuff in my experimental garden. Even if it all dies or is all eaten by bugs or taken over by weeds this is a huge step forward from where I was last year! Here's to sober springs!

Marshy, that's a good comparative - examining our emotional baggage being like a dental visit. The pain that's good for ya I guess. I hope you are doing something fun in the sun today! Yes...cute surgeon and cuter student surgeon.....

Greetings also Greenie and Mary and all to come!

I was up early this morning but the time has totally gotten away from me. I have some accounting work to do today including closing the books on last year. I hope I don't *F* that up as I have done before LOL. I don't know why debits and credits are so beyond the scope of my comprehension. I always get them backwards. But I got an A in calculus. Go figure. But for right now I'm off to my usual Tuesday morning round of meetings personal and business.

Later!! Happy AFness to all.

DG

[dill]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Good morning HG, Greenie, Marshy, DG and all to come:

On hiddengoals list:

avoidance: Drinking is a way of physically being present, as required, but emotionally detached.

[speedster]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

HG - what a wonderful start for a thread, I am reading Deepak Chopra's "Freedom From Addiction". I just started but think it's going to be excellent food for thought.

I feel very energized today and not anxious about any tasks. Am so glad to be AF and reflect on the agility trial, garden planting etc, instead of filling my head with regret and self-loathing thoughts.

Hugs to all!

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Ditto on avoidance of everything through AL:
-conflict
-intimacy
-discomfort
-life in gnereal.

Ditto on resentment.
-drink, drink, drink so that I won't have to settle things in a mature manner (which takes forethought, maturity, self-control, & courage).

Mary

[SAUSAGE]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Hi all

Quick check in from me - i'll be sticking close to MWO over the next few days, as I approach my 6 month anniversary - I feel I need it.

Thanks everyone for all your messages of support, over the last few days when i've really struggled. What has really scared and motivated me at the same time (if that makes sense!?) is how many people have experience of relapse after months and months - maybe even year(s) of sobriety. I have been having dangerous thoughts these last few days - keep having fantasies about how "nice " it would be just to enjoy the occasional drink in the evenings - like a normal person - I keep dwelling on people I know who are able to do this and who are hugely successful in their personal and family lives - so it must be OK mustn't it!!!!!!!!

I know if i start drinking again it will escalate quickly and be a higher levels than before SO WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF?!?!

I'm nearly at 6 months - i've achieved so much in last 6 months and lost almost 28lbs in weight too - I'm the shape and weight I was when I was 25!! I can get back into my wedding dress. i've so many more interests and hobbies, I interact with my family better, I have a tidier cleaner home (although am still trying to de-clutter) I am exercising well, so WHY WHY WHY am I doing this to myself?? I suppose it is because I am an alcoholic.

i'm going to log on to the tool box thread and read all the why I hate alcohol stuff, and I'll be back later.

Sausage xx

[retteacher]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Sausage: You're an inspiration! mary

[LVT25]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

I'm headed out the door for day 2 of meetings....but wanted to pop in and add some encouragement to Sausage. You have come so far, woman!! Give yourself a break and a pat on the back! You're not going to blow this. Remember, alcohol is over-rated. It's a toxic poison that you have cleared from your body and you don't want to put any more back in!!!
It makes you feel and look like shit! If you have the hypnosis cd's give them a go again for a few days, if not, try some meditation. Plan something really fun and out of your comfort zone to celebrate 6 months--I know you can do this, you just have to figure out a way to shut those B@#!%#ds up that are in your head!!!:h:l:h

Ok, now I really gotta go. Later.
:h

[rustop61]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Hi everyone

Just a quick check in, its hectic here at the moment. Just wanted to add my encouragement to those of you who are struggling at the moment. Well done Sausage on keeping on track, we all know how hard that can be.

Off chauffering again, will catch up on the posts later.

Rustop

[Doggygirl]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

Hello speedster and Dill. Yes, avoidance is another relevant one for me!

Sausage, I am so proud of you for soldiering on through this difficult time. Alcohol surely is cunning, baffling and powerful. I often found myself going nuts around anniversaries that I placed importance on when I quit smoking. Then once the anniversary was passed things got back to normal. It hasn't been that way so much with drinking for me, but it seems lots of folks do go through this. Wisdom! The good thing is that YOU have the choice to say no. You are doing GREAT. Congratulations too on the wonderful improvements you have made in your life over the course of the last 6 months!

Hi Rustop! Hi LVT! Can't wait to hear more about your meetings once they are over and you have some time.

ETA: Since all of you probably don't follow the AA thread, I would like to congratulate Mary here on the Daily thread for her 30 days AF!!!! :yougo::yougo::yougo:

DG

[Marshy]

AF Daily - Tuesday April 28

hiddengoal;602412 wrote: Why we drink/drank/drunk the way we do........

I'd add to the list: wanting to switch my brain off from thinking, analysing, just the constant whirring going on in there :nutso: